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Sober Psychology
Michael Cantwell
61 episodes
3 days ago
A mental health podcast with a focus on men's mental health, substance abuse, recovery, and healing. Honest conversations to break stigma and inspire hope for all on their journey. We recover out loud so fewer suffer in silence. Episodes posted weekly - subscribe today!
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Mental Health
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All content for Sober Psychology is the property of Michael Cantwell and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
A mental health podcast with a focus on men's mental health, substance abuse, recovery, and healing. Honest conversations to break stigma and inspire hope for all on their journey. We recover out loud so fewer suffer in silence. Episodes posted weekly - subscribe today!
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Mental Health
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/61)
Sober Psychology
You Aren’t In Love, You’re Obsessed (The Limerence Trap)

Let’s be honest: Are you actually in love with them? Or are you just addicted to the pain of chasing them?

In this episode of Sober Psychology, we are breaking down Limerence—the psychological term for when "having a crush" turns into a full-blown obsession.

I see this constantly in recovery. We stop drinking, but then we start using people as our drug. We confuse anxiety for passion and toxicity for "soul ties." But science tells us that Limerence is closer to OCD and Addiction than it is to true love.

Today, we are stripping away the fantasy. We are talking about the "Frustration Attraction" (why rejection makes you want them more), the danger of falling in love with a "Fantasy Bond," and the hard Biblical truth that turning a human into your source of happiness isn't romance—it’s Idolatry.

If you are stuck in a loop of checking their location, analyzing their texts, and begging for crumbs of affection... you need a detox.

______

👓 IN THIS EPISODE WE COVER:

• The Diagnosis: The difference between Healthy Love and Limerence (Obsession).

• The Neuroscience: How "Frustration Attraction" hijacks your dopamine system.

• The Fantasy Bond: Why you fall in love with "Potential" instead of Reality.

• Biblical Truth: The story of Leah and Jacob, and the danger of making a human your God.

• The Solution: Why "No Contact" is the only way to sober up.______

👇 THE CHALLENGE: Are you ready to stop worshipping a ghost? If you are brave enough to block them and choose your sanity, comment "IDOL SMASHED" below.

______

👍 SUPPORT THE CHANNEL: If this hard truth helped you, please SUBSCRIBE and hit the LIKE button. It helps us get this message to the people who need it most.

______

🔗 CONNECT WITH SOBER PSYCHOLOGY:

Instagram

TikTok

YouTube

______

#Limerence #SoberPsychology #LoveAddiction #ChristianCounseling #RelationshipAdvice #NoContact #Obsession #Psychology #FaithAndMentalHealth #Breakups ______

⏳ TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - The Hook: Love vs. Addiction

1:04 - Intro: What is Limerence?

2:08 - The Neuroscience: Why Rejection Spikes Dopamine

3:29 - The Fantasy Bond (Falling for an Avatar)

4:19 - The Biblical Truth: Limerence is Idolatry (The Story of Leah)

5:48 - How to Break the Cycle (No Contact)

6:50 - Conclusion: You Are Starving at a Banquet

Show more...
4 days ago
8 minutes 1 second

Sober Psychology
Generational Trauma: Epigenetics, The Mother Wound, & The Shadow

You swore you would never be like them. You promised yourself you wouldn't yell. You wouldn't drink. You wouldn't be absent. But then, in a moment of stress, you open your mouth and their voice comes out.

In this 20-minute masterclass, I'll dissect the biology and theology of Generational Trauma. We aren't just talking about "bad habits." We're talking about Epigenetics—the scientific proof that your grandfather's trauma is living in your DNA.

We explore Family Systems Theory and why you became the "Black Sheep" (Identified Patient), the Jungian concept of the Shadow Father, and the devastating impact of the Devouring Mother. We also deconstruct the "Fantasy Bond" that keeps you loyal to your abusers and provide a practical toolkit (The 90-Second Rule) to finally stop the bleeding.

If you're terrified of passing your dysfunction to your children, this episode is your manual for breaking the curse.

🟢 Follow for more hard-hitting psychology & truth!🟢 Subscribe to YouTube: @SoberPsychology------

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (The Roadmap to Healing)

0:00 - The Hook: I Became My Father

1:45 - The Ghost in the Nursery: Why Parenting Triggers You

3:03 - Epigenetics: The Biology of Trauma (Cherry Blossom Study)

4:39 - Attachment Theory: Secure, Anxious, & Avoidant Styles

7:06 - The Black Sheep: Why Your Family Sabotages Your Healing (Family Systems)

9:11 - The Shadow Father: Integrating Your Rage

10:44 - The Mother Wound: The Devouring Mother vs. The Dead Mother

12:35 - The Prodigal Father: The Theology of Forgiveness

14:18 - The Fantasy Bond: Why You Defend Your Abusers (Stockholm Syndrome)

15:35 - The Toolkit: The 90-Second Rule & Rupture/Repair

17:45 - Conclusion: The Legacy You Leave------

🧠 KEY CONCEPTS EXPLAINED

  • Epigenetics: The study of how behaviors and environment can cause changes that affect the way your genes work, effectively passing trauma down to future generations.

  • The Black Sheep (Identified Patient): In Family Systems Theory, the person selected to act out the family's dysfunction to maintain "homeostasis" or balance.

  • The Mother Wound: The psychological injury resulting from a mother who was either emotionally absent ("Dead Mother") or overly enmeshed ("Devouring Mother").

  • The Fantasy Bond: A defense mechanism where a child idealizes their abusive parent and blames themselves to maintain a sense of safety and hope.

Show more...
1 week ago
18 minutes 53 seconds

Sober Psychology
Why You’re Lonely (Not "Healed") | The Hyper-Independence Trap

Let’s be honest: You tell everyone you are "protecting your peace" and setting "boundaries." You post about being in your "villain era." But deep down? You are just lonely.

