Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast. Hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews welcome Jessica Westover, a practicing marriage and family therapist, who shares how her education combines with her personal loss experiences to help bring hope to others. Jessica recounts her first traumatic grief experience: a missed miscarriage during her initial pregnancy. This profound loss was compounded when her grandpa passed away the very next day, creating a difficult "surrounding of grief" during her master's program.
Jessica dives deep into the concept of ambiguous loss, defined as a loss that lacks clarity or finality. She explains how a miscarriage fits this definition (physical absence with psychological presence) and the unique challenges, such as facing a "roller coaster of hope," lacking normative community support, and struggling with guilt or embarrassment. Jessica emphasizes that there is not a "right way to live life to not feel pain," and that shame often adds "optional pain" to difficult situations.
After struggling with depression and anger, Jessica found a path to healing by writing a heartfelt letter to her little one. She shares the symbolic act of placing the letter in a bottle and releasing it into the river, representing a choice to trust the Savior. This spiritual experience helped her develop a three-step healing process: Writing (for catharsis and validation), Feeling/Doing (a unique action guided by the spirit), and Remembering. She testifies that Jesus Christ is the Master Healer who is intimately aware of our healing and that we never walk alone.
Resources: Books by Pauline Boss, PhD
How to add a miscarried child or stillborn in FamilySearch
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