This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE
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Happy New Year, kooks! Jess and Caroline are back for a chatty episode revolving around their goals for 2026. This time, it’s all about achieving work/life balance—but not in the ways you might expect. Jess talks a new hack for separating her work from her personal life, Caroline talks building her team, and they both try to nail down their “whys” for wanting to be more present in their lives.
Plus, they discuss the feeling of always being in trouble—whether that’s with a boss, partner, or even themselves. And then, we get a little update on a new co-working situation that might solve all those complaints about wishing for meaning and connection. Knock on wood…but this year might be off to a good start?
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
The holidays are rife for loneliness and feeling down about your situation. So we wanted to send you a little bolstering, and some reasons to hang in there...plus a bit of time travel. This episode comes from the Not For Everyone archives, it originally aired on April 21, 2023 and the original recording took place a few hours before Caroline met Justin for the very first time.
Jess and Caroline unpack the fear of abandonment, and the exhausting belief that your worth is tied to how well you perform socially. Caroline opens up about a messy breakup, taking a break from dating, and nervously heading into her first date with Justin that night. Jess meets her there with her own reckoning around feeling lovable without being likable. Along the way: therapists asking the rudest question imaginable (“what if you didn’t have to do anything?”), petty beef with cultured food trends, a question for Bugs Bunny, and a reality-TV podcast gripe. Equal parts vulnerable, unhinged, and experimental—this one has the full spectrum.
The episode also includes a lot of important commentary on cottage cheese. You're welcome.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Welcome to Holiday Hug, where the N4E team extends a warm embrace from their Christmas break to yours - because let's be honest, the love isn't always flowing when we're back in our childhood homes.
This week opens with your lover as she takes us back to Episode 87, an all-time favorite of hers from the archives. It's one she thinks back on often, as she and Caroline recorded it just moments before a very difficult conversation she knew she was going to have to face. Jess talks about what it feels like to be over a year out from that moment, and invites the kooks to re-listen since she knows this time of year can be filled with uncomfortable dialogue and unwanted confrontation.
The episode from the archives also features a loaded listener WHATADO about a friend who got a bit too close for comfort with her partner, plus a story from Caroline about the time she ruined the vibes at a dinner party (read: she was on shrooms). Many reasons this episode was one for the books! Please enjoy as you take a much needed break from family time, and we'll be back to hug you once more next week before all-new episodes in 2026.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This podcast is sponsored by Aura Frames. Get $35 off the Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SCIENTIST with code SCIENTIST.
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
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Happy holidays, kooks! Jess and Caroline have convened to discuss all things holiday hot takes. From opening presents one person at a time to staying with family even when you’re drained to the correct Christmas light colors, they unleash their inner demons to validate your concerns.
Plus, expect a deeper talk spurred from a listener DM about family commenting on how much you’re eating (TW: eating disorders), and a discussion about gift giving in general. Are you allowed to say you dislike a gift? Are Justin and Ryan good gift-givers? And is eggnog good?? Grab a candy cane and get cozy. We’re going there.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This podcast is sponsored by Aura Frames. Get $35 off the Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SCIENTIST with code SCIENTIST.
Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/notforeveryone10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life!
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Kooks, welcome to another week of takes that are not for everyone! Jess and Caroline jump right in with a discussion on how we should be able to disagree with each other without it meaning the relationship is damned. They talk about those friends who just love to debate, and then try out a few This-or-Thats to see if they can get into fights with each other.
Then Jess dives deep into why she’s felt work overwhelm for the past little while, and they problem-solve how to prioritize schedules, in both corporate jobs and for self-employed people. And what a convenient segue into doubling down on why remote work kind of blows! Then they end with a few complaints about compliments and drinks. ‘Tis the season!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This podcast is sponsored by Aura Frames. Get $35 off the Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SCIENTIST with code SCIENTIST.
Shop our favorite pajamas at https://skims.com/. Be sure to let them know we sent you by selecting "podcast" in the dropdown menu following checkout.
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Happy three years to N4E! Jess and Caroline reflect about their time as podcast co-hosts, and then dive into a couple complaints about, well, talking to each other on the internet. They discuss the difference between in-person conversations and online ones, activism on the internet, and they do a little follow-up on some of their hottest takes that got them in the throes of internet anger.
Then, they launch into a few listener-submitted questions! They discuss everything from nasty sex questions to celebrity crushes to what they judge people about to guilty pleasures. They end with a little love fest about all they’ve accomplished together and offer a few kisses, just for you.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE
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Happy Holidays, kooks! Today, Jess and Caroline call in an expert - who also happens to be one of Jess’s closest friends: Kate Berman, AMFT - to discuss your WHATADOs just in time for that awkward family dinner.