In this episode of Sober Psychology, we are exposing the lie of Hyper-Independence.

As a psychologist in training, I see this constantly. We live in a culture that treats needing people like a weakness. We have convinced ourselves that cutting everyone off is "growth," when usually, it's just a trauma response. It’s Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment wearing a tuxedo.

Today, we are stripping away the "therapy speak" excuses and getting to the raw truth. We’re talking about why you feel cringe when you’re vulnerable (the "Vulnerability Hangover"), why you ghost people when things get real, and what the Bible actually says about carrying your own burdens versus carrying a boulder.

If you are tired of being the "strong friend" who is secretly drowning, this video is your permission slip to put the armor down.

____

In this episode, we cover:

  • The Psychology: Why "I don't need anyone" is actually a trauma response (Self-Reliance Syndrome).
  • Attachment Theory: Understanding the Dismissive-Avoidant Style.
  • The "Vulnerability Hangover": Why you want to hide after opening up.
  • Weaponized Therapy Speak: Are you setting boundaries or building a bunker?
  • Biblical Truth: Galatians 6 and the difference between a "load" and a "burden".
  • The Solution: How to start practicing "Micro-Dependencies" today.

👇 The Challenge:Are you ready to leave the bunker? Text ONE person today and tell them something real. Then comment "I SENT THE TEXT" below so I know you're doing the work.

____

Support the Channel:If this video hit home, please FOLLOW. It helps us get this message to more people who are stuck in the trap of isolation.

____

Connect with Sober Psychology:

  • Instagram
  • TikTok
  • YouTube

____Timestamps:

0:00 - The Hook: You Aren't Healed, You're Lonely

1:20 - Intro: The "Strong Friend" Myth

2:20 - Attachment Theory: Why You Run From Intimacy

3:31 - Weaponized Therapy Speak (Fake Boundaries)

4:35 - The Vulnerability Hangover

5:23 - What the Bible Says About Independence

6:40 - How to Fix It (Micro-Dependencies)

7:37 - Conclusion: The Bunker is Hell

Show more...
2 weeks ago
8 minutes 43 seconds

Sober Psychology
The "Nice Guy" Syndrome: Why You Are Secretly Manipulative

Are you exhausted from doing everything for everyone? Do you feel resentful when people don't return your favors?

In this 60-minute deep dive, I'll expose the dark psychology of the "Nice Guy" Syndrome and People Pleasing. We aren't just talking about being polite; we are talking about how your "kindness" is often a manipulative strategy to avoid conflict and buy love.

We break down Covert Contracts (the hidden agreements you make in your head), the Fawn Trauma Response, and why Jesus wasn't actually "nice." We also explore Locus of Control, the Extinction Burst (what happens when you finally say "No"), and why the "Nice Guy" strategy is actually destroying your dating life.

If you are ready to kill the martyr, set real boundaries, and stop living for everyone else's approval, this episode is the episode you need.

🟢 Follow for more hard-hitting psychology & truth!

____

🧠 KEY CONCEPTS EXPLAINEDCovert Contracts: Unspoken agreements where you do something "nice" for someone expecting a specific reaction in return, leading to resentment when they don't comply.

The Fawn Response: A trauma response (alongside Fight, Flight, Freeze) where a person seeks safety by appeasing and pleasing the threat/abuser.

Locus of Control: The psychological concept of whether you believe you control your own life (Internal) or if you believe outside forces/people control your worth (External).Extinction Burst: A temporary increase in negative behavior (tantrums, guilt trips) from others when you first stop reinforcing their behavior (i.e., when you set a boundary).

____📚 REFERENCES & RESOURCES
- No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover- The Shadow concepts by Carl Jung- The Karpman Drama Triangle (Rescuer, Victim, Persecutor)- Evolutionary Psychology of Mating Strategies- Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7, Matthew 21 (Jesus in the Temple)

____Disclaimer: I am a psychologist in training. This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you are struggling with severe mental health issues, please seek a licensed professional.

____TIMESTAMPS (Jump to the Hard Truth):

0:00 - The Hook: The Nice Guy is a Liar

1:37 - The Fawn Response: Why Trauma Makes You a People Pleaser

2:44 - Covert Contracts: How You Manipulate with Generosity

3:39 - The Validation Vacuum: Internal vs. External Locus of Control

5:01 - The Shadow: The Monster in the Basement

6:04 - Family Systems: The Parentified Child

7:09 - Dating Psychology: Why Women Reject "Nice Guys" (Evolutionary Biology)

8:15 - Biblical Truth: Why Jesus Wasn't "Nice" (Meekness vs. Weakness)

8:42 - The Power of "NO" (Boundaries)

9:55 - Assertiveness Training

10:49 - The Extinction Burst: What Happens When You Finally Stand Up

11:32 - Be a Monster (Then Control It)

13:34 - Conclusion

Show more...
3 weeks ago
14 minutes

Sober Psychology
Why Peace Feels Boring (And Why You Are Addicted to Chaos)

You say you just want a peaceful life. You say you are tired of the drama. But be honest: The moment your life actually gets quiet, you start to panic.

In this episode of Sober Psychology, we are tackling Chaos Addiction. If you grew up in survival mode, peace doesn't feel safe—it feels suspicious. Your brain is literally addicted to the cortisol and adrenaline of a crisis.

I’m Michael, a psychologist in training, and today we are breaking down why you self-sabotage relationships, why healthy partners feel "boring" (The Slot Machine Effect), and why you keep running back to the burning building. We are looking at this through the lens of neuroscience and Biblical truth—from the Israelites missing their slavery in Egypt to the "Sarah Syndrome" of trying to force God's hand.

