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The Sex After Kids Podcast
Sofia Ashley
63 episodes
5 days ago
Send us a text Have you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened? In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides. This episode is for you if: One partner shuts down, goes numb, or gets emotional during sexThe other feels rejected or unsure how to helpSex gets rushed just to get through itA bod...
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Sexuality
Health & Fitness
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All content for The Sex After Kids Podcast is the property of Sofia Ashley and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Send us a text Have you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened? In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides. This episode is for you if: One partner shuts down, goes numb, or gets emotional during sexThe other feels rejected or unsure how to helpSex gets rushed just to get through itA bod...
Show more...
Sexuality
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/63)
The Sex After Kids Podcast
When Sex Brings Up Shutdown, Tears, or Rushing, What's Actually Happening
Send us a text Have you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened? In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides. This episode is for you if: One partner shuts down, goes numb, or gets emotional during sexThe other feels rejected or unsure how to helpSex gets rushed just to get through itA bod...
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5 days ago
28 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Why You Feel Unchosen, Unsexy, and Alone (Even in a Good Relationship)
Send us a text Why do you feel unchosen, unsexy, and alone, even when your relationship looks "fine"? If you're the one always initiating hard conversations, tracking emotional distance, or trying to "fix" disconnection... you may be managing the emotional labor of the relationship by yourself. And over time, that role quietly erodes safety, intimacy, and desire, not because love disappears, but because the mutuality does. In this final episode of our 4-part Mental Load series, we explore: Wh...
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1 week ago
32 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Fair Play, Real Life: How We Manage the Mental Load as a Couple
Send us a text How do you actually share the mental load without constant fighting, resentment, or feeling like you’re doing it all? This is part 3 of a 4-part series on the mental load — and today, we're getting practical. I'm sharing how my partner and I used the Fair Play Method by Eve Rodsky to manage the mental load in our house — what worked, what didn't, and how we adapted it for real life with kids, neurodivergence, and wildly different nervous systems. We talk about: Why Fair Play is...
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2 weeks ago
34 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
How to Talk About the Mental Load Without Starting a Fight
Send us a text If talking about the mental load already feels like walking into a fight, this episode is for you. Because most mental load conversations don’t fail due to bad intentions — they fail because couples are stuck in an unspoken manager–assistant dynamic that kills safety, teamwork, and desire. In this episode, we unpack: Why the mental load isn't just about chores, but responsibility for the life you chose A simple checklist for each of you to assess your role in this dance and wh...
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3 weeks ago
40 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Mental Load 101: Why You're Fighting More... and Having Sex Less
Send us a text If the two of you feel like you're living in the same house but carrying completely different worlds, this episode will hit home. Welcome to Mental Load 101. This is the first in a four episode series that explains why resentment is high, intimacy is low, and why you keep having the same fights no matter how many systems or chore charts you try. In today's episode: • What the mental load really is and why it is invisible but exhausting • How gender scripts sneak back in after k...
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1 month ago
22 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Why Porn Feels Easier Than Intimacy (And What It's Really Costing You)
Send us a text Porn often feels like the easier option — no pressure, no rejection, no emotional work. But when it becomes your go-to outlet, it can quietly chip away at intimacy, connection, and confidence... without you even noticing. This episode isn't about shame. It's about clarity. We're unpacking the real impact of porn in relationships — especially if you're a dad, a man, or the higher-desire partner in your relationship. We're diving into: Why so many men learned sex through pornHow ...
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1 month ago
29 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
"Not Tonight" Isn't the Problem — Your Reaction Is.
Send us a text If you're the higher-libido partner and every "not tonight" feels like a gut-punch, this episode might change everything. Because it's not the rejection that turns her off — it's how you respond afterward. Most men were never taught what to do when sex disappears after babies, stress, or burnout. When connection feels out of reach, every "no" can trigger shame, pressure, or shutdown. But your reaction in that moment? It's either creating safety... or silently killing desire. In...
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1 month ago
23 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
What You’re Really Asking for When You Ask for Sex on Repeat
Send us a text You keep initiating. She keeps pulling away. If you're a dad (or higher-libido partner) hearing "stop pressuring me," this is for you. You're not broken, creepy, or needy — you're reaching for connection with the only tool you've got. Let's show you a better one. Try my Roommates to Romance Challenge to create connection, rebuild trust, and bring the flirt back (for less than a latte). -- https://intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance Have takeaways? Comment below or DM ...
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1 month ago
18 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Fatherhood and Sex Questioning the Status Quo with Dan Doty
Send us a text Why do dads seem to shut down after kids, or push for sex that doesn't feel connected? Dan Doty has spent 20 years working with men and boys in deeply intimate spaces. In this episode, he shares why sex often feels like survival for dads, and why so many men feel emotionally orphaned after becoming parents. If your partner seems checked out or constantly initiating (and you're stuck in resentment, shutdown, or confusion)... this episode is a must. We unpack the unspoken e...
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2 months ago
44 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Your Partner's in Perimenopause? Why Your Flirting Isn't Working
Send us a text If you’re tired of hearing "not tonight," this episode is for you. For the partner who is asking for sex all the time, facing constant rejection feels personal. It chips away at your confidence and makes you want to stop trying altogether. But what if the "no" isn't about you at all? This episode is the final installment of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and it's a masterclass in initiation. We explore why your old moves might be backfiring and how to approach your partne...
