If you keep losing yourself the moment you like someone… this video will change your dating life.
Today we’re talking about how to decenter men while dating and in a relationship — so you can stop worrying about whether he likes you and start focusing on whether he’s aligned with you.
In this video, we cover:
✨ What it really means to “center a man”
✨ Why women lose themselves when they catch feelings
✨ How conditioning, trauma, and scarcity mindsets impact dating
✨ How to stay grounded, confident, and self-led
✨ How to maintain your routines, boundaries, and identity
✨ How to date without anxiety, overthinking, or performing
✨ How to keep decentering men inside a relationship
✨ The mindset shifts that help you stop chasing male validation
✨ What healthy attraction feels like vs. anxious attachment
✨ How to evaluate men instead of auditioning for them
This isn’t about being cold or detached — it’s about being whole.
Decentering men is not anti-men. It’s pro-you.
If you want to build a meaningful life and healthy relationships, this video is your guide.
—————
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You’ve probably heard the phrase “decenter men” — but what does that really mean?
In this video, I break down what decentering men actually looks like in real life — and why it’s not about hating men or avoiding relationships. It’s about re-centering yourself.
We’ll talk about:
✨ The real definition of “decentering men” and who coined the phrase (Charlie Taylor)
✨ Why it’s a lifestyle, not a temporary phase
✨ The challenges women face when learning to live this way — and how to work through them
✨ The common misconceptions (like “you can’t want love and decenter men”)
✨ Why women were conditioned to center men in the first place
✨ And how to date while decentering men
This isn’t about becoming “anti-men.”
It’s about becoming pro-you.
You can want love and still decenter men.
You can be soft and still have boundaries.
You can date and still live from your center.
Because once you make peace your priority — everything changes.
———
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The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n
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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld
💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
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So let’s talk about the real reason you can’t let go.
It’s not because he’s your soulmate.
It’s not because the connection was “too strong to walk away from.”
You’re scared of detaching because detachment forces you to sit with the feeling of not being chosen.
And that feeling is uncomfortable.
It’s vulnerable.
It’s raw.
But that feeling isn’t proof that you’re unlovable.
It’s just proof that you care and that your heart still remembers how to hope.
On this episode, we’re going to walk through why detachment feels so painful, how to sit in the discomfort instead of running from it, and how to choose yourself again — even when your heart is still attached.
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The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n
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YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
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When a man only starts acting right once you’re done, that’s not love, that’s panic.
He’s not afraid of losing you, he’s afraid of losing access to you.
Because if he truly planned to love you properly, he would’ve been doing it all along.
This video is for the woman who’s finally realizing that his “change” isn’t growth, it’s fear.
Fear of losing control. Fear of losing the version of you that tolerated him.
You deserve a love that’s consistent, not conditional.
The kind that shows up before you threaten to walk away.
If you’ve ever had a man suddenly “change” once you were ready to leave, this video will help you understand why and remind you to trust your peace more than his promises.
Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs
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The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n
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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld
💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
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You can do all the healing work.
You can love yourself, set boundaries, and believe you’ve finally chosen right — and still end up betrayed.
This episode is for the women who did everything “right” but still got hurt.
The truth is, you can’t always vet betrayal. You can’t control how a man chooses to show up, no matter how much self-love or discernment you have.
💜1:1 coaching &
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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld
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YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
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If you’ve ever felt confused by men who say the right things but never show up with the same energy, this video will help you recognize real kindness, emotional maturity, and integrity — the kind that doesn’t fade once he gets what he wants.
I’ll share how to spot:
• The difference between genuine and performative kindness
• Signs he respects your boundaries
• How truly good men behave when they don’t get their way
• Why peace might feel “boring” if you’re used to chaos
• And what to do when you finally meet a good man
This one’s for the women who are tired of bare-minimum love and ready to experience peace, reciprocity, and the kind of connection that feels safe.
📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD
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💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
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Too many women get stuck in toxic dating cycles because we give men the kind of love we wish they would give us, instead of paying attention to the love they’re actually showing us.
In this video, I break down why women need to:
If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why do I keep attracting the same type of man?’ this video will shift everything about the way you date.