If you are ready to stop burning down your own house just to feel the heat, this episode is for you.

In this episode we cover:

  • The Neuroscience: Why your amygdala interprets safety as "boredom."
  • Relationships: The "Slot Machine Effect" (Intermittent Reinforcement) and why you confuse anxiety for chemistry.
  • Identity Crisis: Who are you if you aren't fighting for your life?
  • Biblical Truth: The story of Sarah and Hagar, and why impatience creates generational chaos.
  • The Solution: How to practice "Exposure Therapy for Boredom."

Connect with Sober Psychology:

Instagram

TikTok

YouTube


Timestamps:

  • 0:00 - You Are a Liar (Why Peace Feels Suspicious)
  • 1:00 - Intro/ Welcome
  • 1:51 - The Cortisol Junkie (Neuroscience)
  • 2:53 - Repetition Compulsion (Feud/ Re-enacting Trauma)
  • 3:35 - The Slot Machine Effect (Intermittent Reinforcement/ Relationships)
  • 5:03 - The Identity Crisis (Who Are You Without the Fight?)
  • 5:57 - Theology is Slavery (Exodus/ Romanticizing the Past)
  • 7:05 - The Sarah Syndrome (Impatience Creates Chaos)
  • 7:58 - The Solution (Exposure Therapy/ Naming the Game)
  • 8:54 - Conclusion (You Deserve a Boring Life)

#ChaosAddiction #SoberPsychology #TraumaBonding #RelationshipAdvice #ChristianCounseling #MentalHealth #SelfSabotage #Psychology #BiblicalTruth #IntermittentReinforcement

Show more...
1 month ago
9 minutes 46 seconds

Sober Psychology
Why You're Lonely: The Psychology of "Situationships" & The Sex Recession

Why is everyone so lonely? Why has the number of men with zero romantic partners tripled in the last decade?

In this episode of Sober Psychology, I'll dissect the "Sex Recession" and the death of modern intimacy. We aren't just talking about bad dates; we are talking about how technology, pornography, and the "Cult of Self-Love" are chemically castrating your ability to bond.

From the neuroscience of the Coolidge Effect to the Scotch Tape Theory of heartbreak, we break down exactly why you feel empty even when you have endless options. We also dive deep into the Peter Pan Syndrome (Puer Aeternus), why "Situationships" are for cowards, and the Biblical theology of becoming "One Flesh."

If you are tired of ghosting, scrolling, and feeling numb, this 60-minute deep dive is the hard truth you need to hear.

🟢 Subscribe for more hard-hitting psychology & truth: ⁨ ⁨@SoberPsychology⁩  _____________________________________________________________🧠 KEY CONCEPTS EXPLAINED

- The Coolidge Effect: The biological phenomenon where dopamine surges in response to novelty (new partners), leading to the desensitization of attraction to long-term partners.

- The Scotch Tape Theory: A metaphor for how repeated casual sexual encounters damage the neurochemical receptors (Vasopressin/Oxytocin) required for deep, long-term bonding.

- Peter Pan Syndrome (Puer Aeternus): The Jungian archetype of the adult man who refuses to grow up, opting for the fantasy of potential over the reality of commitment.

- Avoidant Attachment: The psychological style of craving intimacy but pushing it away the moment it becomes real or vulnerable._____________________________________________________________📚 REFERENCES & RESOURCES

- The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz

- The Peter Pan Syndrome by Dr. Dan Kiley

- The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

- General Social Survey (GSS) Data on the "Sex Recession"

- Carl Jung on the Puer Aeternus

- Scripture: Genesis 2:24, John 15:13

_____________________________________________________________Chapters:

0:00 - The Hook: You Are Eating Plastic Food

2:00 - The Paradox of Choice: Why You Can't Pick a Spouse

3:44 - The Coolidge Effect: How Porn Destroys Intimacy

5:49 - The Scotch Tape Theory: The Neuroscience of Bonding & Heartbreak

8:15 - The "Situationship" Epidemic & Avoidant Attachment

9:58 - The Cult of "Self-Love": Why Narcissism is Disguised as Wellness

12:11 - The Theology of "Into-Me-See" (Naked & Ashamed)

14:02 - Peter Pan Syndrome: Why Men Won't Grow Up (Jungian Psychology)

16:03 - The Death of Polarity (Masculine vs. Feminine)

17:39 - The Solution: Radical Monogamy

_____________________________________________________________Disclaimer: I am a psychologist in training. This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you are struggling with sex addiction or depression, please seek a licensed professional.

Show more...
1 month ago
19 minutes

Sober Psychology
Why You Are Addicted to Your Own Suffering (And How to Stop)

Here is a hard truth that might make you want to click away: You might be in love with your own pain.

In this episode of Sober Psychology, we aren't sugarcoating anything. I’m pulling back the curtain on the Victim Mentality—the psychological state where we define ourselves by what happened to us, rather than what we can do about it.

As a psychologist in training, I see this pattern constantly. We confuse having trauma (which isn't your fault) with staying a victim (which is a choice). We are going to dive into the psychology of Secondary Gain (what you actually get out of staying stuck) and look at the brutal, life-changing question Jesus asked the paralyzed man in John 5: "Do you want to get well?"

If you feel like life is constantly happening to you, or you’re waiting for an apology that’s never coming before you move forward, this video is your wake-up call. The cage is unlocked. It’s time to walk out.

In this episode, we cover:

- The Difference: Trauma vs. Victim Identity.

- Psychology 101: What is "Secondary Gain" and "Learned Helplessness"?

- The Biblical Truth: Why Jesus refused to pity the man at the Pool of Bethesda.

- Neuroscience: How you can literally become addicted to the stress chemicals of your own drama.

