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Patterns of Possibility
Coach Lee Hopkins
242 episodes
15 hours ago
If you're a late-identified autistic (or suspecting) adult who feels disconnected at work, drained by socializing, or tired of masking to be accepted, this podcast is for you. Hosted by Coach Lee Hopkins, an autistic transman and social connections coach, each episode delivers honest insights and practical tools to help you unmask, set boundaries, and build real relationships that don’t cost your identity. New episodes drop every Tuesday.
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Self-Improvement
Education
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All content for Patterns of Possibility is the property of Coach Lee Hopkins and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
If you're a late-identified autistic (or suspecting) adult who feels disconnected at work, drained by socializing, or tired of masking to be accepted, this podcast is for you. Hosted by Coach Lee Hopkins, an autistic transman and social connections coach, each episode delivers honest insights and practical tools to help you unmask, set boundaries, and build real relationships that don’t cost your identity. New episodes drop every Tuesday.
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Self-Improvement
Education
Episodes (20/242)
Patterns of Possibility
Why Your Boundaries Keep Backfiring

People hear a “rule” when you meant a boundary. And you know what they say, “Rules are made to be broken.”

When you set rules, you don’t get respect, you get retaliation.

And suddenly you’re defending yourself for trying to protect your own energy.


Join us for ongoing Patterns of Possibility community events:

→ Open Coaching - 2nd + 4th Saturdays

→ Structured Social Hour - Last Sundays

→ CEOS Business Networking - First Thursdays

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events

#autism #emotionalintelligence #boundaries

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2 weeks ago
18 minutes 26 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
They Call You Negative Because You Notice

Most people fear those who seem to notice everything.

Join us for ongoing Patterns of Possibility community events:

→ Open Coaching - 2nd + 4th Saturdays

→ Structured Social Hour - Last Sundays

→ CEOS Business Networking - First Thursdays

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events


#autism #emotionalintelligence #discernment

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3 weeks ago
20 minutes 54 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
The Three Things That Identify “Your People”

You can’t find “your people?”

It’s probably because you don’t know what to look for.

This episode is about reclaiming your light and understanding the three parts of yourself that if you share, it’ll help you recognize that you’re with “your people”.


Join us for ongoing Patterns of Possibility community events:

→ Open Coaching - 2nd + 4th Saturdays

→ Structured Social Hour - Last Sundays

→ CEOS Business Networking - First Thursdays

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events


#autism #emotionalintelligence #loneliness

Show more...
1 month ago
19 minutes 18 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
What If You’re Not a Fraud After All?

If you’ve ever thought, “I’m a fraud for struggling while everyone else seems fine,” this episode is for you.


We’ll unpack how shame convinces you that being human is failure when you’re actually pretty awesome.


Join us for ongoing Patterns of Possibility community events:

→ Open Coaching - 2nd + 4th Saturdays

→ Structured Social Hour - Last Sundays

→ CEOS Business Networking - First Thursdays

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events


#autism #emotionalintelligence

Show more...
1 month ago
16 minutes 30 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
Stay Calm When They Push Every Button

This week on the Patterns of Possibility Podcast, I talk about something so many late-diagnosed autistic adults face during the holidays: how to stay calm when they push every button.

If you’ve ever felt dismissed, talked over, or treated like the “old you,” this one is for you.

Join us for ongoing Patterns of Possibility community events:
→ Open Coaching - 2nd + 4th Saturdays
→ Structured Social Hour - Last Sundays
→ CEOS Business Networking - First Thursdays

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events


#holidays #autism #emotionallyimatureparents


Show more...
1 month ago
18 minutes 44 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
Finding Your Way to Be Heard

What if real-time conversation feels like too much?


Or if texting feels too distant?


In this episode, we unpack how to choose the method that actually supports your nervous system and gets your message across.


---------

📣 Going home for the holidays? Join the "Surviving Family Season Workshop" and get tips on how to stay regulated during gatherings that test your patience. 

Tuesday November 11 at 6pm CST.

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events


Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics.

Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage


#holidays #autism #emotionallyimatureparents

Show more...
1 month ago
16 minutes 55 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
The Emotionally Immature Parent Trap

Ever feel like you’re the adult in every conversation with your parent?

You try to connect, but somehow you end up apologizing for having feelings at all.In this episode we'll talk about how cycle starts, why it feels impossible to “get through” to them, and how to step out of the trap with clarity and calm boundaries.

---------📣 Going home for the holidays? Join the "Surviving Family Season Workshop" and get tips on how to stay regulated during gatherings that test your patience. 

Tuesday November 11 at 6pm CST.

Register here: www.patternsofpossibility.com/events

Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics.

Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage


#holidays #autism #emotionallyimatureparents

Show more...
1 month ago
17 minutes 27 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
How to Be Known Without Explaining Yourself

You faked your friendships? So what.


You learned how to survive by reading the room, by translating yourself, and pretending to fit in.



But now you're tired of pretending. You’d rather be alone than explain your every thought or force another fake laugh.

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.


We’ll explore why connection can feel like work and how to stop doing all the heavy lifting just to feel alone anyway.

#fakefriendships #vulnerability #lateidentifiedautistic


Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics. Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage

Show more...
2 months ago
14 minutes 57 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
When Being Seen Feels Dangerous

We all want to be understood but for some of us, visibility has never felt safe.

When your honesty has been met with rejection or ridicule, staying hidden feels like your only option.


In this week’s episode of the Patterns of Possibility Podcast, I talk about the fear of being seen, where it comes from, and how to move toward connection at your own pace.


#LateDiagnosedAutistic #Fear #Vulnerability


Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics. Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage

Show more...
2 months ago
16 minutes 1 second

Patterns of Possibility
The Trick Narcissists Don’t Want You to See

Speaking with narcissists is an exercise in patience and emotional intelligence.

But really, they just have one playbook. (And it's lame.)

Once you learn their pattern and have the right tools, it's yours to disrupt.



Watch the video: Why you keep trusting the wrong people.

https://youtu.be/EA2LXcLJYJ8


#LateDiagnosedAutistic #Intuition #Narcissists


Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics. Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage



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2 months ago
13 minutes 32 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
The Shame Hiding Inside Your "Shoulds"

To live your best most authentic life, any idea of what you should be has to go!


If you’re struggling with people-pleasing, guilt after saying no, or constantly questioning what’s “wrong” with you for wanting something different, this episode is for you.

#LateDiagnosedAutistic #Shame #Guilt


Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics. Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage

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2 months ago
20 minutes 8 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
When Their Questions Aren't Really Questions

99% of Autistic people learn the hard way...

Some questions aren’t really questions.

You answer them honestly, only to realize that the person wasn’t looking for data at all.

They wanted reassurance, connection, or compliance.

And now you’re left feeling awkward, tricked, or even ashamed for “getting it wrong.”

It’s frustrating.


If you’re struggling with hidden meanings in conversation this episode is for you.

#LateDiagnosedAutistic #HealthyBoundaries #AuthenticRelationships


Connect with deeply with other late identified autistics. Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage

Show more...
3 months ago
21 minutes 48 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
The Trap of Becoming the Caretaker

You’ve done the work. You’ve healed, unmasked, and started seeing your old patterns clearly.

But you keep running into versions of your past self.

It’s tempting to want to “help” them but if you pour everything that you have into them, you’ll have nothing for yourself.

Let’s talk about how not to fall into the trap of becoming the caretaker.


#LateDiagnosedAutistic #HealthyBoundaries #AuthenticRelationships


Want meaningful relationships? Join my community.

https://patternsofpossibility.circle.so/homepage


Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

Two-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.


You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.


There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.


There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.

Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


Show more...
3 months ago
22 minutes 51 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
Everyone Knows. No One Says Anything.

In families, friend groups, even workplaces, people hide conflict and pain “under the rug.”


Everything looks fine, until you notice it. And when you stumble over the lump, suddenly you’re the problem for pointing it out.


It’s exhausting.


If you’re struggling with walking on eggshells, being called “too sensitive,” or carrying the weight of secrets you didn’t create, this episode is for you.


Listen to learn how to protect your peace in these spaces.

#LateDiagnosedAutistic #HealthyBoundaries #AuthenticRelationships


Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

Two-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.


You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.


There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.


There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.

Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Show more...
3 months ago
24 minutes 57 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
Stop Playing Their Game

Most people are playing a game you never agreed to. The rules keep changing, the players cheat, and somehow you’re the one who looks wrong for not keeping up.

It’s exhausting.

If you’re struggling with constant misunderstandings, pretending to fit in, or the loneliness of walking away, this episode is for you.


#LateDiagnosedAutistic #HealthyBoundaries #AuthenticRelationships


Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

Two-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.


You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.


There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.


There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.

Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Show more...
3 months ago
15 minutes 47 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
Being Alone Is Growth

Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s how autistic adults discover their true selves. Coach Lee Hopkins explains how boundaries accelerate growth, why choosing to be alone is different from loneliness, and three questions that help you build authentic relationships without masking.

#LateDiagnosedAutistic #HealthyBoundaries #AuthenticRelationships



Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

Two-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.


You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.


There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.


There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.

Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Show more...
4 months ago
24 minutes 46 seconds

Patterns of Possibility
Why Small Talk Feels So Irritating

You speak to share or receive useful information.

So when someone asks, “How was your weekend?” your brain looks for purpose.

If there’s no shared understanding, the exchange feels like noise.

When you know your purpose in a conversation, you feel less drained and more confident.

If you’ve ever shut down mid-chat or wondered why casual talk feels like wasted energy, this episode is for you.


Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

It's a free, 2-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.


You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.


There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.


There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.


Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

  • #smalltalk #latediagnosedautistic #relationships

  • Show more...
    4 months ago
    20 minutes 1 second

    Patterns of Possibility
    When It’s Manipulation, Not Misunderstanding

    This week’s podcast is for anyone who keeps second-guessing whether they misread the situation or whether they’re being manipulated.


    If you’ve ever had your words twisted, been left out of the loop, or felt guilty for saying no, this episode is for you.


    We’ll talk about three clear signs it’s manipulation and not just a misunderstanding, how narcissistic behavior shows up in everyday interactions, and what you can do to protect your boundaries without losing yourself.

    Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


    Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

    It's a free, 2-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.


    You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.


    There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.


    There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.


    Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.

  • #Manipulation #Misunderstanding #Boundaries #Gaslighting

  • Show more...
    4 months ago
    24 minutes 52 seconds

    Patterns of Possibility
    5 Ways to Stop Carrying Everyone’s Stress

    This week’s podcast is for anyone who walks away from conversations feeling tense and drained. If one text, one tone of voice, or one last-minute change can throw you off for hours, this episode is for you. We’ll talk about five simple ways to protect your energy without becoming a different person.

    Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


    Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

    It's a free, 2-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.

    You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.

    There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.

    There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.

    Join us at ⁠⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠⁠.

    #autisticadult #unmasking #latediagnosedautistic #friends

    Show more...
    4 months ago
    18 minutes 22 seconds

    Patterns of Possibility
    Will This Get Me Uninvited Next Time?

    This week’s podcast explores when getting invited to a social gathering sends you into a spiral of self-doubt and uncertainty. If you overthink what to bring, worry about being judged, and feel like every social moment is a test you didn’t study for, this episode is for you.


    Want meaningful relationships? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.


    Grab your spot at the Social Connections Summit!

    It's a free, 2-day virtual event happening September 24 and 25.

    You’ll hear from late-identified Autistic, AuDHD, and ADHD professionals who’ve lived your experience and from leaders and allies who are ready to learn with care, not guilt.

    There are short talks, real strategies, and honest stories that meet you where you are.

    There’ll be giveaways, special bonuses for those who invite others, and full access to replays—so don’t sweat it if you can’t make it live.

    Join us at ⁠⁠www.socialconnectionssummit.com⁠⁠.

    #autisticadult #unmasking #latediagnosedautistic #friends

    Show more...
    5 months ago
    21 minutes 43 seconds

    Patterns of Possibility
    If you're a late-identified autistic (or suspecting) adult who feels disconnected at work, drained by socializing, or tired of masking to be accepted, this podcast is for you. Hosted by Coach Lee Hopkins, an autistic transman and social connections coach, each episode delivers honest insights and practical tools to help you unmask, set boundaries, and build real relationships that don’t cost your identity. New episodes drop every Tuesday.