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2 months ago
21 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Hormones, Mood Swings, and Midlife WTFs: An Interview with Brooke from Marriage in Perimenopause
Send us a text If you've ever found yourself wondering, "Who even am I right now?" - you're not alone. This episode is a must-listen for couples navigating midlife, marriage, and the hormonal rollercoaster known as perimenopause (and andropause — yes, it's a thing). My guest Brooke Davis gets real about how these changes can wreck emotional regulation and connection if we’re not prepared. We talk about: The invisible link between hormones and relationship breakdowns How decent marriages fall...
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2 months ago
34 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Perimenopause & Libido: A guide for you and your partner
Send us a text If your partner's libido seems MIA since perimenopause showed up or if you are wondering where your own went, this episode is for you. We're unpacking what's really going on with libido changes in this season, and how to stop treating each other like broken sex robots. This is part 2 of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and today's convo includes the science of libido, nervous system safety, responsive vs spontaneous desire, and why your body (or your partner's) might just n...
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2 months ago
20 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Perimenopause is Wrecking Our Sex Life, What Now?
Send us a text If you're feeling like roommates instead of lovers, perimenopause might be playing a bigger role than you think. Whether you're the higher libido partner waiting for things to "go back to normal," or the one navigating body changes, stress, and zero desire... you're not alone. This episode kicks off our Perimenopause + Intimacy series — and it's packed with practical insights to help you stop spinning in "maybe someday" mode. 🎉 Also, it's our 50th episode! If this podcast...
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3 months ago
20 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Stressed Out and Touched Out? The Nervous System Secrets to Wanting Sex Again
Send us a text Today we are going deeper into how your stress impacts your relationship, and your intimacy, and what to do about it. We have a special guest interview this week on the podcast with Naturopath Heather Drummond whose speciality is the nervous system. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction & Guest Welcome 3:59 - Heather's Background & Nervous System Work 6:43 - Nervous System Responses in Relationships 9:11 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Explained 15:52 - Codependency,...
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3 months ago
53 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Sex or Stress? How to Tell When It’s Really a “No” and When It’s Not
Send us a text Do you mistake stress or tiredness for a hard no when it comes to intimacy? You’re not alone! In this episode, I unpack the “traffic lights” of the nervous system and how to stop defaulting to NO—so you can discover more ways to say yes (or a real, empowered maybe) to connection after kids. Timestamps & What You’ll Learn: 00:14 – Introduction to Sex After Kids Podcast 00:59 – Understanding Your Nervous System's Traffic Light System 01:24 – Breaking Down the Traffic Light C...
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3 months ago
14 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Ready for More Fun, Play, and Connection? An Invitation to The Naked Fun Comeback™
Send us a text Ready to get out of the initiate-and-avoid rut and back to playful, flirty, connected sex - without the pressure? In this special episode, I share why I created The Naked Fun Comeback™, what makes it different from all the "just try harder" advice, and how you can join this summer's case study group. Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome & why this is a direct invitation episode 02:05 – Why I created The Naked Fun Comeback™ (books and apps don't cut it, and fixing your libido isn't ...
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3 months ago
25 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
A Sensorium Date Night
Send us a text Save this one for Saturday night. Follow along during this guided date and see where the evening takes you. In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast I share a guided date night experience from the Sex After Kids Summit Vault. Follow along as I show you through one of my favourite activities to get you out of busy parent mode and into landed lover mode. These guided date night experiences are a signature part of my Naked Fun Comeback Program where I help lead parents back i...
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3 months ago
32 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Sex Coach vs. Couples Counselling: Which Is Right for You?
Send us a text Wondering if you need a sex coach, a couples counsellor, or both? I discuss my honest take on how each one can help, what most couples are really feeling (and why), and why it’s not about “fixing” you or your partner—but learning new skills together. Timestamps & What You’ll Learn: 01:14 – Sex Coach vs Couples Counsellor 03:09 – Common Relationship Struggles 05:03 – Why Most People Need Professional Help 08:23 – Differences Between Sex Coaches and Couples Counselors 11:45 ...
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4 months ago
18 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Sexless Marriage: How to Save Your Relationship Before Divorce
Send us a text Let’s just put it out there: If you’re in a sexless marriage, you’ve probably had at least one “Would this just be easier if we split up?” moment. Maybe you’ve even daydreamed about a solo life—until you remember that modern dating sounds absolutely exhausting. (No, thank you!) If you’re even flirting with the D-word—even in your head—this episode is for you. Because keeping those worries secret just makes things worse, and you are NOT alone. Join Sofia as she busts myths, call...
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4 months ago
15 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
The Truth About Postpartum Sex: Navigating Intimacy When Your Body Feels Different (Whether It’s Months or Years Later)
Send us a text Whether you’re fresh into postpartum or it’s been years since your last baby and your body still feels unfamiliar, you’re not alone. In this episode, I get radically real about intimacy, body image, and feeling sexy in the body you have—right now. What You’ll Learn: 01:08 — Intimacy & Body Image After Kids 01:32 — The Reality of Postpartum Bodies 02:48 — Pressure, Partners, and Self-Criticism 03:52 — Waiting to Feel Sexy & The Cost 04:20 — Spectatoring & Body Neutra...
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4 months ago
17 minutes

The Sex After Kids Podcast
Send us a text Have you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened? In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides. This episode is for you if: One partner shuts down, goes numb, or gets emotional during sexThe other feels rejected or unsure how to helpSex gets rushed just to get through itA bod...