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Not so Christian Brothers
Not So Christian Brothers
61 episodes
2 days ago

Not so Christian Brothers

An authentic look at modern masculinity from two brothers from different generations. They share insights on fatherhood, brotherhood, and everything in between. 

It's presented by veteran broadcaster Colm Hayes who's voice is instantly recognizable from his years in FM104, RTE and presently Ireland's Classic Hits radio and his brother Justin Caffrey , a well renowned high-performance coach and entrepreneur.

With years of experience between them and stories you've probably never heard before, you may want to get involved.

These guys don't mess around, it's funny, informative, current, sensitive and ball-breaking all at the same time.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Society & Culture
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All content for Not so Christian Brothers is the property of Not So Christian Brothers and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Not so Christian Brothers

An authentic look at modern masculinity from two brothers from different generations. They share insights on fatherhood, brotherhood, and everything in between. 

It's presented by veteran broadcaster Colm Hayes who's voice is instantly recognizable from his years in FM104, RTE and presently Ireland's Classic Hits radio and his brother Justin Caffrey , a well renowned high-performance coach and entrepreneur.

With years of experience between them and stories you've probably never heard before, you may want to get involved.

These guys don't mess around, it's funny, informative, current, sensitive and ball-breaking all at the same time.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Society & Culture
Episodes (20/61)
Not so Christian Brothers
The Conversation We Weren’t Ready to Have… But Had Anyway

This aftershow hits deeper than anyone expected.


It opens with Justin’s wild story about a man who dug an entire underground temple system under a mountain — by himself — because a vision told him to. A surreal, spiritual, nearly supernatural experience that ends with police crying in awe and Justin being choked by a “future spirit” the night COVID hit. It’s bizarre, fascinating, and completely NSCB.


But then the conversation shifts.


Colm talks honestly about burying his wife just two months ago — and how impossible it feels to “heal” when time hasn’t even begun to make sense yet. Justin pushes back, exploring how grief forces us to confront not only loss, but every unresolved bruise underneath it. Rebecca balances both worlds, trying to make sense of the emotional chaos while grounding the conversation in compassion and common sense.


From there, the episode expands into:

• Therapy — does it actually help, or is it just talking in circles?

Colm questions its value. Justin argues it saved his life. The contrast is powerful.

• The tin-can theory of life.

Justin explains how unresolved trauma rattles behind us until we face it — and why avoiding it only makes the noise louder.

• Parenting, perfection, & the myth of the “healthy family.”

Rebecca challenges the idea that some kids grow up untouched. Colm insists every family carries something — always.

• Empowering children instead of shielding them.

Colm shares a story about talking to schools and teaching kids the language of resilience.

• Rebecca’s incredible story about her daughter’s confidence breakthrough.


From hiding at the back of sports day to suddenly smashing races and tackling a gruelling 800m hill run — the evolution becomes the emotional heart of the episode.

This aftershow is raw, human, emotional, hilarious, and unpredictable — the exact chemistry that makes Not So Christian Brothers what it is.


🕒 CHAPTER TIMINGS

00:00 — The Underground Temples & the Spirit in the Future Room

Justin’s insane Damanhur story and the night COVID hit.

02:30 — Aftershow Starts: Same Parents, Different Timelines

The crew settle in.

03:30 — Colm vs Therapy: “Does it actually help?”

A raw and honest debate about grief and whether therapy works.

06:00 — The Tin Cans We Drag Through Life

Justin’s analogy for unresolved trauma and emotional weight.

10:00 — Grief, Shock, and Why No One Is Ever Ready

Colm talks openly about losing Anne.

13:00 — Sudden Death vs Expected Death: Does It Change Grief?

A deep dive into how different losses impact us.

16:00 — Children, Resilience & the Harm of Over-Shielding

How modern parenting affects mental health.

18:00 — Empowerment vs Protection in Raising Kids

Colm shares stories from Cycle Against Suicide and parenting.

20:00 — Rebecca’s Daughter Finds Her Strength

A powerful story of confidence, sport, and resilience.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 days ago
28 minutes 3 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
We Got Another Legal Threat… Are We About to Be Shut Down?

The Christian Brothers have officially come for the podcast again — and this time, they’ve issued a full legal warning. In today’s episode, the NSCB crew dive into the new solicitor’s letter, the history of being sued over podcast names, why they might have been targeted again, and how the lads feel about it all.


The episode begins with absolute chaos: Colm reveals — on mic, with zero warning — that the podcast has received a brand-new legal letter from the Irish Christian Brothers. Yes… again. The team read through the solicitor’s message, which threatens legal action if they don’t respond within 14 days. And immediately, the debate erupts:

– Why are they being targeted?

– Why Colm’s the one they always find?

– And what does this mean for the podcast’s name (for the second time in their history)?


As the crew unpack the bizarre déjà vu of being sued for their podcast identity, they veer into the complicated history of the Christian Brothers at their own school — a mix of humour, trauma, absurdity and gallows comedy that only NSCB can pull off.


From there, Rebecca drags the show back to sanity (briefly), before the team launch into the week’s biggest news story: Troy Parrott’s unbelievable comeback and the headlines that followed (“The Late Troy Show”). They break down his journey, the pressure he’s faced, the resilience it took, and why Ireland is buzzing again.


The conversation then spirals beautifully into:

– therapy (and why some avoid it),

– intrusive thoughts,

– controlling emotions,

– political leaders with “a screw loose,”

– how childhood shapes adulthood,

– and the importance of digging deep rather than avoiding the hard stuff.


It’s funny. It’s raw. It’s fast-moving. It’s NSCB at their best.


And yes — they promise to keep listeners updated if they get sued. Again!!


New NSCB every Thursday & Sunday



🕒 CHAPTERS

00:00 — Another Legal Letter Lands

Colm reveals the new solicitor’s warning from the Christian Brothers. 

02:00 — The First Time They Got Sued

The crew revisit the “Brothers in Arms” name and the original legal battle. 

04:00 — Christian Brothers: Humour, Trauma & Chaos

A mix of jokes, school memories, and uncomfortable truths. 

06:30 — Should They Bring a Christian Brother on the Show?

A wild idea gets tossed around. 

07:00 — The Troy Parrott Phenomenon

Why Ireland is suddenly obsessed and how he turned his career around. 

12:30 — Intrusive Thoughts, Control & Modern Life

The team talk mindset, anger, and overthinking. 

24:00 — “Are World Leaders Losing the Plot?”

Colm’s rant about global politics and people with “a screw loose.” 

31:00 — Men’s Mental Health & Getting Into the Weeds

Rebecca pushes the importance of real emotional work. 

32:00 — Wrapping Up… and Yes, There’s More in the Aftershow

Hints about defending people who avoid therapy and what’s coming next. 


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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5 days ago
32 minutes 46 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
The Movies That Broke Us: Childhood Dreams, Death, and the Films That Shaped Our Lives

This week’s Aftershow takes a turn down movie memory lane — and things get emotional, hilarious, and unexpectedly profound.


Justin reveals how a paleontology podcast led to a dinosaur dream meltdown, Rebecca unpacks the childhood film that taught her people can die, and Colm dives deep into why Elf, Love Actually, and even war movies can hit harder than therapy.


From Steel Magnolias, to The Big Chill, to the absolute chaos of 80s action films and teenage rom-coms, the Not So Christian crew explore how the movies we watched shaped who we became — our ideas of love, masculinity, loss, rebellion, and everything in between.


It’s nostalgic. It’s unhinged. It’s surprisingly healing. And it’s pure Not So Christian Brothers energy.


🎧 New episodes every Thursday and Sunday — don’t forget to follow and share!


What movie shaped you?


This Aftershow will have you laughing at the absolute chaos of dinosaur dreams and “penetrative” Elf monologues — and then crying as childhood film scenes resurface with all their forgotten lessons.


Justin opens up about the movies that taught him how to be a man when he had no role model. Rebecca remembers the moment a film shattered her belief that mothers can’t die. Colm explains why certain movies become emotional anchors that we return to our whole lives.


This is an episode about memory, identity, childhood, grief, love — and the strange, beautiful ways films teach us who we are.

Grab your popcorn (and maybe a tissue). This one stays with you.


🎧 Chapter List

00:00 – Dinosaur Dreams & Midnight Panic

Justin’s paleontology podcast → dinosaur dream → waking chaos with the dog.

03:00 – Emotional Fallout from the Main Episode

Rebecca reacts to Colm’s monologue; how “Elf” hit harder than expected.

06:00 – Movies That Shaped Our Childhoods

Family cinema memories, the films tied to parents, siblings, and growing up.

09:00 – Rom-Coms, Love Actually & First Ideas of Love

Why some rom-coms stay with us, the bracelet scene, and teenage awakenings.

12:00 – Films That Built Our Identities

Ferris Bueller, Breakfast Club, macho 80s movies, and shaping masculinity/teenage rebellion.

15:00 – Movies That Taught Us About Death

Steel Magnolias, My Life, and the films that introduced mortality.

18:00 – Films as Emotional Anchors

The movies we return to for comfort, nostalgia, or mental health support.

19:30 – Wrap Up

Like, share, follow — and see you Thursday.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 week ago
19 minutes 54 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Disney Lied to Us All | The Movies That Messed Up Our Minds

The Brothers are back — and this week they’re tearing into the fairy tales, Disney dreams, and “life lessons” that turned out to be complete nonsense. From Snow White’s dodgy consent to Willy Wonka’s psychedelic child abuse and Elf’saccidental life coaching, it’s a deep dive into the movies that shaped our childhoods — for better or worse.


Colm reveals a beautiful real-life love story from Venice, Justin opens up about the film that changed how he saw grief forever, and Rebecca manages to keep the lads (mostly) on track. Expect laughs, heart, and a touch of chaos.


🎙️ New shows every Thursday and Sunday — honesty, humour, and a little heresy.


⏱️ Chapter Timings (Suggested):

00:00 – The beanie, the dwarfs & Disney’s dirty secrets

05:00 – Willy Wonka’s emotional damage & childhood illusions

08:30 – When real life feels like a movie

10:00 – Love, Venice, and the most romantic story ever told

11:00 – The films that left scars (and inspiration)

15:00 – Grief, legacy & The Big Chill

17:00 – Finding meaning in Elf & the art that moves us

20:00 – Why sharing art is the most human thing we do




Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 week ago
28 minutes 38 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
The Myth of Balance: Why Peace Is Overrated

Everyone’s chasing balance — but what if the secret is learning to live in chaos?


This week’s Aftershow gets philosophical (and messy) as Colm Hayes, Justin Caffrey, and Rebecca Horan unpack the cult of calm. From meditation fails to emotional meltdowns, they rip into the myth that life’s supposed to feel peaceful.


Colm admits he’s allergic to silence, Justin defends stillness (badly), and Rebecca proves she’s the only one who actually understands mindfulness — or at least can pronounce it.


It’s loud, honest, and unexpectedly therapeutic — in that “you’re not alone in being a disaster” kind of way.


🎙 New episodes every Thursday & Sunday.

🗓 This episode: Sunday, 9 November 2025.


Everybody’s telling you to calm down — but what if that’s the problem?


In this episode, the Not So Christian Brothers dismantle the modern obsession with peace, balance, and “wellness.”

Colm’s wound up, Justin’s zen (for five seconds), and Rebecca’s calling them both out.


It’s the Aftershow that proves chaos isn’t failure — it’s the natural state of being human.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

00:00 – Welcome & “the cult of calm”

02:00 – Colm vs stillness: “Silence is suspicious”

04:30 – Rebecca on burnout & balance myths

07:00 – Justin’s meditation confessions

09:00 – Why chaos might be more honest than calm

11:00 – Mindfulness, missteps & manic Mondays

13:00 – Final thoughts & next week’s tease



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 weeks ago
24 minutes 58 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Everybody’s Faking It (Even You)

Let’s be honest — we’re all full of sh*t.


This week, the Not So Christian Brothers — Colm Hayes, Justin Caffrey, and Rebecca Horan — rip apart the illusion of perfection we’ve built online and off.

From filtered lives and fake humility to Irish denial, ego, and middle-aged crisis rebrands, they say the quiet part out loud.


Colm calls out “bullsh*t wellness,” Justin admits he’s been just as guilty, and Rebecca lays down the truth about people who post “authentic” just to get attention.

It’s funny, uncomfortable, and scarily relatable — a full-on takedown of modern self-delusion.


🎙 New shows every Thursday & Sunday — subscribe now and join the unholy honesty.


You think you’re being real? You’re not — and neither are we.


This episode of Not So Christian Brothers goes straight for the jugular:

why everyone’s pretending, who’s fooling who, and how social media made us all addicted to lying.


It’s fast, filthy, and full of uncomfortable truth.

If you’ve ever posted a “no filter” selfie or humble-bragged about mindfulness — you might want to sit this one out.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

00:00 – Welcome & Colm’s rant on fake people

03:00 – The cult of “authentic” influencers

06:00 – Justin admits he’s played the same game

09:00 – Rebecca’s reality check: “Nobody’s that happy”

12:00 – The Irish art of denial

15:00 – Midlife rebrands & spiritual bullshit

18:00 – Truth bombs & uncomfortable laughter

21:00 – Sunday tease & a final jab at fake gratitude


🗓 Release Date: Thursday, 6 November 2025

🎙 Next Episode: Sunday, 9 November 2025

📢 New shows every Thursday & Sunday — on Spotify, Acast, Apple, and YouTube.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 weeks ago
25 minutes 49 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Brothers, Guilt & The Snowman: When Family Messes You Up

This one hits hard.


In this week’s Aftershow, the Not So Christian Brothers — Colm Hayes, Justin Caffrey, and Rebecca Horan — drop the jokes (mostly) and dive into the emotional minefield of family, childhood, and guilt.


Justin remembers being left behind in a house that didn’t feel safe, watching Colm build a snowman through the window.

Colm swears he doesn’t remember doing it — and Rebecca isn’t letting him off the hook.


What starts as a nostalgic story becomes a brutally honest conversation about survival, neglect, loneliness, and why Irish families never really talk about love — just guilt.


It’s raw, revealing, and somehow still hilarious.


🎙 New shows every Thursday & Sunday.

🗓 This episode: Sunday, 2 November 2025.


Ever carried guilt from your childhood? Or blamed your brother for turning you into who you are?


Colm and Justin open old wounds (and old snowmen), with Rebecca playing referee.

It’s part therapy, part sibling rivalry, and 100% Not So Christian.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

00:00 – Welcome & the “Snowman Story”

02:00 – Childhood memories vs selective amnesia

04:00 – Guilt, leaving home & who got left behind

06:00 – Rebecca calls out Irish emotional repression

08:00 – Sibling rivalry & the fight to be seen

10:00 – Family dysfunction, loneliness & love

12:00 – The red-pen parents & emotional grammar lessons

13:00 – Wrap-up, chaos & next week’s tease


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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3 weeks ago
12 minutes 59 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Crying for Clicks: Are We All Addicted to Misery?

Are we healing — or just performing pain for attention?


This week on Not So Christian Brothers, Colm Hayes, Justin Caffrey, and Rebecca Horan get brutally real about the age of emotional exhibitionism.

From crying selfies and mental health influencers to therapy addiction and Irish repression, no one’s safe.


Colm thinks we’ve replaced resilience with victimhood, Justin argues for real healing, and Rebecca calls out the hypocrisy on both sides.

It’s funny, uncomfortable, and more honest than most therapy sessions.


Everyone’s sad. Everyone’s online.

And everyone’s telling you about it.


Colm’s had enough of performative misery. Justin’s defending therapy. Rebecca’s trying to make sense of it all.

It’s Irish honesty at its finest — sharp, savage, and weirdly comforting.


If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at a crying influencer (or been one), this episode’s for you.


🎙 New episodes every Thursday & Sunday — subscribe now so you never miss the chaos, comedy, or confession.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

  • 00:00 – 02:30: Oversharing, misery & the therapy epidemic
  • 02:30 – 06:00: Colm vs Justin — resilience or repression?
  • 06:00 – 09:30: Rebecca on empathy burnout & online sadness
  • 09:30 – 12:00: Irish mental health, male silence & dark humour
  • 12:00 – 15:30: Crying selfies & trauma as content
  • 15:30 – 18:00: When therapy becomes a brand
  • 18:00 – 21:00: Real talk — loneliness, loss & living offline
  • 21:00 – End: Sunday tease + a final jab at influencers


🎙 Next Episode: Sunday, 2 November 2025

📢 New episodes every Thursday and Sunday — on Spotify, Acast, Apple, and YouTube.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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3 weeks ago
26 minutes 24 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Beckhams, Billionaires & Bullshit: Power, Sex & Corruption

Sunday’s supposed to be holy — but not here.


In this week’s Aftershow, Colm, Justin, and Rebecca dive straight into scandal, corruption, and why humans can’t handle power.

It starts with Beckham’s affair, jumps to Epstein’s empire, and somehow ends up at Paul McCartney, Margaret Thatcher, and mommy fetishes.


💬 What they actually get into:

  • Is Rebecca Loos brave or just bored?
  • Why money, sex, and power always corrupt — and who’s worst at it
  • Justin admits being “a power-hungry asshole” in his twenties
  • Rebecca schools the lads on women’s real motivations
  • Colm insists he’s “the least corrupt man alive” (no one believes him)
  • And yes… it ends with another lesbian joke

This is Not So Christian Brothers — unholy, uncensored, and impossible to stop listening to.


🎙 New episodes every Thursday & Sunday.

🗓 This episode: Sunday 19 October 2025.


Power, sex, greed — and David Beckham’s Sunday roast.

Colm’s defending men again, Justin’s confessing to corruption, and Rebecca’s running circles around them both.

It’s filthy, funny, and far too honest for a Sunday.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

00:00 – Sunday blasphemy & Mass talk

02:00 – Beckham, Rebecca Loos & revenge stories

04:00 – Epstein, Ghislaine & the corruption triangle: money, power, sex

06:00 – Men’s “three pillars” vs women’s “three truths”

07:30 – Justin admits his power addiction

09:00 – Paul McCartney, ego, and artistic narcissism

11:00 – Can women be corrupted — or are they worse when they are?

12:00 – Margaret Thatcher, affairs & fantasies

13:00 – Lesbian callback, chaos, and sign-off


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
13 minutes 46 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Woke, War & Wives: The World’s Gone Mad (Again)

This one’s an absolute ride.


Colm gets accused of having “lesbian energy,” Justin tries to justify angry men, Rebecca calls out everyone’s hypocrisy — and somehow it all ends with aliens ditching Earth because we’re too boring.


The gang dive head-first into:

  • The rise of angry men and the backlash against “woke”
  • Why politics is full of egos and zero compassion
  • Golf wives, patriarchy, and public meltdowns
  • Whether women make better (or worse) leaders
  • How the first murder — Cain & Abel — set the tone for humanity


It’s blunt, funny, a bit mad, and exactly why you listen to Not So Christian Brothers.

No filters. No safe takes. Just three voices tearing into the week’s chaos.


🎙 New shows every Thursday & Sunday.

