What do you do when a restaurant-opening-double-date turns into a murder-who-dunnit, and you've got no idea what's going on? Try to smooch the bad boy, obviously! Then, Nightbitch is a movie and it exists in the world right now, so we gotta talk Nightbitch Ships. Somehow, this is the return of both Woke Tim Allen AND the cum-hungry Mr. Bucket.

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We've all been to concerts before, but have we all been the subject of a sting operation taking the form of a concert? WAIT, there's a twist! And the twist isn't what you think! Then Wicked is OUT, so let's defy gravity or whatever and ship the wickedest ships imaginable!

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Sometimes you've got to pour your heart out over the phone to your long distance significant other, and sometimes you end up proposing. So what do you do when this same L.D.S.O. just sorta says "uh" and hangs up?! Probably start by calling back, right? Then, the biggest flop of the year has a too-buff J.K. Simmons as Santa Claus, so you know we're talking Red One Ships!

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What do you do when your neighbors think they can just sell things in their front yard TOTALLY UNATTENDED? And how much will you pay for that cool looking door? Then, spooky movie genre month continues with Nightmare Ships - Elmstreet need not apply.

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What do you do when and old fling comes back into your life, HAS SEX WITH YOU, and then while that's happening, her ex leaves a message on her machine? That's right, it's at least 20 years ago. Then, the Shipper's tour through Horror Cinema's past continues with an exploration of their favorite ExorShips (that's Exorcism Ships, but cuter).

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Love and trust are hard-won between super villains, but what do you do when your villainous SO's superpower actively weakens your superpower? Separate vocations, baby - it doesn't have to be that hard! Then, WELCOME TO OCTOBER - the Shippers are taking a tour of the ages of film horror with this month's themes! Up first, Universal Movie Monster Ships! You got your Draculas, your Creatures from the Black Lagoon, your Invisible Mans, your Swamp Things, your Frankensteins (agents of S-H-A-D-E, which is just totally how it's spelled normally).

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What do you when your murderous mother-in-law-to-be demands you sign an NDA? WELL YOU DON'T DO IT FOR FREE. Then, what the heck? It's time for Board Game Ships! All your favorite characters from board games, all your favorite players of board games, all your favorite anthropomorphizations of board games!

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What do you do when your new S.O. starts very softly implying obscene acts with their novelty popcorn buckets? Kinda seems like... no problem, right? YEAH, BUT WHAT IF IT WAS A PROBLEM? Then, the Shippers get into the spirit of the new The Batman spin-off series by sharing their favorite Penguin Ships! And hey look, are some of these "ships" actually just "stories"? You better believe it! But you also better believe Mogge stuck to the assignment and brought one (1) actual ship (even if that ship is ultimately between a sorceress with unlimited power and her immortal play-thing / prisoner).

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What if your neat freak boyfriend dropped your toothbrush in the toilet and didn't tell you about it? Sorry, I meant "what's the deal with boyfriends dropping your toothbush in the toilet?" Then, Sweet Tooth is a murderous clown who drives an ice cream with mini-guns strapped to the sides, but does that mean we can't ship him?

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What do you do when your girlfriend dies and/or disappears for, like, years, and then comes back, only to fly off to fight some aliens or some shit? Then, look, there's a pair of movies in the theatre right now, and we're creatures of the culture, so: Barbieheimer Ships, it is! Hunger Games! Barbie! X-Men! Neils Bohr (for some reason)! The Simpsons!

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What do you do when your new SO is obsessed with making edits for the only non-bisexual icon from the movie The Mummy? (And how many followers does their channel have?) Then, say it twice but don't say it three times, there's a new Beetlejuice movie, so it's time to talk Beetle Ships!

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What do you do when... wait, holy shit, Same Day Shipping is back? When did this happen!? The hot take is about Broadcast News and the topic is Aliens because there's a new Alien movie. And somehow, the gang starts talking about ovipositors in the first, I don't know, 10 minutes? We're so back!

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What do you do when your super sweet, super thoughtful wedding present reveals that your man has been WAITING for the perfect moment to leave you for some mystery girl? Then, look, Tom Cruise will die making these Mission Impossible movies for us some day, AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT. It means it's time for Cruise Ships 2 Part III (or is it Cruise Ships 3 Part 2?). Mission Impossible! Interview with the Vampire! Collateral! A Few Good Men!

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What do you do when your contributions to rock and roll are being overlooked by your bandmate? Do you confess your inventions sorta suck? Then, there's a new Superman show, which means it's time to talk about all our favorite Clarks and Loises!

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What do you do when your cagey SO has to disappear for days at a time, and when you press them for explanation, all they can ask is that you "trust them"? Why, you go downstairs and marry them of course! Then, dust off your fedoras, there's a new Indiana Jones movie in the theatres, which means it's time to talk Whip Ships! Batman Returns! Iron Man II! Scott Pilgrim vs. the World! Toy Story! Tenacious D!

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What do you do when you find yourself re-embroiled in Meg-related attacks? You suit up and fight that thing: what other choice ya got? Then, Asteroid City is in wide release so it's time to stare dead-eyed directly into the camera and ship all things Wes Anderson.

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How can you even go on when a swing dancer at a wedding flips your wife like 9 times? You can't sleep! Your neighbor sends a pig wearing a mask into your home through the doggie door! Your life is in shambles, which means: you're a Tim Robinson character. (It's so good to have new I Think You Should Leave.) Then, the new Pixar film Elemental looks like shit, but it is out now, which means we're talking Elemental Ships! Avatar the Last Airbender! Star Wars: The High Republic! Little Nemo The Dream Master! Sky High! The X-Men!

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What do you do when you should be fighting vampires, but instead you have to be the cool teacher? Or maybe the negligent, absentee teacher? Look, we don't say it a lot, but: maybe call the cops? Then, Diablo IV is out and offering countless dungeons through which to crawl, which means we're going Crawl Ships! Girls! Secretary! 12 Minutes! The Superior Spider-Man! Star Wars!

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Star Wars Jedi Survivor is out today and it looks like it's good, so the Shipple Dips are talking Survivor Ships!

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What do you do when you're in an intense climbing situation with another person and it turns out they were totally boning your ex? You swallow your pride and SURVIVE. Then, Chavalier is in theatres which means the Dips are shipping Violin Ships! Who will wind up with Dr. Michael Morbius this week?

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