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YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
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So many women are trapped in relationships because of a wounded ego. When your ego is in survival mode, you beg to be chosen, over-give, and confuse a man’s validation with your worth. But true power comes when you retrain your ego—not to beg, but to protect.
In this video, I’m breaking down in concrete steps how a woman can reclaim her power, heal her wounded ego, and step into her divine femininity. You’ll learn how to stop proving yourself to men, stop personalizing rejection, and start using your ego as a bodyguard instead of a beggar.
It’s time to stop chasing and start choosing. It’s time to walk in your worth, reclaim your crown, and embody your feminine power.
If you’re ready to step into your highest self, this video will give you the mindset shift you need.
📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD
📝The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
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💜books, coaching and more:
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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld
💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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Walking away isn’t always about heartbreak—it’s about self-respect. In this video, I share the truth about what it means to leave a man who will never get it. Too often, our ego tricks us into thinking we need to prove ourselves to him, when really, our power comes from letting go.
This is about retraining your ego to work for you—to be your bodyguard, not your beggar. It’s about no longer chasing validation from a man who cannot see your worth, and standing firm in the truth of who you are.
If you’ve ever found yourself trying to “make him see,” this message is for you. You don’t have to beg for love—you are love. 💫
📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD
The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl
💜books, coaching and more:
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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld
💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
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ALIGNED DATING VS DATING GAMES
Tired of dating “rules” that feel like games? This episode flips the script. You’ll learn 10 healthy dating rules that help you align with emotionally mature men—plus the ALIGN Checklist, a tool you can use after every date to stay grounded and choose better.
So much modern dating advice teaches women to perform for validation instead of aligning with partners who actually fit. But good men don’t play games—and they won’t stick around for them either.
In this video, I’ll show you:
✅ Why scarcity of good, mature men is real (and how to filter better)
✅ 10 aligned dating rules that create clarity instead of confusion
✅ The ALIGN Checklist (Authenticity, Lifestyle, Integrity, Growth, Needs)
✅ Scripts and post-date questions to keep anxious attachment in check
Whether you’re dating again after heartbreak, navigating the apps, or simply tired of situationships, these rules will help you stop auditioning and start aligning.
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl
💜books, coaching and more:
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💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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There’s a difference between a man who consumes you and a man who commits to you. In this video, we break down wanted vs valued and consumption vs commitment—how to spot the signs, why we confuse intensity with intimacy, and what real commitment actually looks like. If you’ve felt like “something is missing,” this is your confirmation to trust your intuition and choose love that builds you, not love that drains you.
Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
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💜books, coaching and more:
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💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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We give men like this way too much credit—and we fault ourselves unfairly.
He was never going to commit, no matter how loyal, loving, or patient you were.
Because commitment was never his intention to begin with.
This video is your wake-up call.
To stop blaming yourself for how a man mishandled you.
To stop romanticizing his potential.
And to finally see that his inability to commit had nothing to do with your worth.
He had plans to consume you, not commit to you—and the moment you accept that is the moment you set yourself free.
✨ Let’s connect:
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BONUS podcast episodes
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💜books, coaching and more:
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💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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How to Trust Men Again (Without Betraying Yourself) 💔➡️❤️
In this video, I open up about my personal journey of learning how to trust again—starting with trusting myself.
We’ll explore:
✨ How to rebuild trust after heartbreak
✨ Why self-trust is the foundation before trusting anyone else
✨ How childhood experiences taught us to ignore our intuition
✨ The real reason it feels scary to let your guard down
Whether you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or just feel guarded—this conversation is for you. Healing is possible, and trust doesn’t have to feel like a risk when it starts within.
🧠 Mindset shifts
💡 Real-life reflections
🩷 Soft but honest truths
Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
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💜books, coaching and more:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
💜MY SOCIALS:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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If you keep finding yourself staying with men who don’t value you the way you know you deserve to be valued—this video is your wake-up call.
It’s not just about them—it’s about what you believe you’re worth, and why you keep negotiating with people who can’t see your value.
In this video, I break down:
• Why you keep staying too long
• How to stop tying your worth to a man’s treatment of you
• What it looks like to stand in your value, even when someone else can’t
• The emotional shifts that change everything
You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. Especially not to a man who can’t even recognize it.
✨ You are the prize. Now start acting like it.
