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The Pentadouche has left the building. In this episode, Husband and Wife finally wrap up the Pentateuch recap with a snark-fueled episode of Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy—aka: laws, body fluids, desert whining, and Moses talking forever and then dying offstage. They walk through the supposed timelines, from a one-month law-dump at Sinai to 40 years of sand-filled tantrums, to Moses’ final “please don’t screw this up” speeches on the plains of Moab.
Along the way they roast priestly rulebooks, divine murder over “strange fire,” the scapegoat ritual, talking donkeys, socialist-sounding Jubilee laws, and the Deuteronomistic editors stapling this all together centuries later in the Babylonian exile. Then it all swerves straight into modern politics: Trump, the Epstein list, Megyn Kelly downplaying assault, and why American Christian nationalism feels a lot like choosing the “Nazi side” of the Bible on purpose.
If you like your Bible study with F-bombs, historical context, and zero reverence, this one’s your jam. Listen, rage, laugh, and then come yell about it with the rest of us heathens.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“The thing is, is the whole thing is full of bullshit. So if you're gonna cherry pick, why would you on purpose cherry pick the Nazi side, the bad guy side, the losing side?”
🔗 Don’t forget:
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Moses gets a glow-up, Pharaoh gets the ick, and we get pedantic about timelines. In this one, we blitz from the patriarchs (Abraham → Isaac → Jacob → Joseph) to the start of Exodus—with a detour through Job (aka “God took a dare and your kids paid for it”) and two juicy side texts: Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs and the Book of Jubilees. We drag the “430 vs. 400 years in Egypt” math fight, list out the Ten Plagues (gnats that probably weren’t fruit flies, boils, darkness, dead firstborn—fun!), and side-eye how Passover gets reframed in modern practice.
Then we crack open the Apocrypha-adjacent goodies: Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs (the “deathbed confessions + prophecies” expansion pack slotted after Genesis 49) and Jubilees, which claims angels explained world history to Moses in tidy 49-year “jubilee” chunks during his 40 days on Sinai—because what the Torah really needed was… a showrunner’s timeline board and stricter Sabbath law before the law. Chef’s kiss.
Also: the hosts spiral (hilariously) about poverty shaming, “get a job” brain, and how Christianity’s many add-on myths make it impossible to say what “the Bible really teaches.” Bring your side-eye and a measuring tape; God’s weirdly precise about tabernacle cubits and weirdly vague about how not to get smote. Listen now, argue later.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com. Join the snark pile and help keep the lights on: Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse • Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC.
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“We are doing Bible shit.”
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
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We zoom straight into the messy middle: the hosts map the Old Testament’s timeline, drag the canon-adjacent weirdness, and keep asking the only sane question—why do Christians never study the parts that break their doctrine? Cue First Enoch: angels sneak down for some pre-Flood “romance,” producing the giant Nephilim—yes, really—and setting the stage before Noah ever builds a boat. From there, Second Enoch one-ups the cosmic fanfic with ten heavens and a celestial tour that even the hosts call… boring (their words, not ours).
Then comes the twist most pew-sitters miss: Job doesn’t belong where your printed Bible shelved him. He actually slots back into the Genesis era—roughly Abraham-time (~2100 BCE)—which is why your mental map keeps breaking. The episode also pins the patriarchal period (Abraham → Isaac → Jacob → Joseph) to a working window of 2100–1800 BCE, ending with Israel parked in Egypt and waiting for Exodus to kick off. Along the way, the hosts rant—gloriously—about how weaponized Christianity depends on not letting people ask questions. You know, because power loves a fog machine.
Expect digressions (Netflix rabbis, Discord chaos), unfiltered language, and a very practical promise: this mini-arc is building a clean chronology so the New Testament takedown lands even harder. Listen, laugh, and load up on heresy fuel.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“There is so much nefarious bullshit weaponized behind what Christianity is… you aren’t allowed to question it.”
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We’re pre-gaming Enoch—the apocryphal fever dream Christians can’t stop half-quoting when angels get horny and giants show up. Consider this your atheist field guide to the Watchers, their disastrous “heavenly HR violations,” and how this book helped turbocharge demon lore, apocalyptic fanfic, and every YouTuber who thinks fallen angels invented metallurgy just to ruin your day.
