The war is internal, not technical.
Lessons From a Terrible Photographer is a book for creatives who feel stuck, burned out, or disconnected from their work, even though they know what they’re doing.
It’s not about gear or technique. It’s about the internal stuff no one talks about, and focusing on why we make work, not just how.
Preorders help determine the first print run. Copies ship once printing begins.
Preorder here:
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
You've mastered the craft. You've built the business. You're successful. But you're still lonely. You're Joshua Bell in the subway—playing a Stradivarius while everyone walks past. You've taken off the costume, rejected the hierarchy, and you're still isolated.
So now what?
In the finale of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores sociologist Ray Oldenburg's concept of "The Third Space"—the pubs, coffee shops, and barbershops where community used to happen naturally. He examines why these spaces disappeared, how COVID delivered the final blow, and why digital spaces (Reddit, Discord) might be Third Space for some people while remaining incomplete for others.
This episode is both diagnosis and prescription: why we're lonely, why it's gotten worse, and the uncomfortable truth that you can't find community—you have to build it. One vulnerable conversation at a time.
IN THIS EPISODE:
THE CHALLENGE: Reach out to ONE person this week. Not to network, not to collaborate. Just: "I've been thinking about creative loneliness lately. Want to grab coffee?" Then show up without your costume and talk about what you're actually struggling with.
KEY QUOTES: "Third Space doesn't exist until someone creates it. And it doesn't start with a community. It starts with one person."
"Digital-only Third Space is incomplete. You need to look someone in the eye. You need to sit across a table from another human. You need to exist in a room where you can't edit yourself before you speak."
"You can't outsource belonging. You can't scroll your way to community. You can't consume your way to connection."
"COVID didn't pause Third Space culture. It killed it. And we're still living in the wreckage."
WANT A SEAT AT THE TABLE?
The Table is a small, email-based conversation space for creative people in the long middle. No apps. No feeds. No pressure. No posting requirements. Just occasional emails about the real stuff—and the option to reply, or not.
Some weeks you'll get a reflection. Some weeks a question. Some weeks nothing. Sometimes it's about creative existential dread. Sometimes it's about whether gaffer tape smells different depending on the brand.
It's a pub table. But everyone's wearing sweatpants. And nobody has to drive home.
If you want a seat, email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Subject line: "I'd like a seat at The Table"
LINKS:
Website: terriblephotographer.com
The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter
Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support
Email the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, thoughts, rage—I respond to everything.
CREDITS:
Influencers talk about cameras. This book is about the things cameras can’t fix. The war is internal, not technical.
Introducing the First Edition Collector’s Box.
Get yours here: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
Why does a $600 light get dismissed while a $3,000 light gets respect, even when they produce identical results? Why do wedding photographers apologize by saying “I’m just a wedding photographer”? And why do we hide the work we’re actually doing because it’s not the “right” kind of work?
In Part 3 of The Long Middle series, Patrick examines the hierarchies that divide creative professionals, and admits his own complicity in enforcing them.
From a tense Zoom call about Profoto versus Godox, to being dismissed in Clubhouse rooms, to looking down on other photographers while feeling looked down upon himself, this episode pulls no punches about how gatekeeping actually works, who it serves, and why we keep it alive.
IN THIS EPISODE:
THE CHALLENGE: The next time someone asks "What are you working on?"—tell them the truth. Not the impressive version. Not the potential job. The actual work you're doing right now. Say it like it's legitimate work. Because it is.
KEY QUOTE: "The hierarchy doesn't survive because the people at the top enforce it. It survives because the people in the middle enforce it. Because we're so afraid of being dismissed, we dismiss someone else first."
LINKS:
Website: terriblephotographer.com
The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter
Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support
Email the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, thoughts, rage—I respond to everything.
CREDITS
• Music: Licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions
• Written and Produced by: Patrick Fore
• Episode Image: Licensed through Adobe Stock
Influencers talk about cameras. This book is about the things cameras can’t fix. The war is internal, not technical.
Introducing the First Edition Collector’s Box.
Get yours here: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
When Vanity Fair published Christopher Anderson’s portraits of the White House’s inner circle, the internet reacted to the politics. But as photographers, we need to look closer. We need to look at the framing.
