Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast. Hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews interview Jenni Theobald, who shares the traumatic story of losing her son, Adam, when she was approximately 25 weeks along in the year 2000. Jenni recounts being on a trip to Las Vegas when she woke up in labor. In the hospital, an ultrasound tech brutally informed her: "Your baby's dead" because there were "no fetal heart tones". Following the loss, Jenni and her husband struggled to process the guilt and grief in a community where pregnancy loss is often "forbidden to talk about".
Jenni explains her difficulty with the term "miscarriage," which felt like an accusation that she had made a "mistake" or done something wrong. She recalls a family member dismissing her pain, saying, "It's just a miscarriage. Why are you upset? It wasn't a real baby". The pregnancy-loss experience caused a huge paradigm shift, leading her to leave her teaching career and focus intently on motherhood, recognizing the power and importance of family.
Ultimately, Jenni found the courage to move forward by leaning into the Savior. She found comfort in the song "I walked today where Jesus walked," realizing she needed to pick up her heavy burdens and keep moving forward, allowing her sorrow to deepen her capacity for joy. She testifies that the Atonement makes broken things whole and that the Lord "backfills where we lack with the spirit and buoy us up".
Resources: I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked
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Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast. Hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews interview Jordan Robertson, who shares the powerful story of losing her husband, Jake Robertson, to Glioblastoma Multiforme almost ten years ago. Jake was an attorney, a devoted BYU Cougar fan, and described as the perfect girl dad to their four young children. Jordan recounts the shocking and sudden terminal diagnosis, which occurred in January 2014, shortly after the birth of their son.
Despite the initial life expectancy of 14 months, Jake’s life was mercifully extended for over two years after they found a neurosurgeon willing to operate and participate in a clinical trial. Jordan shares that Jake chose to live a normal life with his family while making special memories. Following Jake’s death and a subsequent move, Jordan experienced a period of profound bereavement, describing the emotional state as sitting in the destruction after a "nuclear bomb" had gone off.
Jordan explains how she found healing through intellectual study of grief, through movement (like taking up skiing), and by serving others through hospice work, which led her to pursue a PhD in counseling psychology. Ultimately, she testifies that Jesus Christ is the ultimate healer who companioned her through the pain, emphasizing the message of Isaiah 53. She finds hope in His suffering, concluding with the powerful lyrics: "Hope did not die here but here was given. Here is hope".
Resources: Because of Jesus by Jordan Robertson
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Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast, featuring the talented artist and social media personality, Jenedy Paige, who is also known for her appearance on American Ninja Warrior. Jenedy joins David Mickelson and Kori Andrews to share the profound story of losing her three-year-old son, Victory Morgan. She beautifully describes her early life as a "Disney princess" living in a metaphorical "Garden of Eden," before tragedy moved her to a place of immense pain and disappointment.
Jenedy recounts the tragic seven-week struggle after Victory Morgan fell into their family pool in Tucson. Despite having a deep, evidence-based relationship with God, built upon years of daily journaling and prayer, she was left "severely disappointed" when her desperate prayers for a miracle were not answered as she wished. She learned that God never intends for us to rewind the clock, but rather for us to go forward.
Through this devastating loss, Jenedy discovered that sorrow had "carved her out," creating a cavity—which she called her "Grand Canyon"—that now had a capacity for joy. She shares how painting became a survival tool, pouring out her grief onto the canvas. Jenedy testifies that Jesus Christ is the Master Healer who can bring the Grand Canyon together, healing the soul and transforming the grieving into a "2.0 version" of themselves.
Resources:
Coming Full Circle Book by Jenedy Paige (highly recommend!)
The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis
How Can I Find God's Love in My Grief? YouTube Video
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Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast. Hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews welcome Jessica Westover, a practicing marriage and family therapist, who shares how her education combines with her personal loss experiences to help bring hope to others. Jessica recounts her first traumatic grief experience: a missed miscarriage during her initial pregnancy. This profound loss was compounded when her grandpa passed away the very next day, creating a difficult "surrounding of grief" during her master's program.
