Some people say one of the most important decisions you’ll make is the person you choose to marry. So how can you make sure you’re ready to tie the knot, and that they’re the partner for you? We chat to couples therapist Isiah McKimmie to find out the ‘must ask’ questions - you should be asking yourself and each other.  SHOW NOTES: Isiah McKimmie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isiahmckimmie.sexologist/?hl=en  Isiah McKimmie Details: https://isiah-mckimmie.com/  DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

It’s been a year of engagements and tying the knot for some of the biggest pop stars in the world, like Charli XCX, Lana Del Ray, Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift. And despite it being one of the oldest and most traditional ways to commit to a partner - research shows young people are more keen on getting wed than the generation before us. We hear how you feel about marriage, and whether it’s something you still wanna do.

Actor Zoe Terakes (Talk To Me, Nine Perfect Strangers, Marvel’s Ironheart) is reclaiming Ancient Greek mythology in their debut novel Eros: Queer Myths For Lovers. In this episode, Zoe chats with Dee about why so many of the iconic Greek myths - from Zeus and Aphrodite to Icarus and Hermaphroditus - are really stories of queer and trans life, lust, sex, and revenge. And why it’s so important to reclaim these tales that celebrate all types of love and bodies.  SHOW NOTES: Zoe Terakes Insta: https://www.instagram.com/zoeterakes/?hl=en  Eros: Queer Myths For Lovers: https://www.hachette.com.au/zoe-terakes/eros-queer-myths-for-lovers    DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner starts to feel less romantic, more platonic, or even like your flatmate? You might have experienced roommate syndrome. In this episode with special cohost Jordan Barr, we work out the telltale the signs of a roomie phase, unpack the reasons why it happens and debate whether we should be reframing our expectations of long term relationships. SHOW NOTES: How to get the spark back in your relationship:  https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/how-to-get-intimacy-back-in-your-relationship-emotional-spark/104535358  Has social media cooked our expectations of dating?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rilv_GuNQD4 Should your partner be your best friend? https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/should-your-partner-be-best-friend-soulmate-relationship/104132010 DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We chat to award winning radio journalist and author Stephanie Foo about her memoir What My Bones Know, exploring her diagnosis with C-PTSD – unpacking how and why it manifested for her, understanding intergenerational trauma, and how she’s learning to heal. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 13 Yarn: 13 92 76 Headspace: https://headspace.org.au/  Cherry Blossom Intergenerational Trauma Study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3923835/  DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Height is something you (mostly) can’t change, and yet it’s one of the most contentious dating preferences - we’re lying about it on the apps, rejecting lovers if they don’t measure up and even turning it into a full-blown personality trait. In this episode with special cohost Blake Pavey, we’re unpacking how height is affecting your love life, where this tall tale of height superiority is coming from and whether it’s as big a dealbreaker as society would like us to think.   DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Do you find sexting, nudes and filming with a partner hot - but don’t know how to initiate, manage consent, deal with body confidence and understand the risks? We get advice and practical tips from sex educator Georgia Grace on how to get intimate online in a safe and sexy way.  SHOW NOTES: Helplines: Lifeline - 13 11 14  1800 RESPECT More information on image-based abuse: https://www.esafety.gov.au/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

While you might not have reached chronic levels of being online, it’s fair to say we’re living through a screen more than ever before - so how are you doing sex and intimacy in the digital age? We find out how you feel about sexting, sending nudes and making content with your partners - and how you’re managing your digital footprint when image based abuse is on the rise. SHOW NOTES: Helplines: Lifeline - 13 11 14  1800 RESPECT More information on image-based abuse: https://www.esafety.gov.au/   DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If you’re over-analysing texts, constantly questioning if your partner loves you, dwelling on their past relationships while also worrying if they’re ‘the one’ for your future - then this episode is for you. We get some expert advice from sex and relationship therapist Lauren Bradley on how to deal with overthinking in dating and relationships, how to know if you're doing it a healthy or harmful amount and how to break the anxiety pattern if it’s ruining your love life.   DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Whether it’s casual dating or locked in long term relationships, 80% of you told us that you overthink everything. We find out what that looks like for you, from chronically overthinking every text, tone of voice, needing constant reassurance and spiralling about the future - and how this kind of anxiety is affecting your love life.    DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

What’s the difference between having a high sex drive, watching a lot of porn, and having an addiction to sex? That’s something we find out in this episode with sex therapist Heide McConkey who’s spent nearly 30 years working with people who have Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder.  SHOW NOTES: Sex Addiction Australia: https://www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au/ Sex Addiction Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/ Lifeline: 13 11 14   RELATED EPISODES: How Often Are You Having Sex?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ35yOTAfyo&t=491s How To Deal With Mismatched Libidos: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/mismatched-libidos-different-low-sex-drives-laura-lee-sexologist/105812842    DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Ever been called a ‘pick me’? It’s been a cultural buzzword for years to describe women who seek male validation by putting down other women - but have we taken the term too far? We find out what it actually means to be a ‘pick me’, why it’s a problematic label to hand out without critical thought, and explore whether the ‘performative male’ is the guy version that needs just as much scrutiny. SHOW NOTES:  Pick-me girl backlash exposes a bigger issue: https://www.who.com.au/lifestyle/sex-relationships/pick-me-girl/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Your pelvic floor muscles are connected to way more than you might think - like UTIs, constipation, painful sex, orgasms, even peeing when you laugh. In this episode, pelvic floor physio Chloe Peters helps us get to know this underrated group of muscles, answers all your juicy questions about vaginismus, endo, and bladder stuff, and shares super practical tips for looking after it. SHOW NOTES: Chloe Cox - pelvic floor physiotherapist @chloe_thepelvicphysio      DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

The idea of a soulmate might sound like a fairytale, but plenty of people still believe in finding that perfect match. In this episode we dive into your soulmate stories - from romantic to platonic - and ask the big questions: can you have more than one? Do soulmates happen by fate, or are they made over time?   DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Ex-AFL player and author Brandon Jack tackles the peer pressure guys feel to fit in and some of the problematic ways men perform masculinity in their friendships - in his new book Pissants. In this ep, he chats to Dee Salmin about the novel, the ‘male loneliness epidemic’ and how guys can create more vulnerable and meaningful relationships with each other. RELATED EPISODES: Is The ‘Male Loneliness Epidemic’ Real? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZI_bOTFHXE  SHOW NOTES: Pissants - https://www.simonandschuster.com.au/books/Pissants/Brandon-Jack/9781761633072  Micheal Kimmel research ‘Masculinity As Homophobia’: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-97379-006    DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

The conversation around men feeling lonely has become a lightning rod for social, political and cultural weigh-ins by everyone - but how do guys actually feel about their loneliness? We asked you to cut through the noise to give your honest experiences of loneliness and male friendship, and we investigate the research to find out if this can even be called an ‘epidemic’.  Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Lifeline: 13 11 14  SHOW NOTES: The State Of Loneliness 2023 data https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/press-release/half-a-million-more-people-are-lonely-all-or-most-of-the-time/   Social Isolation And Loneliness in Australia https://www.aihw.gov.au/mental-health/topic-areas/health-wellbeing/social-isolation-and-loneliness   ‘An uphill battle’: why are men struggling to make – and keep – friends? https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/ng-interactive/2025/jul/10/male-friendships-midlife#:~:text=According%20to%20data%20from%20the%20Survey%20Center,in%202021%2C%20compared%20with%203%25%20in%201990.   Male loneliness and isolation: What the data shows https://aibm.org/research/male-loneliness-and-isolation-what-the-data-shows/   The surprising truth about loneliness in America https://www.vox.com/even-better/366620/loneliness-epidemic-coping-demographics-america-social-connection-mental-health   Side talk: Half of men feel more comfortable having difficult conversations shoulder-to-shoulder https://www.greeneking.co.uk/newsroom/shoulder-to-shoulder?utm_source=chatgpt.com   Is Male Loneliness an Epidemic? A Gendered and Structural Reframing https://static1.squarespace.com/static/67e9bb2b8ad1d04967a0459c/t/68abcf2e684fb76f348bc0c0/1756090158503/Is+male+loneliness+an+epidemic.pdf   The men's loneliness epidemic might not exist https://www.npr.org/2025/02/17/1263527043/its-been-a-minute-male-loneliness-epidemic-real   Vulga Drawings instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFVr4eXopWw/?img_index=1   Females were more likely to have mental health conditions https://www.americashealthrankings.org/learn/reports/mental-and-behavioral-health-data-brief/key-findings-gender?utm_source=chatgpt.com   Theorizing Mankeeping: The Male Friendship Recession and Women’s Associated Labor as a Structural Component of Gender Inequality https://www.researchgate.net/publication/385006823_Theorizing_Mankeeping_The_Male_Friendship_Recession_and_Women's_Associated_Labor_as_a_Structural_Component_of_Gender_Inequality   Men value romantic relationships more and suffer greater consequences from breakups than women https://www.psypost.org/men-value-romantic-relationships-more-and-suffer-greater-consequences-from-breakups-than-women/?utm_source=chatgpt.com DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Have you got a different sex drive to your partner? When your libido is out of sync, you can feel guilt, shame and rejection, making you question if your relationship is compatible. We get advice from sexologist and psychologist Laura Lee on how to work through those feelings and how to find a balance.  SHOW NOTES: How Often Should You Have Sex? Vodcast DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Everyone’s got a number in mind but whether you’re hitting that goal is a different story. From hormones and medication to the mental load and mismatched libidos, we find out the factors that affect how much sex you’re having - and if there’s a magic number. SHOW NOTES: Don’t Blame Women For Low Libido, Sparks Fly When Partners Do Their Share Of Chores: https://theconversation.com/dont-blame-women-for-low-libido-sexual-sparks-fly-when-partners-do-their-share-of-chores-including-calling-the-plumber-185401 Is a Man's Sex Drive Really Much Stronger Than a Woman's? https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a64059036/unsupportive-partners-stress-sex-drive/ Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare? https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare Is a Man's Sex Drive Really Much Stronger Than a Woman's? https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/talking-apes/202212/do-men-really-have-stronger-sex-drives-than-women DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If you have irregular periods, excess body hair, acne, weight gain and are struggling to get pregnant, you might have polycystic ovarian syndrome. PCOS is a chronic hormonal condition that impacts around one in ten people with ovaries, but many people go undiagnosed and it’s the leading cause of infertility. In this episode, we find out signs to look for, and how you can treat it.   DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If you're dating as a queer woman, have you ever felt like there’s an assumption that you’ll always “end up back with a man”? It seems like it’s a unique challenge faced by bisexual women and lesbians - where their identity, sexuality, and where they belong in both hetero and homosexual communities is constantly questioned or invalidated. We hear your experiences of internalised biphobia/lesphobia, label policing and sexual fluidity - and how it’s affecting your love lives.   DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.