It’s the final episode of the year and the show immediately spirals into Christmas outfits, Black Santa politics, Florida crimes, expired eggnog confessions, and a shocking amount of vagina-based drug transport. The gang reflects on 59 episodes of accidental success, revisits the dumbest and best moments of the year, and somehow ends up defending a man who eats raw hog meat on a sidewalk. There’s gratitude, there’s filth, there’s Florida, and there’s absolutely no plan.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

🧠 Episode Breakdown

• Ian unveils a full “Top 10 Best Things NTDS Did This Year” list, including Black Santa Month, Dirt Squirrel, Stroke’s songs, and the NTDS party
• A Florida woman hides anti-anxiety pills in her vagina during a DUI arrest, launching the “pussy pills” and “pussy smuggler” discussion
• Confessions include role-playing as someone’s mother during sex, a mysterious 20-inch “weiner,” and someone shitting their pants from expired eggnog
• Rick and the Law tells a courtroom story about exposing a cop’s lie using foggy body cam footage and tag lights
• A group of adults use children to pass counterfeit $20 bills and retrieve real change from stores
• The gang debates cheating, why people downgrade when they cheat, and forces Jen to explain human behavior on behalf of all women
• The show ends with thank-yous, Christmas wishes, Spotify download numbers, and a very strange stripper-themed goodbye

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It’s the second-to-last episode of the year and nothing is festive except the murder songs. The gang spirals from Christmas movie arguments into porn logic, listener comments, cousin ethics, and a fan-submitted song literally titled “Cousin Fucker.” A Christmas rewrite of Goodbye Earl turns into a full slasher musical, WTF News delivers dead celebrities, sex offenders, and international orgy arrests, and Mikey explains why the holidays are the greatest excuse to not give a shit. Somewhere in the middle, people fight at Walmart, someone refuses a liver transplant, and everyone agrees Andy Dick should’ve stayed dead.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

🧠 Episode Breakdown

• Ian gets called out for leaving A Christmas Story off his Christmas movie list, triggering a full argument about what even qualifies as a Christmas movie

• Listener comments derail into discussions about sex ed childbirth videos shown to middle schoolers

• A deep dive into whether porn automatically becomes a Christmas movie if Santa is involved

• Stroke debuts “Goodbye Pearl,” a Christmas murder parody inspired by Goodbye Earl

• WTF News covers Andy Dick’s overdose, Bonnie Blue’s Bali arrest, and a South Korean divorce over a liver transplant refusal

• Digital Dump includes holiday slip-and-falls, Walmart fights, ungrateful adults screaming about calendars, and Santa fighting people in public

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Confessions hit a new low. Or high. Depends how you feel about cousin-throatf*cking, blowjob-based food psychics, and judging your self-worth by your dog’s penis. Ian drops a top 10 Christmas movie list that isn’t as terrible as every other list he’s given us. Mikey shares a full Trans-Siberian Orchestra-style Strokeified Christmas song called “Christmas With The Dammits”. Jenn makes us guess if elves are getting boned. And somewhere in the background, Stroke’s kid falls down the stairs mid-show. Happy Holidays, degenerates.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🧠 Episode Breakdown

• Stuffed Peas and Pizza Piss Rants 

• Rear Naked Choke at Home Depot 

• Confessions Include: Doggy dick envy, mailbox robbery, cousin rimjobs, and a literal blowjob food psychic.

• Ding-Dong Ditch Assault 

• Jen’s “Smut or What” goes full Christmas porn 

• Ian’s Christmas Movie List starts chill... and then he puts Batman Returns on it.

• Someone tries to murder their grandma, the gun jams, and now they live together. That's the confession.

• Jenn admits to elbowing Kyle in his sleep. Stroke admits to pissing in a bottle mid-podcast.

• Black Santa Promo reaches “going out of business” levels of urgency.