- The Solution: Radical Ownership and how to stop "cuddling your trauma."

👇 Are you ready to pick up your mat? Let me know in the comments.

Resources & Scripture Mentioned:

- John 5 (The Healing at the Pool)

- Martin Seligman’s Studies on Learned Helplessness

- Locus of Control Theory

Support the Channel: If this episode challenged you, please SUBSCRIBE and hit the BELL notification. We drop hard-hitting mental health content from a Christian perspective every week.

Connect with Michael & Sober Psychology:

Instagram

TikTok

YouTube


Chapters:

  • 0:00 - Intro
  • 2:10 - The Psychology of Secondary Gain (Why We Stay Sick)
  • 3:25 - The Biblical Smackdown (Jesus and the Invalid)
  • 5:00 - The Addiction to Cortisol
  • 5:40 - The Solution/ Conclusion

#VictimMentality #SoberPsychology #ChristianCounseling #MentalHealthAwareness #ToughLove #BiblicalTruth #TraumaRecovery #Psychology #RadicalOwnership #John5 #FaithAndMentalHealth

Show more...
1 month ago
7 minutes 30 seconds

Sober Psychology
Why You’re Miserable (The Science of Cheap Dopamine)

Why can't you sit still? Why does silence feel terrifying? In this episode of Sober Psychology, I'll dive deep into the neuroscience of addiction, the "Dopamine Cartel," and why your phone is making you clinically anhedonic. We break down Dr. Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation, the famous "Rat Park" experiment, and the Biblical theology of idolatry and stillness. If you feel burned out, bored, and addicted to the scroll, this episode is your wake-up call.

Topics Covered:

  • The Opponent
  • Process Theory (Pleasure vs. Pain)
  • Why "Retail Therapy" and Scrolling are making you depressed.
  • The Rat Park Experiment: Connection vs. Isolation.
  • The Theology of Boredom: Why we run from God.
  • How to perform a Dopamine Fast.

References:

  • Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke
  • Bruce Alexander’s "Rat Park" Study
  • The Holy Bible (Psalm 46, Philippians 3)

Disclaimer: I am a psychologist in training, not your psychologist. This content is for educational and entertainment purposes. If you are struggling with severe addiction or mental health crises, please seek professional help.Chapters:

0:00 - Intro

1:35 - The Cheap Dopamine Economy

4:10 - The Rat Park and the Cage

6:15 - The Casino in Your Pocket

9:11 - The Theology of Boredom

11:32 - The Noonday Demon

14:18 - Suffering on Purpose (The Solution)

16:03 - The Challenge

Categories: Mental Health, Religion & Spirituality, Self-Improvement, Science

Keywords:Dopamine, Addiction, Neuroscience, Christianity, Faith, Depression, Anxiety, Recovery, Sobriety, Psychology, Boredom, Focus, Productivity, Dr. Anna Lembke, Mental Toughness, Men's Mental Health, Spiritual Warfare.

Show more...
1 month ago
17 minutes 16 seconds

Sober Psychology
Are You Secretly Sabotaging Your Life?

Ever find yourself on the cusp of success—in recovery, your career, or a relationship—and then BAM! You completely derail it? You are not alone. It's called self-sabotage, and it's one of the most frustrating things we do as humans.

In this raw, real, and hard-hitting episode of Sober Psychology, I (Michael, your host and psychologist-in-training) break down the powerful psychological and spiritual reasons we unconsciously choose destruction over success.

We're diving deep into the fear of success, the crippling impact of low self-worth, and how our brains are literally wired for the predictable comfort of failure. Drawing on both pop psychology and the deep wisdom of Biblical truth (Romans 7, anyone?), I give you the no-BS tools to stop being your own worst enemy.

If you are struggling with relapse cycles, procrastination, or constantly messing up a good thing, this episode is your wake-up call. It's time to stop handing yourself the matches.

🔑 Key Takeaways & Discussion Points:

  • The shocking reason why your brain prefers the certainty of suffering.

  • The psychological roots of unworthiness and how it fuels self-sabotage.

  • Why the Bible calls self-sabotage a "war within" (and how to win it).

  • Practical, immediate steps to rewire your brain and choose the healthy path.

  • The profound Christian perspective: Is self-sabotage calling God a liar?

Don't forget to hit that LIKE button, subscribe for weekly doses of Sober Psychology, and share this video with someone who needs to hear this hard truth!

#SelfSabotage #SoberPsychology #MentalHealth #Recovery #AddictionRecovery #Psychology #ChristianPsychology #FearOfSuccess #LowSelfWorth #Sobriety #PersonalGrowth #YouTubePodcast

Connect with Sober Psychology:

  • Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SoberPsychology

  • Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@soberpsychologypod

    Chapters:

    0:00 - Intro

    1:30 - Why Success Feels Like a Threat

    2:10 - Low Self-Worth/ Unworthiness

    3:12 - Fear of the Unknown

    3:48 - Neural Pathways

    4:39 - Biblical/ Christian Perspective

    5:17 - Sin As Self-Sabotage

    5:48 - The Lie of Unworthiness

    7:07 - How to Stop Burning Things Down

    9:00 - Conclusion: The Choice to Live

Show more...
1 month ago
10 minutes 58 seconds

Sober Psychology
Men's Mental Health: The Silent War We're Losing (Powerful!)

Hey Sober Psychology fam! It’s Michael, your psychologist-in-training, going all in on Men’s Mental Health—the silent crisis we’re finally breaking open. 🧠

💥 We’re exposing why men are 4x more likely to die by suicide, how “man up” culture is killing us, and what the Bible actually says about David’s tears and Jesus’ sorrow. From Fight Club to Andrew Tate, pop culture lies get roasted with dark humor and hard science (Harvard Grant Study, CDC stats). If you’re a guy struggling, know a guy who’s “fine,” or just want real tools to heal—this episode is your battle plan.

