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Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World
Cheryl Pankhurst
131 episodes
2 days ago

http://www.kidsthesedaysbook.com

🛠️ Quick Tips for Parents (Take‑away Action Items)

  1. Start the “Youth‑Engagement Conversation” – Ask your teen: “What part of today felt most alive? What felt like a waste of time?”

  2. Swap “Compliance” for “Co‑Creation” – Re‑frame rules as agreements: “Let’s decide together how we’ll handle homework this week.”

  3. DIY Advocacy – Identify one school policy (e.g., cell‑phone usage) you can discuss with a teacher. Bring a teen‑suggested solution.

  4. Leverage Strengths, Not Labels – If your teen mentions a diagnosis, ask: “What does this tell us about how you learn best?”

  5. Micro‑Disruptions in the Classroom – Encourage teachers (or your own home‑learning) to let students choose one project topic each month.

today we’re stepping directly into a conversation that so many parents whisper about but rarely name out loud: the school system.

 

The one we grew up in.

The one our kids are sitting in right now.

And the one that — for too many teens — simply doesn’t match who they are, how they learn, or what they need to thrive.

 

For decades, we’ve been taught not to question it. But when a system is outdated, when it’s built for a world and a learner that no longer exist… we have to talk about it.

 

And today, we are.

 

I’m joined by Nevin Harper and Will Dobud, authors of the incredible book Kids These Days — a book that doesn’t just diagnose what’s going on with youth, but shines a bright light on the systems shaping them.

 

Together, we’re going to unpack what’s broken, what’s possible, and how every one of us — parents, educators, advocates — can begin disrupting the system in small, meaningful ways.

 

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Parenting
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http://www.kidsthesedaysbook.com

🛠️ Quick Tips for Parents (Take‑away Action Items)

  1. Start the “Youth‑Engagement Conversation” – Ask your teen: “What part of today felt most alive? What felt like a waste of time?”

  2. Swap “Compliance” for “Co‑Creation” – Re‑frame rules as agreements: “Let’s decide together how we’ll handle homework this week.”

  3. DIY Advocacy – Identify one school policy (e.g., cell‑phone usage) you can discuss with a teacher. Bring a teen‑suggested solution.

  4. Leverage Strengths, Not Labels – If your teen mentions a diagnosis, ask: “What does this tell us about how you learn best?”

  5. Micro‑Disruptions in the Classroom – Encourage teachers (or your own home‑learning) to let students choose one project topic each month.

today we’re stepping directly into a conversation that so many parents whisper about but rarely name out loud: the school system.

 

The one we grew up in.

The one our kids are sitting in right now.

And the one that — for too many teens — simply doesn’t match who they are, how they learn, or what they need to thrive.

 

For decades, we’ve been taught not to question it. But when a system is outdated, when it’s built for a world and a learner that no longer exist… we have to talk about it.

 

And today, we are.

 

I’m joined by Nevin Harper and Will Dobud, authors of the incredible book Kids These Days — a book that doesn’t just diagnose what’s going on with youth, but shines a bright light on the systems shaping them.

 

Together, we’re going to unpack what’s broken, what’s possible, and how every one of us — parents, educators, advocates — can begin disrupting the system in small, meaningful ways.

 

Show more...
Parenting
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~127~"Parenting Autistic Teens: Bridge the High‑School‑to‑Adult Gap – Insights with Susan Tatum"
Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World
31 minutes
1 month ago
~127~"Parenting Autistic Teens: Bridge the High‑School‑to‑Adult Gap – Insights with Susan Tatum"

Why Susan’s Mission Matters

  • 30 years in physical therapy → single mom of an autistic daughter → retired to focus on elevating autism families.
  • Believes “we all rise together”; every piece of the support puzzle matters.

The “Abyss” Explained

  • Chronological age ≠ developmental age; a 17‑year‑old may function at a 13‑14 level.
  • After graduation, structured school supports (IEPs, schedules, bells) disappear, leaving parents to rebuild the framework from scratch.

