In this episode of The Meaningful Shit Show, Vincent unpacks the stories we inherit about masculinity — and the quiet damage they cause. From the “man box” that teaches boys to numb their hearts, to the p*rn scripts that confuse conquest with connection, to the loneliness men rarely admit out loud.Through honesty, psychology, and DBT tools, we’ll explore: • How culture wires disconnection into male identity • The link between p*rn, ego, and emotional avoidance • Why Red Pill ideology sells fear, not strength • How to trade performance for presence — in work, s*x, and loveThis isn’t about shaming men. It’s about undefining masculinity — loosening the armor, and walking a path where connection replaces control.💭 Reflection prompt:What story did you inherit about being a man — and what story are you actually living?🧠 Distilled truths: • The man box sells safety, but it costs your soul. • Performance without presence is hollow. • What we call strength is often just untreated pain.⸻🎧 Listen everywhere: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube📸 Follow @TheMeaningfulShitShow#Masculinity #ToxicMasculinity #MenHealing #DBT #Mindfulness #TheMeaningfulShitShow⸻
🧠 “I said the right thing — so why did it still go wrong?”
Sometimes you do everything “right.” You’re clear. You’re calm. You use the skill.
And the conversation still goes off the rails.
This episode dives into two core DBT tools — DEAR MAN and GIVE — and dissects what they really look like in real relationships. Not just in theory, but through raw, personal stories and scene-by-scene analysis of emotional breakdowns in film.
We go deep into:
The devastating café scene from Beautiful Boy — and how it shows a DEAR MAN collapse
GIVE failures in The Break-Up — where both characters lose the connection, the objective, and their self-respect
Real-life examples from a running group confrontation and a co-working space standoff
Why even “perfect” communication can backfire if it’s ungrounded, mistimed, or driven by fear
This isn’t about technique. It’s about survival, honesty, and learning how to walk out of a conversation without abandoning yourself.
🎧 Bring your overthinking brain and a pen. And maybe tissues. This one hits close to home.
Sink first, then rise.
In this solo episode, I unpack a haunting metaphor about drowning and survival, and connect it to how we experience emotional rock bottom.
With insight from Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and DBT, we explore how sometimes — the fall is the path.
This isn’t about glorifying suffering. It’s about recognizing that when everything falls away, we get to decide what truly matters.
⚠️ Includes a note on addiction and the myth of ‘needing’ rock bottom to change.
🤯 Mindfulness isn’t what you think! No woo-woo, no endless meditations—just real, practical tools to help you focus, reduce stress, and take control of your mind.
In this episode, we break down:
✅ The “What” Skills – What you actually do to be mindful 👀
✅ The “How” Skills – The mindset that makes it work ⚡
✅ Wise Mind vs. Emotional Mind – Finding that perfect balance ⚖️
✅ The Deep Stuff – Why mindfulness really matters 🌌
🎙️ Whether you love mindfulness or think it’s overhyped, this episode will change the way you see it.
💬 Comment below: What’s one moment today where you were fully present?
🔔 Subscribe for more deep, no-BS conversations!
#Mindfulness #DBT #SelfImprovement #Awareness #MentalHealth
🔥 Pain is inevitable—but suffering is optional. In this episode, I break down the key difference between pain and suffering and why choosing your pain intentionally leads to a stronger, more fulfilling life. 💪💡 💭 Inspired by: ⚔️ Stoic wisdom – "The pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it." 🧘 Buddhism's Four Noble Truths – Suffering comes from craving, but we can rise above it. 🧠 Polyvagal Theory – How our nervous system navigates stress and rest. We all face choices: 🔥 The pain of discipline vs. the pain of regret 😞 ⚡ The pain of stepping out of your comfort zone vs. the pain of stagnation 🏋️♂️ 💬 The pain of setting boundaries vs. the pain of resentment 🚪 🎭 The pain of being honest vs. the pain of living a lie 🤐 Rather than avoiding pain or numbing it with distractions 🍕🍷📺, embrace it, plan for it, and build a life where the pain you choose serves your growth. Because if you don’t choose your pain, pain will choose you. ⚡ CHOOSE YOUR PAIN. PLAN FOR IT. BUILD IT INTO YOUR ROUTINE. ⚡ 👇 What’s a pain you’re choosing today? Drop it in the comments! 🔔 Subscribe for more deep dives into personal growth, psychology, and mindset! 🚀
🌟 In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of "loving the process" and why it's essential for personal growth and fulfillment. 🔑 Drawing inspiration from Maslow's pyramid of needs, we explore the journey from survival to self-actualization 🧗♂️, emphasizing how embracing the process—not just the outcome—leads to long-term satisfaction. 💪✨
💡 What You'll Learn:
🔥 Whether you're chasing fitness goals, exploring creative passions 🎨, or working on personal development, this episode is packed with practical advice to help you stay motivated and find purpose in the process. 🚀
🎧 Tune in now and transform your journey!
💬 Don’t forget to like 👍, subscribe 🔔, and share 📤 if this episode inspires you! 💖
#SelfActualization #Motivation #LovingTheProcess
Authenticity is about being true to yourself and others, embracing your feelings without judgment or suppression. In acting, the Meisner Technique exemplifies this through exercises like repetition and emotional preparation, which focus on staying present and honest in the moment. These practices challenge actors to engage deeply with their emotions and scene partners, fostering connection and authenticity.
In life, authenticity starts with self-awareness. It means acknowledging your feelings and how you feel about them (meta-feelings), staying present without forcing or avoiding emotions, and aligning your actions with your values. This self-honesty is essential for personal sovereignty—being true to yourself regardless of others’ opinions.
Interpersonally, authenticity involves setting boundaries and communicating honestly while maintaining relationships and respecting others. Tools like the STOP method (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) and Viktor Frankl’s idea of the pause between stimulus and response help navigate these moments mindfully.
Ultimately, authenticity is both liberating and uncomfortable. It requires vulnerability, self-reflection, and a willingness to be seen as you truly are. Whether in acting or life, the practice of authenticity leads to deeper connections, personal growth, and a more meaningful engagement with the world.
🎬 Boundaries: The Key to Self-Respect | YouTube Summary
🛑 What are boundaries? – Acts of self-love, not control! They protect our well-being & relationships.
⚡ Why they matter:
✅ Define core values
✅ Prevent burnout & resentment
✅ Strengthen connections
🔥 How to set & hold them:
• Be clear & firm 💬
• Enforce consequences 🚧
• Boundaries aren’t convenient—they’re necessary 🏗️
• Show them through actions, not just words 👏
📌 Real-life examples:
💡 Saying no to negativity
💔 Navigating dating & substances
💰 Protecting financial health
❤️ Setting sexual boundaries
✨ Final message: Love yourself. Set boundaries. Live authentically. 🚀
In this episode, Vincent dives into some history and details about the nihilist, absurdist and existentialist points of view and talks through personal anecdotes how these philosophies unlocked more happiness for him.
In this episode, Vincent delves into the intricate relationship between distress tolerance, addiction, and the practical applications of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) techniques. Anchoring the conversation in personal anecdotes and a deep dive into the mechanisms of addiction – from its psychological underpinnings to the societal implications – Vincent offers a comprehensive exploration of how addiction operates as both a disease and a behavioral pattern. Through the lens of DBT, he unpacks various strategies, such as dialectical abstinence, community reinforcement, and the concept of 'urge surfing', blending theory with relatable examples. The episode stands out for its candidness, as Vincent shares his own journey and battles with addiction, underscoring the importance of community, self-awareness, and alternative paths to rebellion as tools for recovery. Vincent wraps up with a reflection on the broader societal norms and the personal steps one can take towards a life of meaningful engagement beyond addiction.
I talk about the why we would accept, believe in and love ourself. I talk about why that why is important, using the following framework:
and of course, how to actually do it:
Thanks for tuning in!
In a world full of selfishness, blaming and scapegoating, I aim to inspire inner work with deep topics and insights on emotion regulation, personal development, psychology (DBT), philosophy and the trauma growth/healing process.
I aim to share my own perspective, which I think is valuable because I have personally benefited from a podcast giving me the exact right message I needed at the time. I remember how influential that was, what an enormous growth that unlocked. I hope to be this for someone.
After all, sometimes you don't need the wise guru's perspective, they are too advanced and not relatable, or not in a practical sense. You don't need your friend's perspective, she is not advanced enough, too relatable. Or these people may not have the specific trauma wound you have, such as family death early in life or childhood neglect, which are wounds for me.
For some of you, my perspective and teaching is exactly what you need. Listening to my content is only step one, it's up to you to explore and embody some of the theory I talk about. All I can do is open you up and interest you.
Although I've spent hundreds and thousands of hours reading self-help books, going therapy (group and individual), listening to seminars, going to retreats, contemplating on my own, meditating, doing yoga, working out, improving myself, journaling, failing over and over again, my journey is far from over, and I'm a practitioner, not a seasoned master.
The title you ask? It's a pun. Life is meaningful, but is hard and has ups and downs and it's messy. One could say.. it's a shit show. But it's... THE meaningful shit show, the only we get to star in. So yeah, the show title refers to life. It's also a show about meaningful shit. I thought it was clever..
So if you are excited to learn about some of these topics, from the perspective of me, Vincent, a European living in the United States, walking him own path and burning through his own karma? I invite you to dive in!
The long, ranty version of episode 9
We discussed Emotion Regulation skills, specifically Checking the Facts, Opposite Action and Problem Solving.
Let's add another important skill to our toolbox: Effectiveness.In this episode, you will see hear me argue that that most Emotional Urges have selfish objectives that are not important in the grand scheme of things and other aspects, such as connections (relationships) and self respect (life purpose) are often more important (but not always!).
Use DBT's Effectiveness to align your actions with your highest self!
DISCLAIMER The contents of this podcast are educational. I am not formally licensed in any way. If you are currently experiencing distress or crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional for support.Last episode, we learned how not make things worse when encountering a crisis.
After doing that, we've now contained the crisis, which is a great start! Today we will talk about the second and last part of the Distress Tolerance module from DBT: Reality Acceptance! How does radically accepting reality help us to actually address our problems?
References:
DBT Skills Training: Manual, Marsha M. Linehan
DISCLAIMER The contents of this podcast are educational. I am not formally licensed in any way. If you are currently experiencing distress or crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional for support.
Do you often fly off the handle and unintentionally hurt people around you, emotionally or physically? Or do you sink in a swamp of sorrows and out of overwhelm and depression let damage accrue by not acting? Do you avoid severe problems by procrastination and indecision? Or does this apply to anyone you know? Then I've got great news for you. It sounds like you need a higher tolerance for crisis and distress. A tolerance doesn't mean we're problem solving anything quite yet - we're just learning how to tolerate being in a distressed state with a neatly organized, sharpened set of tools we know how to use well. Today we will talk about the first part of the Distress Tolerance module from DBT: Crisis Survival. References: DBT Skills Training: Manual, Marsha M. Linehan
Today, we'll explore the four molecules associated with happiness. We'll see what that model can teach us, and we'll land on seven practices for maintaining a balance that allows happiness to arise. We also discuss ways of corralling your reward center to do your bidding, instead of the other way around.
References
Dopamine
Endorphins
Serotonin
Oxytocin
Today, we talk about the less immediate skills that are required to not get lost in emotion mind.
Where last time, we talked about the proverbial fire extinguisher which allows us to douse the flames of emotional reactivity, today we talk about how we can cultivate skills in life that prevent fires from breaking out in the first place.
Realize: both are needed. Today, we take care of the latter: building resilience.
We'll talk about:
References:
Do you, or does someone you know, struggle with emotion regulation?
If so, this episode may be very advantageous to you, so you can learn how you handle difficult emotions in a skillful, deliberate way!
References: