If we want to live sacred polarity in a relationship, then it needs two layers of safety. It takes the inner safety in both nervous systems AND the safety within the relationship itself. We cannot open up and hold tension if we are not safe in ourselves, nor if the relationship is not a stable and protected field. Without safety in us, we cannot hold tension and intensity and without stability in the relationship, we cannot really open up, surrender and receive. It takes two mature and integrated adults who are whole and complete in themselves, free from dependencies to live a love in polarity, rather than in compensation, where one is carrying and regulating an aspect of the other. This is not love, this is regulation. 

In this episode, we dive into the essence of the masculine and feminine, not as roles or identities, but as living forces, as inner movements that work through us. When we as women have integrated our male energy, something quiet and at the same time powerful is created, an inner support. We become clear, present and self-supporting. Our inner space opens up, a kind of container that holds us. From this inner capacity we become truly receptive. Not out of lack, not out of need, but out of openness, because we already have wholeness within us. And only then can the masculine in the outside truly give, because we no longer pull, but remain within ourselves. We no longer need anyone to carry or hold us, but we choose to be held, because we simply enjoy to be a woman and that also brings the man into his power because it is the natural order in polarity. Old dynamics, dependencies are dissolving. We meet the masculine from our inner strength, awake, free and conscious and just from there we can really embrace all of it, because we have integrated the masculine within us. We can relax outside into it and no longer have to fear it or put it on a pedestal, wich has nothing to do with love, it´s a survival program and dependancy. From our own inner strength we are soft, nourishing, sensual, devoted, receptive without losing ourselves. Only then does healthy polarity arise. And of course, this is just as true for men. The more integrated a man’s inner feminine is, the more present, grounded, and powerful his masculinity becomes. He no longer seeks a mother nor a woman who submits or idolises him. He chooses a companion. A partner on equal ground to create with. Not from lack or inner fragmentation, but because he wishes to consciously embody his masculinity and there for he chooses a woman who is grounded in her primal feminine power.  Maturity emerges here as well, when direction and feeling, structure and aliveness, come together within. When the masculine and feminine no longer compete, but support one another we can live the sacred union. 

Why clarity initially overwhelms the body and how integration really happens. We decide on a new version of ourselves and are crystal clear in our focus. At first, we are completely convinced, we feel the high of the new creation, and that generates uplifting hormones in our system. We are deeply convinced of what we want to live and highly motivated, we are a mission, until, usually after a few days, our first defense mechanisms kick in and resistance emerges. Our old self does not let go so easily; it does EVERYTHING to keep us in the old, this is his job. Why this always happens when we expand, grow, and rebirth ourselves, and why it is a logical part of creation. This purging phase is essential and usually a bit messy :-).   

The frequency of these archetypes can serve us as a kind of transitional space, as a bridge into the embodiment of the aspects and frequencies of these fields. They serve as energetic placeholders and then fall away from us when we have integrated and embody this level of maturity. They are a kind of orientation to rise from the survival mode of the "wounded girl and wounded boy" into the whole. Here it is not about the outer crowning, but the inner expansion into this level of maturity, about growth, about wholeness, about consciousness.

How can we bring real change into our lives? Away from reactive behaviour (old identity), towards new conscious choice from the energy of conscious creation of what you choose to embody. This is not a mental process (the mind is of course a part of the whole process), it's a physical process, as we have to embody the frequency of this new state, before is has even manifested. As so often, your nervous system plays a crucial role in this. It takes security within us to "allow" new paths and to close old tracks.  How can you step by step, in the Here and Now, in your everyday life, with every breath let go of what you no longer want to live and embody what you really choose, what truly corresponds to your essence?

Feeling is NOT being in emotions. Present feeling is to perceive directly what is alive in the body, because the body always lives in the NOW. If it expands, becomes wide, a deep breath comes, it releases tension... all these are signs of truth. If the body shuts down, microstress comes, get´s heavy..."that's not true for me". BUT and this is important, we can just feel the truth in a regulated state of the nervous system. Why does it take courage to allow yourself to feel truly? Because then action must follow, consequences are pending if we feel again what we want to live and what is not aligned with us anymore, what is coherent and what is not. How do you want to bring a vision to life when you can't even feel it and are cut off from your true needs? How do you want to distinguish what comes from the ego (feels overstimulated, stressful, overregulated, exiting but in a driven way) and what really comes from your essence (feels also exciting, but calm in the same way, is always quieter, more grounded, it is a YES..that's it)? We need the feeling as a compass, otherwise we are lost and easy to manipulate through other people and environments.  The other day someone told me that if you can't feel, you should get sick leave and practice only feeling for 3 months. I find it true and it touched me. We can only perceive directly when we are regulated (and most are nearly never truly regulated and in the now) and thus present, NOT when we are in survival mode, then we are superimposed by our past, reactive, in fear, self-sabotaging what we actually desire to have, are blind and deaf for the truth.

