Trauma is not pathology.
It is biology.
In this episode, I map early loss, neglect, and survival strategies onto the neuroscience of trauma, attachment, addiction, and integration.
(00:00) Trauma as Biology, Not Pathology
(02:53) The Architecture of Survival
(03:34) Early Loss, Co-Regulation, and Turning Inward
(07:00) Betrayal Trauma and the Day/Night Child
(10:30) Addiction as Regulation (Pornography as a Survival Strategy)
(14:10) Post-Traumatic Growth and the Survival Facade
(20:30) Gratitude vs. Toxic Positivity
(23:24) The Green Square / Red Circle
(26:32) Kintsugi: Healing Without Erasing the Past
(27:31) Outro + Related Episodes
Rather than framing trauma responses as dysfunction or personal failure, this episode treats them as intelligent adaptations wired into the nervous system in response to overwhelming threat.
We explore:
Early attachment, loss, and the role of co-regulation
Betrayal trauma and dissociation
Addiction as a logical form of nervous-system regulation
Post-traumatic growth and the survival facade
Integration as the movement from fragmentation to coherence
Gratitude beyond toxic positivity
The “Green Square / Red Circle” framework for holding harm and growth simultaneously
This is a personal episode, grounded in neuroscience, developmental psychology, and trauma research.
Healing here is not about erasing the past or reframing harm.
It is about integrating what happened into a coherent, embodied life.
Related Episodes
Breaking Habits: The Real Deal on Addiction and Recovery
https://tms.show/13
How Nihilism, Absurdism, and Existentialism Made Me Happier
https://tms.show/14
The Gift of Rock Bottom | Kierkegaard, Nihilism & Radical Acceptance
https://tms.show/20
Sources referenced
Copley, L. (2025). Using Gratitude & Happiness in Trauma-Informed Therapy. PositivePsychology.com
D’Amore Mental Health. Toxic Positivity vs. Genuine Gratitude
Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Harvard University Press
Janoff-Bulman, R. (2006). Schema-Change Perspectives on Posttraumatic Growth. In Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth
Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2006). The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog. Basic Books
Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2006). The Foundations of Posttraumatic Growth. In Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth
Tronick, E. (2007). The Neurobehavioral and Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Children. W. W. Norton & Company
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Viking