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Christmas with the Dammits
Not That Damn Show
Strokeified Christmas song
Christmas confessions
top 10 Christmas movies
Black Santa promo
Blowjob psychic
dog dick confession
Smut or What segment
Florida Man umbrella choke
rear naked choke Home Depot
confession cousin sex
elf porn
milk and cookies Santa porn
dog penis confession
Dutch Brothers coupons theft
Black Santa Patreon
Ian top 10 list
Die Hard Christmas movie
Christmas Vacation top movie
ASMR gift wrapping
Stroke Santa suit
cousin rimjob
Stevie Wonder fake blind
elves on a shelf porn
piss bottle podcast
mailbox coupon theft
grandma shotgun jam
Placerville cousin dreams
Black Santa merch
puss in a box
Mikey podcast daughter fall
paid firefighter assault
cops fucking prostitutes
fire hazard cookies
Home Alone movie
Bad Santa movie
Stroke humps elf
confessions about Ian
weird listener confessions
Christmas-themed Smutter What
Patreon Black Santa promo
NTDS merch hat
AI Santa porn
board games confessions
milk and nog jokes
Mikey podcast confessions
weirdest podcast episode ever
Not That Damn Show Episode 57

A professional phone sex operator joins the show and immediately traumatizes everyone with stories of locked dicks, cum bottles, humiliation kinks, and clients who pay extra just to cry. Stroke’s daughter questions the Black Santa takeover, Ian gets hustled with counterfeit silver, and everyone tests out the phrase "ovary walls" on their partners with disturbingly horny results.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🧠 Episode Breakdown

• Stroke brings a new Black Santa to the collection and gets culturally reclassified.
• Mikey retells a school nativity play gone full James Earl Jones.
• Ian accepts a karaoke bribe in the form of fake silver and exacts brutal revenge.
• The gang texts their partners “ovary walls” and chaos (and back blowouts) ensue.
• Listener voicemails include math pickup lines and a kid yelling “African American!” at the Boardwalk
• A listener's girlfriend wants to swing, and nobody wants to be the ugly half.
• “Misheard Lyrics” becomes the dumbest game ever invented (and Mikey regrets it instantly).
• A man swallows a Fabergé egg pendant and becomes New Zealand’s most glamorous turd watch.
• The NTDS crew meets Danni D, a former phone sex operator with stories that will destroy your faith in humanity and maybe your gag reflex.

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Black Santa has officially taken over the show, Stroke has turned his ancestry results into a full-blown lifestyle. The the crew calls 1-900 sex hotlines on-air, and Craigslist brings us Fairbanks, Alaska’s horniest citizens alive. 

Florida Man destroys a Cybertruck, someone’s pussy weaponizes itself at a concert, a trio gets busted mid-noon delight at Winn-Dixie, and confessions escalate from “Ian isn’t cute” to “I nut on faces for emotional regulation.” 

Lawyer Rick shows up immediately after placenta talk because this show has no god.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🧠 Episode Breakdown

• Mikey melts down because he cannot physically begin the show without saying “Episode 55.”
• Stroke unveils a full catalog of Black Santas from CVS and his house now looks like Beyoncé's multiverse.
• Ian gets double-charged at a restaurant by what Stroke calls “that damn cracker,” prompting late-night drunken bank-checking.
• Jen mourns the loss of her stripper lights, which apparently requires Patreon support to resurrect.
• Random Facts derails into a 10-minute debate on whether there's any non-rapey way to say “ovary walls.” (There isn’t.)
• The gang discovers that 1-800-BLOW-JOB, 1-800-SEXYASS, and 1-800-BIG-TITS are all VERY real… and very eager for their credit cards.
• Confessions include eating yourself out, tasting semen, Thanksgiving family abandonment, and an Amazon driver pissing on lawns.

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Episode 54 kicks off with the gang arguing about whether a naked Jimmy John’s founder sexually assaulted a shark, swings immediately into dolphin rape, and somehow ends up debating if humans should breathe through their assholes. Jen gets verbally waterboarded with a listener’s “moist pussy” R&B track, a 12-year-old’s titty wizard gets an art critique, and Campbell’s Soup catches shit after their executive calls all their customers poor.

It’s deranged, it’s beautiful, and it’s exactly what you sick Dammits signed up for.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🧠 EPISODE BREAKDOWN

• The crew debates Black Santa, Big Nick Energy, and Stroke’s new pimp-Santa cane.
• A listener’s song reveals the philosophical horror that “every hand has held a dick.”
• A debate erupts on whether feeding scrambled eggs back to chickens is “period cannibalism.”
• The gang discusses “dirt squirrels” evolving into potential new mascots like sand walruses and sand otters.
• Stroke celebrates being “1% Black,” validated by listener Keisha
• A kid’s drawing of a “titty wizard” (with MILF Slayer wand and tassel tits) devastates the room.
• Ian unveils his Top 10 Things He Misses From the 2000s, including MySpace, Hot Topic goths, and elder-emo culture.

• Ass Backwards: the crew demolishes 2000s reverse-song trivia in seconds.

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Thanksgiving is ruined the second Stroke waddles in wearing a turkey costume. Jen’s back on her anti-moist crusade. Ian brings back “Who Said It?” and loves reminding everyone how insane they are. Mikey accidentally offends every race, religion, and gender.

There’s a Florida threesome gone sideways, a listener’s explosive diarrhea in the shower, and a sex song from Stroke’s girlfriend that might singlehandedly give the pilgrims PTSD. Plus: turkeys from helicopters, diaper violence, and the most disgusting confession of the year....so far.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

• Confessions include: Porn revenge crimes, strip club poop disasters, cheating justifications, and one guy crop-dusting arcade children at John's Incredible Pizza.
• A Thanksgiving sex anthem 
• Random Facts derail into Moses, circumcision stand-offs, and who licked the first toad.
• Florida Man news includes: ATM forklift heists, egg debates turned gunfire, and a TikTok nudist challenge with no phone.
• Everyone’s horny at a baby shower. Allegedly.
• The group debates which U.S. states should be removed and how Rhode Island is basically a geographic clit.

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The crew opens Thanksgiving week by cannonballing straight into Stroke nearly drowning in face-sitting when a 7 a.m. creeper tried to recruit him and his GF for a threesome.

 From there it only gets dumber: McRib betrayal, gas-station Cuban sandwiches, a cat licking its own asshole on Jen’s car, voicemails from unhinged dammits, and a Smurf-themed musical that nobody asked for. Then comes a parade of cheaters, panic-attack manipulators, Roblox predators, period-blood skincare, and two idiots trying to conquer Haiti with a homeless army. 

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🧠 Episode Breakdown

• A Gravy Slut turkey-costume video is confusing 
• Jen explains the Emo’s Not Dead cruise and the crew immediately spirals into “we sponsor a flamingo at a zoo” fantasies, including branding a tortoise shell with the NTDS logo.
• Voicemails include: DP Jeff torturing Jen with “moist,” a dude contemplating the gayness of sucking his own dick, and another listener announcing he’s about to drink Everclear for TikTok.
• A Sacramento listener promotes a free-food pantry, which sends Stroke into a tangent about a church full of suspiciously hot, jacked disciples.
• The crew debates Black Jesus, Black Santa, and the white lady who somehow got offended on behalf of everyone who isn’t her.
• The Damn Problem segment hits hard: cheating girlfriends texting coworkers at 3 a.m., drunk boyfriends confessing therapy resentment at weddings, and women faking panic attacks to dodge accountability.
• The show ends with a revival of the Criminal Dating Game, where the guys must choose between three incarcerated women before learning their crimes and seeing their photos.
  

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Mikey drops a brand-new Strokeified track, and it’s so nasty it might violate community guidelines. Then somehow, things get worse. From ass print forensics to church sermons about butt hygiene, the crew spirals into a full breakdown of poop physics, drone shootdowns, HOA cone wars, and legal advice that may or may not hold up in court. A guy hides in a porta potty, a dog fires a shotgun, and someone confesses to farting so hard they woke their girlfriend.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast!

🎨 Ass Facts explores butt fingerprinting, painted starfish, and a potential CSI crossover.

🐶 Florida or Not includes:

• A staged carjacking to avoid shopping

• A porta-potty standoff with pants down and wooden stakes

• A man shot by his own dog

• A 107mph Little Caesars run

• Golf course destruction with a pickup

• Murder instructions from a cockroach

📜 Legal Q&A covers red light camera legality, squatters, trespassing, dumb lawsuits, eviction rules, and drone shooting laws.

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Episode 50 and we thought, “Hey, let’s do this one LIVE.”
Bad idea? Maybe. Hilarious trainwreck? Absolutely. This one’s got listener voicemails, live comments, dream sex with Ian, confessions involving drive-in theater vomit, and the debut of a new romantic classic: “You Can Put Anything In Your Butt.” Jenn gives us WTF News, Ian brings a Top 10 List that’s… something, and we wrap with the worst game ever invented: Like A Second Song.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

• A listener wrote an actual song about Ian

• Mikey drops the world premiere of the new Strokeified anthem, “You Can Put Anything In Your Butt”

• Voicemails include dreams, dunk tanks, and violent karaoke bar brawls with pool balls

• One listener forgot a butt plug was still in until it launched into a toilet like a gunshot

• Jenn reports on the Duck Guy jerking off in public during WTF News and we all feel unsafe

• Ian’s Top 10 List of Fast Food Items That Should Come Back is literally the worst list ever.

• Damn Problems include: TikTok addiction ruining marriages, discovering secret sex toys, and a serious libido mismatch

• Confession about a blowjob so vile it’s now banned in 17 countries

• The game “Like A Second Song” is absolute chaos.

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Episode 49 is a masterclass in low-brow genius. Stroke’s obsessed with assholes, Ian’s defending freedom for naked chainsaw guys, Jenn’s fighting school drop-off rage, and Mikey’s trying to figure out how the hell they still have a podcast.

There’s “Can We Stop” meltdowns, Florida Man’s bowel-related crime spree, and a Viking turd so legendary it deserves its own museum wing. Then the crew plays the new trivia game “Beat the Cock,” and everyone loses their dignity trying to answer before the rooster crows.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast!

• Stroke unveils Ass Facts, a new educational series for degenerates.

• Jenn’s mom-rage reaches DEFCON 1

• Ian explains why “Run, Forrest, Run” should be punishable by public shaming.

• Mikey tries to stop the team from talking about poop. Fails instantly.

• The gang debates tramp stamps, Chinese tattoos, and parental delusion in youth sports.

• The confessions section spirals quickily

• A deaf go-go dancer, an amputee hookup, and nut-brushing

• “Digital Dick of the Week” is back. Vote on Spotify

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Stroke’s d*ck broke a land-speed record this week. He’s two testosterone shots in and suddenly his girl needs an ice pack and a sabbatical. Meanwhile, Ian’s live bar performance of “No Wrong Hole” becomes a real "crowd pleaser" Jenn breaks the news about Starbucks bear riots, and Mikey tries to figure out why South Lake Tahoe is crying over a city seal.

Then it gets dumber:
– A stepmom finds the Pornhub tab open… and she’s the category.
– A listener sends in a song about buying dicks with a credit card.
– A guy runs a secret Instagram account just to simp in private and thinks that’s normal.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🗣️ A guy ends a voicemail with one word: “moist.” Then hangs up. Power move.

🧻 Listener confesses he remembers only two phone numbers: his childhood home… and 916-312-DAMN.

📆 Dammit Nick complains that our merch is $19.99 and $20. We respond with spite pricing. $21.87, bitch.

🧂 Troy returns to the comments section to roast Jenn and Mikey… then confesses he’d still bang Vanna White.

🥦 The gang revisits foods they hated as kids but love now. Except mushrooms. Mushrooms are still bullshit.

🔄 Can we stop pretending DoorDash is worth it? Mikey goes off on $40 cold Pizza.

🐺 Aliens are watching Earth like it’s a reality show. And season 2025 sucks.

Plus Random thoughts and The Bass Akwards Song game.

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This one hits harder than a rollercoaster duck to the face. The gang fires shots at SeaWorld lawsuits, modern-day radio, and the death of privacy then Mikey drops the most accurate '90s nostalgia banger of all time.

Stroke relives his Jerry Springer trauma, Ian becomes a wet dream, and Jenn freezes like a malfunctioning OnlyFans stream.

Plus, Florida brings us coke-snorting teachers, naked intruders, duck-induced lawsuits, and a dude smashing pumpkins because the internet hurt his feelings.

Also, someone tracked their wife. And it might be legal. What the fuck?

• 🎤 Stroke’s Jerry Springer clip resurfaces—shirtless, pissed, and fully white trash

• 💊 Florida teacher shows up to class on coke, lets kids hit her vape, then sells snacks. Capitalism.

• 💩 Naked Florida man breaks in, poops on patio, writes “blessed and drugs” in shit

• 🤯 Listener confesses to fantasizing about Stroke’s girlfriend (yes, really)

• 🧠 The 90s Breakdown: Mikey’s top 10 list of things Gen Z will never understand

• 🎟️ Real talk about how radio, TV, cartoons, and Taco Bell all went downhill

• 🧑‍⚖️ Legal Q&A with Rick In The Law: Can you track your spouse’s car? What if someone else reports your crime?

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We found out Google thinks our show is about dengue fever and dick rash. That tracks. From there it only gets dumber. This episode has it all: karaoke rage, foot fetish crimes, hangover confessions, and a brand-new Strokeified banger — the Dirt Squirrel National Anthem. Also, someone scheduled sex like it’s a fuckin’ dental cleaning.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

• 🦠 NTDS vs. NTDS — The crew discovers they’re fighting SEO against tropical diseases like “Chagas” and “dungy fever.”

• 🥴 Hangover Jen — Sunglasses, puke bucket, zero regrets.

• 🎤 Karaoke Vigilante Strikes Again — Ian goes full rage-DJ on mic-grabbers and drunk idiots.

• 👠 Shoe Bandits & Butt-Legos — WTF News gets uncomfortably specific.

• 🛏️ Stroke’s 10 Reasons Women Are the Worst

• 📆 Calendar Sex is Real

• 💌 Damn Problems One listener finds out she’s the side chick.

  
  

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The gang returns with another unfiltered round of oversharing — poop confessions, weird hygiene talk, astrology nonsense, and an honest debate about which Halloween candy belongs in hell. Craig’s Lust makes a filthy comeback, someone learns what “sugaring” really means, and it all ends in snacks, shame, and laughter.

💩 Poop stories and post-wipe routines nobody needed.
🧼 The horror of “sugaring” explained in too much detail.
🔮 Astrology talk that goes absolutely nowhere.
🍬 The official Halloween candy tier list gets violent.
🔥 Craig’s Lust returns for another sticky disaster.
🚗 Digital Dumpster Fire: baby, car, chaos.
🍪 Cookie crimes and munchie confessions.

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🚨 Today on America’s Loudest Podcast:

The gang stumbles into Episode 44 speaking fluent sarcasm and zero Gen Alpha. Stroke’s weekend gets torched by a cursed “couples game” suggested by Mikey's wife Mandy, someone’s girlfriend moans the wrong name during sex, and the crew drops a Strokeified banger for the parents — because none of us know what the fuck “6-7-9-11” means.

🚨 This week on America’s Loudest Podcast:

🧠 Jenn drops a Top 10 list of things men do that absolutely suck — and it’s disturbingly accurate.

📞 Voicemail of the Week: Listener Future Steven calls in from the past with a love letter to the show. He’ll hear his own message in like, 15 episodes.

📉 Damn Problems: Can a marriage survive cheating if the cheater’s doing the work but still getting punished every damn day?

😬 Confession: She moaned the wrong name mid-thrust. Real name. Not a dream. What the hell do you even do with that?

📰 WTF News:

• DoorDash driver stabbed by hill people with 7 kids

• AI homeless man prank gets SWAT called

• Japanese dude scams $24K worth of food deliveries using 124 fake accounts

🎧 Game Time: Guess That Sound — is it a cat barfing, a seal mating, or Stroke’s mom farting through a kazoo?

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Today on America’s Loudest Podcast:
The gang blasts into zero gravity sex 🚀, commits mild medical fraud 🏥, and drops a Strokeified power ballad that will ruin your marriage and your soul: “No Wrong Hole.”

⚖️ Rick the Lawyer returns to explain why toothbrush cum might be illegal and how to legally shoot someone in the balls.

🌴 Florida’s got:
• Nut-biting drunks
• AI-generated rape hoaxes
• Cheeseburger assaults
• Beach baby neglect
• And a hooker brawl with dad 😬

📺 Ian ranks the Top 10 TV Theme Songs, and the confessions get real filthy — we’re talking pink eye, tampons, and a possibly radioactive butthole wax.

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The gang slides face-first into Episode 42 with pumpkin patch PTSD, death comets, and two new contenders for the horniest songs of all time. It’s definitely not family-friendly... unless your family’s into docking, vasectomy stories, or Elk Grove Kia jingles.

This week on America’s Loudest Podcast:

• 🎃 Mikey & 2N watch the Goonies in a field of genital-wart-covered pumpkins

• 🍆 2 new Strokeifieds “The Power of My Dick” — a New Dicks on the Block classic & Organic Vagina (nobody asked for this)

• 💚 Damn It Jessica returns with the filthiest song we've ever played

• 🚨 WTF News: Alien motherships, $20K pumpkins, and murder in a Tesla

• 🔥 Breakdown: Top 10 Guitarists of All Time — who made it, who got snubbed, and why Slash deserved better

• 🧼 Smut or What? – Featuring Brazilian massages, anime girls running, desk-humping, and something called “soaking”

• 💌 Damn Problems: Surprise Starbucks ≠ romance. Also, is it your job to rat on your co-worker's cheating wife?

📞 Leave your confession or voicemail at 916-312-DAMN
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🎧 Today on America’s Loudest Podcast, things get uncomfortably hilarious FAST. From thermoses shoved up asses to 100 bloody tampons thrown on a lawn, this episode is equal parts felony and freakshow. This is America, People.. Its not us.

The gang debates:

• What to do if your girl’s OBGYN is a smoke show 👨‍⚕️🔥

• Is it ever okay to NOT tell your spouse about old nudes?

• The Digital Dick of the Week showdown: Notebook Rape Threat Guy vs. Bodybag Halloween Psycho 🎃📓

• A Florida man turns his colon into a coffee thermos ☕️🍑

• Public brawls, dildo poetry, face tattoos, and a full roundup of felons who look like they bathe in meth 🧼🔥

Plus:

• Stroke ranks lowest in a gay dude’s smash list

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After a week off, the NTDS crew limps into episode 40 with questionable energy, AI-generated pussy anthems, and a jingle countdown no one asked for. It’s weird. It’s immature. It’s slightly less terrible.

🎶 Mikey drops two new songs: “The Power of Pussy” (Country vs. Pop). One is giving Reba, the other is giving Kesha on mushrooms. You vote, winner goes on Strokeified Vol. 2.

👩‍🎤 “Girl or Metalhead” returns. The hair is flowing. The confusion is real.

🧠 Jenn delivers WTF News: a murder over not saying thank you, $600K fortune teller scammers, and a serious convo on California’s end-of-life law.

🪞 Stroke is prepping for his Patreon-mandated butthole wax and has officially started mirror reconnaissance.

🎵 The gang breaks down the most brain-destroying jingles of all time... including the return of the Elk Grove Kia earworm.💬

Listener voicemails get roasted. One guy is deeply upset with Mikey. We don’t care.

🗳️ Vote in the Spotify poll: Which Power of Pussy song slaps harder?

This episode of NOT That Damn Show is sponsored by Green Frog Delivery — the only weed delivery service that doesn’t suck.

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