Although gay men are often seen as being pretty uninhibited when it comes to sex, their fantasy lives tell a more complex story. Like everyone else, many gay men experience shame, confusion, or conflict around their fantasies. In today’s show, we’re diving into common themes that show up in gay men’s fantasies, the psychology behind them, and how to drop the shame. My guest is Dr. Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of multiple books, including Cracking the Erotic Code: Helping Gay Men Understand Their Fantasies. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do sexual fantasies actually mean or represent? What kinds of things are gay men likely to fantasies about? Why are taboo themes so prevalent in gay men’s fantasies? How does porn shape gay men’s fantasies? What do gay men who feel ashamed or confused about their fantasies need to know? You can visit Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People’s definitions of cheating are evolving. Infidelity isn’t just about physical betrayal anymore. It’s emotional, it’s digital, and sometimes it doesn’t even involve another human at all. In today’s show, we’re diving into the new rules of cheating. We’re also going to talk about how modern technology is making it harder than ever to keep infidelity a secret. I am joined once again by Dr. Amanda Gesselman a research scientist and head of the VIBES research team at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Digital intimacy is a major focus of her research, including how people use tools like camsites, AI companions, dating apps, and social media to navigate connection and desire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do people today think “counts” as cheating? Is watching porn a form of infidelity? What about sexting with an AI chatbot? How many people suspect a partner has cheated on them before? What kind of detective work do people do to determine if a partner has cheated? How do we balance the benefits and challenges of digital intimacy? To learn more, you can read a brief report of this study here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Thread & Tether is a therapy practice dedicated to helping couples rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and heal after betrayal. Led by AASECT-certified sex therapist Jason Powell, the practice offers virtual sessions in multiple states and in-person intensives in Boston and Manhattan. Visit threadandtether.com to learn more. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Popular GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, Wegovy, and Zepbound aren’t just transforming weight loss. They’re also changing our intimate lives in surprising ways. In today’s show, we’re diving into results from a new national study finding that a majority of people taking one of these medications reported a change in their sex and dating lives, for better or for worse. My guest is Dr. Amanda Gesselman a research scientist and head of the VIBES research team at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Digital intimacy is a major focus of her research, including how people use tools like camsites, AI companions, dating apps, and social media to navigate connection and desire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What specific changes are people noticing in their dating lives as a result of taking one of these drugs? Why does weight loss seem to be benefiting men more than women when it comes to dating? How do GLP-1 medications affect sexual health and function? And is it different for men and women? Are people taking GLP-1 medications worried about social judgement? To learn more, you can read a brief report about the study here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How do you make a non-monogamous relationship work? In today’s show, we’re diving into a brand-new study that set out to map the most common and effective relationship practices for consensually non-monogamous (CNM) people. We’re going to discuss the key strategies that help people maintain multiple partners with intention, stability, and harmony. I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Mogilski, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina Salkehatchie, where he teaches courses on human sexuality, the psychology of marriage, and evolutionary psychology. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the Multiple Relationships Maintenance Scale, and what can it tell us about how CNM relationships work? How do people in CNM relationships navigate things like jealousy, resource distribution, and hierarchy? What are people in the most successful CNM relationships doing? What can monogamous couples learn from how CNM people structure their relationships? You can click this link to read the full study discussed in this episode. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is something everyone seems to have an opinion on, but many people’s views are decidedly negative. For example, people often say things like “open relationships never work,” and “how is that any different than cheating?” In today’s show, we’re going to dive into common CNM myths and misconceptions and separate fact from fiction. My guest is Dr. Justin Mogilski, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina Salkehatchie, where he teaches courses on human sexuality, the psychology of marriage, and evolutionary psychology. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What the difference between CNM and infidelity? How is cheating within a CNM relationship similar to or different from cheating in a monogamous relationship? What are some of the logistical and emotional challenges in CNM relationships? What are some of the key components to a successful CNM relationship? How is CNM related to sexual health and safer-sex practices? You can click this link to read Dr. Mogilski’s large-scale study on consensual non-monogamy. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many parts of female sexual anatomy have long been misunderstood, but the clitoris is chief among them. Throughout history, the clitoris is something that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and then forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going revisit one of my favorite conversations from the archives and talk all about the history and science of the clitoris. My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction and prosthesis. A former clinical professor at the University of California San Diego, Dr. Uloko is now the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why has it taken so long for us to gain a solid scientific understanding of the clitoris? How many nerve endings are actually in the clitoris? How can a better understanding of clitoral anatomy help to improve sexual health and pleasure? Is there really a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms? What is the role of testosterone in clitoral health and wellness? You can visit Maria’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s November again, and that means a bunch of people on the internet are giving up masturbation for the month. While “No Nut November” is a relatively recent phenomenon, it actually has deep roots and reflects humans’ longstanding and very complicated relationship with self-pleasure. In this show, we’re talking about the history of masturbation and why people are so conflicted over it. My guest is Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Where does the idea of masturbation as sinful originate? Historically, how have religious and political figures dissuaded people from masturbating? When did masturbation start to become a public health concern? How has the rise of social media coincided with the rise of negative views of masturbation? You can visit Eric’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Think back to your sex education for a moment. Were you advised to “save yourself for marriage?” Were you asked to sign a “purity” pledge? For millions of people, that was their experience. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at abstinence pledges, including how they became so widespread, whether they actually work as intended, and the unseen consequences they leave behind. I am joined once again by Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does a typical abstinence pledge look like? How common are abstinence pledges today? Do abstinence pledges actually delay sexual activity? How might abstinence pledges make people less prepared for sex and relationships? What happens when people “break” their pledge? You can visit Lauren’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For a lot of people who grew up in religious or conservative environments, they learned to fear sex and/or feel ashamed of. Purity culture teaches folks that their personal value is tied to their sexual choices: “good” people wait to have sex, while “bad” people don’t. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what it’s like to grow up in purity culture, how to move past it, and whether it’s possible to still hold onto your faith while letting go of purity culture. My guest is Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does purity culture shape attitudes toward sex, desire, and one’s own body? What are some ways to work through the shame that people often feel due to purity culture? How can you begin exploring your sexuality when you still have some internal conflicts about it? Is it possible to remain religious without adopting the sexual shame that often comes with it? You can visit Lauren’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you and ruin partnered sex forever? That sex toys are just for women, singles, or kinky folks? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life or relationship? These are common beliefs, but they’re not grounded in reality. So let’s set the record straight. My guest is Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle. Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include: What do you need to know if you’re worried about becoming too “dependent” on sex toys? How can people introduce sex toys into partnered sex without stoking insecurity? Are sex toys just for women and single people? What are some beginner-friendly sex toys worth considering? What should you do if you try a toy and find that it doesn’t seem to do much for you? Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A sex toy is so much more than just a fun gadget. Toys can help us to explore our bodies, rekindle the connection in a relationship, improve sexual communication, and more. In this episode, we’re going behind the scenes of how sex toys are designed and developed. We’re also going to talk about what makes a toy truly great, as well as how to tell which toys are worth your money and which ones aren’t. I am joined by Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle. Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include: What does it mean to view sex toys as experiences rather than products? What all goes into designing and developing a new sex toy? How can you tell the good sex toys from the bad? In what ways can sex toys help us to improve our sex lives? Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 65% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER69 as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/pd2546-lehmiller  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

From sayings like “freak in the head, freak in the bed” to the hot/crazy matrix to memes about “daddy issues,” the internet is full of content suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true? In this episode, we’re breaking down some of the biggest myths about sex and relationships that dominate social media. I am joined once again by Joe Nucci, a licensed psychotherapist, writer, and social media influencer. His debut book, Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths & the Truth To Set You Free, is available wherever books are sold. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why are people with psychopathic characteristics often rated as more attractive? How are mental health conditions associated with sex drive and sexual behavior? Are people with “daddy issues” more eager to please in bed? Will therapy make you ready for a relationship? You can check out Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Social media has turned therapy into a language that almost everyone seems to speak these days, which is why your feed is probably full of posts about topics like trauma, boundaries, and gaslighting. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at the rise of “therapy speak” and how, for better or for worse, it’s reshaping the way we talk about emotions, conflict, and relationships. I am joined by Joe Nucci, a licensed psychotherapist, writer, and social media influencer. His debut book, Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths & the Truth To Set You Free, is available wherever books are sold. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What are some of the problems with overusing therapy speak? How is social media changing the way people think about and approach relationships? What does the term “love-bombing” actually mean? How do you know the difference between something like love-bombing and just moving fast in a relationship? You can check out Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