We also get into why Enoch didn’t make the Protestant cut, how it still haunts modern theology, and the messy overlap with Genesis 6 (hello, Nephilim). Expect snark, side-quests, and a few “did the prophet just say that out loud?” moments—because yes, Enoch is that extra. Listen, rage, laugh, repeat… then come argue with us on Discord.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
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Adam’s on his deathbed, Seth’s asking angels for a dab of “oil of mercy,” and somehow we end up with a medieval fan-theory where a magic tree grows out of Adam’s grave and later becomes the Cross. Yes, really. In this irreverent romp through the final chapters of the Life of Adam and Eve (aka Vita Adae et Evae / Apocalypse of Moses), we pick apart apocryphal add-ons that try way too hard to stitch Genesis to Golgotha—complete with numerology (hello, “70 plagues”), cardinal-direction symbolism, and angels doing glorified side-quests.
We dig into the “fruit of paradise” vs. the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve living in that liminal cul-de-sac outside Eden, and the two “guardian” angels who…didn’t guard. Then it’s off to the Legend of the Holy Rood: Seth plants a seed/branch from the Tree of Life in Adam’s grave; centuries later, that wood shows up everywhere—Noah’s Ark, Moses’ rod, Solomon’s Temple—and finally becomes the Cross. Subtle, it ain’t. Also: “Bethlehem is the center of the earth,” Seth’s unreadable headstones, and Adam being assembled from rivers, winds, clouds, and sunshine like a theologically confused Build-A-Bear.
If you like your Bible lore with side-eye, pop-culture riffs, and zero patience for divine PR, this one’s for you. Listen, laugh, rage—then tell a friend and come heckle with us on Discord.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“It was an apologist fanfic.”
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Adam is 930, everything hurts, and Seth wants a definition of “pain.” (Spoiler: nobody has one.) While the angels step out for a worship break, the Adversary clocks in and Eve gets blamed for…well, everything, again. The hosts roast the logic of angelic babysitters who take a coffee break right when the talking snake shows up, and we head down a rabbit hole of “divine consequences” that read more like management malpractice than cosmic justice.
Then it’s a side-quest worthy of a RPG: Eve and Seth trek toward Paradise to beg for a drop of the Oil of Mercy for Adam’s aches, only to get ambushed by a serpent that bites Seth; until Seth tells it off like a bouncer at closing time. Enter Michael the Archangel, who basically says, “no oil for you… for 5,500 years,” because prophecy.
The episode skewers the late-stage editorial stuffing where the text fast-forwards from Adam’s death to Queen of Sheba lore and a miraculous branch that somehow becomes the very wood of the Cross—a tidy bow, if your favorite genre is retroactive foreshadowing.
We close with Adam’s burial, a celestial brass section of angels, Eve’s four-day funeral (Adam got seven, cool cool), and the “make two tablets, stone and clay, so at least one survives” disaster-prep tip. It’s equal parts myth, patchwork theology, and sitcom timing; perfect for a snarky breakdown you didn’t know you needed. Listen, laugh, and question why divine timelines always come with fine print.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“You can’t describe something by using the same fucking word. That’s not how you do it.”
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We pick up where things got gloriously unhinged: Eve gives birth and the kid stands up and sprints off like the Gingerbread Man. Yes, still canon in this wild text. From there, the hosts unpack why the scene mentions “twelve angels and two virtues” (no, not moral traits—an angelic rank), then riff on hierarchy, bowing, and celestial office politics. It’s irreverent, nerdy, and exactly the kind of Pseudepigrapha detour we live for.
Adam then launches into a sweeping prophecy dump—Temple, dispersion, rinse, repeat—while Michael taps the water with a rod and freezes it like he’s cosplaying Elsa to shuttle Adam around. Meanwhile, Seth volunteers to go beg at the Garden gate for fruit (again), and the roomful of Adam’s descendants—25,000 men—collectively struggle with the concept of… pain. (“What is pain, Father? I am ignorant.” Same, buddy.)