Jessica dives deep into the concept of ambiguous loss, defined as a loss that lacks clarity or finality. She explains how a miscarriage fits this definition (physical absence with psychological presence) and the unique challenges, such as facing a "roller coaster of hope," lacking normative community support, and struggling with guilt or embarrassment. Jessica emphasizes that there is not a "right way to live life to not feel pain," and that shame often adds "optional pain" to difficult situations.
After struggling with depression and anger, Jessica found a path to healing by writing a heartfelt letter to her little one. She shares the symbolic act of placing the letter in a bottle and releasing it into the river, representing a choice to trust the Savior. This spiritual experience helped her develop a three-step healing process: Writing (for catharsis and validation), Feeling/Doing (a unique action guided by the spirit), and Remembering. She testifies that Jesus Christ is the Master Healer who is intimately aware of our healing and that we never walk alone.
Resources: Books by Pauline Boss, PhD
How to add a miscarried child or stillborn in FamilySearch
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In this powerful episode, we introduce Kyle Beagley, who shares the story of losing his daughter, Kirsten Beagley, during her senior year of high school in 2024. Kyle lovingly recalls Kirsten’s light and big blue eyes, noting that she was dedicated to dance and served as the drill team captain. A determined goal setter, Kirsten achieved her major goal of winning a drill-down competition about a month before her tragic passing.
Kyle recounts the sudden loss following a tragic tubing accident at a winter formal activity, where Kirsten hit her head on the road. In the immediate aftermath, marked by shock and numbness, the family was sustained by an overwhelming outpouring of love and service from the community, especially through comforting hugs. After news outlets covered the incident, President Jeffrey R. Holland reached out to the Beagley family by phone and later attended Kirsten’s funeral.
Kyle shares the profound ministering received from President Holland, who emphasized that "faith always points forward" and that the family should look forward to reunion rather than dwelling on the past. President Holland also taught that "tears are the price we pay for love" and that God accepts the sacrifice of a "broken heart". Despite the immense grief, Kyle testifies that Jesus Christ is the Master Healer who "is fixing it, has fixed it, will fix it". By looking unto Christ, hope and healing are found, making what is broken whole again for eternity.
Resource: Church News Article
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This episode of the Grief and Belief podcast features hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews interviewing their friend, Ben Cummings, a university professor. Ben shares the profoundly difficult yet ultimately hopeful story of his daughter, Eleanor, who passed away from a rare form of leukemia (Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia, or APML) at the age of about three and a half. Eleanor is lovingly remembered as a "firecracker" and a bundle of energy who loved "all things pink and purple," possessing a magical belief that she could fly with her fairy wings.
The central theme Ben explores is the hopeful principle that God is in the trenches with us during times of profound grief and challenge. Ben recounts the devastating onset of her illness, beginning with stroke-like symptoms that quickly worsened, leading to catastrophic strokes and brain swelling. The most agonizing decision came when he and his wife wrestled with when to remove Eleanor's life-sustaining support. They sought divine guidance, learning to trust not only God's will but also that "thy timing be done," eventually receiving an "overwhelming sense of peace".
Ben explains that this trial taught him a deeper level of love and compassion. He highlights "tender mercies" they received, including a nurse named "Hope" and unexpected support from neighbors and co-workers of diverse faith traditions. Ben concludes by offering a powerful testimony of the resurrection. He notes that his two youngest sons, Peter and John, were both born on Easter, serving as personal "witnesses of the resurrection," reinforcing his conviction that hope in Christ "saves".
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Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast, hosted by David Mickelson and Kori Andrews, where we share stories of hope. In this episode, we welcome April Engstrom, who shares her experience regarding the passing of her mother, Cheryl Anne McLane, who died in 2020 due to her seventh bout of cancer. April was connected to the show by a friend from an earlier interview, Mary Colton.
