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The duo is back after a couple vacations, and they’ve got a lot to say about travel. First up, a complaint about business class flights, some thoughts on international airlines, and some ideas about cafe culture and different paces in life.
Plus…you don’t want to miss another shocking Instagram story, this time involving button quails. Jess and Caroline talk about how to make money in the digital world, respect for the risque hustle, why limited options actually make you work a little harder, and the reason cold-calling is pretty annoying. Glad to be back, kooks!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Shop our favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you!
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If you woke up feeling all lovey dovey, it’s probably because you just KNEW a Love Letter was coming for you <3. Jess is here post-vacation to talk through some listener-submitted WHATADOs. She starts with a question about friends drifting apart right before a wedding, and dives deep into ego in friendships and also just…missing each other.
Next up is a WHATADO about finding purpose when you don’t want kids. Jess talks all about the definition of “loved ones” and “community” and urges listeners to expect the best instead of the worst when going against the grain. She wraps up the episode with a hot take on the viral “Is It Embarrassing to Have a Boyfriend” article, and a couple artsy updates. Kisses!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
Subscribe to Prince Abi's Substack at www.abinewhouse.substack.com.
And listen to Jess's Peaking podcast here!
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
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Kooks, be honest: do you like Whole Foods? Jess and Caroline start out the episode with their complaints about the health food superstore, which then leads into a conversation about splitting chores with their partners, constantly coming up with new home design projects, and the overwhelm of always wanting to change your surroundings.
Then, Jess gives an exciting update: she’s deleted Instagram! The two talk about leaving social media behind, funny social media habits, and how much actual real-life social activities they’re balancing with their alone time. One social activity that’s off the table for them might surprise you. It’s an age-old way of gathering that isn’t quite hitting anymore…listen and let us know: do you agree?
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
It’s Hater Hour up in here! But not just one hater; Caroline’s fiancé Justin is also joining the chat, and boy if he isn’t a sassy baby. The two start out by discussing some of Justin’s personal hates: the phrase “you’re allowed to feel that way” and people’s obsession with outer space. Then, a third hater joins: their cat, Whitley! They chat all about why they got the cat and what Whitley has meant to their lives so far.
But wait, there’s more! They dive into toxic patterns of people they used to date, feeling alive in relationships, and ideas about home renovations. And then some more complaints: air travel and lack of community. Are they all doom and gloom, though? You’ll just have to see!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
__
Hello to our haters and lovers! Though today, the haters are really shining. Jess and Caroline read through a few listener submissions for their series Am I The Hater? Topics include taking a roommate’s absence personally, pointing out a friend’s boyfriend’s babyface, and canceling on attending a wedding for a curious reason.
Of course, these questions turn into deeper conversations, where J and C ruminate on judgement replacing communication, learning who your friends really are, what acceptance really means, and the give/take process in relationships. If you’re the hater, we don’t want to be the lover, because these crazy behaviors belong to our type of people.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE
Check out the lace Fits Everybody Collection at https://skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
__
If you find yourself looking back at high school and wondering…what was that? You’re not alone. Jess and Caroline start out the episode ruminating on the universal feeling of trying to fit in while feeling very alone at pivotal ages in our lives. This conversation leads into a deeper thought spiral about insecurity, constantly seeking for meaning, and why organized religion isn’t always the answer.
Plus, J and C follow up on their homework assignment: were they able to not step in to save a potential awkward social situation? Could they not act over-the-top for the express purpose of making someone else feel validated? You’ll just have to find out.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM
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What’s up, kooks? Ever had a parasocial relationship? Us, too. Jess and Caroline discuss the creators they relate to, why those relationships are special, and why they’re kind of weird, too. Up next: a complaint! J has a weird retail experience, which leads the two to discuss the weird blame game people play, and how built-up resentment equals the end of customer service.
Then, they discuss motivation from another angle. It’s kind of a chicken/egg situation: does motivation come first, or does action come first and then motivation? They ruminate on the difference between motivation and momentum, and consider that passion may just be a part of the grind. Is it luck or hard work? Plus, ‘tis the season: C has been having some wedding-related nightmares…
P.S. Here’s the Peaking episode that Jess referenced on the fallacy of hard work.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Hi there, kooks! This week, Caroline and Jess have a surprise party to debrief on. C was shocked to discover friends and family—including J—at her parent’s house, and is honestly still recovering. J tells her side of events and then the two discuss feeling loved and the best ways to pull off that sort of surprise.
Then J reveals that she and her partner traded their traditional social roles at a party recently, and it made her consider again if she’s doing too much in her relationship(s). What are the ways we connect with people? What could a party be like if we didn’t try so hard to connect people? And what would life feel like if we knew the line between helping and harming the possible connections around us? C and J talk all things breaking codependency and then offer a little homework assignment to you: it’s easy, ostensibly—be baby.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
__
House party! Jess is in town and she and Caroline record IN PERSON from Caroline’s living room. J finally gets the down low on C’s cat, and it’s everything you ever hoped for. They talk all things cat life (and sing a little jingle) before diving into a few work WHATADOs.
The first revolves around finding what you’re passionate about, and how to make sure your content connects with people while keeping the spark alive for yourself. So much existentialism! The next focuses on the balance between loving your job and hating your coworkers, and the last touches on advocating for yourself when work you’re capable of keeps getting given to other people. Werk werk werk werk werk, baby boos!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
__
Welcome to the N4E megachurch, kooks! Today, Jess and Caroline navigate the multiverse, exploring how reading and horror movies make them think of different versions of themselves on some parallel timeline, and how gamifying everything leads to some odd religious connections.
It truly is a multiverse of topics in this episode, as they get into sexual harassment at work, dealing with doubt about your gut feelings, young people with too much power, and how putting people on a pedestal is a dangerous game. Plus, they celebrate a huge milestone! If you were wondering, J and C will always hold you in the palm of their hands. Bless up.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM
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Feeling spicy? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline are ready to serve up a few hot takes. They discuss baristas complimenting you, tipping culture, sci-fi movies, toilet humor, oreos in water (!), motorcycles, and coed bachelorette parties and baby showers.
But they don’t stop there! In fact, these topics are merely entries into a world of even deeper hot takes. They dive into their confusion about cities and states, breastfeeding rumors, scary movies, best pantry snacks, and yes, Jess tries once more to get more info about Caroline’s new cat. Will she reveal anything? You’ll just have to find out.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
__
THE PHONE!! - https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=zdfknme
Y’all! It’s time for the dumb phone update everyone’s been waiting for. Caroline and Jess talk through C’s transformative experience of being somewhat off the grid. They discuss all things phones and social media, from graphic design meant to keep you online to deleting social media to what they’re doing instead of scrolling.
This conversation leads to deeper conclusions about being committed to having a life full of peace, and J ruminates on a random day out that led her to feel more alive than she has in a long time. They discuss the point of life, planning less, and letting boredom happen. Slow down babies! And warning: you’re gonna want to toss your phone after this one.
More about Light Phone here: https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=zdfknme
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Welcome to the last Hot Not Bothered episode! Jess and Caroline tackle some difficult WHATADOs, answering questions about how to date after trauma, how to approach being the only one in your friend group who’s dating, and how to accept being “too much” in the dating world.
Plus, they talk about being wingmen, how to know if a relationship is good, themed get togethers, and the secret to letting loose and meeting people in public. Also, you don’t want to miss Jess’s stellar Office reference. I feel God in this podcast, what about you?
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
__
Babies and gentlemen, boy have Jess and Caroline got a hack for feeling better! They talk about achieving small tasks, writing down your moods, and how both can help with ongoing crises.
Then, they dive into a listener submission asking about how to deal with all the emotions and panic of dating. They discuss relationship anxiety, the age-old question of “is he mad at me?” and what it actually means to “be yourself” around your partner. Plus, a continuation of the conversation around balancing work and life. Are they father villains? You can decide.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM
Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
___
Who’s ready to complain? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline start us right off with some complaints about gym tours, canceling memberships, and getting yourself motivated to go back to the gym after a little hiatus. This turns into a deeper conversation about emotionally regulating with food and alcohol, and how connection is the antidote for addiction.