Along the way, the hosts call out the text’s women-are-the-problem vibe, the backfilled “prophecies,” and the sheer comedy of a thousand-year-old patriarch lecturing his gigantically multiplied brood about mortality while they propose “get more forbidden fruit” as a pain management plan. Peak Bible logic.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“Remember she had the baby and it got up and ran away.”
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Vita Adae et Evae
We crack open the Latin version of Vita Adae et Evae (aka The Life of Adam and Eve)—a pseudepigrapha text pinned to Moses long after the fact—and immediately trip over multiple editions, from Greek to Armenian, because of course the Bible multiverse needed DLC. We’re reading the English translation of the Latin because it’s the most readable for non-scholars who still want the tea without the footnote hangover.
Chapters 1–21 deliver premium chaos: Adam and Eve spend a week not eating (apparently “full apple” is a superfood?) then embark on a hunger strike because post-Eden snacks are “animal food.” Adam contemplates “angelic food,” Eve contemplates… death, and we contemplate how anyone survived the Bronze Age with this decision-making. Meanwhile, Satan (Sir Sneckles, if you’re nasty) explains his villain origin story: he refused to worship Adam per Michael’s command, got demoted from five-star-heaven to Best Western hell-adjacent, and decided petty revenge was the vibe. Honestly? It reads like a celestial HR dispute.
We also skewer the text’s sexism—as Eve gets painted dramatic-for-plot while Adam whines about losing his divine DoorDash—and we roast God’s third-person management style. Then we cap the night with housekeeping: yes, this is a multi-parter (57 micro-chapters!), and yes, we record live on Discord every Tuesday at 10pm ET—come heckle us in real time.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and kind of defend the devil a little bit.”
Follow along with us here:
https://onthewaytoithaca.wordpress.com/apocrypha-collection/vita-adae-et-evae-en/
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Your favorite godless duo kicks off a new arc by shoving Genesis back under the microscope—then gleefully coloring outside the canonical lines. We define Apocrypha (the “hidden/secret” stuff) and Pseudepigrapha (the “falsely attributed” stuff) before diving into why so much juicy lore lives outside the official cut. Think origin-story patch notes: second-Temple authors, bonus angels, Satan cameos, and the ultimate “deleted scenes” energy. (Also, yes, someone says they’re never reading the Old Testament again. Mood.)
From there, we zoom into Genesis 1–11—creation, exile, murder, flood, and that adorable language-collapse at Babel—and tee up the apocryphal expansions that try to make the whiplash timelines…you know, make sense. Enter The Life of Adam and Eve (aka the Apocalypse of Moses) with grief, fasting, angelic burials, and Eve’s own post-Eden testimony; plus the hosts call it what it is: Bible fan fiction—and they mean that as a compliment.
Then it’s a roll call for the “extras” you were never taught: 1 Enoch / 2 Enoch, Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs, and the sprawling Book of Jubilees that basically retells Genesis and chunks of Exodus—because of course it does. Strap in; we’re mapping the timeline, roasting the canon, and promising to actually read some of these wild texts next. Listen now, bring your rage, and bring a friend.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“I will fucking never read the Old Testament ever again.”
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This week we ditch the Apocrypha to confront the political cyclone around Charlie Kirk’s killing—and the even uglier spin machine that followed. The episode opens with a scorching montage of right-wing grievance and Bible-thumping clobber verses (yes, the “abomination” greatest hits), setting the stage for how faith is weaponized to police gender, empathy, and civil rights. The hosts are crystal clear: murder is not okay, full stop, and the shooter is a terrible person. The real conversation is what comes next—how power turns tragedy into propaganda and demands obedience.
From there, we unpack the rush to canonize Kirk—right down to talk of a Medal of Freedom—and why that’s a grotesque rewrite of who he actually was and what he said. We also dig into why receipts are suddenly hard to find (thanks, algorithms), and why acknowledging his hateful rhetoric does not imply he “had it coming.” When Trump and Vance start floating vague “crackdowns” and even National Guard deployments, the show calls it what it is: creeping authoritarianism that feeds on martyrdom and demands a public enemy.
Finally, the hosts hit first principles: secular democracy means no church-state fusion (despite the Right’s confident fiction that separation is “made up”), and “religious freedom” isn’t the freedom to impose your denomination on everyone else. If America becomes “Charlie Kirk’s America,” they argue, we’ve already lost the plot. The answer isn’t violence; it’s showing up, speaking out, and refusing to let propaganda define reality.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“But he’s a piece of shit. But murder’s not good.”
——
If you like what you heard (or hated it in the right way), support our blasphemy on Patreon and don’t forget to join our cult—uh, community—on Discord.
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Cue the confetti: we officially wrapped the Old Testament—and yes, we took a moment of celebratory silence (not prayer… obviously) before plotting what’s next. This one’s an on-air planning sesh where we celebrate the milestone and lay out how we’ll untangle the Bible’s utterly bonkers ordering—because the OT you grew up with is the same content as the Hebrew Bible, just shuffled by theology and tradition rather than history.
We break down Tanakh = Torah + Nevi’im + Ketuvim (law, prophets, writings) and how that structure differs from the Christian OT flow—and why Christians deliberately ordered theirs to “bridge to Jesus.” Translation: editorial choices > chronology. We also map the extra books many folks never read—Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, 1–2 Maccabees (plus add-ons to Daniel & Esther), with Orthodox flavors like 3 Maccabees and an extra Psalm—before we decide how to slot them along a sane historical timeline.
The plan: start next week with a tight Pentateuch timeline pass (Genesis, Job, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy), then keep marching chronologically while weaving in the Apocrypha where it actually belongs. Minimal recap, maximum clarity, and yes—“chronology next week.”
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC (Tues 10pm ET live taping—come roast with us)
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“Y' all made such a mess of this Bible. Omg. I have to come in here and clean this up now.”
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📝 Episode Summary:
Five years, countless smitings, and one accidental Rickroll later, we’ve officially finished the Old Testament—and we’re sending Malachi off with a bang (and a Bon Jovi cameo). In this wrap-up special, the hosts dig into the so-called “minor prophet” who might not even be real—spoiler: Malachi probably isn’t a name at all, just a title meaning my messenger. Some traditions even say it was Ezra moonlighting under a pseudonym, which explains the constant ranting about corrupt priests and men ditching their Jewish wives for “dirty foreign pagans.” Nothing like ending the OT with a combo of slut-shaming, tithe-shaking, and theological identity theft.
The fun doesn’t stop there. We roll straight into a pop quiz (Discord cheats included), where the “right” answers are as fuzzy as God’s love for Jacob over Esau. Then it’s contradiction-palooza: does God hate divorce or just interfaith hookups? Does He curse the earth or pinky-promise never again? Is slavery totally fine—or a sin He forgot to enforce until Leviticus had a rewrite? And the kicker: does God get tired, or does He just “rest dramatically” on the seventh day? By the end, Yahweh looks less like a deity and more like Trump with smiting powers—grumpy, self-contradictory, and perpetually surrounded by yes-men.
If you thought Malachi was a neat bow on the OT, think again—it’s more like duct tape on a dumpster fire. But hey, we survived it, and next up: extracurriculars like Maccabees and Dead Sea Scroll weirdness before diving face-first into Matthew.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“Always go with the penis. Penis is always the answer. Eat a dick. Always eat a dick.”
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📝 Episode Summary:
We did it—five years, countless smitings, and more divine mood swings than a soap opera marathon—and Malachi 4 finally drags the Old Testament across the finish line. The chapter itself? A tiny four-verse fireball where God promises the wicked will be torched into stubble while the righteous get to skip around like fattened calves (yes, that’s really the image). Nothing says “holy finale” like frolicking over the ashes of your enemies.
Of course, Yahweh can’t resist dangling one last prophecy teaser: Elijah will come back before the “great and dreadful day of the Lord” to set everyone straight. Spoiler: that cliffhanger gets milked hard in the New Testament. The hosts gleefully roast the whole thing—poking at God’s PR problem of making his faithful look like psychotic ash-dancers, asking why divine justice always comes packaged as mass arson, and wondering if Yahweh’s really just rebranding genocide as “targeted strikes.”