They start off strong with a question about whether the listener should join her boyfriend’s family vacation even after his father seemed less than pleased with the idea. Then they move into a question about unexpected divorce, which leads them down a rabbit hole on the pain of being misrepresented. Kate shares her insights on when couples therapy is most valuable before the three dive into their last juicy WHATADO: all about if you’re having enough sex in your relationship. What if we divest from society’s expectations? What if we accept that there are seasons to our sex lives? They explore it all, just for you.
Kate is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) who is passionate about helping clients increase self-awareness, harness their innate strengths, and ultimately improve the quality of their relationships - with self, loved ones, the environment, and their sense of purpose. Drawing on her interdisciplinary background in psychology, yoga, and public health, she helps clients explore the root causes of their challenges and the beliefs that keep them feeling stuck. If you are based in California and looking for support, learn more and reach out to her here.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Go to https://Zocdoc.com/NOTFOREVERYONE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. #sponsored
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The duo is back after a couple vacations, and they’ve got a lot to say about travel. First up, a complaint about business class flights, some thoughts on international airlines, and some ideas about cafe culture and different paces in life.
Plus…you don’t want to miss another shocking Instagram story, this time involving button quails. Jess and Caroline talk about how to make money in the digital world, respect for the risque hustle, why limited options actually make you work a little harder, and the reason cold-calling is pretty annoying. Glad to be back, kooks!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Shop our favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you!
Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE
Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/notforeveryone10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life!
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If you woke up feeling all lovey dovey, it’s probably because you just KNEW a Love Letter was coming for you <3. Jess is here post-vacation to talk through some listener-submitted WHATADOs. She starts with a question about friends drifting apart right before a wedding, and dives deep into ego in friendships and also just…missing each other.
Next up is a WHATADO about finding purpose when you don’t want kids. Jess talks all about the definition of “loved ones” and “community” and urges listeners to expect the best instead of the worst when going against the grain. She wraps up the episode with a hot take on the viral “Is It Embarrassing to Have a Boyfriend” article, and a couple artsy updates. Kisses!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
Subscribe to Prince Abi's Substack at www.abinewhouse.substack.com.
And listen to Jess's Peaking podcast here!
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Check out This Month's Craft at https://thismonthscraft.com/discount/NotForEveryone20?utm_source=influencer&utm_medium=youtube&utm_campaign=NotForEveryone&redirect=/products/this-months-craft-subscription-boxes and use code NotForEveryone20 for a 20% off discount code for your first box.
Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE
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Kooks, be honest: do you like Whole Foods? Jess and Caroline start out the episode with their complaints about the health food superstore, which then leads into a conversation about splitting chores with their partners, constantly coming up with new home design projects, and the overwhelm of always wanting to change your surroundings.
Then, Jess gives an exciting update: she’s deleted Instagram! The two talk about leaving social media behind, funny social media habits, and how much actual real-life social activities they’re balancing with their alone time. One social activity that’s off the table for them might surprise you. It’s an age-old way of gathering that isn’t quite hitting anymore…listen and let us know: do you agree?
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
It’s Hater Hour up in here! But not just one hater; Caroline’s fiancé Justin is also joining the chat, and boy if he isn’t a sassy baby. The two start out by discussing some of Justin’s personal hates: the phrase “you’re allowed to feel that way” and people’s obsession with outer space. Then, a third hater joins: their cat, Whitley! They chat all about why they got the cat and what Whitley has meant to their lives so far.
But wait, there’s more! They dive into toxic patterns of people they used to date, feeling alive in relationships, and ideas about home renovations. And then some more complaints: air travel and lack of community. Are they all doom and gloom, though? You’ll just have to see!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
__
Hello to our haters and lovers! Though today, the haters are really shining. Jess and Caroline read through a few listener submissions for their series Am I The Hater? Topics include taking a roommate’s absence personally, pointing out a friend’s boyfriend’s babyface, and canceling on attending a wedding for a curious reason.
Of course, these questions turn into deeper conversations, where J and C ruminate on judgement replacing communication, learning who your friends really are, what acceptance really means, and the give/take process in relationships. If you’re the hater, we don’t want to be the lover, because these crazy behaviors belong to our type of people.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE
Check out the lace Fits Everybody Collection at https://skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
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If you find yourself looking back at high school and wondering…what was that? You’re not alone. Jess and Caroline start out the episode ruminating on the universal feeling of trying to fit in while feeling very alone at pivotal ages in our lives. This conversation leads into a deeper thought spiral about insecurity, constantly seeking for meaning, and why organized religion isn’t always the answer.
