Send us a text KFC Christmas, Home Alone Conspiracies, & Seriously.., WTF is Kwanzaa? This episode is basically what happens when you lock two grown men in a room with Christmas spirit, internet access, and absolutely no adult supervision. We spiral from Japan apparently treating KFC like holy communion on Christmas, to Chick‑fil‑A setting the global standard for customer service, to Chris discovering you can schedule texts like it’s brand-new witchcraft. Somewhere in there, we calc...

Send us a text Bezos Island, Nudist Colonies, & Panic at Panera If you've ever asked yourself, “What do Confucius, naked people, masturbating hobos, and Jeff Bezos ghost challenges have in common?” …welcome to the only podcast dumb enough to answer that question. In this episode of Pour Choices Show, the boys dig into some real philosophical brain benders—like whether Bingo was the farmer or the dog, why the alphabet is in that weird-ass order, and if Netflix is about to turn Harry Potter...

Send us a text Blood, Bischoff & the $35K Cosplay This week’s episode is basically a wrestling fan fever dream, because Glacier himself crashes the show — yes, the man with the $500,000 entrance, the $35,000 armor, and the coldest gimmick WCW ever attempted without getting sued by Mortal Kombat. The ice melts immediately when he tells us about a little kid’s priceless reaction to meeting Glacier in the wild, then we hit him with a game of “Is It True?” where we fact check his Wikipedia en...

Send us a text Beethoven’s Mom, Bill Belichick’s Game Ball, & Air Jesus’ Oh, you thought this episode was going to be classy? Adorable. Instead, the guys open with a theological deep dive into whether Jesus should replace Jordan on sneakers — because nothing says “WWJD” like dunking on Satan in a pair of crucifixion 11s. From there, it spirals into the usual chaos: heated debates over which floor surface will skin your thighs faster, existential Waffle House conference realignments,...

Send us a text Cranberry Lies, Toe Woes, & Couch Bros Thanksgiving may be about gratitude, family, and carbs... but this episode? This episode is about broken toes, cranberry lies, and the kind of courtroom dialogue that somehow aired on cable without triggering an FCC raid. David and Chris come in hot, starting with a Harry Potter stand-up clip that immediately gets Avada Roasted into oblivion. Then it's off the rails into Thanksgiving chaos: what even is cranberry “sauce”? Why do rolls ...

Send us a text Pumice Stones, Purple Poop, and Power Rangers PTSD Nothing says "holiday spirit" like putting your tree up in early November and scouring your toilet bowl like it personally wronged you. Chris is already in full Christmas mode (despite still having broken toes), while David discovers the magical power of pumice stones—and unfortunately, the side effects of ube pancakes. Spoiler: Barney-colored diapers. We tackle the truly important questions: What Harry Potter spell would you a...

Send us a text Gay-bors, Glitter Bombs, and Goliath Regret This week’s episode is like if a Hallmark Christmas special did ayahuasca in a Walmart parking lot. David’s out here befriending his new gay-bors while trick-or-treating like a wholesome sitcom dad, and Chris realizes—live on air—that he bought a set of glitter-covered ornaments and basically nuked his entire living room in fairy dust. Meanwhile, both of them are already deep into the Christmas spirit like they’ve never met Nove...

Send us a text CJ Khaled, Prosthetic Stats & Reverse Exorcisms Welcome to another episode of Pour Choices, where the IQ drops faster than Chris’s Amazon delivery success rate. We kick things off with a very adult discussion about drunken pants-peeing (spoiler: it’s happened), then dive headfirst into the theology of Chris’s fake conversion to Islam — shoutout to our boy CJ Khaled. Meanwhile, David’s asking the real DMV questions: if you’ve got no legs, does your license still say you’re 6...

Send us a text Honestly, Does Anyone Like Candy Corn? In this spooky-season fever dream of an episode, the boys tackle all the hard-hitting Halloween topics — like which traumatic childhood moment still keeps them up at night, which celebrity is shockingly Jewish, and what they'd do if locked in a windowless time prison with a $10 million payout on the line (spoiler: lose track of time around day four and cry into the wall). We also break down M. Night Shyamalan's cinematic scam of a career (...

Send us a text Million Dollar Challenges, Ant Wars, and Apocalyptic Activities What do twin babies born during Daylight Saving Time, a $1 million survival challenge, and your dog’s inner monologue all have in common? Absolutely nothing—just like the rest of this episode. This week, the boys dive headfirst into society’s dumbest debates and come out dumber for it. We kick off with time-traveling twins, cemetery etiquette for your wives, and Would You Rather scenarios that could get you cancele...

Send us a text Prehistoric Conspiracies, Fiber Fails & Jerry’s Finger This week on The Pour Choices Show, we start strong with a theory that would make your high school science teacher quit mid-semester — what if the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs was actually a UFO... and we’re the aliens? Yeah, buckle up, Neil deGrasse Ty-slow. From there, we spiral into chaos like usual: Fiber One missed a marketing slam dunk by not being called Fiber Two. DoorDash Duels — imagine every dri...

Send us a text Voldemort, Cataracts, and Condiment Controversies You know it’s going to be a Pour Choices kind of episode when Chris kicks things off by rage-venting about his Toyota dealership trauma like it’s a hostage negotiation. From there, things only get dumber: we ask the hard-hitting questions like can orphans eat at family restaurants, whether weather forecasts are legally binding if the weatherman has cataracts, and if putting mustard on eggs makes you a criminal. Then it’s time fo...

Send us a text Turn the Air Down, Flush the Truth Away This episode is like watching two drunk uncles argue in a Buffalo Wild Wings, except instead of wings you get 11 hours of Chris waiting for a car dealership to remember he exists. From there we spiral into life’s biggest mysteries: why we wash towels that only ever touch our allegedly clean bodies, why “boxing rings” are basically just angry squares, and how the hell a triple amputee claps (spoiler: it’s dark, don’t ask). We also put Davi...

Send us a text R.I.P. Charlie Kirk This episode is basically a fever dream wrapped in a podcast. We start with the tragic passing of Charlie Kirk before diving into immortality that sounds more like a punishment, limb-swapping for potato tubes, and sitcom catchphrases that’ll guarantee nobody ever invites you to Thanksgiving again. Strap in. There’s no moral lesson. Just vibes, carnage, and whatever the hell David’s daughter keeps ordering on Amazon. Death, Taxes, & …Immortality? What if ...

Send us a text And On The 4th Day… What do you get when you mix peanut allergies, blind-ranking assassinations, and a spontaneous TED Talk on relativity? An episode of Pour Choices that goes from biblical confusion to dad-core drafts in under 60 minutes. This one has it all: unsolicited parenting overlap, bald man identity crises, and a terrifying new idea—what if every time you ate, something somewhere was just… yeeted? Let’s unpack this existential casserole: 🐺 Dads, Drafts & Deep Thoug...

Send us a text You Haven’t Forgotten Yet, Have You? This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re asking the important questions—like what if cows ran the government? What if birds had Wi-Fi? And what if you recorded a 9/11 episode from the cockpit of a plane? We kick things off with: 🧠 Avril Lavigne isn’t real – and we’ve got just enough fake evidence to believe it 📦 Amazon should sell lottery tickets – because if they’re gonna control our lives, they might as well make us billionaires ...

Send us a text Missing Bananas, Fantasy Football Names, & Vigilante Justice This week on The Pour Choices Show, we unlock a new marketing strategy so diabolical, it could only come from two guys who once debated the ethics of pushing a corpse down a slide: Hijack Airbnb’s and log them into our YouTube. That’s not a joke. That’s a call to action. From there, we spiral gloriously into the dumbest smart conversations imaginable: 🍓 What’s the greatest Pop-Tart flavor? (And why is your ...

Send us a text Dead Weight, Sack Talk, & Definitely NOT “Bottomless” Margaritas This week on The Pour Choices Show, Chris is beefing with another neighbor over a misdelivered package, David ponders whether a sack is a vessel for goods or just a body bag with branding, and somehow we end up debating whether to respectfully carry a dead man—or just send him down the slide one last time for the boys. We kick off the descent into madness with: 📦 Chris’s Delivery Debacle: Part Inf...

Send us a text More Bags Than Michael Kors & Other HR Violations Chris and David are back with another episode that would definitely get them fired from any respectable workplace. These two walking liability cases tackle everything from foot-breathing to inanimate object marriages with the professionalism of drunk teenagers. Buckle up for conversations your HR department would use as training materials for "what not to say at work." What You're Getting Into: 👜 “More bags than Beyoncé” vs....

Send us a text Boat Days, Beer Math & Finger Fountains This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re pouring drinks, pouring nostalgia, and pouring way too much thought into whether our skin is gaslighting us about prunes. We kick things off with: 🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices – liquid courage before questionable opinions 🏈 Chris officially declares himself an Ohio State fan solely because his girlfriend is. (We’re not saying he’s whipped, but…) 🫠 The Prune Conspiracy: if they’re just dried p...