Welcome to your stupid, stupid life. Also, listen to this podcast! The Goods and Mishap pontificate about all the hot topics but not Hot Topic, which is neither hot nor a topic. Additionally, get ready to livestream all your orifices hemorrhaging glitter, as the GC's recorded a new song just in time for the collapse of society. Email us your darkest fantasies at theglitterycreeps@gmail.com.

Emerge from the ashes to realize you were probably better off in the ashes. Emily Post tells us how to introduce, dating is as hot as a garbage fire, and the Creeps make your fantasies seem TV friendly by converting odd mystery words into sexiness you'll have to explain to your therapist. 

Emily Post's Etiquette is a time capsule left on Earth to remind you that rich people have been terrible for many generations. We get to hear Ms. Post rank the various Debutante affairs and throw mad shade at those who are not Robber Barons. The Creeps have our own ideas. 

The Tale of Two Bad Mice is tragic, in that it perfectly illustrates the unstable ebb and flow of opiate addiction. Potter’s careening highs and lows are on display as the titular characters go through any number of quixotic states that culminate in perhaps the biggest left-turn in moralistic fable history. She clearly finished this one on a high. All views and statements are intended as satire.

The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin is a blatant indictment of Potter’s hatred of children. Her desperation to mutilate any purveyor of impertinence bleeds through the entire fable. You can feel her Xenomorphic acid-saliva dripping upon you as your inner child ponders singing a song. Just don’t. Beatrix is watching. All views and statements are intended as satire.

The Pie and the Patty Pan is the work of a maniac. You could lose a galaxy in the plot holes. The following four-word story has a tighter narrative: “Door closes. Clown apocalypse.”  Perhaps its lone saving grace is a taut Sapphic energy that may be unintentional but is undeniably present. Other than that, good luck. All views and statements are intended as satire.