All too often, survivors of sexual violence are treated as though they’re permanently broken. However, healing and recovery are possible. My guest today has written a new book that explores how survivors reclaim sex, intimacy, and desire after assault. It’s unlike most other books on trauma because it dares to ask not just how people survive, but also how they thrive again. I am joined by Katie Simon (they/them), a sexuality journalist and author of Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault. Their writing has previously appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine, Vogue, The Washington Post, Playboy, and Women’s Health. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the role of self-exploration in navigating sex and intimacy after sexual assault? What are some practical things that can potentially help survivors of sexual assault? What does the concept of post-traumatic growth look like in practice? How can helping professionals become better-equipped to serve survivors? You can visit Katie’s website to learn more about their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When it comes to sex, we often think about safety and pleasure as being at odds with one another. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, we’re talking about some new Kinsey Institute research looking at people’s experiences with Lorals for Protection, a product designed to offer both protection and pleasure during oral sex. I am joined by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She is editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research and conducts research on a number of important sexual health topics. Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include: Why do discussions about safer sex almost always leave oral sex out of the equation? Oral sex is often thought of as a low- or no-risk activity, but is that really the case? How come dental dams never really caught on? How does Lorals offer something different compared to other barrier methods? How can we help people to maximize both pleasure and safety during sexual activity? The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/pd2542-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people in long-term relationships think their sex life could be better. So what can you do if you and your partner don’t really seem to be in synch anymore when it comes to sex? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how to respark your sexual connection. We’ll also dive into the topic of sexual initiation, including how we can learn to initiate in ways that are actually going to stimulate desire in our partners. I am joined once again by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy, an AASECT-certified sex therapist who helps couples navigate sex, desire, and connection. She is also author of the new book Parents in Love: A Great Guide to Sex After Kids. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is sensate focus, and how can it be a beneficial practice in relationships? How can we get better at initiating sex? What are some ways for us to learn more about our own desires? Why is it important to expand our definition of sex and bring more creativity into the bedroom? You can visit Rebecca’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Becoming a parent changes everything in your life, including your sex life. It’s common for new parents to struggle with desire, let alone finding time for intimacy. So what can parents do to get things back on track? In today’s show, we’re talking all about how parenthood changes sex and tips for reigniting intimacy. My guest is Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy, an AASECT-certified sex therapist who helps couples navigate sex, desire, and connection. She is also author of the new book Parents in Love: A Great Guide to Sex After Kids. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is parenting more stressful than ever? And what does this mean for parents’ intimate lives. How can you make your relationship a priority when it feels like everything is overwhelming? How can parents’ attachment styles exacerbate disconnection and conflict? What are some of the different issues parents face when it comes to having younger versus older children? You can visit Rebecca’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Even in the happiest relationships, people don’t always share their fantasies and desires. And sometimes that’s because people are worried about rocking the boat. For example, what if you share a fantasy your partner isn’t into and it reveals an incompatibility? In this episode, we’re going to explore the factors that predict people’s willingness to open up about their fantasies, and why we sometimes decide to keep them to ourselves. I am joined once again by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the most common sexual fantasies people have? Which fantasies are people most likely to tell their partners about, and why? How is being in a relationship characterized by high levels of sexual novelty linked to sharing fantasies? How is the length of a relationship related to whether people share their fantasies? You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure. I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners? What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy? Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret? Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared? When is sharing your fantasies a good idea? You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. Julie’s latest book is titled Secure Love: Create a Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do you know when an argument you’re having with a partner is reflective of a larger negative cycle? What are some ways to use vulnerability to break out of a negative cycle? What does co-regulation look like for couples trying to resolve an argument? What are the most common traps that lead to negative cycles in the first place? How can couples repair their relationship if a negative cycle sneaks in? You can visit Julie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.