April introduces Cheryl as an optimistic, determined, six-generation Texan. Cheryl was an avid sportswoman and dedicated equestrian. She was so passionate about the sport of cowboy mounted shooting—a very "wild west" and "Texas" pursuit—that she started the first women’s division (CMSA). Over 23 years, Cheryl battled seven different cancers, miraculously beating six of them. April describes her mother’s faith, developed after converting to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as "extremely simple and beautiful," serving as her "anchor" and providing a perspective of eternity. Cheryl emphasized that her most important roles were being a mother and wife, and loving her Savior.
April discusses the "heavensent gift" of being able to work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic, which allowed her to spend the last five months of her mother’s life at her side. While grieving the loss of her "Wonder Woman" mother—the "glue" of the family—April shares how her mother’s simple faith ultimately strengthened her own belief in eternal families. April finds profound comfort and hope in a journal her mother kept, entitled "52 Lists for Happiness", which details Cheryl's reliance on her faith even during her terminal diagnosis, making it a "priceless gift" that continues to support April’s journey through grief.Resources: 52 Lists for Happiness
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Welcome to the Grief and Belief podcast, hosted by David Mickelson and Kori Andrews, featuring Tiffany Oldham. Tiffany shares her powerful story of faith and the reality of angels. Tiffany and her husband, Jed, are married 18 years and live in a farming community outside Spanish Fork, Utah, raising their five children. They discuss their oldest son, George, a beloved "leader of the pack". George was an energetic, funny, and curious boy, earning the nickname "Curious George" and enjoying numerous activities like karate and football. George, who loved animals, passed away in a devastating accident on March 6, 2021, at age 12, while riding his new bike near their home.
Tiffany recounts the horrifying moment of realizing George would not survive, despite Jed’s attempts at life-saving measures. Feeling utterly hopeless, Tiffany knelt on the road, praying aloud and repeatedly begging Heavenly Father to send His angels to be with George, her husband, and their children. A major tender mercy arrived as she recalled that just two nights earlier, the family had unexpectedly watched a video titled "One-on-One" about a father who accidentally ran over his son, allowing her to bear testimony of the plan of salvation beforehand. Tiffany now relies completely on Heaven’s help, recognizing that the task of enduring such grief is impossible to carry alone. She feels supported by "loving hands" and knows she is "not alone" in her suffering.
Despite the agonizing reminders near their home, Tiffany felt an overwhelming feeling that George wanted them to stay and continue pursuing the dreams they shared. The family embraced the powerful symbolism derived from Jed’s last instruction to George—to "open the gate". This led to their motto: "living life like someone left the gate open," which Tiffany views as a message from George encouraging them to live fully and make new memories. She sees George as being on another mission and prays to be his companion, connecting with him through the Holy Ghost, as angels speak through its power. Tiffany and her family honor George through temple work, even establishing the tradition of "Christmas in heaven," where his friends and family gather to perform ordinances. She testifies that the Savior Jesus Christ loves us so much that He provides angels and constant reminders that "He's mindful of me".
Resources: One-On-One YouTube Video
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In this episode of the Grief and Belief podcast, hosts David Mickelson and Corey Andrews welcome Stu Davis to share the powerful story of losing his son, Grant, 19 years ago. Stu, an orthopedic surgeon, active outdoorsman, and a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, provides a glimpse into his family's life and his journey through medical school and his career. He describes his son Grant as a precocious, fun-loving, and "all-American great kid" who was outgoing, humorous, and deeply dedicated to his faith and family.
Stu recounts Grant's extraordinary passion and talent for road cycling, which began as a Boy Scout merit badge activity and quickly blossomed into a potential professional career. Grant was a nationally ranked cyclist who had been invited to train at the U.S. Olympic Training Center just a month before his accident. This incredible self-driven dedication was tragically cut short when, at 16 years old, Grant collided with a parked truck during a routine training ride, resulting in a broken neck and a severe lack of oxygen to his brain. Stu, drawing on his medical background, quickly understood the severity of the situation and shares the family's decision to donate Grant's organs, which helped save three other lives.