Naturally, there’s plenty of digression—booze, jokes, milestone cheers for finishing the OT, and a preview of what’s next: wrap-ups, apocrypha detours, Dead Sea Scroll cameos, and a well-deserved breather before we crack into Matthew. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations—you’ve officially survived God’s longest guilt trip.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“Anytime you’ve got people dancing on people’s ashes…not a good look.”
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📝 Episode Summary:
We dive headfirst into Malachi 3—the Old Testament’s penultimate guilt trip—where God allegedly sends a “messenger,” talks about refiner’s fire, and then pivots straight into shaking down the peasants for tithes. Yes, the chapter that prosperity preachers love to tattoo on their wallets makes a cameo, and we drag it appropriately. We also point out the weird chapter break (why does 3 basically start in 2?) because Bible editors apparently had a “use every inch of scroll” policy.
From there, it’s all about control: bring your offerings, fall in line, and—our favorite—the regime literally keeps a list of who’s compliant so your neighbors know whether to treat you like a saint or a problem. Politics + religion = surveillance state with incense. “We’re taking down names” isn’t subtle; it’s policy. The hosts call out how “choice” under that system isn’t a choice at all—just coercion in priestly drag.
There’s banter, booze, and birthday bits (yes, really), plus a reminder that we record live on Discord Tuesdays at 10pm ET—come heckle us and you won’t miss the chaos next time.
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“That’s God’s whole thing, is that you have the choice to choose me or I will kill you. Those are your choices.”
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
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This week, we dive headfirst into Malachi Chapter 2, where God’s big message to the priests boils down to: You’re all unworthy, you give me crappy sacrifices, and also—poop face. No, really. The Almighty threatens to smear dung on their faces because apparently that’s the ancient Hebrew equivalent of “bless your heart.” From hypocritical Levite nostalgia to yet another round of “why are you marrying foreign women” (hi, Moses and David—we see you), the contradictions are flowing faster than the burnt offerings.
Our hosts tear into God’s double standards, the baffling obsession with punishing descendants for crimes they didn’t commit, and the irony of a deity who gets “weary” when mortals complain about injustice. There’s also a side rant about eulogies, Modest Mouse concerts, and why church in America is basically spiritual checkbox culture instead of, you know, actual learning.
By the end, it’s clear: Malachi might be the last prophet in the Old Testament, but the absurdity is alive and kicking. Join the godless peanut gallery as we question, mock, and occasionally gag-laugh our way through scripture’s most unhinged closing act.
👉 Listen now (or pick up some merch) at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
"You are a doo doo brain. You are a poo face. And yes—that’s straight from the Bible."
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This ain't your average Bible breakdown—this is an update on how our podcast will look going forward.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
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Moon Shit and Menstrual Calendars: How Judaism Synced Up with Space
📝 Episode Summary:
Strap in for a lunar-laced detour from our usual Bible bashing as we dive headfirst into ancient Israel’s moon obsession, and no, not in a sexy Wiccan way. This isn’t your typical “let’s stare at the stars” moment. We’re talking about how the Jewish calendar was built around the moon’s ass and how fire poles, moon seekers, and period-powered mysticism ended up shaping entire holy festivals. Yeah, it’s weird. Yeah, it’s awesome. Yeah, it’s still being used today.
Your heretical hosts go full-on Moonstruck™—tackling Rosh Chodesh, lunar-solar calendar math, and why the hell every ancient priest wanted to light things on fire every 29.5 days. We drag the patriarchy for taking over women-led rituals, decode why Passover plays leapfrog with Easter, and side-eye the Metonic cycle like it's a Greek bro in a toga trying to do math. And don’t miss the accidental horse murder story (yes, really), plus a spicy sidebar on science hype, dark matter, and whether black holes are just celestial clickbait.
There’s moon lore, menstrual metaphors, and mid-rant math lessons—and somehow, it’s still all vaguely connected to Exodus. Don’t worry, we’ll finish Malachi soon... right after this cosmic pitstop.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
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Suck My Johnson (Act): How the IRS Just Gutted Church-State Separation (and Called It a ‘Family Discussion’)
📝 Episode Summary:
Buckle up, blasphemers—this week’s episode of Sacrilegious Discourse takes a red-hot poker to the Johnson Amendment, that dusty 1954 rule designed to keep churches from morphing into tax-free political machines. Spoiler alert: the IRS just whispered “go ahead” to pulpit endorsements—so long as it’s done in “good faith” (LOL), during “usual religious channels” (double LOL), and preferably with dark money and zero consequences.
Hosts Husband and Wife—your favorite godless duo—break down how this IRS court filing didn’t technically change the law, just eviscerated it with a wink and a sermon. We’re talking about churches now being unofficial super PACs, taxpayer-subsidized political propaganda, and the creeping death of democracy dressed in clerical robes. There’s rage, sarcasm, and a brief detour into defining “harm” that turns into a full-on debate about free speech, Nazis, and why “family discussions” shouldn’t involve campaign endorsements and theocracy cosplay.
They also torch the media’s milquetoast coverage—NPR, NYT, and Christianity Today all get dragged for their sins of omission, soft framing, and “both sides” nonsense. And yes, Wife literally shouts, “Let’s stand for the dick the way we didn’t stand for the vagina!” So if you thought we wouldn’t end this episode with righteous fury and a call to action… you must be new here.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“Let’s stand for the dick the way we didn’t stand for the vagina.”
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Malachi, Messenger of Mayhem: When God Hates Esau and Slams Your Goat Sacrifices
📝 Episode Summary:
Welcome to the divine roast of Malachi Chapter 1, where God kicks things off by saying “I love you” and then immediately follows it up with a detailed description of how much he hates Esau. Romantic, right? In this snark-laced breakdown, your favorite atheist duo dives into the last book of the Hebrew Bible—Malachi (or as we like to call it, Malarkey). Whether Malachi is a prophet, a messenger, or just some anonymous guy with opinions, nobody knows... and honestly, nobody in this book seems to either.
We dig into theories about Malachi’s identity—Ezra? A Levite? God's celestial DoorDash angel?—and laugh through the hot mess of post-exilic tantrums disguised as prophecy. God is once again displeased (shocker), this time because priests are grilling up garbage-tier sacrifices and the people are phoning in their worship. There’s plenty of contempt, judgment, and a whole lot of theological gaslighting. Bonus: we compare God to Trump, decide Lindsay Graham might be Esau reincarnated, and try to figure out why the Almighty is obsessed with being feared more than loved.
Come for the biblical takedown, stay for the rant about taxes, governors, and why giving God your blind goat is apparently the ultimate insult.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
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📌 Topics Covered:
💬 Best Quote from the Episode:
“Do you love us?” — “Well, I hated Esau, so… what do you think?”
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Zechariah’s Zombie Apocalypse, Divine Meltdowns, and a Bible Book Wrap-Up from Hell
📝 Episode Summary:
Hold onto your prophetic horses—this ain’t your grandma’s Bible study. In this irreverent breakdown of Zechariah Chapters 12–14, we hit peak theological absurdity: God turns Jerusalem into a drunken stumbling block, demands loyalty through magical fountains and plague-stricken horses, and ends with a bizarre image of people being forced to worship him with threats of drought and divine pestilence. Because nothing says “love me” like supernatural weather terrorism.
But wait—there’s more! This oversized episode packs in our Q&A session (yes, we read your spicy, chaotic questions), a full Book of Zechariah Wrap-Up, a hearty helping of contradictions and inconsistencies, and even a couple of off-topic specials that spiral into discussions of Christian nationalism, prophecy bros, and how the apocalypse is apparently God’s favorite aesthetic. We laugh, we rant, we side-eye... and yes, we call out every ridiculous “prophecy” that’s aged like holy milk.
If you’ve ever wondered how many ways one book can contradict itself—or how a divine war fantasy turns into mandatory holiday attendance—this one’s for you.
👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC
👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse
📌 Topics Covered:
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.