Subscribe, share with the men in your life, and comment: “I’m not okay”—let’s start the chain. Watch now on YouTube or listen on Spotify! 🎙️

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro

6:20 - Men Are Dying But Nobody Is Talking

9:57 - Why Men Are Wired to Suffer in Silence

12:56 - The Biblical Man

15:06 - How the World Sees "Broken" Men

17:45 - Mental Tools That Actually Work

24:00 - Q & A

27:10 - Conclusion

#MensMentalHealth #SoberPsychology #MentalHealthAwareness #ChristianMen #Psychology #ToxicMasculinity #BibleTruth #SuicidePrevention #EmotionalHealth #SelfImprovement

Show more...
2 months ago
29 minutes 36 seconds

Sober Psychology
Snapchat: The Devil's Disappearing Act | Episode 52

Hey Sober Psychology fam! It's Michael, your psychologist-in-training, hitting you with a eye-opening episode on "The Problem with Snapchat."

📱 Ever feel like that little ghost app is ghosting your mental health and relationships? We're breaking down the psychological traps—like addiction and dopamine hooks—that make Snapchat a sneaky temptation, especially for those in committed relationships. Plus, from a Biblical angle, we're talking how good tools go bad when intentions aren't pure, and ways to guard your heart. Expect straight talk, practical tips, and a bit of dark humor to keep it real. 🙌 If you're battling screen time or app temptations, this is your wake-up call.

Subscribe & share with a friend glued to their phone, and comment: What's your Snapchat struggle? Watch now on YouTube or listen on Spotify! 🎙️

#SoberPsychology #SnapchatProblems #SocialMediaAddiction #ChristianLiving #MentalHealth #Psychology #BiblicalWisdom #Relationships #DigitalDetox #SelfImprovement

Chapters:

0:00 - Welcome/ Intro

5:08 - Why Snapchat Owns Your Brain

14:12 - How Snapchat Turns You Into a Zombie

21:00 - How Snapchat Fuels Infidelity

23:58 - Solutions

32:00 - Wrapping it Up

Show more...
2 months ago
33 minutes 31 seconds

Sober Psychology
Cheating/ Adultery: The Soul-Killing Thrill | Episode 51

Hey Sober Psychology fam! It's Michael, your psychologist-in-training, back with a raw, no-filter episode on "Cheating & Adultery." 💔

Ever wonder why people risk it all for a fleeting thrill? We’re diving into the psychological traps (dopamine highs, attachment issues) behind infidelity, backed by studies like Buss’s work on desire. Plus, for my faith-driven crew, we’re exposing how our pleasure-obsessed culture twists Biblical truths about fidelity—and what Scripture demands instead. Expect tough truths, practical fixes, and a dose of dark humor to wake you up. 🙌 If you’re wrestling with trust or temptation, this one’s for you.

Subscribe, share with someone who needs this reality check, and comment: What’s your take on cheating? Watch now on YouTube or listen on Spotify! 🎙️

#SoberPsychology #Cheating #Infidelity #ChristianLiving #MentalHealth #Psychology #BiblicalTruth #Relationships #SelfImprovement #FaithAndPsychology

Chapters:

  • 0:00 - Welcome/ Intro
  • 7:18 - Psychological Pull of Cheating
  • 14:17 - Gender Wars
  • 20:06 - Wreckage and the Road Out (Solution)
  • 29:56 - Quickfire Q & A
Show more...
3 months ago
36 minutes 4 seconds

Sober Psychology
The Bitter Pill of Success: Winning, Losing Your Soul, and What the Bible Really Says | Episode 50

Hey Sober Psychology fam! It's Michael, your psychologist-in-training, diving deep into the gritty truth about "Success & Winning" in this week's episode.

🏆 Ever wonder why chasing wins can feel like a high but leave you empty? We’re unpacking the psychological highs (dopamine hits!) and lows (burnout, loneliness) of success, backed by studies like the Harvard Grant Study. Plus, for my faith-driven folks, we’re exploring what the Bible says about winning without losing your soul—spoiler: it’s not about that prosperity gospel fluff. 🙏 Expect raw insights, dark humor, and practical tips to win the right way.

Hit that subscribe button, share with a friend who’s grinding too hard, and drop a comment: What’s YOUR biggest success struggle? Watch now on YouTube or listen on Spotify! 🎙️

#SoberPsychology #SuccessMindset #ChristianLiving #MentalHealth #Psychology #Winning #BiblicalWisdom #Motivation #SelfImprovement


Chapters:

0:00 - Intro/ Welcome

3:25 - Why are we talking about success?

4:08 - The Highs of Success

7:58 - The Lows of Success

10:00 - Imposter Syndrome

14:55 - Psychological Tools to Win

17:04 - Journaling

22:10 - Q & A's

25:30 - Sign Off

Show more...
3 months ago
27 minutes 1 second

Sober Psychology
The Division of Politics: How We're Being Torn Apart and Why It Benefits the Shadows | Episode 49

Hello legends! In this episode, "The Division of Politics: How We're Being Torn Apart and Why It Benefits the Shadows," I’m diving deep into the mess of political division. Why are we at each other’s throats? From Civil War scars to today’s meme wars, I unpack the history, the psych science behind our outrage addiction, and how the Deep State and media fat cats profit off our bickering. Plus, through a Christian lens, we’ll expose how this divide is straight-up Satan’s playground—think The Screwtape Letters but with more caffeine.

If you’re sick of family dinners turning into cage matches or wondering why society feels like a powder keg, this one’s for you. Expect raw facts, hard truths, and a call to bridge the gap before we all crash and burn.

What’s Inside:

- History Lesson: How division’s been screwing us since the Civil War, and why it’s worse now (Pew stats don’t lie).

- Shadow Puppetry: How the Deep State, Big Tech, and media cash in on our chaos.

- Psych Breakdown: Why your brain’s hooked on hating the “other side” (spoiler: it’s like a drug).

- Christian Take: How politics distracts from faith, straight from C.S. Lewis’ playbook.

- Action Plan: Steps to unite, because division’s a death sentence.

Hit that like button, subscribe, and share to spread the truth. Let’s stop fighting and start fixing. Keep your head up, heart open, and go help somebody. Love you all!

#SoberPsychology #PoliticalDivide #DeepState #Polarization #ChristianPerspective #Unity #MentalHealth #ScrewtapeLetters #PsychologyPodcast #TruthSeekers

References

  • Political polarization in the United States - Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_polarization_in_the_United_States

  • Political Polarization in the United States | Facing History & Ourselves. https://www.facinghistory.org/resource-library/political-polarization-united-states

  • How Did Political Polarization Begin, and Where Does it End? | Impact. https://impact.duke.edu/story/how-did-political-polarization-begin-and-where-does-it-end

  • The polarization in today's Congress has roots that go back decades. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/03/10/the-polarization-in-todays-congress-has-roots-that-go-back-decades/

  • Democracy and Deep Divides. https://www.journalofdemocracy.org/articles/democracy-and-deep-divides/

  • The Psychology of Political Polarization. https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/the-psychology-of-political-polarization/

  • The psychology behind our political divide, with Keith Payne, PhD. https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/political-divide

  • Social Psychological Perspectives on Political Polarization. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/17456916231186409

  • Reflections: Christianity And Politics - C.S. Lewis Institute. https://www.cslewisinstitute.org/resources/reflections-may-2019/

  • Screwtape on Christianity and Politics - The Gospel Coalition. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justin-taylor/screwtape-on-christianity-and-politics/

  • Uncle Screwtape on Political Extremism - Jeremy L. Berg. https://kingdomharbor.com/2021/01/14/uncle-screwtape-on-political-extremism/

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3 months ago
26 minutes 39 seconds

Sober Psychology
Everything Will Be Ok: Finding Hope in the Chaos of 2025 | Episode 48

Hey, folks! It’s Michael, your Sober Psychology host, diving into the chaos with our latest episode, "Everything Will Be Ok: Finding Hope in the Chaos of 2025."

With Charlie Kirk’s assassination tearing open our political and cultural divides, it feels like the world’s on fire—but I’m here to tell you it’ll work out. We’re breaking down biblical hope, psychological resilience, and historical proof that humanity’s survived worse. From scripture’s promises to science-backed grit, this episode’s got raw truths, a few dark laughs, and real tools to keep you steady in the storm—whether you’re in recovery or just trying to survive the headlines.
Hit that like button, subscribe, and share with someone who needs a reality check and a spark of hope. New episodes drop weekly on YouTube and Spotify—let’s rise above the mess together!
#Hope #Resilience #Sobriety #SoberPsychology #Psychology #CharlieKirk #PoliticalDivide #CulturalDivide #Christianity #BiblicalHope #MentalHealth #Recovery #HistoricalResilience

References

  • American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Resilience. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience

  • Fredrickson, B. L., et al. (2004). Resilient Individuals Use Positive Emotions... PMC.

  • Nature. (2022). Systematic review of resilience. https://www.nature.com/articles/s44271-024-00138-w

  • Open Bible. Bible Verses on Everything Will Be Ok. https://www.openbible.info/topics/everything_will_be_ok

  • History.com. Kindness in Crises. https://www.history.com/articles/crisis-kindness-pandemics-civil-war-911-attacks-hurricanes

  • ResearchGate. Collective Resilience. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/377016655_Crisis_and_resilience_in_psychology

  • Various podcasts: Mel Robbins, Jordan Peterson, Matt Walsh (2025 episodes on resilience and divide).

Show more...
3 months ago
33 minutes 19 seconds

Sober Psychology
Relationships: Navigating the Modern Mess to Build Real Bonds | Episode 47

Hey, you desperate lovers! It’s Michael, your Sober Psychology host, dropping truth bombs in our latest episode, "Relationships: Navigating the Modern Mess to Build Real Bonds."

We're tearing into the chaos of 2025 dating culture—think apps turning love into a swipe-right scam, situationships leaving everyone empty, and red pill nonsense poisoning the vibe. I’m laying out biblical principles for dating with purpose, psych-backed strategies for healthy relationships, and why you need to ditch the drama to find real love. Packed with raw insights, a few dark laughs, and tools to build bonds that last, this one’s for anyone in recovery or just sick of the dating circus.

Hit that like button, subscribe, and share with someone who needs to level up their love game. New episodes drop weekly on YouTube and Spotify—let’s build something real together!

#Relationships #Dating #ModernDating #Sobriety #SoberPsychology #Psychology #HealthyRelationships #BiblicalDating #Christianity #Situationships #RedPill #MentalHealth #love

References:

  • Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
  • Peterson, J. B. (2025). Various podcast episodes on relationships (e.g., friendship in marriage).
  • Robbins, M. (2024). "Let Them Theory" podcast episodes.
  • Regnerus, M. (2017). Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy. Oxford University Press.
  • Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Basic Books.
  • Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2025 meta-analysis on attachment).
  • Archives of Sexual Behavior (2022 study on hookup regret).
  • Equimundo (2025 State of American Men report).
Show more...
4 months ago
26 minutes 45 seconds

Sober Psychology
The Masculinity Issue: Reviving the Suppressed Man for a Stronger Society | Episode 46

Hey, you lovely legends! It’s Michael, your Sober Psychology host, diving into the firestorm of "The Masculinity Issue: Reviving the Suppressed Man for a Stronger Society."