Our false self, our ego cannot love, in truth the ego does not exist at all, because it is a construct of our wounds, pain, conditioning, survival strategies, etc. In the ego, in our personality, we are never able to love truly, we drag and pull on the other, we need them, we manipulate, we control, we protect ourselves at the slightest touch of an old wound, withdraw like a shot animal, fight and do everything to stay safe in our familiar patterns. All this is NOT love. We use our fellow human beings to maintain our false personality, constantly, daily, almost always, often very subtly. Feeling this can be a shock and at the same time a liberation. Ask yourself, how often are you truly in the now, present and free from your Identity...that are the only moments, where you can actually say..."I do love". How many relationships are based on survival, regulation and Not love? True love never goes out of the ego, true love flows when the ego leaves the stage, when we free ourselves from our own prisons and remove our armour. 

The truth does not come from the body, it does not come from the emotions, thoughts, triggers, pain, etc., the truth comes from our consciousness, from our essence, from our higher self. The body is denser, slower, it stores the past, in it sits the old identity. When we begin to really realise, and not only mentally, but at the cellular level, that we can guide the body with our consciousness and it then follows, then we have the strongest healing energy available that exists. So we never split off the body, we bring the consciousness into it and completely incarnate in it. We lead the body with awareness and guide it into abundance and health with our consciousness. We don´t let the past dictate our health state, we integrate the past in taking over the leadership with what we truly are and the body will follow, as it´s an instrument of resonance. 

If you have you consciously create and choose another reality, one that is closer to the truth of your higher being, then a strong focus and willpower is needed to embody the frequency of this reality on any possible level. It´s  the prerequisite for you to make it experienceable. On the way there, it often feels like 2 realities exist in us at the same time and it takes strength to hold both of them in your nervous system. What you still experience on the outside is the old, mostly unconscious manifestation and the new one is still taking physical shape, but already exists on another level. Everything in you may be oriented to this reality and there will be offers of your old self, which may also seem exciting and lucrative, but if you tune into it, they carry the old energy within themselves, wrapped in a new cover Then you need to stay true to your vision, even if you don't even have a clear picture in front of you, but only feel a vague energy of the new creation. Every conscious NO to the old creates space for the new and at the same time is a powerful yes in the field. It takes courage to resist these seductions and to recognise them as what they are, last temptations from the old field.

We live here on this planet in the constant conflict between our conditioned identities and their limitations and the inner call of our soul for freedom and thus authenticity. It feels like an inner tornness, like 2 levels, like 2 worlds. And that's exactly what it is..it's completely different frequencies and we can choose which ones we feed, at any moment, provided we are awake and determined. Our nervous system is the vessel, so we need to expand it over and over to be able to hold the light of the soul and let go of our programs. Authenticity allows us to embody our individual and unique expression of the one whole and bring it into the world. This attracts exactly the opportunities and people who can dance and create with you there. You can breathe and be and become wide and life lives through you.....

The body always knows the truth and you can use the body as a seismograph for your next steps, if something is serving you or not and if someones energy isn´t aligned with his words. The body always tells us the truth, sometimes it´s it's truth from the past and it´s functioning like a guard, so it´s reaction is not trustworthy for the now, as the body relives an event of the past. If we can understand this, we have the most precise messenger of the truth always with us. No guru or spiritual teacher can really know what the right next steps are for you, as we all are also human and see through our limited lense, even when we are so called not fully dreaming the dream of the separated self anymore. To be able to trust the body fully, we have to be in a regulated state of the nerves system. Only then will the body be able to give a clear message to us.  If we are not in a regulated state (and most of us aren't without even realizing) the body is in survival mode and will just respond out of this state, with has nothing to do with the now. So its message is not aligned with the present moment and will therefor send the wrong message to us. 

We play the game of separation here and consider ourselves to be this person we embody in this life, as if it were a state carved in stone. This first version of our avatar was never our conscious choice (from a soul perspective certainly it was), we were conditioned into this version of us. Many of us, including the people who look calm and relaxed to the outside, are often without knowing it, permanently in an unregulated state of their nervous system and see the world permanently from a survival mode. Here we have a very limited capacity for perception and can hardly imagine any other reality at all, here we are reactive machines one could say. But there are still countless of other realities of yourself, you can be anything you can imagine and what you long for. You only long for it because this version of you already exists in the quantum field, now at this moment, in a different frequency. You have your life in your hands if you choose to take full responsibility for your reality and focus on what you want to live, again and again, at every moment. You are this creator, you were never anything else, you just forgot how to play the game of life properly.

You probably know how to adapt almost automatically to the mood in your environment and dim your light when someone in your environment is going through a challenging time. This is a matrix program, "we suffer together and thus create a connection". We are often not aware that then no one is in the truth anymore. Our nervous systems automatically vibrate with each other, we as humans are social beings and compassion is a wonderful quality, but pity is of no use to anyone. You both lose yourselves in the illusion and thus feed the wrong self. True connection happens in the truth of your higher self, not in the ego. If you feel that you are losing yourself into the field of the other person to be in his suffering out of false loyalty, to supposedly support him, then wake up and come back to you. Keep the field clear and in truth, not in the apparent truth, but in the only one, keep the field with your true self. So you are the space that regulates without doing anything, without teaching, without robbing the other of his learning field, but you lead with presence. Here, and only here, can healing really happen, because here we are true seers.

