Let's talk about sex. A phrase we've heard a couple of times in the past several months is, "people are less comfortable talking about it than doing it."
Interesting.
The truth is, not talking about sex within your marriage is probably keeping you from having the best sex you can be having.
We all enter the union with misconceptions and misinformation. Mainstream and social media emphasize and glamorize a lot of the wrong things while glossing over import ideas like effort and work. Join us for a 30 minute conversation about 3 big concepts that shape the way you think about sex, therefore the way you have sex. We believe you and your spouse will be better for it.
We continue the discussion about the right and wrong kinds of people to go to when you need to talk about your marriage with people outside of your marriage. Rob and Cassie will give you a couple of people to think twice about or totally avoid and suggest 3 people to pursue. In addition we'll highlight character traits that should either raise red flags or be green lights. Enjoy!
In this episode Rob and Cassie affirm the need to go outside of your marriage, at times, for help. In fact, not getting help or waiting too long to get help is one of the primary reasons for the creation of "Spark to Flame."
In part 1 we give you a 3-item checklist to run through before you take your problem or need outside of your marriage.
In this episode Cassie and Rob each share their #1 piece of advice for newly married people. Then they dissect an article from prepare-enrich that exposes 4 things that newlyweds argue about often. As they break down each concept, the Spark to Flame team connects the issue to the newness of marriage while also making it very real to your marriage no matter if you've been together for 5 or 50 years.
In season 2, Episode 3 we speak to Dr. Corey Carlisle (https://coreycarlisle.org/) about having/creating a theology of sex and striving for sexual peace. These are terms that are likely absent from most people's vocabularies. You will hear why you should not only want to be familiar with the terms and concepts, but take the time to think through them and discuss them with your spouse.
Also, Corey refers to a worksheet with 15 prompts for you and your spouse to get talking about sex and sexuality in a healthy way. You can find that here: https://coreycarlisle.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Lets-talk-about-sex.pdf
In this episode we interview author and psychologist Dr. Chris Thurman about the lies we believe in marriage. Thurman has written extensively on the lies we believe, "stinkin' thinkin'" and the Biblical concept that the "truth will set you free."
In a more recent work he applies these ideas specifically to the marriage relationship. The book is called, The Lies Couples Believe: How Living the Truth Transforms Your Marriage and it is available in hard copy and digitally from all major booksellers. (We recommend it highly).
Read more about Dr. Thurman and his other works and happenings at https://drchristhurman.com/
A lot of marital difficulty derives from faulty logic and unnecessary misbeliefs. We hope this interview will act as a primer for understanding some of the ways you may be wrongfully making assumptions as we encourage you to take the next steps toward truth and transformation.
Episode 4 can stand alone, but is best listened as a follow up to episode #3.
We wrap up our marriage meaning project, give you a second way to use the word, "ouch" and how to go from not knowing what to buy your spouse for Christmas to having an over-abundance of ideas.
In this episode we share the second part of a process to help you find meaning in and for your marriage. You will hear about a unique way to think of and get gifts for loved ones. Lastly, one word that can stop an argument from getting ugly.
Cassie and Rob share a fun holiday story. We share a marriage hack - an out of the box type of gift you can give your spouse that will really make them swoon. We kick off a project to help give your marriage meaning and wrap things up with 5 "P's" for dealing with stressful family holiday gatherings!
Welcome to Spark to Flame's first podcast. Join Rob and Cassie as they spend half an hour attempting to fill your head with tips and tricks for improving your marriage. In this first episode they share the experiences and events that lead them to care so much about the institution of marriage. After that you'll hear, He Said, She Said, a conversation prompt that Rob and Cassie will model for you in hopes that you can have that same talk with your spouse this week. You will hear their first Marriage Hack - a super easy to implement tip that will instantly improve your relationship. Finally, in Say What? the two will discuss a system called conversational receptiveness - a way to diffuse conflict in communication.
Don't forget to visit www.sparktoflame.com/support
Here are a couple of references made in the show:
Article from Clayton Olsen, NLP master practitioner https://www.yourtango.com/love/words-that-make-a-man-fall-in-love
Julie Minson and Conversational Receptivity https://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/be-heard-listen