We pick up where things got gloriously unhinged: Eve gives birth and the kid stands up and sprints off like the Gingerbread Man. Yes, still canon in this wild text. From there, the hosts unpack why the scene mentions “twelve angels and two virtues” (no, not moral traits—an angelic rank), then riff on hierarchy, bowing, and celestial office politics. It’s irreverent, nerdy, and exactly the kind of Pseudepigrapha detour we live for.

Adam then launches into a sweeping prophecy dump—Temple, dispersion, rinse, repeat—while Michael taps the water with a rod and freezes it like he’s cosplaying Elsa to shuttle Adam around. Meanwhile, Seth volunteers to go beg at the Garden gate for fruit (again), and the roomful of Adam’s descendants—25,000 men—collectively struggle with the concept of… pain. (“What is pain, Father? I am ignorant.” Same, buddy.)

Along the way, the hosts call out the text’s women-are-the-problem vibe, the backfilled “prophecies,” and the sheer comedy of a thousand-year-old patriarch lecturing his gigantically multiplied brood about mortality while they propose “get more forbidden fruit” as a pain management plan. Peak Bible logic.

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📌 Topics Covered:

• Sprinting baby Cain hands Mom a blade of grass—because sure, why not.
• What “virtues” actually are (angel ranks, not good habits).
• Michael’s freeze-spell water bridge and Adam’s prophecy monologue.
• 25,000 sons assemble; still no one knows what pain is.
• Seth’s “uh, want me to get forbidden fruit again?” plan.
• The text’s misogyny and the hosts’ eye-rolls at angelic chain-of-command.

💬 Best Quote from the Episode:

“Remember she had the baby and it got up and ran away.”

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