✨ Let’s connect:
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YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (146K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (37.2K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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So many of us have normalized emotional unavailability, confusion, and inconsistency in relationships… and then we wonder why we’re exhausted, anxious, and constantly second-guessing ourselves.
But there are emotionally safe, mature men out there—men who communicate clearly, take accountability, and make you feel seen, not silenced. In this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what that kind of man looks like, what emotional safety feels like in love, and why you should never settle for anything less.
If you’re healing, growing, and protecting your peace—this one’s for you.
✨ Let’s connect:
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I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (146K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (37.2K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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As a woman who loves deeply, I had to learn the hard way that not every man deserves access to my heart. Being loving, nurturing, and emotionally available is powerful—but it also means you need to be selective about who gets to experience that version of you.
Most men aren’t emotionally mature enough to handle a woman who shows up with real love, real intention, and real depth. They fumble it, misuse it, or try to dim it.
This video is a reminder to protect your heart, not because you’re guarded—but because you know the value of it.
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
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💜MY SOCIALS:
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (149k followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
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When He Loves You But Doesn’t Like You | My Personal Story & Eye-Opening Signs
In this video, I’m sharing my personal experience of being in a relationship where he loved me—but didn’t actually like me. It took me a long time to realize the difference, and even longer to admit the damage it did to my self-esteem.
I’ll walk you through the subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs I ignored, what being in this kind of relationship really feels like, and how it slowly chips away at your sense of self-worth. If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained, unseen, or like you were constantly trying to prove yourself to someone who claimed they loved you—this video is for you.
✨ Let’s talk about the difference between being loved and being liked—because both matter.
📖Get the book: “Toxic Ex Chronicles: Jon”
https://amzn.to/3I3fbac
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💜Website where you can find my books, coaching and more:
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💜MY SOCIALS:
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (146K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (37.2K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
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You think you’re in love with him… but what if it’s just a trauma bond?
In this video, I’m breaking down how love bombing and manipulation made me believe I needed a man who was never good for me. If you’re feeling stuck, confused, or emotionally addicted to someone who’s been giving mixed signals and false promises, this is for you.
Let’s talk about the difference between real love and toxic attachment — and how to finally break free.
✨ You don’t need him like you think you do.
✨ You’re not in love — you’re trauma bonded.
✨ Here’s how to take your power back & choose yourself.
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl
💜Website where you can find my books, coaching and more:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
💜MY SOCIALS:
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (146K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (37.2K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
Threads: (33.1K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Business Inquiries:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)
💜I Didn’t Do Anything Special to Get a Husband — Here’s What I Did Do
Society tells us we need to be perfect, chase love, or constantly “improve” ourselves to be worthy of a good relationship. But my story? It’s a little different.
In this video, I’m sharing how I attracted a healthy, loving relationship without playing games, pretending to be someone I’m not, or overextending myself. I didn’t follow a 10-step “get the ring” plan—but I did do the kind of inner work that changed everything.
✨ What you’ll hear in this video:
• Why I stopped chasing emotionally unavailable men
• The mindset shift that helped me attract a healthy partner
• How boundaries and self-worth led me to love
• Why “being enough” isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing what’s real
If you’ve ever wondered if love can come without the performance… this is for you.
💬 Let me know in the comments: What’s ONE thing you’ve unlearned about love?
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl
💜Website where you can find my books, coaching and more:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
💜MY SOCIALS:
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (146K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (39 K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
Threads: (33.1K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Business Inquiries:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)
Seeking Closure Within | Reclaim Your Power & Heal on Your Own
I’m diving deep into the powerful journey of seeking closure within. If you’re waiting on an apology, explanation, or final conversation that may never come—this is for you. I’ll be sharing practical steps on how to process your emotions on your own, release what’s been weighing you down, and finally move forward.
Closure doesn’t always come from someone else—it can come from you. And when it does, it can help you reclaim your power, rebuild your peace, and step fully into the next chapter of your life.
✨ Let’s connect:
💜1:1 coaching &
BONUS podcast episodes
https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl
💜Website where you can find my books, coaching and more:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
💜MY SOCIALS:
I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (146K followers)
https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/
TikTok: (37.2K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1
Threads: (33.1K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Business Inquiries:
https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net
(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)