Not all summer activities help teens grow, even when they look impressive on paper. In this episode, Meredith and Cathy take on the summer advice that drives them crazy and often leads teens and parents in the wrong direction. They unpack why cookie-cutter internships, pay-to-play “prestige” programs, and résumé-padding service trips often miss the point, especially when they are handed to teens rather than earned. Drawing on years of admissions and coaching experience, they explain why real growth comes from embracing discomfort, taking initiative, and doing the work yourself. The conversation explores how parental over-involvement can undermine maturity, why doing nothing all summer is not the same as rest, and how teens can get unstuck when they feel paralyzed by too many options. Listen in for a grounded, honest look at what actually makes a summer meaningful for teens! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:08] Today’s topic: What you shouldn’t do during your summer break. [0:04:52] Why most internships raise red flags for us. [0:06:15] The difference between earned opportunities and parent-arranged internships. [0:08:38] Our strong stance against pay-to-play academic programs. [0:09:40] Warning signs of expensive leadership programs that exploit parent anxiety. [0:12:39] When international service trips fall flat and when they actually matter. [0:16:57] Doing absolutely nothing all summer, and why that is also a problem. [0:17:34] Why teens shouldn’t choose summer plans based on friends or trends. [0:18:20] Navigating paralysis when teens have multiple interests. [0:20:17] Letting teens do the hard work instead of clearing the path for them. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

This time of year can be very stressful for seniors applying to college, and they all need a break from the college discussions and pressure that comes with it. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are touching on what not to say during the holidays. You’ll hear all about what topics to avoid, why teenagers need a certain degree of privacy, how you can express care and interest without asking too many personal questions, and more! We talk about how to prepare your teenagers for these discussions before discussing what not to say to younger kids applying to private independent schools. Lastly, we share some examples of things you can talk about with teens other than college. Thanks for tuning in!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:20] Today’s topic: what not to say to teens during the holidays. [0:03:20] Why you shouldn’t ask teens about college and other private topics. [0:08:10] Cathy shares an example of an inappropriate holiday discussion. [0:10:20] How to express interest in college applications without prying too much. [0:11:34] What kids can say when they don’t want to answer personal questions.  [0:13:47] How this also applies to younger kids applying to private independent schools.  [0:15:46] What you can talk about with teens instead of talking about college applications. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

AI is changing how students navigate the college admissions process, and knowing how to use it well can save families time and stress. In this episode, Cathy and Meredith focus on the most effective and responsible ways teens can use AI for college search, planning campus visits, organizing supplements, preparing for interviews, and comparing schools. They explain why AI is a powerful tool for reflection and structure in essay writing, but not a replacement for a student’s real voice. They also address concerns about accuracy, misuse, and school policies around AI. Looking ahead, they share why AI will likely reshape admissions in the coming years and what families should keep in mind as the landscape evolves. Tune in for clear, practical insights on using AI wisely in the admissions journey! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:20] Today’s topic: how AI is shaping the college admissions process. [0:02:38] Cathy and Meredith’s mixed feelings about adopting new AI tools. [0:04:30] How students, parents, and counselors can use AI for college search. [0:06:06] Teaching students to research colleges using AI and multiple sources. [0:08:41] Why AI is helpful but never exhaustive in list-building. [0:09:54] Using AI as an essay-editing tool, not a writer, in the admissions process. [0:14:48] How AI can help you identify distinctive program features and compare colleges. [0:16:52] AI as a time-saver for planning tours and organizing writing requirements. [0:17:35] The right and wrong ways to use AI in admissions work. [0:17:56] Looking ahead at how AI may reshape future college applications. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Anxiety is a common experience among teenagers, and today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are sharing some tips for parenting teens with anxiety! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about how anxiety manifests differently in different people, what it looks like in teens on a basic level, how to know when it’s affecting how they function, and the importance of helping teens get out of their heads to combat anxiety. We delve into why feelings need to be named, acknowledged, and felt before discussing why anxiety is contagious, how to model behavior for your teens, and how to make sure co-regulation is effective. We even talk about the difference between sphere of influence and sphere of control and why you should validate your kids’ emotions first. Finally, we touch on the value of exercise for teenagers and how to keep an eye on your kids’ anxiety to avoid bigger, clinical issues. Thanks for listening in! Key Points From This Episode: [0:03:16] Today’s topic of discussion: how to parent anxious kids.   [0:04:41] How anxiety manifests differently in Meredith and Cathy. [0:06:42] What anxiety looks like in teens and how to know if it’s affecting them. [0:10:45] How to help teenagers bring themselves back to the present moment. [0:18:12] The power of modeling behavior and how to properly co-regulate.  [0:22:33] Why you should validate before you problem-solve (if at all). [0:24:21] Explaining the difference between sphere of influence and sphere of control. [0:25:49] The value of physical movement and exercise for teenagers. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Today we’re unpacking the UC application, partly because the online advice is… all over the place. With the December 1st deadline coming up, we break down why the UC application is different from the Common App and what actually matters. We walk through the Personal Insight Questions, how to choose which ones to answer, how to navigate impacted majors, and how to approach the activities section thoughtfully. We also touch on why context and extenuating circumstances should be included, plus a common UCLA mistake to avoid. If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed as you finalize your application, you’re not alone, and this episode will help you move forward with clarity. If you have questions or concerns, let us know.  Thanks for listening. Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:28] How the UC application differs from the Common App. [0:05:00] The personal insight questions included in the application process. [0:06:30] Strategizing around impacted majors.   [0:10:35] How to approach the UCPIQs.  [0:13:59] Why it is important to list extenuating circumstances or context in your application. [0:15:45] One of the common mistakes students make on their UCLA applications. [0:17:15] A common misstep around applications during this time of year. [0:18:55] How to approach the activities summary on the UC application. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: College Admissions Insider Interview with Gary ClarkUC admissions REACTS to TikTok application advice Counselors and Advisers Bulletin Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The school profile is an essential document that provides the context, rigor, and strategic insight needed to build a smart, effective college application list. Join Cathy and Meredith for another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as they break down everything you need to know about the school profile — what it is, how college admissions use it, and why understanding it matters. They also share tips on reading transcripts, which GPA to focus on, and why no amount of extracurriculars can distract from a funky transcript. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] A proviso for today’s episode. [0:01:20] Today's topic: The School Profile (what the heck is that?) [0:03:00] How the school profile is used by college admissions. [0:07:10] Understanding grades within schools and the lack of ranking. [0:08:30] Why it’s important to know ranking and distribution when making a college list. [0:10:00] The materials schools send to colleges on behalf of students. [0:10:48] A note on transcripts and which GPA to look at. [0:13:00] Why students want to have information, the data set, and a strategy for finding the right matches. [0:14:20] Final notes on the school profile, where to find it, and why you want to understand it before building a school list.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

You finally hit “submit” on your college application, so what do you do now? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith walk families through what happens after the big moment, from the confetti on your screen to the first response email from your selected college. They explain how admission portals work, what to do if materials look “missing,” and why it’s normal for systems to take time to update. They also debunk common myths about submission timing, server crashes, and small errors, reminding parents and students alike that perfection isn’t the goal. With empathy and humor, they encourage parents and students to stay calm, be patient, and let the process unfold. Tune in for practical, sanity-saving advice on what really happens after you hit submit! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:58] Today’s topic: what to do after you hit submit. [0:02:39] What to expect from Common App and college confirmation emails. [0:03:52] Setting up admission portals to track your application status. [0:04:49] Why missing materials, like transcripts or test scores, aren’t cause for panic. [0:07:18] How colleges batch-process and match materials behind the scenes. [0:08:30] Why parents should avoid contacting colleges directly. [0:09:47] Making sure students pace themselves after hitting their first deadline. [0:10:41] The truth about submission timing and last-minute applications. [0:14:25] Debunking fears about Common App crashes on deadline day. [0:16:09] Why fear tactics don’t help students do their best work. [0:18:39] Reasons to consider letting your college text you. [0:19:54] Why small typos and formatting errors won’t hurt your application. [0:20:16] When and how to contact a college about a real error, like a wrong major. [0:21:22] Stay calm, patient, and let the process unfold. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Common App Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How much do those quirky one-line college application questions really matter? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith dive into the world of application videos to reveal what colleges are really looking for (and what not to stress about). Together, they share the inside story behind the creation of USC’s original Quick Takes section, why it spread to other schools, and how applicants should approach it today without overthinking. They also discuss the growing trend of 90-second admissions videos and provide advice on what to wear, how to prepare, and explain why being authentic wins every time. Tune in to learn how to nail your Quick Takes, ace your videos, and show colleges who you really are without the stress.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Introduction and the motivation behind today’s topic. [0:01:52] Learn what Quick Takes are and why students find them stressful. [0:03:37] What colleges still use Quick Takes and how the admissions landscape has shifted. [0:06:28] Cathy gives an example of a bad admission for a quick take. [0:07:02] Advice on how students should answer quick take questions. [0:09:46] How to use Quick Takes strategically to complement the admission process. [0:11:11] The rising popularity of short applicant videos and how they mirror Quick Takes. [0:12:48] Hear tips and recommendations for recording effective application videos. [0:13:44] Find out why over-editing, heavy scripting, or gimmicky videos do not work. [0:16:19] Learn the difference between authentic quirkiness and trying too hard.  [0:17:43] Cathy and Meredith’s final takeaways: have fun and remember to smile! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

After Cathy attended the 2025 National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) conference—where a session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student" drew such an overwhelming crowd that police had to intervene for safety reasons—it became clear just how urgent this topic has become. The so-called "standard strong student" is academically exceptional: straight As, rigorous coursework, impressive test scores, and meaningful extracurricular involvement. Yet, despite being "perfectly qualified," many of these students are still turned away from institutions with single-digit acceptance rates. In today’s episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack what these students often lack, why identifying institutional priorities is nearly impossible, and how families can regain a sense of control in the admissions process. Tune in to hear all this and more, including why authenticity and alignment are the real keys to success in selective college admissions. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:00] Meredith and Cathy welcome listeners to today’s episode. [0:02:20] Today’s topic of conversation: the plight of the standard strong student. [0:04:00] We define what a standard strong student is. [0:05:00] What they lack: institutional priorities. [0:05:30] The difference between admission and enrollment management. [0:09:00] Why institutional priorities are impossible to see. [0:09:45] How we can give control back to students and families. [0:13:45] They replicate school lists as an example of how to go about finding the right school. [0:17:30] The point: are students diving deep enough into researching colleges that align with their goals and values? [0:21:00] Widen the lens: not having the exact same college list and the exact same majors. [0:24:00] Encouraging critical self-reflection early. [0:25:40] Tips for taking back control for our standard strong students. [0:26:36] The “village” approach and the standard strong student. [0:28:04] Making space for authenticity to grow in our children. [0:29:30] An example of why we need to cultivate other interests. [0:34:40] Key takeaways from today’s episode. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: What Is An Admissions Hook? Things That Make Us Go Ew Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Chasing medals and certificates rarely tells the real story of a student’s growth. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith break down how to approach the activities and awards sections of college applications. They explain how some achievements, like character awards, stand out more than others, and why colleges care less about collecting trophies and more about demonstrating character, commitment, and impact. From deciding which awards to include to making sure each activity passes the “so what?” test, they share insider insights from years in admissions and coaching. Tune in for a clear, no-nonsense guide that can ease the stress of application season! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:44] Introducing today’s topic: Awards [0:03:08] Choosing which awards to highlight and where to list them. [0:05:00] Our thoughts on how to determine which awards are impressive. [0:05:56] Why kids shouldn’t try to win awards to be impressive. [0:07:21] The importance of showing meaningful impact. [0:08:36] Providing thoughtful answers during interviews. [0:11:10] Why we (and colleges) love a ‘coach’s award’ and character awards. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

It's the Conference of all Conferences in the world of admissions: the National Association of College Admission Counseling, or NACAC. As the primary governing body for all aspects of admission, NACAC sets the tone for the year. Today, Cathy and Meredith dive into Cathy’s latest experience at the NACAC Conference. They unpack the biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker, explore the emerging trends and patterns in admissions, and discuss how colleges are navigating and adapting to the use of AI. Plus, Cathy shares her infamous NACAC 2025 dress debacle and breaks down NACAC’s crazy session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student." For all this, and a candid discussion on the organization's professionalism, start listening now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] We introduce today’s topic of conversation. [0:02:00] Cathy sums up the conference in (roughly) four words. [0:04:00] The biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker. [0:10:40] What we’re hearing in terms of trends and patterns in admissions. [0:13:04] How colleges have adjusted applications as a result of AI. [0:15:00] We comment on the professionalism of the organization (NACAC). [0:19:30] The NACAC 2025 dress debacle. [0:21:30] The crazy session at NACAC 2025: the plight of the standard strong student. [0:23:00] A teaser for a future episode on a standard strong student. [0:26:10] Final thoughts on NACAC. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: NACAC Brené Brown Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Nagging is a common tactic used by parents to get their teens to do what they’re told. But how effective is it really? And could it be doing more harm than good? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are touching on the very relatable topic of nagging! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why parents tend to nag their teens, how effective it is, the damage it could do, and more! We delve into some more positive behaviours you can engage in instead of nagging, before discussing the power of helping your kids take control of their own schedules and setting natural consequences instead of nagging. Finally, we discuss how to find a balance between nagging and having no expectations of your children. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:38] Today’s topic of discussion: nagging.  [0:03:38] Why parents nag and why it sometimes works. [0:07:27] Nagging as a form of controlling behavior. [0:09:15] How effective nagging actually is. [0:13:42] What to do as a parent instead of nagging. [0:22:13] Empowering your kids to take control and setting consequences. [0:23:40] The danger of overcorrecting to the other extreme of nagging. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We are thrilled about everything we have lined up—and are still lining up—for Season five! To kick things off, we're talking about parenting essentials for the new school year. After watching a MasterClass on parenting, we knew we had to start this season by sharing some key principles to get you ready for another year. Join us as we delve into some key points from the MasterClass, including the importance of parental mental health, why what we model has a more profound effect on our children than the words we use, why parents need to stop optimizing, and how to identify optimization. We also highlight the definition of what “high stakes” with your child actually include, the importance of your relationship with your children, and why it’s crucial you love the heck out of them! For all this, and more, be sure to tune in now.   Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Welcome to episode one of season five! [0:01:30] Today’s topic of conversation: a master class in parenting. [0:03:50] Why the mental health and well-being of parents is not optional. [0:06:00] Go to therapy: it’s nothing new and has been happening for generations!  [0:08:00] You (the parent) are not solely your child; you have a separate identity. [0:09:30] We teach more with our behaviors than with our words. [0:12:30] Feeling joy and purpose without disappearing completely into your child’s life. [0:13:05] Stop optimizing: think of yourself as a shepherd and not an engineer. [0:14:45] How do you know if you’re optimizing as a parent? [0:17:15] Why the stakes aren’t nearly as high as you think they are. [0:17:50] Distinguish your kid from who they are as a human, from what they do. [0:18:45] We define what “high stakes” actually are (when it comes to your child). [0:22:33] The importance of your relationship with your child. [0:23:45] What we mean when we say a protective relationship. [0:26:45] Loving the hell out of your kids. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Personal Values Sort App Apple MasterClass Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We are back with season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Make sure you join us every week as we give you the low down on all the shit your teenagers won’t tell you, because trust us, there’s a lot of it! We are pumped and ready to line up some amazing things for you in this new season, and be sure to also let us know what you want to learn about. Whether that be parenting struggles or navigating difficult challenges with your teens, we don’t shy away from anything. Because, let’s face it, we’ve seen it all! Follow us and stay tuned for episode one!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:46] Welcome to season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! [0:01:30] Celebrating 50!  [0:03:00] Highlights of our summers. [0:05:25] What we’re excited about for season five. [0:06:20] The importance of reading. [0:07:30] Exciting things we will line up for season five. [0:08:30] Follow us, and tell your friends to follow us too, for season five! [0:09:00] Stay tuned for episode one! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Meredith Herrera Consulting Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

