In this episode, Jamie and Miel dive into the nuances of consent, focusing on the FRIES acronym to help understand its components: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific. The conversation emphasizes the importance of ongoing consent and how it applies in various kink contexts.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
Takeaways
Consent must be ongoing and reversible.
Informed consent is crucial in all interactions.
FRIES helps simplify understanding of consent.
Reversibility is a key aspect of consent.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
On this episode of 'Probing in the Sheets,' hosts Miel and Jamie explore the concept of 'frenzy' within the kink community, discussing its implications for both submissives and dominants. They delve into the emotional and psychological aspects of frenzy, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, boundaries, and communication. The hosts share personal experiences and grounding techniques to help listeners navigate their own journeys in kink safely and joyfully.
Takeaways
Frenzy is a natural part of the kink journey, not a one-time event.
Both submissives and dominants can experience frenzy, each with unique challenges.
Boundaries and agreements help maintain safety and joy in kink.
Frenzy can lead to self-abandonment if not checked.
Unchecked frenzy can attract predators; community support is key.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
Right on the heels of the Climax Conference, Jamie and Miel dive into a very important topic that was brought forward during the inaugural conference.
This episode delves into the art of negotiation, emphasizing its dynamic nature and how it can be adapted to various situations. The discussion highlights the importance of planning and thinking strategically, with insights into somatics and the role they play in negotiations to achieve successful outcomes.
Takeaways
Negotiation is a living, adaptable process.
Communication is key in negotiations.
Somatics can influence negotiation strategies.
Effective negotiation involves continuous learning.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
In this episode of 'Probing in the Sheets,' hosts Miel and Jamie delve into the complexities of breakups within the kink and BDSM community. They explore the emotional depth of relationships, the concept of intensity bonding, and the importance of self-care and healing. The conversation touches on the societal norms of relationships, the beauty of evolving connections, and the courage to choose oneself amidst loss and grief.
Takeaways
Intensity bonding is a unique aspect of BDSM relationships.
Choosing oneself is crucial for personal well-being.
Friendship breakups can be as impactful as romantic ones.
Societal norms don't define the value of a relationship.
Self-love is the foundation of all relationships.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
In this episode of 'Probing in the Sheets,' hosts Miel and Jamie delve into the intricate dynamics of trust within the kink and BDSM community. They explore the importance of self-trust, the role of communication in building trust with partners, and how it can transform personal relationships. The conversation also touches on the concept of self-abandonment, the impact of trauma, and the journey towards radical self-love.
Learn More About Dr. Gabor Maté
Takeaways
Self-abandonment often stems from fear of external abandonment.
Trauma can cloud judgment and affect trust.
Radical self-love is essential for personal growth.
Trust in BDSM requires clear boundaries and safe words.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃
In this episode, hosts Miel and Jamie delve into the intriguing concept of embracing one's villains within the context of kink and BDSM. They discuss the power and liberation found in acknowledging and integrating darker aspects of you, and how this can lead to a more authentic and whole human experience. The conversation touches on manipulation, consent, and the balance between light and dark energies, offering listeners a thought-provoking exploration of self-acceptance and personal growth.
Key Takeaways:
Embrace your shadow side for a more authentic self.
Villains can teach us about our own power.
Consent is crucial in exploring darker desires.
Villainous traits can be empowering when embraced.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
In this episode of 'Probing in the Sheets,' hosts Miel and Jamie delve into the intricate world of boundaries within BDSM and relationships. They explore the importance of understanding and setting personal boundaries, the difference between boundaries and rules, and how clear communication can enhance trust and intimacy. Through personal anecdotes and insightful discussions, they emphasize the significance of respecting each other's needs and the role of consent in maintaining healthy dynamics.
Takeaways
Boundaries are about self-control, not controlling others.
Boundaries are not walls; they are fences that protect and define personal space.
Misusing the term 'boundary' can lead to manipulation.
Boundaries in BDSM require clear communication and consent.