Throughout the conversation, Stu reflects on the spiritual experiences that provided comfort and perspective in the aftermath of Grant's passing. He discusses the eternal promises found in Grant's patriarchal blessing, which Grant never had the chance to read himself, and how it reassured his family that this life is just a transition. Stu also explores how his medical training prepared him for the clinical reality of death but not for the profound sense of separation from his son. He shares his testimony that while he has questioned many things over the past 19 years, his knowledge that he will see Grant again because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ has been the "iron rod" he has held onto.
Resources: The Alchemist
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This episode of the Grief and Belief podcast features hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews interviewing their friend, Cindy Thredgold, who shares the story of her son, Connor. Connor, known by his family as a responsible "doer" who loved repairing cars, passed away as a missionary in the Taiwan Taipei mission in 2014. He and his companion tragically died from carbon monoxide poisoning, which Cindy described as quick and overwhelming.
The discussion centers on Cindy's hopeful theme: "Today’s challenge is tomorrow’s testimony," or, as found in Connor's scriptures, "Our greatest blessings come from our greatest trials". Cindy recounts the emotional difficulty of being notified by church leaders and the subsequent three-week wait for Connor’s body to be returned home from Taiwan. Despite the overwhelming grief, Cindy felt immediately "content" that Heavenly Father knew what He was doing and never experienced the anger that often accompanies loss.
Cindy highlights the "compensating blessings" that followed, noting that God provided personal comfort by arranging major family events (like the birth of her grandchild) to occur on anniversaries of Connor's death, emphasizing that Heavenly Father "knows our dates". She explains that experiencing this loss brought her to a deeper level of understanding of Christ's Atonement. In honor of Connor’s memory, Cindy also co-manages a service that provides free memorial portraits to the families of other missionaries who have passed away while serving.
Resources:
Virtual Cemetery for missionaries who died while serving
Virtual Cemetery for missionaries who died right before or after serving
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In this episode of the Grief and Belief podcast, hosts David Mickelson and Kori Andrews sit down with Addie Billman to discuss her story of profound loss, faith, and the protective power of angels. Addie shares how she met her fun and energetic husband, Wyatt, their love story, and the joy they shared with their young son, Arlo. Just two months shy of their second wedding anniversary, Wyatt was tragically killed in a car accident involving a semi-truck on black ice, leaving 21-year-old Addie a widow with a one-year-old son. Addie recounts the harrowing moments of discovering the accident and the unbelievable shock of having her greatest fear confirmed.
Throughout the episode, Addie describes the overwhelming grief and the tender mercies that helped her navigate the immediate aftermath of Wyatt's passing. She shares a sacred experience where she felt Wyatt's presence through their son Arlo, just hours after his death. However, the story takes an astonishing turn when, just four months later, Addie herself is involved in a severe car accident, also with a semi-truck. While trapped and unconscious in her vehicle, she had a remarkable near-death experience where she saw Wyatt and their miscarried baby, who assured her that everything would be okay before she woke up to the chaos of the crash scene.
Addie's story is a powerful testament to the reality of ministering angels and their ability to physically protect us. She explains how she chose gratitude over guilt, leaning on a quote by Francis Weller about carrying grief in one hand and gratitude in the other. She testifies that Wyatt's final message to her was a message of love for everyone from the angels on the other side. Ultimately, Addie shares how this journey deepened her relationship with Jesus Christ, who she came to know as a true friend who has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.
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In this deeply moving episode, we hear from Krista Isaacson, who bravely shares her journey as a self-described "hopeful mourner" after the passing of her cherished daughter, Elora. A mother of six and grandmother of three, Krista illuminates how her unwavering faith in Jesus Christ has been her anchor, providing solace and purpose through unimaginable grief.
Krista recounts a profound personal experience of divine preparation: two weeks before Elora became ill, she received a strong prompting to study how Jesus Christ faced immense pain in Gethsemane and declared, "Not my will but thine be done". This spiritual foresight provided her with scriptures, hymns, and words of peace, confidence, and love from Heavenly Father, which became a very personal answer to her prayers when she faced the agonizing decision about Elora's life support. She vividly describes feeling like she was sinking in a "dark torrent of water" when her faith was rocked, but by reaching out with the three-word prayer, "Help me, Lord," she felt the Savior take her hand, not removing her trials but promising she would not drown.