This episode marks the end of our fourth season, and we’re taking the opportunity to share some insights we’ve gained over this time, with a special focus on what we have seen over the school year. We discuss some of the trends that have continued and increased and new ones we’ve noticed in the kids we work with. We touch on the power of boredom and why the true practice of gentle parenting shouldn’t mean permissiveness. Our conversation also dives into themes we’ve noticed in the world of college admissions in the past year, including gender bias and funky waitlists. Lastly, we discuss some of our plans for the coming year, including celebrating Cathy’s 50th birthday cancer-free. Thanks for listening.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:48] Reflections on four years of hosting this podcast.  [0:02:40] How the past year has differed from previous years and what has stayed the same. [0:05:20] What has changed in middle and high school education. [0:07:09] A year-on-year trend around reading and speaking. [0:10:31] How boredom can facilitate finding what your kids are truly interested in. [0:11:38] Gentle parenting, consequences, and permissiveness. [0:15:55] Themes in the world of college admissions this year. [0:20:11] Funky waitlists and weird offers. [0:22:00] Our plans for the coming year.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Have you ever wondered what the exciting, challenging, and confusing teenage years look like from the perspective of someone who sees it first-hand? And have you considered how insightful that perspective can be for you as a parent? Today, we are joined by school counselor, Jake Fauver, to discuss the most common struggles teenagers face and how parents can help them navigate this transformative time. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the dangerous world of comparison for teens, how parents can become aware of internal struggles (even when it seems like their kid is fine), how to get boys to open up, and so much more! We delve into Jake’s role as a school counselor and hear about common issues he’s dealt with this week before discussing common myths about teenagers. Jake even shares some advice for parents about how to navigate difficult conversations with their teenagers. Finally, our guest discusses the importance of helping your teenagers see different perspectives. Thanks for listening in!   Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:19] Introducing today’s guest, school counselor, Jake Fauver.   [0:03:51] The danger of the world of comparison for teenagers.  [0:07:16] How parents can evaluate the mental health of their high-functioning teens. [0:10:31] Jake shares some tips for getting teenage boys to talk to people. [0:14:36] The kinds of challenges teenagers spoke to Jake about this week [0:19:13] Jake tells us exactly what he does as a school counselor.  [0:20:56] Some tips on how to navigate difficult conversations for parents of teens.  [0:24:52] Jake debunks some common myths about teenagers.  [0:33:12] When and how to challenge your teenagers’ perspectives.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Jake Fauver on LinkedIn Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The end of the school year can be a whirlwind, both for teens and their parents! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore how to help your teenager close out the academic year with reflection and a sense of purpose. They unpack why May is such an emotionally complex month, how to prioritize conversations about growth rather than grades, and why summer is an ideal time for deeper check-ins. From celebrating quiet wins to letting go of disappointments with compassion, this episode is packed with insights on how to shift the focus from performance to progress. You’ll also hear why these conversations aren’t about fixing problems but creating space for your teen to feel seen, heard, and supported. Tune in to learn how to wrap up the school year in a way that sets the stage for a stronger, more intentional start to the next one! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:52] What teens and parents might be feeling as the year wraps up. [0:03:05] Choosing the right time to check in with your kids (when they aren’t too busy). [0:04:49] Questions to help them reflect on the past year. [0:06:29] Why you should praise your kid for growth, not just achievement. [0:09:33] A story of growth and self-confidence that Cathy observed in one of her kids. [0:11:50] Meredith’s account of a moment of empathy that shifted one student’s perspective. [0:12:56] Helping teens process disappointment with acceptance and compassion. [0:16:04] Give kids space over summer for decompression and reflection. [0:16:56] Making time to set intentions for the new school year. [0:18:49] Final tips on how to create a space where kids can authentically talk about their feelings. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What do you do when your teen insists they can’t go to bed because they still have hours of homework left, and you know they desperately need sleep? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack the nightly standoff between academic pressure and teen well-being. They dig into what’s really happening when teens claim they “don’t have time,” and explore the common culprits behind late-night work sessions, from overscheduling and distraction to anxiety and perfectionism. You’ll hear how to play the short game and the long game simultaneously as a parent, when to hold the line, and when to ask better questions. This episode also offers ways to bring teens into problem-solving, prioritize family values, and rethink what “success” should actually look like. Tune in for insights, empathy, and real-world strategies, plus a few rogue metaphors and laughs along the way! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:22] The sleep vs. homework dilemma teens and parents face. [0:07:09] How parents can help their kids balance sleep with school work. [0:14:09] Identifying the causes behind “I don’t have enough time” claims. [0:15:51] How mental health issues like perfectionism or ADHD can impact homework time. [0:16:59] The hidden time drain: distractions teens don’t realize are happening. [0:18:28] Why teens need real breaks after long days, not just go straight to homework. [0:21:12] Modern teen schedules compared to previous generations. [0:22:32] Why kids are overscheduled due to selective college pressures. [0:23:17] Using family values to guide academic and well-being decisions. [0:25:10] Helping teens build problem-solving skills instead of just enforcing rules. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The college journey puts parents and counselors in a delicate position: walking the fine line between dream supporter and dream crusher. Join Cathy and Meredith in their post-Spring Break episode as they dive into how you can both encourage and champion your kids while helping them maintain a healthy degree of balance while crafting their dream school list. They unpack the difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process is, how to balance goals and ambition with reality, the danger of dangling the carrot of a highly selective school in front of your children, and explore the reasons why trying (and applying to all the highly selective schools in the country) can be problematic! For all this, and as always, much more, be sure to tune in now! Thanks for listening! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:10] What we got up to for Spring Break 2025. [0:02:10] The topic of today’s episode: dream supporter vs dream crusher. [0:04:00] A common tightrope parents often have to walk. [0:05:30] Identifying schools with higher acceptance rates that still reflect the qualities and characteristics of your child’s top-choice, highly selective schools. [0:06:15] The difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process truly is. [0:07:45] Unpacking what a “Dream School” is: balancing goals and ambition with reality. [0:08:50] The danger of using highly selective colleges as a carrot for students to work hard. [0:09:30] Why the “reality” part of college admissions is hard for parents. [0:12:40] Parents displacing the dream-crushing conversation: when it’s okay and not. [0:17:00] Can you support the dream but also balance the fine line of reality? [0:18:40] Where, as a parent, are you willing to disappoint your child, and where are you not? [0:19:40] Encouraging your child to go after what they want with a healthy dose of balance. [0:21:00] What’s wrong with trying? (Applying to all the highly selective schools in the country.) [0:22:55] What supporting the dream does and does not mean (in our opinions). Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We recently read a Forbes article about why your kid needs to attend a competitive summer program, and we have some thoughts. Join us as we get the facts straight about the article in question and break down what you need to be aware of when it comes to these expensive summer programs that claim to give your child an edge when applying for elite colleges. Find out how many of these programs misrepresent themselves (like by suggesting they are more selective than they are), the handful of programs that are credible, and how to tell the difference. We also discuss how these articles are specifically targeted at parents and teens, why their contribution to the media ecosystem is so harmful, and how to recognize when you are being marketed to. Tune in to get the full scoop on what to be aware of when it comes to these summer programs and their bold claims! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:42] The Forbes article we are discussing and why we are annoyed by it. [0:02:30] Article points we agreed with and the benefits of a program like this. [0:02:56] Why a summer program won’t necessarily help you stand out at elite colleges. [0:03:53] A breakdown of how many of these programs misrepresent themselves. [0:05:43] Clarifying which summer school programs are as selective as they claim. [0:08:36] How parents can navigate misinformation, especially regarding these programs. [0:10:37] A reminder that you cannot control the outcomes of highly selective colleges. [0:11:57] Critiques on how dishonest and exploitative these types of articles can be. [0:14:37] What truly matters for your child’s long-term development. [0:16:50] How you can get in touch with questions and suggestions about today’s topic. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: 'Why Your High Schooler Should Attend A Competitive Academic Summer Program—And Which Ones You Can Still Apply To'COSMOS Pre-College ProgramSh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell YouSh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram