Today's special guest is Renata Ellera, a clinical psychologist from Brazil who writes the smart and relationship-focused Substack Love Better. Our fun discussion covered a range of topics including cute Instagram couples ruining people's perspective of their own relationships, advice we would give to anxiously attached women dating avoidant guys, cultural differences between here and Brazil, attachment in only children, school refusal, and a million other topics all related to attachment and human relationships!
Follow Renata here: https://substack.com/@ellerarenata
Watch my prior episode with her here: https://lovebetter.substack.com/p/sexuality-and-intimacy-in-couples
Join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
To get over 200 more episodes, most recent "Being With An Avoidant Partner Can Feel Like Eating Fake Food", subscribe here! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Meredith Masony is awesome. I met her ten years ago at Blog U, a now defunct conference for mommy bloggers, and she has since skyrocketed to internet fame. This is a very honest and open chat about periods, HRT, perimenopause, parenting teens, empty nest, being a woman in the public eye, breast augmentation (which we did a decade apart!), marriage issues, her "second mountain," the near death medical issues that made her want to live more authentically, addiction and both of our experiences with depression treatments... and so much more! This interview showcases a midlife woman who is not afraid to be real, which is why she's built up such a loyal following! Hopefully I get her on the show again one day. Enjoy!
Meredith's links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meredithmasony
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thats_inappropriate/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@meredithmasony1?lang=en
And for more about midlife women, join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
To get over 200 more episodes, most recent "Being With An Avoidant Partner Can Feel Like Eating Fake Food", subscribe here! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Today we have Lana Li, who I follow on Substack! We discuss dating as a young overeducated woman in New York City, lol. She was doing that till recently and I was doing it 25 years ago!
We had a fun conversation about using data in dating, the end of the honeymoon stage, avoidant men and preoccupied women, and more!
Follow Lana here: https://lovemelikearobot.substack.com/
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Give A Gift To The Partner You HAVE, Not The Partner You WISH You Had!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Today's episode discusses how to become 100 times wiser in a minute: Whenever you hear any relationship story from one side, assume if the partner told you their perspective you'd agree that the other one was terrible! Listen, I also used to think that everyone was a reliable narrator even through the initial years of being a therapist. The reality is that people unintentionally tell only their side. This isn't intentional lying. It doesn't even occur to them there is another lens, they cherry pick data point to confirm their worldview internally and then express it. Understanding this alone is transformative... But if you recognize that everyone INCLUDING YOU is an unreliable narrator... That is when you can truly evolve!
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Give A Gift To The Partner You HAVE, Not The Partner You WISH You Had!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
In today's longest episode ever, we go through the backstory of Brandi, who is a Developmental Psychology PhD and whose husband came out as transgender after years of marital dysfunction. What I love about Brandi, who I also knew in grad school, is how she owns her own contribution to this dysfunction, looking at her part through an attachment lens.
Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner, who was lied to or cheated on, or who was in a sexless marriage that was later explained by something that could have been shared with you sooner (an affair, sexual orientation that wasn't disclosed, porn/sex addiction) will love this episode.
Brandi credits her recovery and remarriage to EMDR, IFS therapy, and working on herself, but I also think her sense of humor and ability to be objective about herself and her situation played a huge part!
Buckle up for this amazing episode and follow Brandi here, where you can learn all about the details of her story: https://www.tiktok.com/@brandistupica
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Give A Gift To The Partner You HAVE, Not The Partner You WISH You Had!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Today I have an amazing guest who is a true expert on all things addiction! Duane Osterlind is a therapist who has been working in the field of addiction for two decades and who hosts the podcast The Addicted Mind. We discuss:
- What is sex addiction?
- How do couples repair after betrayal trauma/PTSD?
- What is "deceptive sexuality"?
- What is the role of childhood trauma in eventual sex addiction?
- What's an "intimacy disorder"?
Duane is a great speaker with lots of great ways to understand this issue, and is compassionate and fair to both partners in this discussion. We also discuss the timeline of repair, the changes he has seen in who struggles with sex addiction over the course of his career (hint: changes in age and gender), and how dealing with shame is an integral aspect of healing from sex/porn addiction and the havoc it can wreak on relationships and your life overall.
Here are all of Duane's links!
I came up with this funny phrase in a couples session and told the couple it was too good not to use in a podcast! :) Some women feel like the CEO of the home, and they are okay with that, as long as the man acts like the COO or the CTO or anything but the CFO.... The Chief Fucking Officer. If all that your wife feels that you spearhead in the home is related to your spearhead, this isn't going to make her, another three letter acronym... DTF.
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Did You Change Each Other's Minds About Anything When Dating? If Not, Red Flag!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Many guys think that a woman taking care of a man is a turn off to her, and think "The only thing I really want from her is sex, so that will be my only ask." In fact, this makes her feel unloved, devalued, and like a sex worker. Here's how to change the frame and open yourself up to the scary feeling of interdependence, which is particularly hard for workhorse men!
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Did You Change Each Other's Minds About Anything When Dating? If Not, Red Flag!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Another rollicking good time and intriguing discussion with my spirit animal from across the pond: the inimitable Laura How! We discuss marriage, gender, how having a child shapes your ability to love, growing up in dysfunctional families, whether I will ever see her husband Russ on an episode, sons vs daughters, relationship skills vs innate compatibility, and so much more!! Leave a comment if you like our idea of recurring collaborations or even a group! And check out our upcoming YouTube and Facebook live:
https://www.facebook.com/share/1Ac7Y8X3mV/ Fri Dec 12 at 11a ET
And follow Laura here: https://www.youtube.com/@LauraHow
And of course, subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Did You Change Each Other's Minds About Anything When Dating? If Not, Red Flag!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Dr. Amanda Akers, one of our awesome Best Life clinicians, has a free flowing and often funny discussion with me about the ins and outs of psychoanalytic therapy. We cover myths vs reality, why both of us take a deeper perspective than CBT, our own thoughts about the impact of childhood in adulthood, and I ask her the most common questions I get from clients about this approach, like... how long does it take? Why does childhood matter in adulthood? And why does the therapist client relationship matter so much? Also covered: the idea of a "couple's world," and how therapy cannot create one but only return you to one if it existed! Book with Dr. Akers here:
https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/dr-amanda-akers
Books we discuss:
How To Love Your Daughter: https://amzn.to/3JpMBBc
Psychoanalytic Therapy by Nancy McWilliams: https://amzn.to/47BgHK2
Love's Executioner by Irvin Yalom: https://amzn.to/4hCVnsd
In this episode, I have an awesome special guest: Tehilla Luttig, LMHC! Tehilla is a licensed therapist in South Africa who sees therapy clients internationally and coaching clients in the U.S. and Canada for Best Life Behavioral Health. We discuss infidelity, attachment styles, and much more! Learn about who cheats and why, what people think about infidelity vs reality, and how to recover and move forward.
Learn about Tehilla and book with her here. She works with individuals and couples and even does intensives! https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/tehilla-luttig
Many guys have no idea how women internalize the idea that if you tell a man anything about his penis that isn't positive, you will destroy his self-esteem and his penis will never work again and IT WILL BE ALL HER FAULT! Today's episode discusses the origin of this idea, how it sabotages open communication and connection, and how to get over this myth and move forward (unless you tend to take everything personally, which will also be addressed)!
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "How Does Your Wife Feel About Your Default Sex Positions?"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Got a comment on Facebook on a post about how a common mistake people make in their 40s is not allotting enough time to foreplay. This guy said: "It's not people, it's women who need the foreplay. Let's keep things accurate if we are going to educate." I always do aim to educate and give accurate info, so here's a deeper dive into what I see in practice in terms of men and foreplay!
Join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "The Parenting Long Game... You May Be A Better Parent As Your Kids Get Older!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
The death of your parent(s) is a significant life event, and can lead to tremendous change in your self-concept. No matter how old you are, this makes you recognize that you are truly older, and the top generation. This was one topic we discussed this past week in the midlife women's group, and it resonated with many, whether or not you're close to your parent. And join the Midlife Women's group here: drpsychmom.com/mwg
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "The Parenting Long Game... You May Be A Better Parent As Your Kids Get Older!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
In this episode, I'm joined by Alyx Coble-Frakes, the CEO and founder of The Agenda., an awesome app that helps women understand and optimize their lives around their menstrual cycles and hormonal health. We are both in our luteal phases recording this lol. And we are both divorced and remarried/she is engaged. So much in common. Including that she lives next to my favorite state of Nebraska! A really fun discussion and I have a new friend :)
Check out The Agenda. here: https://www.theagendaperiod.com/
Shop here: https://shop.theagendaperiod.com/Follow her!
What a special treat! Today we have an interview with the ultimate otrovert Dr. K, who wrote the book The Gift Of Not Belonging (https://amzn.to/4nv3OqT)! He and I are both otroverts and we discuss how that manifests in love, family, career, and more. Highlights include:
- Otroverts are trendspotters
- Midlife crisis and why it happens
- Do otroverts do better married to other otroverts? (Spoiler: he and I are both married to other otroverts)
- Academia and modern medicine and their limitations according to otroverts
And so much more! This interview was the best!
If you wonder if you're an otrovert test, read this and take the quiz at the bottom: https://www.othernessinstitute.com/in-other-words/a-deeper-dive-into-otrovert-traits/
There is a lot of popular media discourse about the challenges of eldest daughters, but I haven't seen anything about eldest sons. I have many of these high achieving, responsible men in my practice, and they have a unique set of struggles. Listen to understand yourself or your partner better!
Join the Midlife Women's group: drpsychmom.com/mwg
I've started making podcast PLAYLISTS! all about individual topics. Follow Dr. Psych Mom on Spotify for all of them. Here's one: Dr. Psych Mom on Sex and Aging!
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Cure vs Management Perspective of Mental/Physical/Relationship Issues!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
All about otroverts! I can't wait to interview the creator of this idea in a few days, Dr. Rami Kaminski. For now you will have to settle for my discussion of this new term, coined only in June 2025!
Take the test at the bottom of this page: https://www.othernessinstitute.com/in-other-words/a-deeper-dive-into-otrovert-traits/
Buy the book: https://amzn.to/4gRuEaKhttps://amzn.to/4gRuEaK
The other known otrovert at Best Life is Cat Roebuck, book coaching with her! https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/cat-roebuck-cpc
Join the Midlife Women's group: drpsychmom.com/mwg
I've started making podcast PLAYLISTS! all about individual topics. Follow Dr. Psych Mom on Spotify for all of them. Here's one: Dr. Psych Mom on Sex and Aging!
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Cure vs Management Perspective of Mental/Physical/Relationship Issues!"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
Today's episode features a special guest: Jackie Aston, LCSW-C, who provides therapy to individuals and couples in D.C. and Maryland. We discuss the fascinating link between porn use in men and eating disordered behaviors in their partners. What is the commonality between these behaviors and why would they manifest in similar types of individuals? Really interesting discussion with Jackie Aston, and definitely something most of us have not considered!
More about Jackie: https://www.candgtherapy.com/about
Follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/jackie_aston_therapist
People who were raised in authoritarian homes often feel compelled to assert their individuality across multiple domains: hobbies, preferred music/TV/movies, food, what they like in bed or in the romantic sphere, and anything else. They fear that if they try new things at others' behest, this means they aren't being true to themselves. But, this closemindedness stops them from being loving partners, parents, and even friends. How can you balance your own preferences with the idea of flexibility and growth?
Midlife Women's group: drpsychmom.com/mwg
By the way, I've started making podcast PLAYLISTS! all about individual topics. Follow Dr. Psych Mom on Spotify for all of them. Here's one: Dr. Psych Mom on Sex and Aging!
Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Can A Marriage Work With Very Different Energy Levels?"
For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom
For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/
For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/