Betrayal has a way of making women feel broken emotionally, relationally, and inside their own sense of self.
In this episode, I’m joined by author Tammy Gustafson for a powerful conversation about what it really means to be broken… and how bravery often emerges in ways we don’t expect after betrayal.
Together, we explore how betrayal trauma impacts the nervous system, identity, and sense of safety—and why healing is rarely a straight line.
What “broken” actually means after betrayal and why it’s not a personal failure
How bravery doesn’t look like strength or certainty, but honesty and presence
The phases of healing after betrayal and why each one matters
Why the path to healing often feels counterintuitive
How betrayal creates an invisible injury that deserves real care and time
What true repair looks like—inside yourself, not just in the relationship
Tammy offers a grounded, compassionate lens for understanding betrayal trauma, one that honors the depth of the injury without rushing women toward forgiveness or decisions they’re not ready to make.
This episode is especially supportive if:
You’ve been told to “be strong” when you feel shattered
You’re questioning why you’re still struggling long after the betrayal
You want to true healing from the betrayal you’ve experienced
You’re looking for validation that you’re on the path.
You are not weak because this hurt you.
You are not failing because healing takes time.
And you are not broken beyond repair.
🎧 Listen in for a compassionate, real conversation about betrayal, bravery, and what healing actually looks like after everything falls apart.
🌟 Meet the Author: Tammy Gustafson
Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, coach, and speaker with over 15 years of experience. She holds a master’s degree in counseling and is the founder and CEO of Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling. Tammy hosts the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, which provides compassionate, expert guidance to thousands of betrayed partners worldwide.
The Betrayal Healing Conference
January 26-30, 2026
https://010850311--betrayalhealing.thrivecart.com/all-access-pass/
Tammy’s Website
Rachel's Group Support Information
https://risestrongrecovery.my.canva.site/over-the-rainbow
Rachel’s Booklist
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Rachel’s Newsletter
Surrender is one of the most misunderstood concepts in healing, especially after betrayal trauma. For many women, the word itself can feel painful, unsafe, or even triggering. It can sound like giving up, minimizing harm, or accepting what should never have happened.
In this episode, we slow surrender way down.
This conversation explores what surrender actually means in the context of betrayal trauma and healing in Christ’s light. Not as passive acceptance or forced forgiveness, but as a gradual, grounded process of releasing what was never yours to carry in the first place.
We talk about surrender through multiple lenses. Faith, higher power, and the 12-step framework, while always coming back to what surrender looks like in real, everyday life for women whose trust has been shattered.
In this episode, we explore:
This episode is for women who are exhausted from holding everything together, from trying to manage outcomes, and from carrying responsibility that was never theirs. Surrender here is not about shrinking or silencing yourself. It is about softening your grip on what you cannot control so you can come back home to yourself.
You don’t have to understand surrender all at once. You don’t have to do it perfectly. And you don’t have to force it before you’re ready.
This episode offers gentle perspective, grounded truth, and permission to explore surrender at your own pace.
🌟 Meet the Author: Jeni Brockbank
Jeni Brockbank lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red as a reminder of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.
Her Wings Unfold
Rachel’s Booklist
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Rachel's Newsletter
Betrayal doesn’t just break trust — it fractures your connection to yourself, to others, and often to God.
In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m again joined by Jeni Brockbank, author of Healing in Christ’s Light, to explore what it looks like to move beyond survival and into deeper healing after betrayal — without bypassing pain or rushing the process.
This episode centers on soul-care, compassion, and truth-based healing for women navigating the aftermath of abuse, addiction, abandonment, and adultery.
Together, we explore:
• Why betrayal wounds the soul — not just the heart or mind
• What real soul-care looks like after trauma (and why “just pray more” often isn’t enough)
• How self-compassion becomes a critical healing practice after gaslighting and self-doubt
• Why healing in isolation keeps wounds open — and how safe community supports restoration
• The difference between accountability, support, and pressure disguised as “help”
• What forgiveness is — and what it is not
• Why forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, tolerance, or bypassing harm
• How faith-centered healing honors truth, boundaries, agency, and dignity
This episode is a grounding reminder that:
You are allowed to be tender with yourself.
You are not meant to heal alone.
And forgiveness is never meant to cost you your safety or your soul.
If you’ve struggled with guilt, pressure to “move on,” or confusion about forgiveness and faith after betrayal — this conversation was created for you.
🌟 Meet Our Guest: Jeni Brockbank
Jeni Brockbank lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red as a reminder of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.
Her Wings Unfold
Rachel’s Booklist
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Rachel's Newsletter
Betrayal doesn’t just break trust, it breaks the world you thought you were living in.
In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by Jeni Brockbank, author of Healing in Christ’s Light, for a grounded and faith-centered discussion on the realities of abuse, addiction, abandonment, and adultery, including the deep trauma that follows.
Together, we explore:
This episode is a validating reminder that:
You didn’t cause this.
You’re not alone in it.
And your healing is sacred.
If you’ve ever felt confused, spiritually conflicted, or unsure where to turn — this conversation was made for you.
🌟 Meet Our Guest: Jeni Brockbank
Jeni lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red because it reminds her of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting victims of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.
🕊️ Listen in for grounding truth and gentle direction.
You are not crazy — you are surviving trauma. And healing is possible, especially when truth and safety lead the way.
Her Wings Unfold
December 11, 2025 Webinar
Over the Rainbow: Understanding the Journey of Betrayal Trauma Healing
Register Here https://reclaim-self-trust.lovable.app/
Rachel’s Booklist
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Rachel's Newsletter
When the person who promised to love you is the one who caused the deepest harm, it creates a specific kind of trauma — one rooted in injustice. Betrayal trauma shatters safety, damages trust, and turns your entire world upside down. And yet… women are so often told to “be more understanding,” “let it go,” or “move on.”
In today’s episode, we’re naming what so many experience but rarely say out loud:
What happened to you was unjust.
And your anger? It’s not a flaw — it’s a sign of your worth and your wound.
Together, we explore:
We draw from insights in Betrayal Trauma Anger by Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck — not to pathologize your anger, but to understand it as a natural response to harm.
You’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of your emotional reactions — especially if you’ve been judging yourself for them.
Key Reminder:
You are not overreacting.
You are responding to a real violation.
And your anger can be a powerful ally on your way back home to yourself.
📚 Resource Mentioned:Betrayal Trauma Anger by Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck
✨ If this episode resonates…Share it with a friend who is questioning whether what she’s feeling is “too much.”Your story deserves validation, not dismissal. And you deserve support on this journey of coming back to yourself.
Rachel’s Booklist
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Newsletter
ANGER! Let's talk abou it.
Anger after betrayal can feel huge, sudden, or out of character — but it’s not a sign that something is wrong with you. It’s a natural response to harm, deception, and the collapse of emotional safety.
In this episode, we break down why anger shows up so strongly and how to begin processing it in ways that support your healing.
We cover:
Anger isn’t a flaw — it’s information. It’s your body responding to what happened.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why am I this angry?” or “Is this too much?” this episode will help you understand your reaction with more clarity and compassion.
Your anger makes sense. And it’s allowed.
Book Discussed:
Betrayal Trauma Anger by Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck
About the Author
Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.
Website
https://crystalhollenbeck.com/
Article referenced in Interview:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940
Book
SCIP Protocol
chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf
Rachel's Bookshelf
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Sign up for my Newsletter
Anger after betrayal can feel intense, confusing, and at times overwhelming. Many women question whether their reactions are “too much” — but what if your anger is not only valid, but an essential part of your healing?
In this episode, I continue to interview Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy… You’re Angry and You Should Be! to unpack the truth about anger through the lens of betrayal trauma.
Together, we explore:
• What anger really is and why it shows up so strongly after betrayal
• The purpose anger serves in protecting us and signaling our pain
• What makes betrayal-related anger different from “typical” anger
• Why suppressing anger often keeps us stuck in trauma responses
• Healthy, grounded ways to move through anger without abandoning yourself
• How to begin processing anger in a way that supports nervous system safety and self-reconnection
This conversation is both validating and liberating. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is something wrong with me for feeling this angry?” — this episode will help you breathe a little easier and see your anger with more clarity and compassion.
Your anger makes sense. It deserves a voice, not shame.
About
Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.
Website
https://crystalhollenbeck.com/
Article referenced in Interview:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940
Book
SCIP Protocol
chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf
Rachel's Bookshelf
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Sign up for my Newsletter
Anger after betrayal can feel intense, confusing, and at times overwhelming. Many women question whether their reactions are “too much” — but what if your anger is not only valid, but an essential part of your healing?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy… You’re Angry and You Should Be! to unpack the truth about anger through the lens of betrayal trauma.
Together, we explore:
• What anger really is and why it shows up so strongly after betrayal
• The purpose anger serves in protecting us and signaling our pain
• What makes betrayal-related anger different from “typical” anger
• Why suppressing anger often keeps us stuck in trauma responses
• Healthy, grounded ways to move through anger without abandoning yourself
• How to begin processing anger in a way that supports nervous system safety and self-reconnection
This conversation is both validating and liberating. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is something wrong with me for feeling this angry?” — this episode will help you breathe a little easier and see your anger with more clarity and compassion.
Your anger makes sense. It deserves a voice, not shame.
About the Author
Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.
Website
https://crystalhollenbeck.com/
Article https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940
Book
SCIP Protocol
chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf
Rachel's Bookshelf
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share
Sign up for my Newsletter
I offer an unscripted dive into a gaslighting experience using Sarah Morales' workbook called "Take Your Power Back." Join me as I use a real life example and explore the mapping system Sarah offers to discern gaslighting behaviors and patterns.
Be sure to check out the workbook which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.
Pick up your copy here:
Check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com
Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.
Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.
Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.
Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.
Rachel's Bookshelf
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share
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Join me in part 2 as I continue interviewing gaslighting expert, Sarah Morales. She has written an amazing workbook called "Take Your Power Back" which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.
I split the interview up into two parts because we had so much to discuss. You don't want to miss this!
Pick up a copy of the workbook here:
and check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com
Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.
Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.
Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.
Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.
Rachel's Bookshelf
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share
Sign up for my Newsletter
Join me as I interview gaslighting expert, Sarah Morales. She has written an amazing workbook called "Take Your Power Back" which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.
I split the interview up into two parts because we had so much to discuss. You don't want to miss this!
Pick up a copy of the workbook here:
and check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com
Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.
Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.
Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.
Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.
Rachel's Bookshelf
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share
Sign up for my Newsletter
We are looking at volume 2 of "Not a Casserole Widow" by Kim Hansen Petroni. In this episode, we're talking about reality: what is it and how to accept it. We also explore those inner voices, both positive and negative ones. Then we dive into JADE and BIFF. What are those? You'll have to listen or pick up the workbook to find out! Hope you join me for this exploratory episode.
Check out this book and others featured in this podcast:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share
Sign up for my newsletter for weekly tips, resources and support for betrayal trauma:
Come explore Kim Hansen Petroni’s workbook Not a Casserole Widow with me. In this conversation, we unpack what forgiveness can really look like—and it may not be what you expect. We also talk about the breaking of trust in intimate relationships, which is the very foundation of betrayal trauma.
Amid the chaos and confusion, there’s also a deeper story of courage and hope—and that’s what we touch on together.
👉 Follow the link below to find this and other books I feature on the podcast (not affiliate links):
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share
Join me this episode as we speak with Kim Hansen Petroni, author of the book, "Not a Casserole Widow." We discuss how the workbook came to be, integral parts of the book, and Kim even shares some of her poetry. You won't want to miss this!
Kim Hansen Petroni holds a Masters in Counseling, is a Board Certified Coach, an APSATS Certified Partner Coach and Supervisor, an ERCEM certified coach, and a Certified Divorce Coach.
Kim supports those experiencing sexual betrayal in their relationship through her company, titled CoachingHope4U.
Kim has an exciting development she shared with me: Not a Casserole Widow was recently approved for non profit status! Kim is embarking on her mission to better train women to get through divorce/mediation and all things surrounding healing through betrayal and divorce.
It certainly was a privilege to have Kim as a guest on today's episode!
You can find out more information about Kim, her workbook and the work she is doing here: https://www.coachinghope4u.com/
Follow me, Rachel Strong Smith, on IG and FB for more support and guidance through betrayal trauma:
Continuing our conversation inspired by the book, "What Can I Do About Me? by Ryhll Crowshaw, we discuss self-care. Self-care is just another word for boundaries, but what does it take to really be able to care for ourselves? Join me in this episode where we get to the heart of why we do or do not care for ourselves.
We're talking boundaries again. Ryhll Crowshaw released the 2nd edition of her book, "What Can I Do About Me?" and we discuss the new additions. Ryhll added addendums to further her story 11+ years after the first publishing. Boundaries are one of the most confusing and critical parts of recovery work. We explore the nuances of boundaries, including the difficulties and fruits of setting healthy boundaries.
The B-word! Boundaries! Has such a word ever had so many connotations around it?
In this episode we explore Rhyll Croshaw's book, "What Can I Do About Me?" and her perspectives about boundaries. I share my own personal exploration of boundaries and offer real life examples. I also offer validation for the difficulties and fears that come up with placing healthy boundaries. You're going to want to be sure to listen.
Link to the book: https://a.co/d/93IMqrI
In this episode, I'm discussing the book written by Rhyll Anne Croshaw called "What Can I Do About Me?" She offers important insights about the shame we experience as betrayed partners. I share parts of my story and how shame played a significant role in the trauma of betrayal. The courage to share one story at a time can begin to dispel the shame surrounding betrayal from sex addiction.
This episode is the last one of the series exploring Dr. Kevin Skinner's Book, Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal. I offer my perspective on the concept of Self-Compassion.
Betrayal Trauma affects our very connection to ourselves and self-compassion can be challenging at best to practice. I look at the barriers to self-compassion that Dr. Skinner's identifies as well as ways to implement it, which includes gentle observation.
In this episode we explore what safety means in self and the relationship. We acknowledge that sensing safety is biologically wired into our nervous systems. We also answer the question, "What happens if my partner doesn't offer safety for the relationship?"
I offer my insights to the definition of safety while studying Dr. Kevin Skinner's book, Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal.