¡MI AMOR! Welcome to another episode of...how you say... ¡THE MEAN TIME! We are burning with the intense passion of an oven set to 500 degrees... ¡CELSIUS! Join us for an hour of love and desire while we unravel the mysteries of the heart and watch Chiara get absolutely wasted on video... ¡BIENVENIDOS!

First of all, a big thank you to Bearpunch for hosting us at their beautiful studio, they made us look incredible. Second of all, IT'S KOALA TIME because Chiara is here as a full-fledged-honest-to-goodness-bonafide-chair-sitting-camera-focused-dialogue-having guest. And she has A LOT to say.

Jared gets so passionate that his microphone can't even handle the sheer charisma and malfunctions so hard that the whole entire episode sounds crispy crunchy! Happy Halloween, thanks to all of the Patrons who submitted their problems for the advice column, and welcome to the world, Kyler Brantleigh!

A very special and interesting and fun episode is coming at you and you think it is very fun and special and interesting. In fact, it may be your favorite episode of this show to date. You will continue to watch this show until instructed otherwise. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

You had it too good for too long, dirtbags. The boys are turning heel and not even MarcTheFrog and his egg collection can save you. Now let's see if we can manage to keep Pat around for another 351 episodes.

WE'RE GOING TO BANGKOK (Sorry Brazil) Welcome to our new temporary podcast space! It's a small box made of glass and felt and there's a guy that walks around looking at us and it's on a busy and trashy Hollywood street and it's actually causing me a lot of stress just to type this out, see you in Thailand.

This one right here goes out to all the baby's mamas' mamas, mamas, mamas, baby mamas' mamas, and the rest of the women all over the world.

Jared is TICKED OFF and Pat doesn't know why. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Mooseman? Regardless, if you go to Jimmy John's, don't shame yourself by getting a pizza sandwich, you're better than that. Instead, help yourself to a fresh bowl of CT Crunch.

The Mean Time is not responsible for any botched Portuguese because everyone tried real hard and we love Brazil.

Jared pays his and Pat's rent with more loud obnoxious singing bits in maybe the first fully music-focused episode of a show that was supposed to be about music.

Aaron Gillespie of Underoath kicks it with the boys and talks smack about a few very high profile music industry professionals. However, we decided to cut all of that out to focus on even juicier content...stories about his vasectomy.

A COUPLE OF FRESH AND FINE LOOKIN BOYS HAVE ABDUCTED AND REPLACED OUR HOSTS AND SENT THEM TO THE CHROMITE MINES WHERE THEY WILL LIVE OUT THE REST OF THEIR DAYS IN TORMENT AND EXHAUSTION FOR THEIR VARIOUS CRIMES. New guys look good though.

We took 160,000 rowdy college girls from Miami Beach and through a combined air, land, and sea assault, facilitated the largest amphibious invasion in the history of warfare and put it all on a 3-DVD set that can be yours for only 19.95!

The boys are on one wild ride! Crusty Rhodes makes his in-ring debut against Crick Flair, Olive Garden is serving bottomless AI pasta, and Valjean spills Jared's darkest secrets to Patrick. Enjoy the slop, piggies!

You've heard of The Mean Time. You've even heard of The Jean Time. But this summer... nothing can prepare you for... THE GREEN TIME. Will the madness ever end? When will we wake up from this nightmare? Why did Jared even buy those pants? What occasion calls for pants that green? Tune in and find out!

We don’t jean to offend anyone with this episode of The Jean Time. We tried to keep this one nice and jean for you guys. Never in our wildest jeans did we ever think we’d get to talk about what we talked about in this one. You can buy all the clothes you see in this episode on Jean.

Rest in peace to the Oz-Man who was the lead singer of Metallica and who’s biggest song is Bohemian Rhapsody and I apologize for Pat’s lack of knowledge about literally everything in the entirety of the scope of the comprehendible world.

We shot an episode outside because we’re so ambitious. The audio sounds like ass because we wanted to reach for the stars. One camera on the video this week because we wanted to be fun and interesting. Like 7 planes interrupt the flow of conversation because we wanted to do this one outside. Enjoy.

Pat sniffs out an early screening of Superman and meets the cast at a Hollywood red carpet event while Jared weighs himself down on the Go Kart track by eating a whole mess of Tater Tots. Milking NickelJack? Milking MichaelBack?

JAYCE ON THE PODCAST! We’re talking Animorphs, Star Wars, and wait… What’s that at the end of the episode…?