Then they follow-up on a few subjects left hanging. What ever happened to Caroline’s “dumb phone”? And how have the shorter hangs and phone calls with friends been going lately? They ruminate on good topics for spending time with friends and, of course, the best Yasso flavors.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
***
In this episode, Jess and Caroline unpack the “red flags” that might not be red flags at all — or at least, not dealbreakers. What if your date has never been in a serious relationship? What if they voted differently than you in 2016? What if there are some glaring differences? The girls get into the nuance of context, the difference between patterns and one-offs, and how to tell if you’re seeing a warning sign or just someone’s humanity showing. Spoiler: not every flag requires a full evacuation. Some just require a little more digging.
Whether you’re a walking green flag or proudly toxic with a spreadsheet, this one’s for anyone who’s tired of pretending we’re all dating in a vacuum. Let’s talk about when it’s okay — maybe even wise — to stay.
***
Check out Jess' solo podcast PEAKING!!! - everywhere you get podcasts :)
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/notforeveryone today to get 10% off your first month.
__
In this post-birthday solo episode, Jess is a changed woman. She shares the hacks she used to get the most of her time off, and one in particular might rock everything you've ever known about her.
Then she turns to listener-submitted complaints, covering everything from boob sweat to body image. Jess has been having a lot of personal reactions and reflections when it comes to the recent online movement that thinner is better (#Skinnytok), and she unloads them all in this episode - not because she has answers, but because she deeply relates to those of us who feel the pressure to lose weight for special events and look small for other people's approval. If that conversation isn't for you today, feel free to skip ahead to 21:55.
Jess also gets her hands dirty with two friendship-related whatados, which both seem more complicated than they really are once she breaks them down. When to chalk it up to negativity and impose boundaries? When to compromise vs. when to speak your mind? She has opinions.
Plus, labubus and The Bachelor, and a very special announcement that her first podcast - Peaking - is back! Find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more to support Jess beyond this space.
This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
***
It's the Hater Hour. In this spicy solo episode, Caroline tackles two listener dilemmas that are so deeply unhinged in the best way: “Comparing Myself to His Ex” and “Ghosting My BFF.” Ever found yourself six months deep in his ex’s Instagram, convinced she’s hotter, kinder, and owns a Dyson Airwrap? Caroline’s been there—and she’s calling out the delusion. Expect hot takes on comparison spirals, fake confidence, and why stalking your boyfriend’s ex is basically emotional self-harm in cute packaging.
Then we pivot from romance chaos to friendship crimes: yes, we're talking about ghosting your bestie. What do you do when your BFF is toxic, fair-weather, and impossibly demanding. To ghost? Or not to ghost? To confront? Or run? If you’ve ever wanted to be forgiven and a little feral, this episode’s your church.
Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM
__
Kooks, we’ve got a fun one for you. First, Jess and Caroline discuss the perfect response to getting ghosted, which leads them into a deeper conversation about dealing with haters on the internet, and how C handles rude comments on YouTube.
Then, Jess talks about doing things slower, which leads to an epiphany about self actualization and striving to “be better.” They wrap things up with a complaint about Variety’s popular Actors on Actors series, inequalities in acting and media, and what the best kind of representation looks like for underserved groups of people. Kisses!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/notforeveryone today to get 10% off your first month.
__
Remember the game Rush Hour? Ever feel like that’s just your day-to-day life? This week Jess is picking up exactly what Caroline is putting down, and if you’re anything like the two of them (i.e. anxious, people pleasers, short), you probably will too. Commiserating over their recent stressful work weeks, J and C talk about their stress responses and coping mechanisms when it comes to feeling overwhelmed. Caroline comes in hot with a new mental shift – make it feel like a scavenger hunt – and though Jess is dubious of the suggestion at first, she’s bought in by the end, searching for a man in a green hat to take a photo with on a park bench.
They also share some fresh complaints about things they’ve seen on the internet lately and where they do (and don’t) put their phones. Things get kooky, y’all!
This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!