Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

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Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Cary Tennis

41 episodes

1 hour ago

It's been almost two years since I did a podcast here at the Since You Asked podcast station, and geez I've been paying Buzzsprout every month all this time, anyway, here in this rather casual talky-type podast there's a song, and I talk a little about my passion for music and songwriting and how it goes here in Castiglion Fiorentino. Not really a Since You Asked column, this is not that, it's more just a warmup. But once I get some Holiday Angst-type letters I'll do podcasts of my columns fr...

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Society & Culture,

Health & Fitness,

All content for Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis is the property of Cary Tennis and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

It's been almost two years since I did a podcast here at the Since You Asked podcast station, and geez I've been paying Buzzsprout every month all this time, anyway, here in this rather casual talky-type podast there's a song, and I talk a little about my passion for music and songwriting and how it goes here in Castiglion Fiorentino. Not really a Since You Asked column, this is not that, it's more just a warmup. But once I get some Holiday Angst-type letters I'll do podcasts of my columns fr...

Show more...

Society & Culture,

Health & Fitness,

Episodes (20/41)

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Cary's Podcast-With-a-Song! December 1, 2023. Just getting back in the groove

It's been almost two years since I did a podcast here at the Since You Asked podcast station, and geez I've been paying Buzzsprout every month all this time, anyway, here in this rather casual talky-type podast there's a song, and I talk a little about my passion for music and songwriting and how it goes here in Castiglion Fiorentino. Not really a Since You Asked column, this is not that, it's more just a warmup. But once I get some Holiday Angst-type letters I'll do podcasts of my columns fr...

2 years ago

14 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Come to Italy May 12-22, 2022 and have a ball at our writing workshop

May 12 to 22, this year, 2022, I will be hosting another of our fabulous writing workshops here in beautiful Castiglion Fiorentino at lovely Le Santucce. The Amherst Writers and Artists method we use in the workshops has been a godsend to thousands around the world who want to have a richer, fuller experience writing. Whether you write to sharpen and enlarge your experience of life or you do it for a living, this is a great way to boost your strength as a writer, to go deeper, to feel greater...

3 years ago

12 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Are you trying to make me sick?

The moment has come to tell our unvaccinated friends and relatives the truth: Their refusal to be vaccinated is killing people. It is morally wrong. The moment has come to get in their faces, to reveal ourselves passionately, how deeply we care about this, to plead, to beg, to negotiate, to use whatever strength we have left to do our part to help mankind stop this pandemic. Like it or not, each of us has a moral responsibility to speak out, to engage passionately with others, to ...

4 years ago

18 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Is sex a "disgusting, wicked drive"?

Today I respond to the below comment from someone who identifies himself as "Ugly hunchback," posted on last week's column, as though it were a question. It expresses suffering for which I propose an antidote. The author of the comment was apparently alerted to this column by my 2006 Salon.com column on suicide which after 15 years still attracts fresh readers and comments as recent as April 2021. I don't quote the whole comment here, only mainly the part that concerned me. The commente...

4 years ago

26 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Is my boyfriend cheating on me?

Hi Cary, I have huge trust issues and it’s affecting my relationship with my partner of 3 years. My trust issues have stemmed from my childhood for many different reasons and to top it off, last year I found out my step dad had been abusing me. My partner has never given me a reason to not trust him. He says he has his morals and knows deep down he has never done anything wrong. His dad cheated on his mum and he has a suspicion his ex cheated on him. But there is something lingering over me a...

4 years ago

12 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Finishing School: The story behind the workshops … and the book

In 2004 I was finishing up an article for Salon.com about George W. Bush and the upcoming presidential election, when I thought I was having a heart attack. I hit “send” and then I dialed 911. I called my wife from the ambulance. I spent the night in the hospital. Tests showed I was not having a heart attack. I was having a panic attack. That whole episode got me thinking: Maybe I was a little too stressed out. I needed to find a more humane approach to creativity, that would stress communi...

4 years ago

22 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

It's been a heck of a week!

Hi everybody this is Cary Tennis, it’s Thursday, April 22, 2021 and I’m exhausted. I gotta tell ya. What a week. What a few weeks. Living in Italy but I’m watching CNN and the news constantly and I gotta tell ya, I’m full of hope for the possibilities of police reform in the United States and I’m also just emotionally exhausted. And I have to tell you it’s not just the political situation in the US, it’s also some sad news I received on Sunday when I was incidentally celebrating 32 year...

4 years ago

6 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Voting Rights, Democracy, Hope, Optimism, and the "Arc of the Moral Universe"

Sen. Raphael Warnock of Georgia said this Friday about the fight for voting rights: "Hope is a little different from optimism. Hope is the recognition that, yeah, we are in a serious fight for what is good, what is true, what is righteous, and evil is well financed and determined. I understand that. But you know, as bad as this bill is, and it's terrible, it would be worse if it were not for the fact that people stood up, and made noise about it. So I don't want people to underestimate the po...

4 years ago

38 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

My Mother the Narcissist

Dear Cary, I hate my family of origin. I recently discovered that I grew up in a mostly narcissistic family, with a narc mother who subtly but persistently projected her own guilt and shame and anger about her situation onto us, her six children. ... As children, we knew we were poor, were ashamed about it, and felt something was terribly messed up about this situation. As a result, we - especially the youngest three kids (ages 8, 14 and 16 at that time) felt such a degree o...

4 years ago

25 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

The Psychedelic Madness of Covid-19: A Personal Journey

David Talbot, founder and former editor in chief of Salon.com, has a new site called TheDavidTalbotShow.com, and he asked me to write for him a piece about my stay in the hospital in Arezzo and my crazy adventures recovering from Covid-19. You can read that piece on his site, where you can find the full, unexpurgated tale of my incredibly strange delusions and hallucinations, the result of the drugs I was taking, the isolation, etc. This podcast started out to be about that,...

4 years ago

39 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

The Massage Parlor Murders: What can you do?

This is not an advice column. This is commentary. Robert Aaron Long, 21 years old, of Woodstock, Georgia, was arrested Tuesday in the murders of eight people, six of whom were women of Asian descent working in massage parlors. Initial media reports indicated that he claimed he did it because he was a sex addict. Sex addiction is not a trivial matter. But right now his claim feels like a distraction. So in keeping with my practice in the Since You Asked advice column, I would like to off...

4 years ago

3 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

In Love with a Memory

Dear Cary, I’ve loved the same boy since I was a teenager, knowing that for lots of reasons we would never end up together. Our love has endured and we’ve had decades of meaningful time together for its own sake, without the pressure of everyday partnership. The pandemic has brought us far closer to one another, but, in doing so, has led me to a painful realization: I never let go of my teenage hopes for him. Support the show

4 years ago

18 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Learning from Delirium: The Madness of Covid-19 PTSD

Hi Folks! Wow, was I insane! This week's podcast dives deep into the fantastical delirium I experienced in the intensive care unit of San Donato hospital in Arezzo, Italy. I'll be publishing a longer prose version soon and will let you know when that is available. But for now, take a listen to this. It's pretty wild! I mean, I was living in a completely unreal world, and as I gradually pulled out of it, I felt a new and urgent compassion for people with schizophrenia and psychosis. Now I know...

4 years ago

31 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

What is service? Being a senator should be less attractive and more humbling

I was still thinking about the reasons senators would find it impossible to act on their conscience when it comes to decisions that might threaten their chances of reelection, and I just thought, well, the job should have less perks, be less of an ego trip, more of a sacrifice, like the armed services. The operative word being service. Support the show

4 years ago

3 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

And finally, because you've waited so long ... a little song for you.

I wrote this song a few weeks ago and sang it to my wife on Valentines Day. Support the show

4 years ago

2 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Right Now, this is what's going on: Maybe I will continue the Advice column! I just need people to send me letters!

It's been a crazy couple of weeks but it just occurred to me that all I need to do to get more questions for the column is invite people on social media to send me questions! And also, I almost forgot, also starting up an online Finishing School session! Support the show

4 years ago

5 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Don't get Covid-19 no matter what you do, Castiglion Fiorentino is now the *Oakland* of Florence, I spent the morning pruning the roses and other oddball notions, confessions, etc.

This podcast is an exhortation to keep your guard up during the next few weeks as conditions improve and the temptation will arise to relax on the coronavirus protocols, and also just a kind of rambling commentary on Italy, on myself, and on the future of the column, that is, an advice column without letters is not an advice column, it's just commentary. And though today is gorgeous and I'm happy as a kitten in the sun, it's been a kind of sucky two weeks. As explained in the pod...

4 years ago

12 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Finding the Faith to Act on Conscience

I am watching the second impeachment trial of Donald Trump and so my podcast asks, "How do you reach a point where your conscience is overwhelming and you must make the leap? How do you get to that point? How do you get to that point? How could these senators get to that point, where the conscience ... blooms, where all the fear subsides, and the conscience floods the spirit, floods the mind, floods the brain, and gives one the courage to just do the right thing. Just do the right thing!" ...

4 years ago

28 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

The Post-Covid Acute Renal Failure Happy Kidneys Diet

On a lighter note, my friends, let’s talk about Foods That Are Good for the Kidneys! Having been out of the hospital for six weeks now, having spent five weeks in the hospital with Covid-19 and another disorder which was life-threatening—I was critical, I was near death for a while—I’m back and it’s just dawning on me now, as I read the medical reports, that I had acute renal failure, and so I have to change my frame of reference now, to integrate the fact that I am now a post-ren...

4 years ago

19 minutes

Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

I cry for my country

In Castiglion Fiorentino, in the beautiful Tuscan hills, I’m looking out across the continent, I’m looking out at the country that I love, that I was born in, the country that my father fought for and my uncles fought for, my grandparents fought for, I’m looking out, and I cry for my country. I cry for the people suffering, I cry for the people who suffered for four years under this fool of a maniac named Donald Trump, I cry for those who’ve died of COVID-19 who didn’t have to die … I cry for...

4 years ago

12 minutes