Understanding personal boundaries is key to personal growth.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
In this episode of "Probing in the Sheets," hosts Miel and Jamie explore spicing up one's life, both in relationships and personal growth. They discuss the importance of self-discovery, embracing desires, and the impact of stepping out of comfort zones. The conversation touches on the significance of negotiation, the role of emotions in personal exploration, and the ripple effect of pursuing one's true desires.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
In this episode, Miel and Jamie delve into the concept of 'drop' in the kink community, exploring its emotional and physical impacts. They discuss personal experiences, the importance of communication, and the role of rest and self-care in navigating drop. The conversation highlights the human experience of emotions and the transformative power of vulnerability and connection.
Takeaways
It's easier to identify and go through a drop than to resist it.
Rest and self-care are essential in managing drop.
Drop can affect both submissives and dominants.
Vulnerability during drop can lead to deeper connections.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
IG @walkerxoxo
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
IG @daddy.miel
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
In the latest episode of Probing In The Sheets, Miel and Jamie are on location at a kink event in Southern Ontario. In this discussion they cover the camp's vibrant atmosphere, the importance of discernment in the kink community, and how to find and navigate events like Camp. Sharing personal experiences and insights into the kink lifestyle, emphasizing the value of learning from mistakes and the power of community.
Takeaways
Discernment is crucial when entering the kink community.
Finding the right events can be challenging but rewarding.
FetLife is a valuable resource for discovering kink events.
It's important to find what feels right for you in the kink space.
The kink community is diverse and welcoming.
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
This week, Jamie and Miel dive into the complexities of attachment styles within kink relationships, discussing personal experiences and insights into how these dynamics play out in BDSM and alternative lifestyles. The conversation delves into the challenges and healing potential of non-monogamy, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and personal growth.
Further Reading:
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, By Jessica Fern
Attachment Styles in Dom/sub Dynamics
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.
Key Episode Takeaways
Understanding primal panic versus jealousy is crucial in non-monogamous relationships.
BDSM can be a healing space for exploring attachment styles.
Self-awareness is key to navigating complex relationship dynamics.
Personal stories highlight the journey of embracing non-monogamy.
In this first episode of Probing In The Sheets, Miel and Jamie explore the heart of why they built this podcast, rooted in pleasure activism and the pivotal work done by Adrienne Maree Brown. Celebrate with our hosts as they discuss themes of pleasure is rebellious and rest is resistance, woven into the topics of kink and BDSM.
Follow Adreinne Maree Brown on Instagram @adriennemareebrown
Continue Deepening Your Knowledge
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good - By Adrienne Maree Brown
Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto - By Tricia Hersey
Contact us @ probinginthesheets@gmail.com
About Miel
Miel (they/them) is the visionary President and CEO of Probe Ottawa. As a nonbinary queer human, Miel is dedicated to cultivating an inclusive and accessible community rooted in respect and vulnerability. To Miel, kink is not only an exploration of desire, but also a deeply political act of pleasure activism that challenges societal norms and embraces the beauty and mess of human connection. They believe that pleasure is an inherent right and that diverse expressions of intimacy can provide the rich soil for healing and liberation to grow in.
About Jamie
As a Kink & Life Coach, Jamie (she/her) helps her clients navigate the desirable world of BDSM and kink, with safety education, and tools to connect to the deepest parts of themselves. The parts that the world has said to keep hidden. Through her personal journey, and coaching others, she understands that this is key in stepping into our individual power, and crafting the life we truly desire. Authentic connection and play are vital to us as humans, BDSM and kink gives you the container to explore, learn and create — and positively impacts the rest of your life.
About Probe Ottawa
Ottawa’s private members club — a sanctuary where individuals of all gender and orientations can embrace their true selves without fear or judgment. Nestled in the heart of the Byward Market of Ottawa this haven is where the boundaries of pleasure and self-discovery are pushed, empowering attendees to embrace their desires and unlock their inner strength.