🗓 This episode: Thursday 23 October 2025.


If you think the world’s lost the plot — you’re not alone.

Colm’s ranting about militant lesbians, Justin’s defending dictators (kind of), and Rebecca’s trying to hold civilisation together.

Somehow, it’s educational. Mostly, it’s just unholy fun.


Chapter Timings

00:00 – Are you a lesbian, Colm? (and other casual chaos)

05:00 – Angry men, woke culture & the incel problem

10:00 – Rory McIlroy, golf wives & patriarchal nonsense

15:00 – Putin, Trump, and why power always corrupts

20:00 – Cain & Abel → The first murder was family business

25:00 – Aliens are bored & AI is smarter than us

28:30 – Wrap-up + VPL jokes & shameless plug for Instagram


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
29 minutes 52 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Fueled by Anger or Freed by Forgiveness? The Aftershow Gets Personal

It’s Sunday, and the hangover from Thursday’s episode on forgiveness is still brewing.


Colm Hayes, Justin Caffrey, and Rebecca Horan are back — a little raw, a little caffeinated, and absolutely not ready to forgive.

From Taylor Swift and Mariah Carey to business betrayals, heartbreak, and hospital trauma, this aftershow turns reflection into revelation. Colm argues that anger fuels success, while Justin opens up about his past, therapy, and losing his son — and how forgiveness saved him.

Rebecca keeps the chaos grounded as the conversation drifts from revenge to redemption, Catholic guilt to Protestant freedom, and even Trump’s ego to South Dublin snobbery.


This is Not So Christian Brothers at its best: raw, real, and roaring with uncomfortable truths.

🎙 New episodes every Thursday and Sunday — subscribe now so you never miss the chaos, comedy, or confession.


Ever been told to “let it go”? Colm thinks that’s nonsense.

Justin says forgiveness is the only way to survive.

Rebecca’s just trying to stop them from throwing microphones.

In this brutally honest Aftershow, the trio dive into what really drives people — anger, pain, or peace? From family and faith to fame and failure, it’s the episode that proves growth doesn’t come from calm... it comes from chaos.

Whether you’re the grudge-holder or the peacekeeper, this one will hit home.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

  • 00:00 – 01:00: Mariah Carey, Taylor Swift & the power of pop queens
  • 01:00 – 03:00: Forgiveness recap — Colm’s “never forgive” manifesto
  • 03:00 – 06:00: Anger as strength vs forgiveness as freedom
  • 06:00 – 09:00: Justin’s powerful story — grief, loss, and letting go
  • 09:00 – 11:30: Does anger make you successful?
  • 11:30 – 13:00: Rebecca opens up about bullying and resilience
  • 13:00 – 15:00: Irish education, class, and the South Dublin struggle
  • 15:00 – 17:30: Religion, repression, and the guilt that shapes us
  • 17:30 – End: Sunday scaries, leadership, and life’s endless lessons


🗓 Release Date: Sunday, 19 October 2025

🎙 Next Episode: Thursday, 23 October 2025

🔔 New episodes drop every Thursday and Sunday — follow on Spotify, Acast, or wherever you get your podcasts.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
18 minutes 26 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Forgive, Forget, or F* Off? The Truth About Letting Go

Can you really forgive and forget?


This week on Not So Christian Brothers, Colm Hayes and Justin Caffrey go head-to-head on forgiveness — from global politics to personal betrayal. Is forgiveness a spiritual superpower or just psychological self-preservation?

Rebecca tries to keep the peace as the lads spiral from Olympic doping scandals to Viagra sponsorships, Panadol hypocrisy, and the dark days of Christian Brothers education. It’s raw, unfiltered, and painfully honest.


💬 Expect heated debates, unexpected wisdom, and the kind of laughter that comes from old wounds and too much truth.

🎙️ New episodes every Thursday and Sunday — subscribe now so you never miss the madness.


If you’ve ever struggled to forgive someone — or wondered whether forgiveness is overrated — this episode will have you shouting “Amen” and “Absolutely not!” in the same breath.

Colm doesn’t buy the idea that we can truly forgive deep harm, while Justin argues that forgiveness is freedom itself.

From Nelson Mandela to Netanyahu, from classroom trauma to childhood fear, the conversation hits nerves — and nerves hit back.

It’s philosophical, it’s personal, it’s brutally Irish.


This isn’t your Sunday sermon — it’s Not So Christian Brothers.


⏱️ Chapter Timings

00:00: Colm’s drive-in rant — doping, hypocrisy & Panadol ads

04:00: Viagra sponsorships and “enhanced” performance

05:00 : Forgiveness — real or just rebranding pain?

17:00 : Rebecca pivots — new topic: education and the Irish system

18:00: Is school broken? Class, privilege & South Dublin snobbery

23:00: The Christian Brothers memories — fear, beatings & resilience

27:00: Can you ever forgive your education? Wrap-up and reflections


📅 Publishing Note

🗓 Release Date: Thursday, 16 October 2025

🎙 Next Episode: Sunday, 19 October 2025

Subscribe now — new episodes every Thursday and Sunday on all major platforms.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
28 minutes 46 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Happiness, Guilt & The Voices in Our Heads


This Aftershow might just break your heart and make you laugh out loud. Rebecca dives headfirst into intrusive thoughts, Justin preaches that happiness is “an inside job,” and Colm — raw as ever — opens up about finding comfort in grief and guilt in joy.


From Taylor Swift’s provocative new album to a young girl in Gaza teaching resilience through food, the trio weave laughter, life, and loss into one of their most honest Aftershows yet.


Get ready to question what happiness really means — and maybe, just maybe, breathe a little deeper.


🎥 Now streaming in Video on Spotify

🎧 Available on Apple, Acast and all podcast platforms.


Time Chapter:

00:00 - Welcome to The Aftershow – “Voices in Our Heads”

01:05 - Taylor Swift, Intrusive Thoughts & Showgirl Energy

02:40 - TV Anxiety, Death in Media & the Comfort of Familiar Grief

04:00 - Survival vs Happiness – Tattoo-Worthy Quotes

06:00 - Is Happiness an Inside Job? 08:30 The Myth of Constant Joy

10:30 - Excitement, Expectations & Flat Afternoons

12:00 - Finding Joy in the Pizza Moments

14:10 - Gaza, Guilt & the Girl Who Pickled Olives

17:00 - Resilience, Loss & The Magic Shop

19:30 - Breathing, Intrusive Thoughts & Being Present

20:50 - Final Thoughts & Recommendations

21:10 - Like, Follow & See You Thursday!


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
21 minutes 33 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Intrusive Thoughts & the 3:28 a.m. Spiral

We all wake up at 3 a.m. sometimes — heart racing, thoughts racing faster.

In this week’s episode of Not So Christian Brothers, Justin and Colm tackle the 3 a.m. spiral head-on.


Colm talks about what happens when your mind won’t stop running imaginary arguments and worst-case scenarios. Justin explains why the brain does this — from primitive wiring to stress hormones — and how to interrupt the loop with a proven paper-and-pen trick that calms the nervous system.


Rebecca joins the brothers to ask the questions everyone’s thinking: are intrusive thoughts ever useful, and why do we keep feeding them with our screens?

It’s an honest, funny, and surprisingly comforting listen for anyone who’s ever stared at the ceiling wondering why can’t I just stop thinking?


🎥 Now streaming in video on Spotify

🎧 Available on Apple, Acast, and all podcast platforms.


00:00 – Irish politics, PR fails & Sharon Stone’s tweet

03:30 – Intrusive thoughts: why we overthink at night

06:40 – The 3:28 a.m. wake-up and anxiety loops

10:00 – Naming your inner critic and calming the noise

14:00 – When overthinking turns into rumination

17:00 – Doom-scrolling, dark TV, and anxiety triggers

20:00 – How what you consume affects your sleep

24:00 – The myth of constant happiness

27:00 – Journaling, reflection, and tracking your progress

32:00 – Therapy stories & finding humour in the process

34:30 – Closing thoughts: small daily tools for calmer minds


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
34 minutes 59 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Aftershow: Therapy, Grief & the Brothers Who Talk About It”

The Aftershow continues one of the most moving conversations we’ve ever had. Colm has returned to the studio after sharing the story of losing his wife, Anne — and now, the brothers and Rebecca go deeper into what comes next: rebuilding, reconnecting, and getting help.


This time, the laughter mixes with vulnerability. The three talk about the importance of therapy, the fear of showing emotions, and the funny, messy truth of trying to heal. Justin opens up about his own experiences with therapy — including the time his grief was “too complex” for a therapist — while Colm shares how he’s finally ready to face his emotions head-on.


It’s honest, warm, and at times hilarious, but beneath it all lies one message: we need to talk more about men’s mental health, therapy, and the courage it takes to ask for help.





Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
25 minutes 38 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Grief, Anger & Sandwiches: Colm’s Raw Story

This episode marks a special moment as Justin welcomes his brother Colm back to the studio after the loss of his wife, Anne. What begins as a heartfelt homecoming turns into one of the most powerful conversations we’ve ever had on the show. Colm speaks openly about love, loss, and the shock of grief — but also the kindness of strangers, the funny memories that live on, and the importance of showing up for one another when life falls apart.


From there, the brothers and Rebecca dive into a bigger conversation about men, emotions, and mental health. Why do we avoid talking? Why do we doom-scroll instead of opening up? And how do we begin to unravel the pain that sits underneath?


This is an episode for anyone who has ever struggled, ever carried grief, or ever felt the weight of silence. It’s about brothers finding their way back to each other, and a reminder that talking — honestly, openly, even awkwardly — can be the first step toward healing.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
32 minutes 15 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Why Nobody Does Funerals Like the Irish | The Aftershow

Welcome to the Aftershow of Not So Christian Brothers, released every Saturday.


This week, Rebecca, Justin, and Beatrice continue the conversation about loss, legacy, and the powerful traditions that make Irish funerals so unique. After honoring Anne in Thursday’s main episode, the Aftershow dives deeper into the “four objects” tradition, exploring how everyday items — a blanket, a dog lead, a football boot, or even a coffee cup — can capture a person’s life in ways words sometimes cannot

Ep 9 aftershow


.From showbiz glamour to meditation pillows, Bill Clinton’s listening trick to why Irish wakes were once the best place to meet a partner, this Aftershow balances raw honesty, humor, and reflection. Nobody does funerals like the Irish — and nobody leaves without a laugh.

🙏 Remembering Anne, with love to Colm, Alex, and Holly.


The Aftershow drops every Saturday. Subscribe on Spotify, YouTube, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Don’t miss Thursday’s main episodes + Saturday’s Aftershow.


⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome to the Aftershow

01:00 – What objects represent Rebecca? Watch, makeup bag & showbiz chaos

05:00 – The Irish wake tradition: community, gambling, and meeting partners

08:00 – What objects represent Beatrice & Justin? Shoes, meditation pillows & coffee cups

14:00 – How people remember us: warmth, hugs & how you make others feel

16:00 – Bill Clinton’s listening trick at the Ritz & lessons in presence

18:30 – Monica Lewinsky’s reinvention & resilience

19:00 – Closing: remembering Anne & looking ahead to Colm’s return


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
19 minutes 25 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Life, Legacy & Laughter After Loss – What Really Matters Most

This week’s episode opens on a heartfelt note. Sadly, Colm’s wife Anne passed away last week after a long battle with cancer. Our thoughts and prayers are with Colm and his children, Alex and Holly. We hope to have Colm back in studio with us soon to share his own reflections and stories.


In the meantime, Rebecca, Justin, and Beatrice hold space for Anne’s memory while diving deep into the big themes of life, death, and legacy. What do we really want to be remembered for? What symbols or objects capture a life well-lived? And how do humor, tradition, and family rituals help us navigate grief?


From the intimacy of Irish funerals and the surprising power of “four objects,” to parenting, sport, and even online dating honesty—this week’s conversation balances raw honesty, humor, and perspective.

Expect laughter through tears, reflections on resilience, and practical insights on love, family, and finding meaning in the everyday.


👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share. The Not So Christian Brothers podcast keeps growing thanks to you—and Colm will be back with us soon.


Highlights & Timestamps

  • 00:00 – Honoring Anne’s life: Justin reflects on his sister-in-law’s passing and the beauty of her send-off
  • 02:00 – The four objects tradition: What Anne’s perfume, passport, dog caricature, and favorite drink reveal about her life
  • 06:00 – Family first: Justin and Beatrice share the symbolic items they’d want at their own funerals—from blankets and dog leads to Luca’s football boots
  • 12:00 – Parenting highs and lows: Justin relives the drama of Luca’s penalty shootout—tears, pride, and heart palpitations
  • 16:00 – Health & resilience: From flow ropes and dumbbells to mouth tape, the conversation shifts to tools that anchor wellbeing
  • 18:00 – Friendship & connection: Why Justin’s Sunday sauna “mass” with friends matters just as much as family
  • 21:00 – Listener DM: A newly single dad asks what trait to look for in a midlife partner—honesty, humility, and humor take center stage
  • 26:00 – Dating stories: Beatrice and Justin share their first online dating experience (match.com in 2004!) and the lessons learned
  • 28:00 – Wrapping up: Rebecca calls out Justin’s role as an incredible brother, and the crew reflects on the strength of family through grief


👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share. The Not So Christian Brothers podcast keeps growing thanks to you—and Colm will be back with us soon.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 months ago
28 minutes 27 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Are We Born This Way, Or Broken Into It? Labels, Trauma & Destiny Unpacked

❤️ Note to Listeners

Before we dive in, we want to pause. Colm’s beautiful wife Anne — married 35 years — has sadly passed away. We are all devastated for Colm, Holly, Alex, and Anne’s wider family. It is with heavy hearts that we proceed with releasing this show. We felt it was important to keep going, to give us all something to focus our energy and attention on. We send Colm all our love and support, and we hope to have him back with Justin on the sofa next week. Justin, Rebecca, Terry & Beatrice. x


🎙️ Episode Insights

With Beatrice stepping back in as co-host, this week’s Not So Christian Brothers digs deep into one big question: are we destined by nature, or shaped by nurture?

