The name's Bond, Pierce Brosnan. That's right, this week we're finally covering the legendary Goldeneye (1995), in which our suave superspy dodges bullets, thighs, and sexual harassment lawsuits while desperately trying to formulate a plan beyond 'getting into a room'.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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What happens when a plane crashes in the jungle, with a baby its only survivor? Well, you get George of the Jungle (1997). And whilst he isn't able to string a complete sentence together without the assistance of his ape companion, his more primal drives very much survive the crash. Join us as George smashes his way through everything in the jungle, including; trees, rock faces, Leslie Mann, and at the very least an elephant and a gorilla.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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In what has become a competition to find the worst movies of all time, Evan has made an epic choice. Dreamcatcher (2003) is basically just Alien, but where the aliens shoot out your back end. Even with a twist that rivals Dusk Till Dawn, we cannot in good conscience recommend this movie.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Light up a ciggy and wake up your depressed wife, it's time to watch The Lawnmower Man! Also known as 'The worst film we have ever watched', this film is a heartwarming tale of ambition, self-belief, corporate corruption and BEES.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed. And then they continued though the desert, and then through some rubble, and then past some grey buildings. Every now and then a laser blasts into the Dark Tower. Rinse and repeat. This is The Dark Tower (2017), a terrible movie based on one of the best book series of all time. But it turns out if you talk about something you love, it also becomes terrible.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Don't be fooled by the shelves upon shelves of useless crap, Leland Gaunt will run down to his little basement to get the thing you most desire in this world. In Stephen King's Needful Things (1993), the Devil (maybe) comes to Castle Rock to sow discord between the good townsfolk. And whilst he proves he can see the future, he fails to predict just how boring two hours of cinema can be.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Who hates you and who do you love?!! Well, he's not here this week so join Professor Carl and Professor Sam as they review 1987's The Running Man.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Stephen Spring continues with an amaizing trip through middle America. Where we're going, we don't need seatbelts, airbags, or any awareness of children standing in the road...
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In one of Stephen King's most famous tales, creepy neighbor (Jud) takes Dr Louis Creed on a tour of the local cursed Pet Sematary. After a tragic accident on America's busiest road, Louis hopes to revive his soup-of-a-son by pouring him into a cat-shaped hole.
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In this next addition we take a look at Gremlins 2 (1990), one of the worst sequels of all time. And don't worry, I know we've been talking about Groundhog Day a lot, but this isn't that again. Definitely Gremlins 2... definitely.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Ever wondered what it would be like to adopt a 30cm high mouse, bring it home to your son, and then make two movies about it? Wonder no longer as we dive into... *click*.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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In Groundhog Day (1993), Phil must learn to be a nicer boy. He starts by ploughing everyone in town, then spends time learning as much as he can. The most important knowledge he gains is that Rita likes boats but hates the ocean... which of course is the key to her panties.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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This week we're covering the absolute classic Face/Off (1997), A.K.A. what happens when you give John Woo an unlimited budget, a half-baked idea and far too many lasers.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Having been rejected from the Six Chicks, Jenna travels into the future to wreak havoc on the multiverse. First she forces her only friend to betray their company, then she tries to break up the marriage of her former best friend. When he rejects her, she travels back in time to make sure she's the only choice.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Josh's poorly phrased wish, to the world's most literal Zoltar, means he must live 6 weeks as a 30 year old man. In that time he snakes the position of vice president at a toy company, where he blows minds with a bug that transforms into a robot and gets groomed by the resident sleep-around Susan. Whilst we all loved Big (1988), we couldn't quite come to terms with the... implied relations.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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"At an Antarctic research station, a crack team of mostly not scientists discover some kind of Dog Thing. And whilst obviously not a dog, The Thing (1982) goes onto become everyone else, and nobody knows who is and who isn't a Thing. Maybe everyone is a Thing, we don't know... that's very clear in this episode."
- Evan Thing, 2024.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Crack open the Christmas Carlings under the New Year Tree! It's January and time for a new theme: New Year, New You. This episode, we watched 2003's Freaky Friday, a movie that takes place in one day but will surely have terrible long term consequences for many involved. We follow Jamie Lee-Curtis and Lindsay Lohan as they ruin careers, futures and lives all in the pursuit of selflessness...
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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The best way to decide whether to watch Scrooged (1988) is with a simple question: "Have you ever seen A Christmas Carol?"
> Yes: No need to watch this then, you've got all the bases covered.
> No: Oh, then go watch that instead because it's that but worse.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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All round good guy, Jack Frost, is raised from the dead by a mournful toot of a magical harmonica to learn the very Christmassy lesson that it isn't very Christmassy to rise from the dead on Christmas.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Divorce papers and a traumatising custody battle. To kick off the festive season, Evan Jonny and Sam break down a truly dark Christmas classic, starring Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, and other criminals too!
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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