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Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Christina Aaliyah
125 episodes
6 days ago
your cosy corner on the internet ☁️ psychology | gen z culture | self development contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com
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All content for Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah is the property of Christina Aaliyah and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
your cosy corner on the internet ☁️ psychology | gen z culture | self development contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com
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Relationships
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Episodes (20/125)
Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
The Ultimate: ‘What Should I Do With My Life?’ Podcast Episode

If you’re feeling lost in your career… Searching things like “what should I do with my life?” or “should I quit my job for my side hustle”? This episode is for you.In this deep‑dive conversation with career coach and founder Cristina Espinal, we unpack what to do when you feel stuck, burned out, or off‑track in your career, and you can’t tell if the answer is a new job, a bold pivot, or finally going all in on your side hustle. You will learn why fulfilment is not something you “find” in the perfect role, but something you cultivate from the inside out by taking back the pen and consciously designing your own career ecosystem.Check out Cristina’s work here:🤸 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cristinaespinal/💡 Play Big Careers: https://playbig.careers/✉️ Cristina’a bi-weekly newsletter: https://subscribepage.io/playbignewsletter⏰ Timestamps00:00 – Feeling stuck in your career and questioning your next move 02:00 – Cristina’s career journey: consulting, startups, and the pivot moment 05:00 – Why fulfilment doesn’t come from a job title (career ecosystem explained) 07:40 – Should you quit your job or start a side hustle instead? 11:40 – The 4 career alignment dimensions: needs, strengths, vision, values 17:15 – What people are really searching for when they say they want a new job 20:40 – Traits of people who feel fulfilled at work (and why most don’t) 26:00 – Nervous system regulation, rest, and burnout in modern careers 34:45 – Why purpose isn’t something you “find” (and what to focus on instead) We talk about:🍎 How to know if you are genuinely misaligned in your current job vs. just in a tough season🍎 The four dimensions of real career alignment: your needs, strengths, vision, and values🍎 How to decide between staying, quitting, or going full time on your side hustle without acting from fear or scarcity🍎 Why your nervous system, inner safety, and nervous system regulation matter more than another CV tweak or job search tactic🍎 How to stop “black‑and‑white” thinking (stay or go, 9–5 or entrepreneur) and start building an abundant career ecosystem that can include a day job, side projects, learning, community, and creativity🍎 The biggest myths about “finding your purpose” and how to actually cultivate a sense of purpose in everyday life and workIf you've ever thought:- “I'm feeling lost in my career,” - “I hate my job but I’m scared to quit,” - “should I go full time on my side hustle,” - “how to find my purpose,”- “how to feel fulfilled at work,”This conversation is for you ✨More from me:📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: christinaa@makrwatch.com

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1 week ago
41 minutes 27 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
you don’t need another glow up, you need to shadow work

⭐️ Download all the Shadow Work Prompts here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/shadowIf you've ever felt like you've tried everything and nothing has worked, you're in the right place.Watch if you’re struggling with:• emotional avoidance• self-sabotage and repeating patterns• burnout from self-improvement• perfectionism or people-pleasing• feeling disconnected from who you really are0:00 - Intro1:32 - What is your shadow?2:35 - Write down all the parts of you that you reject about yourself5:03 - How the shadow controls your life5:45 - Meeting your shadow9:34 - Where most people get it wrong14:09 - Upper limit👯 discordjoin here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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2 weeks ago
20 minutes 43 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Gen Z has relationship PTSD

⭐️ FREE Dating Detox Workbook

grab yours here → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/tdd


01:24 Gen Z has relationship PTSD

03:58 what do the numbers say

05:35 Gen z wants romance but not love

07:43 Compromise is a requirement not a choice

11:07 making the right decision

14:17 Singlehood isn’t a waiting room



👯 discord

join here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn

⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc

📖 my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/

🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter

💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com

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3 weeks ago
18 minutes 9 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Are We Too Independent for Real Friendships?



0:00 intro

2:22 hyper independence is a trauma response

4:10 hyper individualism

6:33 social media has raised our standards

7:41 religion

8:55 relationships

10:47 emotional numbness

13:59 effort budget

16:11 get used to being unproductive



⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook

grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc


📖 my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/


🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter


💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com




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1 month ago
18 minutes 53 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
the price of SUCCESS is facing your fears

⭐ Download the FREE Superhuman habits workbook here→ https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/shh📘 Read the newsletter I mentioned here!→ https://view.flodesk.com/emails/68fe2078623d7516ea4687b1

0:00 intro

1:16 Your biggest dream

3:35 The Psychology Behind Avoidance

7:10 The Comfort Trap

9:08 The Real Consequence: Emotional Shrinking

12:10 Breaking the Cycle🌱 sign to read it weekly! → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter👯 discordjoin here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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1 month ago
16 minutes 33 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
5 Huge Mistakes I Made in College

0:00 intro

01:47 You’re Not a Self Improvement Project

05:27 Learning to cook more

18:01 Avoiding problems makes the get bigger

10:47 A hobby is an investment in your happiness

12:30 you need to have audacity


👯 discord

join here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn


⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook

grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc


📖 my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/


🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter


💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com

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1 month ago
16 minutes 37 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
I Wish Someone Told Me This at 18

⭐ Download the FREE Superhuman habits workbook here→ https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/shh

High school can shape the rest of your life, but most people don’t realise it until it’s too late. In this video, I’m breaking down the 5 biggest mistakes students make in high school that can hold them back for years to come.From chasing popularity instead of purpose, to ignoring mental health, and choosing comfort over growth, these lessons will change the way you approach school, friendships, and your future.Whether you’re a student or just someone starting over, this video will help you avoid regrets and build a life you’re proud of.

0:00 - intro

2:06 - Your silence won’t protect you

5:31 - Don’t leave anything behind in high school

7:19 - Serious about it, school, but gentle with yourself

9:12 - People make or break any experience

12:15 - Tell the truth

👯 discordjoin here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn

⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc

📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/

🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter

💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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1 month ago
14 minutes 3 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
The Rise of 'Low-Effort Boyfriends' (Why Women Are Tired)

Let’s be honest, dating feels different now 😭

After Vogue’s published the infamous “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?” and it blew up online, I had to sit down and talk about it, so cue the very spontaneous and unscripted video... enjoy!

It’s not that having a boyfriend is embarrassing, it’s having a low-effort boyfriend that is.I'm sure we can all agree, right?

The kind who forgets your birthday, doesn’t plan dates, or treats emotional effort like a chore.

That’s what women are calling out, not love itself.In this video, I unpack why so many women are frustrated, why men feel attacked, and how social media turned relationships into a status game.

We talk about the expectation gap between men and women, how independence and emotional labor are reshaping dating, and why a healthy, reciprocal relationship has become the new flex.

If you’ve ever felt disillusioned by modern dating culture, this conversation is for you.

Let me know in the comments:

- Do you think having a boyfriend is embarrassing in 2025?

- Or are we just tired of settling for less?

📖 my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/

🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter

💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com

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1 month ago
20 minutes 9 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
How to Stop Caring What People Think (For Real This Time)

0:00 intro

02:49 It's not vain, it's survival

06:35 Validation is borrowed self-worth

10:19 Transforming your self-concept

13:27 You need an identity change


👯 discord

join here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn


⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook

grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖 my ebook


Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living'

here → https://christina-aaliyah.com


🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter


💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com

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2 months ago
20 minutes 53 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Male Friendships Are Broken (It’s Worse Than You Think)

I've always thought that male friendships look different, but when I looked into the research it really opened my eyes.


In this video, I unpack some of unspoken rules that shape how men connect: banter over vulnerability, competition over closeness, and why so many guys end up feeling lonely even with a big friend group. I share surprising sociological research on homosocial bonds (non-sexual male friendships) and what makes emotional intimacy so hard for men.


This isn’t about bashing men, genuinely I just found this all so interesting. Lmk your thoughts in the comments below, in this video we’ll explore the role of fathers and male role models, why vulnerability between men is still seen as weakness, and how online culture (from podcasts to toxic influencers) fills that void.


If you’ve ever felt like male friendships can be shallow, or wondered why men struggle to open up, this deep dive will give you language and perspective you might not have had before.




0:00 intro2:22 Men are Homosocial3:49 The importance of fathers6:12 Emotional Detachment12:34 Sexual objectification of women18:08 Male vulnerability is a strength


🎬 Channels' Mentioned:

@ManTalks

@Stefanos Sifandos

@Chris Williamson⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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2 months ago
21 minutes 31 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Hyper-Independence Is Ruining Your 20s

0:00 intro1:37 you’re breaking your own heart4:19 create your own loneliness11:11 you don’t need love13:26 get closer to people16:29 you’ve outgrown hyper-interdependence20:40 criticism is your downfall👯 discordjoin here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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2 months ago
25 minutes 23 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Why Relationships Confuse Men (2025)

0:00 Intro

1:40 Vulnerability is a superpower

7:05 My dating story

10:52 The invisible workload placed on women

15:27 Women feel objectified

21:24 Men want to feel needed, women want to feel chosen.


In 2025, men and women approach dating so differently, I asked you guys what are some things men need to understand more about women… and you came through with your responses.In this video we’re unpacking why dating confuses men, what are some of the things men need to be aware of when it comes to relationships, how men can empathtise and understand the struggle of women in dating + much more.Comment down below what are some things you think were missed 👇🏽And comment down below what are some things women need to understand more about men?Attached by Adam Levine book https://amzn.to/3ILlb8w

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2 months ago
24 minutes 49 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Why You Feel Behind In Your 20s

⭐️ FREE Value Gap Workbook

grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/vgw


We’re told that success will make us happy, but for many high achievers, it does the opposite. In this video, I uncover the hidden cost of ambition: the burnout, loneliness, and loss of identity that come when your worth is tied to achievement.From perfectionism to imposter syndrome, we’ll explore why “doing more” never feels like enough and how to find peace in a world that rewards constant productivity. If you’ve ever felt exhausted by your own goals, this one’s for you.It’s time to redefine success, not as constant striving, but as finally feeling enough.

📖The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem

*purchase here → https://amzn.to/499CZEXTimestamps0:00 - Intro3:17 - You are fluent in the language of fear4:53 - Pseudo self-esteem8:36 - Outrunning the shame we have about ourselves11:23 - Fear will always run faster than you16:07 - Unmet needs18:54 - The almost done trap19:54 - Worshipping your fruits 👯 discordjoin here → https://discord.gg/CuZrjBR4Dn⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com


*affiliate link, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you :) Thank you for supporting the channel!

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2 months ago
23 minutes 36 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
The Problem With Female Friendships (Men Don't Get It)

what do you think? lmk in the comments!

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2 months ago
18 minutes 37 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Burnout Isn’t the End, It’s the Beginning of Real Success

This is a different video for me 👀Today, I sat down with Sophie Ash, an intuitive business coach and founder of Prospology, we unpacked some of Invisible weight so many of us carry: people-pleasing, tying our worth to productivity, ignoring our emotions until burnout hits, and struggling to feel safe choosing our own path.We talk about:• Breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice and overworking• How childhood patterns secretly drive our adult choices• Learning to self-soothe and feel safe instead of chasing external validation• Redefining success so it’s aligned with you, not hustle culture• Building real confidence and self-trust without burning outIf you’ve been stuck in survival mode, doubting your value, or chasing accomplishments that don’t feel fulfilling when you get them — this episode will give you a calmer, kinder way forward.Subscribe if you want more honest conversations about mental health, career pressure, burnout recovery and building a life that actually feels good.Follow Sophie here:

Prospology IG: https://www.instagram.com/prospology/Sophie IG: https://www.instagram.com/sophieashofficial/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophieash/Prospology: https://prospology.com/


00:00:00 – Intro

00:02:45 – What “grounded” actually means

00:03:55 – Early burnout signs & quick grounding

00:06:43 – Is burnout avoidable?

00:08:30 – Urgent vs Important: self-awareness first

00:11:44 – How to break the self-sabotage cycle

00:15:08 – Goals without suffering or pressure

00:23:30 – Practical vs emotional healing (band-aid vs root)

00:24:02 – Habits & identity: why change feels hard

00:27:16 – Know your needs so others can support you

00:29:52 – The post-goal “anti-climax” & redefining success

00:31:10 – Authenticity & alignment (“What else could it be?”)

00:36:14 – Intuition vs self-doubt: telling the difference

00:38:20 – If you felt safe: how would you act/feel?

00:41:50 – Where self-worth actually comes from

00:43:51 – What Sophie’s working on now

00:44:06 – Coaching & channels (business vs personal)

01:09:26 – Success as alignment with yourself

01:10:36 – Practising pride (being proud of yourself)

01:16:11 – Closing reflections

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2 months ago
44 minutes 47 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Men Are Choosing AI... Over Real Women

AI relationships...


Let's talks about it.


I know it's easy to see AI relationships as gross and sleazy, but tbh I kinda feel bad.


For the people that have to resort them, as a girl who struggled with severe loneliness a few years ago, I can't even imagine what I woul dhave done if I hadn't come out of my shell and learnt to meet new people


I think there's a lot more going on that just disgusting and fetishy relationships, in this video I wanted to speak on the complexities that go into why people seek out AI relationships and what this means for men, women and the future...

0:00 intro

2:56 The Cost

4:48 Why

7:30 AI won’t reject you

9:48 My boyfriend is AI

12:01 People are still lonely

14:44 Taking the pressure off of women

18:14 The real problem


⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook

grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc


📖 my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/


🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter


💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com

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3 months ago
21 minutes 46 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Why Women Aren’t Having Kids Anymore

Why are more women prioritising careers over motherhood?


It's easy to think about

- Rising living costs

- Unstable jobs

- and the pressure of balancing identity with family life have reshaped what success looks like for this generation.


In this video, I wanted to talk about the realities women face today, from the lack of support for mothers returning to work to the fear of losing independence, and why, for many, a career feels like the safer, more fulfilling choice.

0:00 intro

1:18 biological clock

2:44 no incentive to start a family

5:17 the politicization of motherhood

9:07 weaponising singlehood

12:27 loss of identity

13:59 most children aren't planned

15 :29 the myth of an equal household

18:25 regretting children

19:20 your job won't love you back


⭐️ free 'Cringe to Confident' workbook

grab yours here https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/ctc📖

my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/

🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter

💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com

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3 months ago
21 minutes 47 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
Success Won’t Save You, Here’s Why

*Timestamps*

2:16 -limiting beliefs

4:44- Successful people are lonely

8:33 -The problem with life goals

13:51 -But what do I do?

14:42 - Normalising failure

16:19 - ghosting your goals

19:04 - raising your self-worth


⭐ FREE Validation Detox Workbook

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/tvd


📖 my ebook

Grab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/


🌱 sign up to my newsletter

https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter


💌 contact:

info@christina-aaliyah.com



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3 months ago
24 minutes 22 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
The Psychology of Reaching 100k subs on YouTube

FREE WORKBOOK: I took all the notes for you already 😘grab yours here → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/100kJOIN the Cozy Content Club here! here → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/waitlist0:00 intro3:10 a successful channel is a high demand channel4:47 a successful channel is often a combination channel9:19 the rise of connection content14:25 a/b testing17:08 audiences comes first 19:26 trends are a waste of time20:36 your audience is what you make of it23:41 success is just the opportunity to do more27:57 youtube is not your purpose

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3 months ago
32 minutes 11 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
7 Lies Modern Society Told Women (2026)

⭐️FREE Quarter Life Clarity WorkbookGrab yours here → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/qlc7 Biggest Lies Society Tells WomenYou're not crazy.Society really is selling you two opposite things at one time.Work hard, but also live a soft life.Be feminine, but don't be a pushover.Prioritise yourself, but don't be selfish.Date the right partner, but enjoy your single era.It's exhausting. As you guys know, I'm ion a mission to help make the world a less lonely place, and that's why in this video I'm sharing 7 lies that society has told women from 'you can have it all', to 'you need to have everything figured out by 30'.Share your thoughts in the comments below- What did I miss?- What do yo disagree with/disagree with?I'll see you in the comments section 👋0:00 Lie 11:50 Lie 23:05 Lie 35:55 Lie 410:14 Lie 514:48 Lie 617:10 Lie 7📖 my ebookGrab 'Stop Shrinking Start Living' here → https://christina-aaliyah.com/🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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3 months ago
19 minutes 32 seconds

Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah
your cosy corner on the internet ☁️ psychology | gen z culture | self development contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com