The conversation takes unexpected turns:


  • Labels that stick: how being called “the sporty one” or “the dumb one” as a child can shape (and limit) your life.
  • Childhood trauma: Justin recalls being told he was a “mistake,” his dyslexia struggles, and surgery without anesthesia as a baby — and how those experiences drove him toward success but also left scars.
  • Addiction vs. workaholism: why some childhood wounds lead to drugs, while others fuel socially “acceptable” addictions like overwork.
  • Projection & perception: are we trapped in the roles our families assign us, or do we put ourselves in the boxes we resent?
  • Expectations & disappointment: why managing what we expect from others — birthdays, love, recognition — can free us from resentment.
  • Predestination vs. choice: are our lives set in stone, or do trauma, resilience, and self-belief allow us to rewrite the script?

This is an episode full of raw honesty, hard questions, and surprising hope.


⏱️ Chapters

00:00 – Sending Love to Colm

Opening with support for Colm and his family after Anne’s passing.

01:12 – Can We Change Our Destiny?

Introducing this week’s big question: nature, nurture, or choice?

05:16 – Growing Up as “The Mistake”

Justin shares how being labelled and living with dyslexia shaped his drive.

07:38 – Labels That Stick

How childhood labels — “the sporty one,” “the dumb one” — box us in.

10:02 – When Trauma Rewrites a Life

Beatrice recalls losing her father at four, and how it changed her path.

12:21 – Surgery Without Anesthesia

Justin connects his early trauma to workaholism, contrasted with a friend’s addiction.

14:38 – Labels and Identity

Rebecca on how being “the fun one” shaped (and limited) her identity.

16:13 – Family Narratives and Projection

Why families often keep us in the roles we had as children.

19:12 – What Others Think Is None of Your Business

Justin on resilience and letting go of outside opinions.

22:16 – Expectations and Disappointment

Why birthdays, love, and recognition often disappoint us — and how to change that.

24:42 – Hurt People, Hurt People

Why negative comments usually say more about the speaker than the target.

27:22 – Managing Expectations in Relationships

Beatrice explains how lowering expectations creates more peace at home.

28:48 – Are Our Lives Predestined?

Closing reflections: do we arrive where we’re meant to be, or are we constantly rewriting our story?

31:02 – Like, Subscribe & Follow

Closing thanks, with a nod to the Aftershow and Colm’s return.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 months ago
31 minutes 27 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers
Marriage, Mental Load & 20 Years Together — The Aftershow Takeover

This week’s Not So Christian Brothers Aftershow looks a little different… with Colm away and Terry missing in action, Rebecca and Beatrice take over the mic — with Justin looking on nervously in the corner.


Following Beatrice’s special episode, the Aftershow dives into:

  • 20 years of marriage — what really makes it work
  • Respect, independence, and why couples don’t need to do everything together
  • The “mental load” and how women often carry the invisible weight at home
  • Letting go of perfection vs. letting resentment fester
  • Why laughter, communication, and even scheduled sex keep a relationship alive


💡 This one blends honesty and humour — from shoes left on the stairs to vaccum wars, household roles, and why communication beats resentment every time.


⏱️ Chapter List

00:00 – Aftershow Takeover (Rebecca & Beatrice on the couch)

02:00 – 20 Years of Marriage: What’s Changed

03:42 – Respect, Independence & Still Laughing

05:00 – Who Starts the Hard Conversations?

07:38 – Letting Go vs. Resentment

09:30 – Household Roles: The Mental Load

12:21 – Running a Family Like a Business

13:39 – Style, Clean Homes & Instagram Pressure

16:07 – Shoes on the Stairs (and Why Men Don’t See Them)

18:42 – What Men Really Think About

20:52 – When Therapy Helps (and When It’s Too Late)

21:48 – Sex, Date Nights & Laughter After 20 Years



Highlights

  • “You’re not the same person you were 20 years ago — respect that evolution.”
  • “The mental load is like running a corporation — except there’s no shares and no money.”
  • “I used to get annoyed about the bins and the dishwasher. Now I just let it go.”
  • “If resentment festers too long, it’s generally over.”
  • “Laughter and respect keep a marriage alive — not the dishwasher.”


#NotSoChristianBrothers

#MarriagePodcast

#MensMentalHealth

#MarriageAfter20Years

#MentalLoad

#ModernMarriage

#CouplesPodcast

#MarriageConversations

#JustinCaffrey

#BeatriceCaffrey

#RebeccaHoran

#IrishPodcast

#RelationshipPodcast

#MarriageAdvice

#PodcastClips


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2 months ago
22 minutes 28 seconds

Not so Christian Brothers

Not so Christian Brothers

An authentic look at modern masculinity from two brothers from different generations. They share insights on fatherhood, brotherhood, and everything in between. 

It's presented by veteran broadcaster Colm Hayes who's voice is instantly recognizable from his years in FM104, RTE and presently Ireland's Classic Hits radio and his brother Justin Caffrey , a well renowned high-performance coach and entrepreneur.

With years of experience between them and stories you've probably never heard before, you may want to get involved.

These guys don't mess around, it's funny, informative, current, sensitive and ball-breaking all at the same time.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.