Plus, J and C follow up on their homework assignment: were they able to not step in to save a potential awkward social situation? Could they not act over-the-top for the express purpose of making someone else feel validated? You’ll just have to find out.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM
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What’s up, kooks? Ever had a parasocial relationship? Us, too. Jess and Caroline discuss the creators they relate to, why those relationships are special, and why they’re kind of weird, too. Up next: a complaint! J has a weird retail experience, which leads the two to discuss the weird blame game people play, and how built-up resentment equals the end of customer service.
Then, they discuss motivation from another angle. It’s kind of a chicken/egg situation: does motivation come first, or does action come first and then motivation? They ruminate on the difference between motivation and momentum, and consider that passion may just be a part of the grind. Is it luck or hard work? Plus, ‘tis the season: C has been having some wedding-related nightmares…
P.S. Here’s the Peaking episode that Jess referenced on the fallacy of hard work.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Hi there, kooks! This week, Caroline and Jess have a surprise party to debrief on. C was shocked to discover friends and family—including J—at her parent’s house, and is honestly still recovering. J tells her side of events and then the two discuss feeling loved and the best ways to pull off that sort of surprise.
Then J reveals that she and her partner traded their traditional social roles at a party recently, and it made her consider again if she’s doing too much in her relationship(s). What are the ways we connect with people? What could a party be like if we didn’t try so hard to connect people? And what would life feel like if we knew the line between helping and harming the possible connections around us? C and J talk all things breaking codependency and then offer a little homework assignment to you: it’s easy, ostensibly—be baby.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
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House party! Jess is in town and she and Caroline record IN PERSON from Caroline’s living room. J finally gets the down low on C’s cat, and it’s everything you ever hoped for. They talk all things cat life (and sing a little jingle) before diving into a few work WHATADOs.
The first revolves around finding what you’re passionate about, and how to make sure your content connects with people while keeping the spark alive for yourself. So much existentialism! The next focuses on the balance between loving your job and hating your coworkers, and the last touches on advocating for yourself when work you’re capable of keeps getting given to other people. Werk werk werk werk werk, baby boos!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
__
Welcome to the N4E megachurch, kooks! Today, Jess and Caroline navigate the multiverse, exploring how reading and horror movies make them think of different versions of themselves on some parallel timeline, and how gamifying everything leads to some odd religious connections.
It truly is a multiverse of topics in this episode, as they get into sexual harassment at work, dealing with doubt about your gut feelings, young people with too much power, and how putting people on a pedestal is a dangerous game. Plus, they celebrate a huge milestone! If you were wondering, J and C will always hold you in the palm of their hands. Bless up.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM
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Feeling spicy? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline are ready to serve up a few hot takes. They discuss baristas complimenting you, tipping culture, sci-fi movies, toilet humor, oreos in water (!), motorcycles, and coed bachelorette parties and baby showers.
But they don’t stop there! In fact, these topics are merely entries into a world of even deeper hot takes. They dive into their confusion about cities and states, breastfeeding rumors, scary movies, best pantry snacks, and yes, Jess tries once more to get more info about Caroline’s new cat. Will she reveal anything? You’ll just have to find out.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.
__
THE PHONE!! - https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=zdfknme
Y’all! It’s time for the dumb phone update everyone’s been waiting for. Caroline and Jess talk through C’s transformative experience of being somewhat off the grid. They discuss all things phones and social media, from graphic design meant to keep you online to deleting social media to what they’re doing instead of scrolling.
This conversation leads to deeper conclusions about being committed to having a life full of peace, and J ruminates on a random day out that led her to feel more alive than she has in a long time. They discuss the point of life, planning less, and letting boredom happen. Slow down babies! And warning: you’re gonna want to toss your phone after this one.
More about Light Phone here: https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=zdfknme
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Welcome to the last Hot Not Bothered episode! Jess and Caroline tackle some difficult WHATADOs, answering questions about how to date after trauma, how to approach being the only one in your friend group who’s dating, and how to accept being “too much” in the dating world.
Plus, they talk about being wingmen, how to know if a relationship is good, themed get togethers, and the secret to letting loose and meeting people in public. Also, you don’t want to miss Jess’s stellar Office reference. I feel God in this podcast, what about you?
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:
youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.
And don't forget about our APPAREL:
nfepodapparel.com
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!