Start Planning in Middle School

  • Shift from “survive today” to “prepare for tomorrow.”
  • Early conversation prevents last‑minute scrambling for services.

Three Must‑Do Actions for Parents of 8th‑Graders

  1. Ask “Why?” – Clarify the purpose behind every skill (e.g., budgeting, measuring discounts).
  2. Identify Functional Goals – Focus on real‑world tasks rather than abstract academic benchmarks.
  3. Map Interests to Opportunities – Turn a hobby (e.g., fishing, chess, art) into a pathway for employment or volunteer work.

Social‑Skill Strategies

  • Encourage participation in clubs, ROTC, or interest‑based groups to create a sense of belonging.
  • If a club doesn’t exist, create one (e.g., a student‑run chess club).

Behavior ≠ Manipulation

  • Use visual cues (color‑coded post‑its, timers, charts) to teach self‑regulation.
  • Teach children to communicate needs through simple signals instead of “behaving out.”

The “Swiss‑Cheese” Planning Model

  • Every child’s support plan has unique “holes.”
  • Custom‑tailor accommodations; avoid one‑size‑fits‑all templates.

Finding & Securing Resources

  • Network relentlessly – other parents are often the fastest source of up‑to‑date info on vouchers, housing, and programs.
  • Example resources mentioned:
    • Special‑needs housing vouchers (VA) – limited and appear sporadically.
    • “Surfer’s Healing” (free surf therapy for autistic youth on the Atlantic coast).
    • State‑by‑state resource directories (in development on Susan’s website).

Next Steps for Parents

  • Build a local or online parent support group.
  • Track deadlines for vouchers and program openings.
  • Use visual tools (post‑its, timers) to embed daily routines.

Call to Action

  • Free 30‑minute Clarity Call with Cheryl (Insight to Impact Coaching) – book now to map your teen’s transition plan.
  • Download the “Transition Tracker” PDF (goal‑setting, budgeting, daily schedule templates) – available in the show notes.
  • Join the “Parents of Teens on the Spectrum” Facebook Group for real‑time support and resource alerts.

Susan Tatem is the founder and CEO of Bright Path 4 Autism, an autism advocate, coach, speaker, international bestselling author, TV host (Puzzled Parents), and YouTuber (@PuzzledParentsUnlocked). Drawing on nearly 30 years in healthcare and her lived experience raising her daughter with autism, she transforms parents of kids with autism from overwhelm and

Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

http://www.kidsthesedaysbook.com

🛠️ Quick Tips for Parents (Take‑away Action Items)

  1. Start the “Youth‑Engagement Conversation” – Ask your teen: “What part of today felt most alive? What felt like a waste of time?”

  2. Swap “Compliance” for “Co‑Creation” – Re‑frame rules as agreements: “Let’s decide together how we’ll handle homework this week.”

  3. DIY Advocacy – Identify one school policy (e.g., cell‑phone usage) you can discuss with a teacher. Bring a teen‑suggested solution.

  4. Leverage Strengths, Not Labels – If your teen mentions a diagnosis, ask: “What does this tell us about how you learn best?”

  5. Micro‑Disruptions in the Classroom – Encourage teachers (or your own home‑learning) to let students choose one project topic each month.

today we’re stepping directly into a conversation that so many parents whisper about but rarely name out loud: the school system.

 

The one we grew up in.

The one our kids are sitting in right now.

And the one that — for too many teens — simply doesn’t match who they are, how they learn, or what they need to thrive.

 

For decades, we’ve been taught not to question it. But when a system is outdated, when it’s built for a world and a learner that no longer exist… we have to talk about it.

 

And today, we are.

 

I’m joined by Nevin Harper and Will Dobud, authors of the incredible book Kids These Days — a book that doesn’t just diagnose what’s going on with youth, but shines a bright light on the systems shaping them.

 

Together, we’re going to unpack what’s broken, what’s possible, and how every one of us — parents, educators, advocates — can begin disrupting the system in small, meaningful ways.