In this episode, we’re tearing apart how politics, feminism, society, and even modern Christianity have tried to tame masculinity into submission, and why we need to bring it back to save our families and society. Backed by hard-hitting psych studies and real talk, I’m unpacking the crisis, the suppression, and the path to reclaiming strength without losing heart.
Expect raw insights, a few dark laughs, and tools to rebuild what’s been lost—whether you’re in recovery or just navigating life.
Smash that like button, subscribe, and share with someone who needs to hear this. New episodes drop weekly on YouTube and Spotify—let’s reignite the fire together!
#Masculinity #MasculinityCrisis #SoberPsychology #Recovery #Sobriety #Psychology #ToxicMasculinity #FamilyStructure #Christianity #Feminism #MensIssues #mentalhealthawareness


References:

  • Equimundo. (2025). State of American Men 2025. https://www.equimundo.org/resources/state-of-american-men-2025/

  • APA. (2025). Uncharted territory: The future of men and masculinities. https://www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/spotlight/future-boys-men-masculinities

  • Pearcey, N. (2023). The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes. Baker Books.

  • Brown University. (2025). Men, masculinity and mental health. https://sph.brown.edu/news/2025-07-24/men-masculinity

  • New York Times. (2025). It's Not Just a Feeling: Data Shows Boys and Young Men Are Falling Behind. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/13/upshot/boys-falling-behind-data.html

  • Deseret News. (2025). Why the struggles of America's young men are now political. https://www.deseret.com/family/2025/08/26/war-on-boys-masculinity-crisis-how-to-help-men/

  • APA. (2019). Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men. https://www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines.pdf

  • Yousaf, O., et al. (2015). Beliefs in traditional masculinity and mental health help-seeking. Journal of Health Psychology.

  • Rios, J. M. (2016). Christianity and the Crisis of Masculinity. https://jmichaelrios.wordpress.com/2016/05/26/christianity-and-the-crisis-of-masculinity/

  • McKay, B. (2023). The Manliness Myth: Unpacking Toxic Masculinity in the Church. https://medium.com/backyard-theology/the-manliness-myth-unpacking-toxic-masculinity-in-the-church-17213f5816b5

  • McGill, J. (2018). Masculinity, Social Connectedness, and Mental Health. PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6142169/

  • Shape Talent. (2024). Breaking the chains of traditional masculinity. https://shapetalent.com/breaking-the-chains-of-traditional-masculinity-another-hidden-driver-of-gender-inequality/

  • UN Women. (2025). What is the manosphere and why should we care? https://eca.unwomen.org/en/stories/explainer/2025/08/what-is-the-manosphere-and-why-should-we-care

  • San Francisco Chronicle. (2025). Crisis of masculinity: Why young men are struggling to define manhood. https://san.com/cc/crisis-of-masculinity-why-young-men-are-struggling-to-define-manhood/

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4 months ago
35 minutes 1 second

Sober Psychology
Enabling: The Toxic 'Help' That's Hurting Your Loved One's Recovery | Episode 45

Hey, you beautiful people! It’s Michael, your Sober Psychology host, back with a gut-punch episode, "Enabling: The Toxic 'Help' That's Hurting Your Loved One's Recovery."

We’re diving deep into what enabling really is—spoiler: it’s not love, it’s letting bad behavior slide, especially for alcoholics and addicts. From covering up their messes to bailing them out, I’m exposing why your "help" might be their downfall, backed by psych research and some Alcoholics Anonymous wisdom. Expect raw truths, a few dark laughs, and practical steps to stop enabling and start supporting for real.

If you’re in recovery or love someone who is, this one’s a must-watch.

Smash that like button, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this wake-up call. New episodes drop weekly on YouTube and Spotify—let’s break the cycle together!

#Enabling #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #Codependency #SoberPsychology #Psychology #AlcoholicsAnonymous #ToughLove #AddictionSupport #MentalHealth #Boundaries #recoveryispossible
References

  • Beattie, M. (1986). Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. Hazelden Publishing.

  • Thomas, E. J., et al. (2004). Enabling behavior in a clinical sample of alcohol-dependent clients and their partners. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 26(4), 269-276.

  • Rotunda, R. J., & O'Farrell, T. J. (1997). Marital and family therapy of alcohol use disorders: Bridging the gap between research and practice. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 28(3), 246-252. (Related to enabling review)

  • Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. (2021). What Is Enabling? Retrieved from https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/enabling-fact-sheet

  • Verywell Mind. (2024). Enabler Behavior: Motivations, Signs, Impact, and Strategies. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/enabler-behavior-motivations-signs-impact-8602260

  • WebMD. (2024). Signs You're Enabling a Loved One's Addiction. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/features/addiction-enabling-a-loved-one

  • Healthline. (2019). Enabler: Definition, Behavior, Psychology, Recognizing One, More. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/enabler

  • American Addiction Centers. (2025). How to Stop Enabling Your Loved One's Addictions. Retrieved from https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/how-to-stop-enabling

  • Resurgence Behavioral Health. (2024). How Enabling Affects Addiction Recovery. Retrieved from https://resurgencebehavioralhealth.com/blog/enabling/

  • St. Joseph Institute. (n.d.). Afraid to Love: The Enabling Dilemma. Retrieved from https://stjosephinstitute.com/blog/afraid-to-love-the-enabling-dilemma/

  • Al-Anon Family Groups. (2017). Mothering or Enabling? Retrieved from https://al-anon.org/blog/mothering-or-enabling/

  • English Mountain Recovery. (2025). Understanding the Difference Between Supporting and Enabling. Retrieved from https://englishmountain.com/blog/understanding-the-difference-between-supporting-and-enabling/

  • Addiction Center. (2025). What Is an Enabler? Retrieved from https://www.addictioncenter.com/treatment/stage-intervention/what-is-an-enabler/

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4 months ago
24 minutes 8 seconds

Sober Psychology
Is AA a Cult? Unpacking the Stigma and Truth of Alcoholics Anonymous | Episode 44

Hey, you beautiful fighters! It’s Michael, your Sober Psychology host, tackling a big question everyone’s whispering about in this episode: "Is AA a Cult? Unpacking the Stigma and Truth of Alcoholics Anonymous."

We’re diving into the rumors, the history from Carl Jung’s influence to the basement beginnings, how AA might’ve gotten a bit softer over time, and the real-deal benefits backed by science. If you’re in recovery or just curious about Alcoholics Anonymous, this raw chat cuts through the BS with some dark laughs and hard truths. Stick around for insights that could change how you see sobriety.

Hit that like button, subscribe for more no-holds-barred psychology talks, and share with someone who needs it. New episodes every week on YouTube and Spotify—let’s stay real together!

#AA #AlcoholicsAnonymous #IsAACult #Sobriety #Recovery #Psychology #SoberPsychology #Addiction #12Steps #CarlJung #MentalHealth #relapseprevention

References:

- Alcoholics Anonymous. (2001). Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism (4th ed.). Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.

- Kelly, J. F., et al. (2020). Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs for alcohol use disorder. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 3.

- Humphreys, K., et al. (2014). Self-help organizations for alcohol and drug problems: Toward evidence-based practice and policy. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 46(1), 1-10.

- Kaskutas, L. A. (2009). Alcoholics Anonymous effectiveness: Faith meets science. Journal of Addictive Diseases, 28(2), 145-157.

- Tonigan, J. S., et al. (2013). Spirituality and Alcoholics Anonymous. Southern Medical Journal, 106(1), 15-20.

Show more...
4 months ago
28 minutes 54 seconds

Sober Psychology
Journaling: Your Brain's Brutal Therapy Session or Total BS? | Episode 43

Hey, you beautiful disasters! It’s Michael, your Sober Psychology host, back with another episode that’s gonna hit you harder than a sobriety checkpoint.

We’re diving into why scribbling your thoughts isn’t just for angsty teens—it’s a game-changer for your mental health and recovery. I’m breaking down the science, from Alcoholics Anonymous wisdom to legit studies, showing how journaling can tame your inner chaos, boost self-awareness, and keep your sobriety on lock. Expect raw truths, a few dark chuckles, and practical tips to make your journal your new best friend (sorry, Netflix). Whether you’re fighting addiction, stress, or just your brain’s BS, this episode’s got you.

Smash that follow button and share with someone who needs to spill their guts on paper. New episodes drop weekly on YouTube and Spotify—let’s keep it real!


#Journaling #SoberPsychology #MentalHealth #Sobriety #AddictionRecovery #Psychology #SelfAwareness #EmotionalRegulation #12Steps #GratitudeJournaling #ExpressiveWriting #StressRelief


References:

  • Alcoholics Anonymous. (2001). Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism (4th ed.). Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.

  • PositivePsychology.com. (n.d.). 5 Benefits of Journaling for Mental Health. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/

  • Huffman, J. C., et al. (2024). A randomized feasibility study of a positive psychology journaling intervention for patients with substance use disorders. ScienceDirect. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S294987592400122X

  • University of Rochester Medical Center. (n.d.). Journaling for Emotional Wellness. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=4552

  • Silver Ridge Recovery. (2024). Unlocking Long-Term Recovery: The Healing Power of Journaling for Adults. https://www.silverridgerecovery.com/unlocking-long-term-recovery-the-healing-power-of-journaling-for-adults/

  • American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Expressive writing can help your mental health. https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/expressive-writing

  • Mental Health Center. (2025). The Connection Between Creativity and Mental Health. https://www.mentalhealthctr.com/the-connection-between-creativity-and-mental-health/

  • Spectrum Health Systems. (2025). Exploring the Therapeutic Benefits of Journaling in Addiction Recovery. https://www.spectrumhealthsystems.org/exploring-the-therapeutic-benefits-of-journaling-in-addiction-recovery/

  • Resources to Recover. (2021). The Benefits of Journaling for Mental Health. https://www.rtor.org/2021/04/24/the-benefits-of-journaling-for-mental-health/

  • American Addiction Centers. (2024). Why Journaling is a Powerful Recovery Tool. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/blog/journaling-recovery

  • Robin Recovery. (2025). The benefits of journaling during addiction recovery. https://www.robinrecovery.com/post/the-benefits-of-journaling-during-addiction-recovery?67289134_page=11

  • HelpGuide.org. (2024). Journaling for Mental Health and Wellness. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/wellbeing/journaling-for-mental-health-and-wellness

  • Ivory Plains Recovery Center. (2024). Try Journaling for Better Mental Health. https://ivoryplainsrecovery.com/blog/try-journaling-for-better-mental-health/

  • Psychology Today. (2025). Journaling in College: A Low-Tech Mental-Health Enhancer. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/college-mental-health/202506/journaling-in-college-a-low-tech-mental-health-enhancer

  • UP Magazine. (n.d.). The Mental Health Benefits of Journaling: Releasing, Reflecting, and Rebuilding. https://upmag.com/the-mental-health-benefits-of-journaling-releasing-reflecting-and-rebuilding/

Show more...
5 months ago
27 minutes 59 seconds

Sober Psychology
A mental health podcast with a focus on men's mental health, substance abuse, recovery, and healing. Honest conversations to break stigma and inspire hope for all on their journey. We recover out loud so fewer suffer in silence. Episodes posted weekly - subscribe today!