Her journey of belief led her to pen the book, "Unbearable Burden," reflecting her conviction that with Christ's grace, "every unbearable burden can become bearable". Krista testifies that Jesus Christ has "truly hath become my savior," trusting him implicitly to lead her to good, even through the hardest and most incomprehensible challenges. She deeply believes in his promise, "I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you" (John 14:18), having experienced His constant presence and help as a true friend who always keeps His promises.
Resources: Krista's website
Find Unbearable Burden on Amazon
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Welcome to a poignant episode of the Grief and Belief podcast, featuring Mikkele Daybell, who offers her unique perspective as the older sister to Grant, whose story was previously shared by their mother, April Gallier, in episode 16. Mikkele, now 25, grew up in Springville, Utah, taking on a significant caregiving role for Grant from a young age, including managing his G-tube and medications and even babysitting by nine years old. She lovingly describes Grant as a brother who, despite communication challenges, expressed himself through actions and was a constant, supportive presence at her volleyball games.
Mikkele recounts Grant's lifelong health struggles, which included frequent illnesses and infections, ultimately leading to his passing in 2017 when she was 17 years old. She vividly recalls the emotional drive to the hospital and the heartbreaking decision for her parents to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order, a moment when other people's "normal lives" seemed so distant from her family's profound grief. The family found comfort in singing Grant's favorite song, "Follow the Prophet," which fittingly opened his funeral service.
After Grant's death, Mikkele initially faced a loss of purpose, feeling the void left by her extensive caregiving responsibilities. However, her experience profoundly shaped her path, inspiring her to become a special education teacher and to create watercolor portraits and Christ-centered artwork, which she now sees as part of her life's mission. Her story beautifully illustrates how navigating deep grief can lead to a renewed sense of purpose and a strengthened connection to one's beliefs.
Resources: Faceless by Mikkele
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This podcast episode features Jared, a recent high school graduate, discussing the sudden and tragic deaths of his brother and father within weeks of each other. Jared shares how he coped with immense grief by finding purpose through service and a church history trip, where he received a personal spiritual confirmation that his loved ones were still nearby.
He emphasizes the profound impact of community support and the importance of choosing joy and helping others, even amidst deep sorrow, as a testament to his faith and belief in eternal families. Jared's narrative ultimately centers on his commitment to serve a mission and spread the message of hope and the love of Jesus Christ, drawing strength from his experiences and the knowledge that he will reunite with his family.
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***This episode does contain some references to suicide without specific details of the event***
This podcast episode features Jennifer Suiter, who shares her incredibly poignant story of losing both her son, Brian, and husband, Chris, within a 20-day period. The hosts guide Jennifer as she eloquently describes her loved ones, emphasizing Brian's journey from a friendless child to a compassionate young man, and Chris's role as a devoted husband and father.
A central theme is the unexpected nature of their deaths: Brian's suicide is powerfully linked to a concussion he sustained three years prior, highlighting the often-unseen long-term impacts of head injuries and the importance of seeking help. Chris's death was a tragic car accident, hit by a teenage driver, adding another layer of shock and grief. Despite the immense sorrow, Jennifer repeatedly underscores her unwavering belief that "families can be together forever" and the importance of gratitude, service, and allowing others to help in navigating profound loss, illustrating how these principles have sustained her through an unimaginable ordeal.
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In this insightful episode, the Grief and Belief podcast features Kyle Lemmon, a long-time friend of David Mickelson. Kyle introduces himself as a father of a blended family with 6 children, ranging from ages 10 to 20 years old.
The interview centers on Kyle's profound experience of losing his first wife, Andrea, in 2012 due to bacterial meningitis, a tragic event that occurred suddenly after she fell ill during a family trip. With 13 years having passed since her death, Kyle offers a unique, long-term perspective on grief and healing, distinct from many other guests who are in the earlier stages of their loss. This distance allows him to reflect on how his life has unfolded and how unexpected blessings have emerged from such a traumatic period.
A central theme of Kyle's discussion is the law of compensation, an idea introduced to him shortly after Andrea's passing by an emeritus general authority. He shares that while life may not always follow a predictable "formulaic" path, God's plan is ultimately better, and blessings will compensate for losses endured. Kyle illustrates this with examples from his life, including his marriage to April, their son Seth (whose name means "compensation" in Hebrew), and how his son with autism has profoundly blessed their family. Through his grief, Kyle has come to believe that Jesus Christ will guide and shape individuals through difficult experiences, and that the Savior is the only way to find solace from loss, pain, and agony, urging listeners to be covenant-keeping and to trust in the Lord's path.
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In this moving episode, Shalee Taylor courageously shares her deeply personal journey of coping with seven miscarriages. She recounts the profound emotional toll each loss took, from initial excitement to anger, deep sadness, and even numbness.
Shalee reveals that after her fourth miscarriage, she felt broken, with faith in God but no hope in Him. However, a transformative insight from the New Testament story of Lazarus — "Jesus waited, but He still came" — became a beacon of hope. This realization helped her understand that the Savior's timing, even when delayed, ensures His eventual presence and understanding.
Through these harrowing experiences, Shalee's belief in Jesus Christ has become more real and profoundly strengthened. She shares a unique empathy for the Savior, understanding that He alone could atone for sins and be resurrected, mirroring her own isolated experience of loss. Her powerful testimony highlights that even amidst bleak circumstances, Christ offers a path to healing and enduring joy.
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In this special episode of the Grief and Belief podcast, we welcome Jessica Brandley. Jessica shares her deeply personal journey of honoring grief after the unexpected passing of her husband, Jim.
Jim, described as fun-loving and full of life, tragically died after an accident. Jessica recounts the harrowing hours leading up to his death, including the moment he asked, "Are you going to be okay when I'm gone?". She delves into the raw moments of discovering his passing and the subsequent process of navigating this profound loss.
The episode also highlights Jessica's unique path to finding comfort and creating a blended family. She discusses her new marriage and how she embraced the name Jessica Hall Brandley to honor both families. Jessica testifies that, even in the deepest moments of despair, the Savior picked her up and carried her, especially during moments like cleaning up after her children, feeling His presence right there with her. Her story is a powerful testament to finding strength and connection to Jesus Christ amidst indescribable sorrow.
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This podcast episode of Grief and Belief features David Mickelson and guest co-host Brian Mickelson interviewing LeGrand Laing, a seminary teacher. The core of the discussion revolves around LeGrand's experience of grieving the unexpected death of his eldest son, Brayden, who passed away at 21 in a motorcycle accident.
Throughout the interview, LeGrand emphasizes Brayden's exceptionally positive, unifying, and service-oriented nature, highlighting his profound impact on others. A central theme introduced by LeGrand is the principle of "running to the Savior first," an idea suggesting that focusing on Jesus Christ is the primary path to healing and ultimately reuniting with loved ones, even amidst immense sorrow.
The conversation also explores how LeGrand and his family have found strength through faith, prayer, scripture study, and temple worship in the aftermath of their devastating loss.
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Join us for a powerful and deeply moving episode with Jen Dyal, sharing her journey of grief and belief after the loss of her oldest son, Jack, at just nine years old in 2016. Jack was a beloved, kind, and unifying spirit. Jen recounts the auto-pedestrian accident that occurred on her husband Nate's birthday, the chaotic hospital experience, and the agonizing decision against a medically induced coma for her "vivacious nine-year-old boy". She describes the heartbreaking goodbyes before Jack's organ donation, accompanied by the "Come and Get Your Love" song by Redbone.
A central theme is forgiveness. Jen remarkably shares immediately forgiving the driver, who hit Jack, having met her just weeks prior. She discusses the contrasting ways she and Nate processed forgiveness, and her children's developmental paths to understanding.
Through profound loss, Jen believes God doesn't cause suffering but knows what's coming due to human choices. She emphasizes the power of choice in handling grief and forgiveness, and a Savior who carries her through every decision, always present without forcing her to come to Him.