Feeling separated and cut off from one's own depths, from one's inner source is the state of most people on this planet. To make the conscious choice to no longer feel numb or on the run and to feel more liveliness within oneself is and falls with the capacity of our nervous system to be able to maintain intensive states. If we were never held from our caregivers in strong inner movements as children, then we have never learned to hold ourselves in them purely biologically. We separate ourselves from our inner experience by thinking instead of feeling, working against it, breathing it away and distracting ourselves with various things and are therefore not at home in ourselves. Life seems to us as a consequence bland and sober, seemingly safe, but we feel no connection in ourselves and with the world. The good news is that we can learn and develop to stick to everything that appears in us. We can let what is shown in us flow unfilterled in the present moment without having to do anything with it. So we feel truly in our body and feel deeply alive, life pulsates in us, because nothing is really separated from us, we are life itself.

We all do it and have often done it as children, we drift into our dream worlds in the future... and dreamed away from the present moment, because it was simply much more beautiful there than what we experienced outside. That's how life could be endured. I have often wondered where exactly the difference is and how I can feel it when I dream away and fantasize and thus avoid the present moment, compared to the pure creation, where I create my reality as I would like it to be. One comes from the Ego, from our personality and thus from a point of lack and the other comes from our higher self, from our essence. If you catch yourself moving away from the present moment, then always come back to the now, don't let yourself be tempted to drift away into fantasy worlds and move away from the presence, this is simply avoiding life and keeping you trapped in the past.

Manifestation often feels like playing and that's a beautiful energy and a high state of being. We might think, we can play a bit with energy and see what happens and if it is even possible to manifest etc. This cosmic "game" has consequences and is very powerful. It has power and if your awareness and focus is powerful and strong, then you can move to another version of yourself in a very short time. In order to slip into a new reality, everything that no longer vibrates with your new frequency wants to leave your field, so that what is now attracted by you can come in. Are you ready to let go to be able to receive? We often underestimate this process and its impact. I am always fascinated by how quickly things are "torn" out of my life, sudden and unexpected scenarios arise, which are often also unpleasant and challenging, to make room for the new version of me and my desire. If I hold on and don't  surrender, then I am blocking the entire manifestation, because nothing can come in, as the space is already occupied. Where do you hold on to things, humans, identifications that are no longer meant to be part of your life and refuse to grow?

Do you know the magical moment in the morning when you only perceive space, peace and full potential? If you haven't fully woken up yet or rather before you fall asleep again? Fallin asleep into this perceived limitation of being a separate being with your name, your preferences and your story? If you are attentive and mindful, then you perceive it. That moment, where you are still a nobody, a space, pure energy between the worlds. Expand this sacred moment, every morning a little bit more, become this experience. This can be one of the keys for you to experience yourself tangibly as what you really are, pure divine consciousness.

Why do some of us constantly experience situations in life where they have to fight their way through again and again and can prove to themselves and the world how "strong" they are. According to the motto "Life, you can't get me small, I can overcome anything" (which of course attracts them even more situations to fight in their lives), but not as a wise and strong inner attitude to face challenges awake and resting in themselves, but as a declaration of war. Still others seem to attract situations where they suffer and feel like victims of life and circumstances and others where fear and doubt repeat themselves again and again. We ourselves, of course unconsciously, create again and again these situations in our lives, which appear "accidental" on the outs and with which we then have to deal. If we go back even further and explore which part of us this tailor-made scenario unconsciously serves and which identity keeps alive with it, then you have a chance to interrupt this cycle. This presupposes that you take responsibility for your unconscious manifestations and recognise yourself as the creator of your life.

Do you know the guilt and shame of taking time for yourself and even putting your relationship with yourself first? In the matrix, this is often called "selfish". I would reverse it exactly, not doing it is selfish. How can you be a light from an unconscious personality for yourself and thus also in the world? Is anything else on your daily to-do list really more important than becoming truly aware of "yourself" in yourself? Without going inwards and feeling what looks out of you, what perceives so called reality, what rests behind all the worldly events, it becomes almost impossible to experience this in a tangible way. You can read about it, read thousands of books, attend courses, learn techniques, but to experience it, tangible... truly, that's what makes the difference. That takes time and energy...and can there really be something that's more important than that? When you have found yourself in yourself, felt yourself, then you stop running, you run less and less and what you truly are becomes more and more real. But it takes your dedication and your time....the clear decision to put yourself first

What is your true purpose in this incarnation? And does that actually exist, the ONE mission? Or is it much more true that we always embody our "mission" when we are awake and conscious? That every breath, every action, every expression is where our mission is alive? How we touch the world, be touched by our own? If we are one with all that is, then we are connected with the one truth, we are then an expression of that one truth and is not that our only true "mission" that is then expressed in every action?