When we're in the thick of navigating non-monogamy, especially in the early stages, it can feel like an endless emotional workout. The jealousy, the NRE highs and lows, the constant communication—it's a lot! Many people wonder if it will ever get easier or if this constant state of emotional processing is just what non-monogamy is all about.
The good news? It absolutely can become more easeful! In this episode, we explore what "boring polyamory" might look like and why it might actually be a good fit for you. We challenge the assumption that non-monogamy must be inherently harder than monogamy and offer practical insights for creating more sustainable, grounded relationships.
We’re breaking down:
— The difference between "easy" and "easeful" in relationships
— How we often mistake intensity for intimacy, and why that keeps us locked in drama cycles
— The ways we unconsciously validate our non-monogamy by staying in turbulence and conflict
— Why the premise that "monogamy is easier" is a harmful myth that keeps us stuck
— How our nervous system awareness directly impacts our capacity for easeful relationships
— The drama triangle and how it keeps us locked in unhealthy patterns
— The importance of making implicit expectations explicit through clear agreements
— Creating micro-spaces for reconnection and communication in your relationships
— Why familiar patterns will win out over healthy ones (and what to do about it)
— How to identify what a week of calm, fulfilling polyamory would look like for you
Resources mentioned in this episode:
— Our Drama Triangle episode
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Music: Dance of Felt by Blue Dot Sessions