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The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Gary McFarlane
159 episodes
4 days ago
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture. An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum: "...Honoring his Ko...
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Self-Improvement
Education,
How To,
Health & Fitness,
Sexuality
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All content for The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast is the property of Gary McFarlane and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture. An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum: "...Honoring his Ko...
Show more...
Self-Improvement
Education,
How To,
Health & Fitness,
Sexuality
Episodes (20/159)
The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addict - Asian "Shame" is different to European "Shame"
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture. An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum: "...Honoring his Ko...
Show more...
4 days ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex addicts have low self esteem & self worth
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest or them all”? How do you answer that question for you? Learn to love self, before you can love others. I use that thing called EMDR to work on the distorted image of self. What is this thing called EMDR? It is Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing. What ...
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1 week ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex addiction beckons for some men who can't fit the version of 'Man-liness'
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. There is a difference between men and women and how they raise boy children - isn't there! Am I allowed to even pose that question? What does emasculation of men mean? A browser search result says about Emasculation: 'It refers to the perceived loss of traditional masculine attributes, such as strength and powe...
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2 weeks ago
10 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addict - has society straight jacketed you - so you turn to self-soothing
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. What’s a “Russian Doll” (or is it called a Babushka) got to do with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction? I thought you would never ask! “I haven’t bought into that nonsense “Big boys don’t cry”, when I was growing up”. At least, I don’t think so”! That guy called John Bowlby in the 1940’s dared to put together some suppo...
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3 weeks ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addict - stand up the real authentic you!
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. Russian dolls very well illustrates the brain's attempts to protect and guard us from repeat pain from situations experienced in the childhood development years. The real us, may have got stunted, where the brain built layers and layers around the inner child from the time of early developmental traumas and unc...
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1 month ago
7 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addicts - Big up the women
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. We need you ladies. Don't give up on us yet! So much more practical in finding solutions. Teach us please ladies. We need you. I am convinced that women have been endowed with an extra perceptive sense which us men do not have. You see danger in innocuous situations that us men just glaze our eyes over, u...
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1 month ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addicts - What does it mean to be a man?: Conversations (2)
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. Impediments to having great relationships: Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be entirely and comprehensively supplemented by a mother. It is not “do as ...
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1 month ago
10 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addicts - What does it mean to be a man?: Conversations (1)
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. What is Man-ness? There is still a caveman instinct inside of us as men. Has the image got distorted as men try to metamorphize ourselves to fit what society tells us a man should be. Trying to fit what we are really not, is hard work. At some point there may be an increased desire to self-soothe and escape in...
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1 month ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addiction does not make me a Narcissist!
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "Narcissism because of Sex Addiction - Yuk! That's not me". Many clients initially (but silently and violently) object to any suggestion that there is Narcissism at work. I am never suggesting they have NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder), but that they WILL have traits from Narcissism. Here is one definition of Narcissism which I use: "Narcissism is the way we conceptualise how we will look afte...
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2 months ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addiction before you even gave permission!
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Developmental history from childhood The phase of childhood from birth to age 6 is a critical time of sensitivity, during which time, templates are created which shape future interpersonal interactions. During this sensitive period of development, a child acquires a variety of new abilities and skills that are a necessary part of child development. There are five sensitive period categories, which includ...
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2 months ago
7 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Childhood stuff of Sex Addiction
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Sex Addiction is different to Porn Addiction. Sex & Porn Addiction are different to Love Addiction. They all get set up in 3 ways: 1. Opportunity: Material accessed too early in childhood development 2. Trauma: Just as it says on the label of the can! But make trauma age-related and its impact on the immature developing brain, not what is going on in wars between Russia & Ukraine, Israel & Ha...
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2 months ago
10 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Children and Sex Addiction - Surely not! (Part 3)
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The report found that 58% of respondents had seen violent pornography, including strangulation and rape scenes, before age 18, with girls more likely than boys to witness such content. Children are exposed to increasingly extreme online pornography, with concerns that new restrictions may be easily circumvented through VPNs. Worry was expressed, that even with new rules, users could bypass restrictions, ...
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2 months ago
12 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Children and Sex Addiction - Surely not! (Part 2)
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "It was aged....and I came across my [parents] stash of porn. I kept going back to view when they were out and took a few to my my room. They never knew". That is the very typical answer that I have been given by a large percentage of my adult clients when taking them through my History Taking Questionnaire. I ask them 188 questions over three 50 minutes sessions and their answers help me and them to bui...
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2 months ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Children and Sex Addiction - Surely not! (Part 1)
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Newspaper headline: "Joe is 10 years old and he is on The Sex offenders register and he has not yet kissed a girl". How can that be? Is that really true? Surely not! Ok my goodness! Even though that is not in the content of her Report, here is what the Children's Commissioner - Dame Rachel de Souza - says in the foreword of her Report, dated 19 August 2025: "Shockingly, as this report highlights, pornogr...
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3 months ago
8 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addict and effective Communication - do you know these truths?
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Put these tools into your armoury of resources to help you communicate more effectively: John Grays 'Men are from mars and women are from Venus' is still worth a read. Also (although a somewhat provocative title) 'Men don't listen and women can't read maps' - is worth reading. Both books remind us that there is a difference between how masculinity and femininity communicate. There is a big difference bet...
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3 months ago
11 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addict - The Body tells the truth, more than the trained Brain
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Sex addict, your body demeanour is going to give you away. Know the facts about the body and how you main have trained it to 'tell on you'! When we first meet someone we form a very strong impression of them within the first 40 seconds. We form a lasting opinion of them within the first 4 minutes. Our opinion will influence the way in which we respond and behave towards that person until something happen...
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3 months ago
9 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Compromised brain communication filtering in Sex Addicts
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre When we are communicating, the information is passing through the filters of the different structures of the brain. Sex Addiction does damage the brain and so, damages the filters. We all have filters. The message being transmitted is going through the receiver, but the receiver has filters and that means the message can come out the other end looking very different to what went in and was received. A da...
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3 months ago
8 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Not about the nail in my head - men in the dog house!
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN!" — Santosh Kalwar As we continue to Repair broken communication in the couple because of Sex/Porn/Love Addiction trauma damage - recognise there is a big difference between Listening and Hearing. Sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Often we need a little help to see h...
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4 months ago
8 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Sex Addict - 'Communication' is like a tandem bicycle wheel
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Remember our foundational question: 'Do you enter a conversation to be understood or to understand?' Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast and it is taking more effort to cover the distance. Now let’s ...
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4 months ago
8 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Effective Communication with you is broken - Sex Addict
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David Augsburger Listening effectively is a very valuable gift to someone. It is costly. It values the other person. It is learned and must be practiced. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Listening means that the information stops in the brain and is processed and digested. ...
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4 months ago
10 minutes

The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023. Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture. An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum: "...Honoring his Ko...