In this bonus episode, Patrick Fore deconstructs the word "Framing." It’s not just the rule of thirds or leading lines—it’s authorship. It’s the decision to show truth over comfort, and humanity over "hero energy." Patrick opens up about his own struggle with "cowering" to the moment and why we’ve all become a little too good at making the world look beige.
In this episode, we discuss:
ABOUT CHRISTOPHER ANDERSON
Christopher Anderson is a member of Magnum Photos and is widely considered one of the most influential photographers of his generation. He first gained international recognition for his work documenting the Haitian refugee crisis, where the boat he was traveling on sank in the Caribbean—work that earned him the Robert Capa Gold Medal.
Whether he is documenting conflict, the streets of Shenzhen, or the corridors of power in D.C., Anderson’s work is defined by an intense, emotional intimacy and a refusal to provide a "clean" or "commercial" version of reality.
Find his work here:
LINKS
CREDITS
Influencers talk about cameras. This book is about the things cameras can’t fix. The war is internal, not technical.
Introducing the First Edition Collector’s Box.
Get yours here: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
Why do photographers wear so much black? Why do we feel confident on stage but panic at networking events? And why is it so hard to find real community in the creative industry?
In Part 2 of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores the costumes we wear—not just the black clothes and gear, but the professional roles and personas that keep us safe and isolated at the same time.
From 17th-century Japanese Kabuki theater to APA mixers in San Diego, this episode examines why we choose invisibility, what happens when we need established roles to feel legitimate, and the five-second decision that keeps us from connection.
IN THIS EPISODE:
THE CHALLENGE: The next time someone asks "How's it going?"—tell them one true thing. Not "busy." Not "crushing it." One honest thing. Drop the shield for ten seconds.
LINKS:
Website: terriblephotographer.com
The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter
Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support
Email the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, hate mail, and existential spirals are all welcome.
CREDITS:
Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.
Episode Artwork Photo by @erwimadethis
Written and Produced by Patrick Fore
NEXT WEEK: Part 3 – "The Enemy"
If the Costume hides us, Envy divides us. We're talking about scarcity mindset, comparison, and why we see our peers as threats instead of allies.
Influencers talk about cameras. This book is about the things cameras can’t fix. The war is internal, not technical.
Introducing the First Edition Collector’s Box.
Get yours here: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
In January 2007, Joshua Bell—one of the world's best violinists—played a $3.5 million Stradivarius in a Washington D.C. subway station. Over 1,000 people walked past. Only 7 stopped to listen. He made $32.
If you've ever felt like you're playing your heart out while everyone walks past... this episode is for you.
This is Part 1 of a 4-part series called "The Long Middle"—about that specific season in a creative life where you've mastered the skills, built the business, done everything "right"... but something still feels off.
Today's episode is about the loneliness that comes with expertise. The isolation that happens when you get really good at something and realize fewer and fewer people can see what you're actually doing.
You're not broken. You're not ungrateful. You're not alone.
You're just operating at a level where most people can't witness the craft.
IN THIS EPISODE
The Joshua Bell Experiment
Why one of the world's greatest violinists was invisible in a subway station—and what that tells us about creative loneliness.
Sarah's Email
A successful wedding photographer who's "disappearing into the work" despite doing everything right. Her story will sound familiar.
The Loneliness of Mastery
The higher you climb in your craft, the lonelier it gets. Not because you're failing—because fewer people can see what you're actually doing.
Three Types of Loneliness
The Taylor Guitars Story
How shooting a spray robot in a hazmat suit taught me what it feels like to be invisible at the level of expertise.
Gratitude as a Weapon
The difference between genuine gratitude and obligatory gratitude—and why "you should be grateful" has become one of the most damaging phrases in the creative industry.
The Research
Studies on senior executives, designers, and creative professionals all point to the same truth: expertise is isolating. It's documented. It's real. You're not crazy.
Witnessed vs. Consumed
The difference between 10,000 likes and one person who asks, "How did you do that?"
Rivers vs. Pools
Why fast-moving communities (Discord, social media) provide stimulation but not transformation—and what we need instead.
KEY CONCEPTS & FRAMEWORKS
RESEARCH MENTIONED
QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE
WHAT'S NEXT
This is Part 1 of a 4-part series called "The Long Middle." Over the next three weeks, we'll explore:
If you're Joshua Bell in the subway right now—if you're doing your best work and feeling completely invisible—email me. Tell me about the work nobody sees.
BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT
Lessons From A Terrible Photographer is now available as a Limited Collector's Box ($69.99).
Includes:
Standard hardback coming January 2026.
Get yours: terriblephotographer.com
CONNECT
Email: podcast@terriblephotographer.com
I respond to everything. Seriously. Tell me what bar you just let go of. Tell me about the work nobody sees.
Website: terriblephotographer.com
Instagram: @terriblephotographer
CREDITS
Music in this episode from Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.
Episode photography provided by Benjamin Behre / Unsplash
Written, Recorded, Produced & Edited by me, Patrick Fore.
EPISODE STATS
Episode: 40
Series: The Long Middle (Part 1 of 4)
Runtime: ~35 minutes
TAGS
#CreativeLoneliness #PhotographyPodcast #CreativeEntrepreneur #MasteryAndIsolation #CreativeCommunity #TheTerriblePhotographer #JoshuaBell #WitnessedNotConsumed #ExpertiseIsolation #CommercialPhotography #CreativeLife #LongMiddle #ThePool
LISTENER SUPPORT
If this episode resonated with you, the best way to support the show is to:
This show exists because you listen. Thank you for being here.
© 2025 The Terrible Photographer Podcast. All rights reserved.
Belle Gibson faked cancer. The Stauffers rehomed their adopted son when the content became too difficult. Ruby Franke is currently sitting in a prison cell.
It’s easy to look at the monsters of the influencer economy and think, "I am nothing like them." But if you peel back the layers of how we document our own lives, the difference might be smaller than we’d like to admit.
In this episode, we dig into the "Curator's Disease"—the urge to professionalize our own existence. We look at how commercial production techniques have trickled down from ad agencies to our Saturday mornings, how we reverse-engineer our lives to fit a "Lululemon" aesthetic, and the exhausted reality of treating your family like supporting cast members.
We discuss the difference between capturing a beautiful moment and interrupting a life to manufacture one. It’s time to get out of the Director’s Chair.
In this episode:
Connect with The Terrible Photographer:
Credits:
June 6, 1944. Robert Capa is wading through the freezing water of Omaha Beach. He captures the most important images of the 20th century, and technically, they are a disaster. They are blurry. They are grainy. They are imperfect. And that is exactly why they matter.
In this episode, Patrick explores the physics of light, the "hostage negotiation" of the exposure triangle, and why we are so terrified of grain. We look at how the market has colonized our vision, leading us to trade atmosphere for information and "safe" images for honest ones.
Most importantly, Patrick confesses to "art directing" his own daughter's childhood—prioritizing perfect light over real memories—and asks if it's possible to trade competence back for presence.
In this episode, we talk about:
Support the Show: If you enjoy these ramblings, or if this episode made you feel slightly less guilty about your grainy photos, consider fueling the next one. You can buy me a coffee (or let's be honest, a beer) to help keep the mics on and the existential spirals coming.
Links & Resources:
Credits:
In 1863, the Paris Salon rejected Édouard Manet's The Luncheon on the Grass for being too messy, too flat, too "unfinished." Today, it's one of the most important paintings in art history. Meanwhile, the "perfect" paintings that won the medals? Nobody remembers them.
In this episode, we're deconstructing the biggest question photographers face: What makes a photo "good"? How do we measure it? Who decides? And why do we keep building portfolios that are technically perfect but emotionally dead?
This is the first episode in a new mid-week series called "Basics, Deconstructed" we take the elementary concepts of photography and tear them down until we find the bone.
In This Episode:
Key Quote:
"I don't hire photographers to be commercial. I hire technicians to be sharp. I hire photographers to make me feel something."
Contact & Support:
📧 Email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
(Questions, thoughts, hate mail—I respond to everything.)
🎵 Music: epidemicsound.com
☕ Support the show: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer
📬 Newsletter (Pub Notes): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb
In this episode, I talk about the question that has been following me around like a stray dog with abandonment issues:
“What am I doing wrong?”
A late-night Zoom call.
A missed phone call that might have cost me a job.
Fabric mocking me at 2 AM.
Postponing Christmas.
Pretending patience is a virtue when really it’s just a financial liability.
This one is not a framework or a lesson.
It is a confession.
A pressure valve.
A look at the part of the creative journey nobody posts about because it is messy and embarrassing and makes you question whether you even belong in the room.
We get into:
If you have ever wondered whether you are behind, off-track, or quietly failing your way through your creative life, this episode is for you.
Music Provided by:
https://www.epidemicsound.com
Support the Show
If the podcast means something to you, or if it helps you feel a little less alone in this creative circus, you can support the show here:
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support
Your support keeps the lights on, the episodes coming, and the midnight fabric-styling breakdowns to a minimum. Thank you for being part of this.
This is the episode I’ve been avoiding.
Not because I don’t have an opinion about AI — but because I have too many feelings about it. Gratitude. Fear. Anger. Wonder. All tangled together.
AI has become my external brain — a tool that helps me function, organize, even parent. And at the same time, it’s the thing that might end my career.
In this episode, I talk honestly about what Adobe’s new AI tools mean for photographers, artists, and the humans behind the craft. About the moment when “photo editing” turns into “people editing.” And about what we lose when images no longer require someone to be there — to see, to choose, to feel.
Because when everything becomes generated, the rarest thing left might just be the real.
This isn’t a tech breakdown. It’s a gut check.
In This Episode:
Featured Voices:
A few members of The Terrible Community share how AI makes them feel — not what they think about it.
“AI is lazy… it’s not intelligent, it’s just reflecting us — all our bias, all our noise — and pretending it’s something new.”Light Leak:
Go make something where the practice is the point.
Shoot something you’ll never post.
Feel the weight of the camera in your hand — that’s what real still feels like.
Because that’s the thing they can’t generate.
That’s the thing they can’t take from you.
Listen If You’ve Ever Thought:
Credits:
Written & Narrated by: Patrick Fore
Produced by: The Terrible Photographer
Community Voicemails: Members of The Terrible List
Music & Sound Design: Blue Dot Sessions
Robots by Flight of the Concords (1-minute)
Connect:
Episode 34 | November 2025
I was in my garage last Tuesday, shooting beef tallow. Yes, beef tallow—jarred cow fat with a marketing department. And while I'm adjusting highlights on solidified animal fat for the fourth time, I'm thinking: I used to shoot for Rolling Stone. What happened?
Then my friend Candice texted. An illustrator in St. Louis. I asked how business was going.
"Everything is a garbage fire out there."
And that's when I realized: we're both drowning. But for completely opposite reasons.
She doesn't have enough work. I have plenty of work—just the wrong work. And neither of us could shake the feeling that something bigger was happening.
So I dug into the data. Economic reports, central bank surveys, and consumer debt studies. And what I found explains why so many freelancers feel like they're either sprinting or sinking right now.
The economy didn't just slow down. It split in half.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
The Three-Restaurant Economy
The Economic Data (Made Human)
What to Actually Do Tomorrow
Why Craft Still Matters
Timestamps:
00:00 - Cold Open: Beef Tallow in My Garage
08:45 - The Text Message That Changed Everything
12:30 - The Three-Restaurant Economy (The Metaphor)
18:20 - The Economic Data: What Actually Happened
26:15 - Why We're Both Drowning
31:40 - Where the Money Actually Is (Three Specific Markets)
38:50 - What to Actually Do Tomorrow (Tactical Actions)
48:20 - The Productivity Lie (And the Stoic Response)
53:10 - The Shadow Question (What Are You Actually Ashamed Of?)
58:30 - Why This Still Matters (Lucy, Charlie, and Showing Up)
01:06:45 - Outro
Key Takeaways:
Resources Mentioned:
Economic Data Sources:
Strategic Frameworks:
What's Next:
If this episode resonated with you, text a fellow creative and ask them: "How are you? Really?" Because the loneliest part of this moment isn't the struggle—it's the belief that you're the only one struggling.
And if you want to talk more about navigating the bifurcated creative economy, hit me up on Instagram @patrickfore or email me at patrick@terriblephotographer.com
The garbage fire is real. But so are we.
About The Terrible Photographer Podcast:
This is a show for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters while also paying rent. We talk about identity, craft, failure, and the absurdity of the creative industry—with radical honesty and zero bullshit.
If you're tired of toxic positivity and gear reviews, you're in the right place.
More Episodes: http://terriblephotographer.com
Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming Dec 2025)
Credits:
Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick Fore
Music: Epidemic Sound
Recorded in: San Diego, California
Support the show: If this episode helped you, the best thing you can do is share it with another creative who needs to hear it. Word of mouth keeps this show alive.
Have you ever shared something you were excited about only to have it met with "yeah, maybe" or "how are you going to monetize that?"
In this episode, I sit down with a story that's been eating at me for weeks — a conversation at a coffee shop that revealed something uncomfortable about regret, haunted creatives, and the ghosts of unmade work.
This isn't about toxic positivity or hustle culture. It's about understanding the difference between someone who's tired and someone who's haunted. Between love and regret. Between the people who will protect your ideas and the ones who will kill them — often without realizing it.
And if I'm honest, it's about recognizing when we become those people ourselves.
In This Episode
The Coffee Shop Moment A conversation with a photographer friend that starts with excitement and ends with something closer to mourning.
The Difference Between Tired and Haunted Why some people poke holes in your ideas — and it has nothing to do with you.
Three Faces of Haunting
The Idea Graveyard My own confession: the photo essay about my hometown that will never exist, and what it taught me about shelf life.
Love vs. Regret How my wife Jaimi saved me from launching a business I didn't actually want — and how to tell the difference between questions that protect you and questions that undermine you.
The Physics of Regret How other people's ghosts create friction that converts your creative momentum into heat, defensiveness, and eventual paralysis.
Protecting Your Butterflies Practical strategies for guarding your ideas and building a "Go" list instead of a "Know" list.
Key Takeaways
Quotable Moments
"He wasn't trying to kill my idea. He was mourning his own."
"When your idea gets that big, that expensive, that unreachable — it becomes a shield. The dream has become the cage."
"Ideas have a shelf life. They start fresh, urgent, necessary. Leave them too long, they spoil."
"Haunted people ask questions to protect themselves. People who love you ask questions to protect you."
"Friction converts kinetic energy into heat. Your momentum gets converted into defensiveness. Your creative energy burns off as anxiety."
"The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin
"You can't hitch your momentum to parked cars."
The Light Leak Assignment
Make two lists:
List One: The Haunted People who respond to your excitement with skepticism, apathy, or "yeah, maybe." They don't get access to your butterflies.
List Two: The Builders The ones who finish, ship, say "fuck yes," and offer help instead of obstacles. These are your people.
Stop pitching to List One. Guard your butterflies. Feed them only to people who still believe they're real.
Concepts Explored:
Quote: "The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin
Connect With Patrick
Website: patrickfore.com
Instagram: @patrickfore
Podcast: The Terrible Photographer
Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming soon)
Credits
Host & Producer: Patrick Fore
Episode Photography: Amy Humphries Find Amy on Instagram: @amyjoyhumphries
Music Licensed Through:
Support The Show
If this episode resonated with you, here's how you can help:
A Note From Patrick
This episode has been living in my head for weeks. The coffee shop conversation happened months ago, but it took me this long to understand what it was really about.
I hope this gives you permission to protect your ideas. To say "fuck yes" to butterflies when they land on your shoulder. And to stop asking permission from people who stopped saying yes a long time ago.
Thanks for being here.
Until next Tuesday — stay curious, stay courageous, and yeah, stay terrible.
— Patrick
The Terrible Photographer is a podcast for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters. We don't do hustle culture. We don't do toxic positivity. We do honest conversations about creativity, identity, and finding your voice.
You ever buy a twenty-two-dollar airport sandwich and convinced yourself it was worth it?
That’s what this week’s episode is about — except the sandwich is a photography competition.
In Gold Star, Patrick unpacks his love-hate relationship with the American Photographic Artists’ Untitled competition — and what it reveals about the creative world’s obsession with approval. From spreadsheets of judges to award-show absurdities like the Oscars and Grammys, this episode digs into why artists still crave validation from systems they don’t even believe in.
It’s funny, frustrated, and a little too honest — a meditation on why we keep chasing the gold stars that will never love us back.
Featuring a clip from Jim Carrey’s Golden Globes speech, a story about Patrick’s first Houston Addy Award, and a Light Leak that challenges you to make something that doesn’t need anyone’s permission to exist.
You’ll hear about:
Mentioned in this episode:
Light Leak: The Paradox of the Work
What if you stopped making work for judges, algorithms, and invisible audiences — and started making the thing that’s too honest to explain?
Why creatives stay stuck, even when the door’s wide open.
We all want freedom. Creative freedom, emotional freedom, professional freedom. But here’s the thing nobody tells you:
You can be free… and still live like you’re caged.
In this episode, I break down the three invisible cages every creative person ends up pacing:
It starts with a pacing lioness in San Diego, makes a detour through childhood Masonic mystery, and ends in a gallery in LA with a man named Jesse and a story I still can’t shake.
If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own success, your style, your niche, or your silence… this one’s for you.
Light Leak Assignment:
Choose your cage.
Take one honest step outside it.
Before the week ends.
No excuses.
Listen if you’ve ever said:
Support the Show:
This show is 100% listener-supported, which means I’m not selling presets, funnel hacks, or “ten ways to make six figures with your camera.”
But if the episode made you feel something — if it helped you name the cage — I’d love your support.
👉 terriblephotographer.com/support
Three amazing humans have already joined. Be the fourth. Let’s get weird and honest together.
Episode Topics:
🔗 Other Mentions:
Stay curious. Stay courageous. And yeah… stay terrible.
A milestone. And maybe the most uncomfortable episode I've made so far.
A few weeks ago, I sent an email to thirty photographers I know. I asked them one question: What's your dirty little secret? The thing you'd never admit publicly. The thought that lives in the back of your brain at 3 AM.
I told them it would be anonymous. I just wanted the truth.
And I got a lot of responses.
This episode is about those secrets. The ones we carry alone. The ones that make us feel like frauds, or failures, or like we've made a massive mistake.
Some of these might be mine. I'm not telling you which ones.
But they're all real. And if you've thought any of them, you're not alone.
The Eight Secrets
Mentioned in This Episode
Leslie's Podcast: Niche to Meet You
A great show about finding your creative lane. Check it out.
Support The Show
This show costs money to make—hosting fees, software, time. If you're getting value from it and want to help keep it going, you can support the show here:
terriblephotographer.com/support
The show's free. It's staying free. But if you want to chip in, I appreciate it.
Stay Connected
📸 Instagram: @terriblephotographer
📧 Newsletter: Subscribe to PubNotes
🌐 Website: terriblephotographer.com
Credits
Music:
Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick Fore
Your Turn
Write down one secret. One thing you've never said out loud. Not for Instagram. Not for anyone else. Just for you.
Take it out of the dark and look at it in the light.
You don't have to solve it. You just have to stop pretending it's not there.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with another creative who needs to hear it. And if you want to support the show, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more than you know.
Have you ever had a day where you told yourself you were “busy”… but couldn’t actually remember what you did? I know I have. Hours lost to scrolling, inboxes, half-finished tasks — and somehow at the end of it, I’m exhausted but nothing’s really done.
In this episode of The Terrible Photographer Podcast, I go after the two liars in my head who keep me trapped in that fake middle ground:
Neither one delivers real work. Neither one delivers real rest. And both are lying to us.
Instead, I want to talk about presence — the kind my Border Collie, Loki, embodies every time he drops into that crouch and locks onto a tennis ball like it owes him money. Which leads to…
⏱️ The Light Leak (36:40): The Loki Method — a simple, one-task-at-a-time rebellion against hustle culture and procrastination. Full attention, sacred focus, and real rest are scheduled like it actually matters.
This episode is about rediscovering focus, dignity in the ordinary, and finding a way to work present instead of just working harder.
If you’ve ever felt stuck between fake productivity and fake rest, this one’s for you.
Music provided by Blue Dot Sessions
What if the most radical thing you can say about your creative work is: it’s okay?
In this episode, Patrick dives into the beige middle of creative life — the 80% of days that aren’t fireworks or disasters. He tears into LinkedIn’s toxic lobster-and-champagne highlight reel, confesses his late-night burger-level Photoshop grinds, and introduces us to Sarah, a catering coordinator who redefined what “ordinary work” can mean.
Along the way you’ll hear:
This isn’t an episode about settling. It’s about survival, dignity, and gratitude for the work that keeps us human.
The tyranny was never that work is ordinary. The tyranny was believing ordinary wasn’t enough.
👉 Listen if: you’ve ever felt guilty for not loving every second of your “dream job,” or you’re tired of pretending passion is renewable.
👉 Stay for: a story that will make you grateful for the burger on your plate.
Resources & Mentions
Connect with Patrick
Credits
A New York–based commercial portrait photographer (big clients, covers, immaculate work) asked to talk. What came out wasn’t a portfolio review—it was a confession: he hasn’t made anything for himself in over a year, and he’s exhausted from performing passion he doesn’t feel. This episode is a permission slip for the photographers—and all creative workers—secretly pricing escape routes at 2 a.m. We talk about the unsaid epidemic of burnout, the grief under AI “efficiency,” and three practical permissions to help you stop performing and start feeling again. If you need someone to say it: you’re allowed to quit the version of creativity that’s killing you.
What you’ll hear
Chapter guide
The Light Leak (listener assignment)
For the next 7 days, make one thing a day that no one sees but you. No posting, no portfolio, no feedback. Just curiosity. If you want to break the rules publicly, tag #StayTerrible—but the real win is remembering what it feels like to make without an audience.
Pull quotes
Resources & references
Music & audio credit
Episode Photography by Filip Mroz | Unsplash
Who this episode is for
Commercial photographers, portrait shooters, freelancers, art directors, and any creative who’s tired of performing passion while running on empty—and needs permission to step off the treadmill without abandoning their voice.
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One meditation. One burning question. One reminder you’re not alone. Every Wednesday in your inbox — shorter, sharper, and more honest than I could ever be in a long essay.
Subscribe to Pub Notes: terriblephotographer.com
Some days the world is too loud, too endless. You don’t need another lecture. You need a pint, a hard truth, and a line you can actually carry into tomorrow.
This week’s episode is an experiment I’m calling Pub Meditations — three acts, two meditations per act. Six in total. Each one pulled from the episodes that hit hardest this year, reimagined as something shorter, sharper, and closer to the way the Stoics wrote: notes to survive the day.
In the cold open, I borrow the first couple minutes from Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic — a podcast I can’t recommend enough. Ryan’s voice is where I first realized Stoicism wasn’t about flatlining your emotions, it was about surviving chaos with your humanity intact. Go listen, subscribe, and keep a notebook handy.
What’s inside this episode:
Line you carry: Survival. Shadows. Light. Beauty. The tools haven’t changed in two thousand years — keep it short, keep it sharp, keep it honest.
Credits
Every kid asks their art teacher, “Is it good?”—and most of us never stop. In this episode, Patrick sits in Lucy’s middle-school art room and realizes he’s still chasing the same answer on high-stakes sets: watching client faces, parsing murmurs behind a monitor, riding the narcotic of approval.
We get into the modern authorities—clients, algorithms, mood boards—and the way we internalize them until we’re grading ourselves before anyone else can. We talk Gordon Parks, who lived the tension between immaculate Vogue spreads (noble, beautiful, necessary) and dangerous truth-telling (American Gothic, segregation, Malcolm X). We bring in Tolstoy’s blunt metric for art—sincerity that transmits feeling—and then admit the hypocrisy of needing authority to say “ignore authority.”
Finally, we bring it home with practical footholds for working photographers and every other creative human: how to hold the tension between survival and legacy, how to make room for truth without burning down your life, and what it looks like to start small, local, and personal—today.
Chapter markers (suggested)
Key takeaways
Practical prompts (do one this week)
Pull quotes
References & shout-outs
New listener compass
New here? This isn’t “business hacks to win in 2025.” We go deep on the real life of making honest work while paying bills—sometimes deadly serious, sometimes ridiculous. Photographers, designers, teachers, parents—if you’re trying to lead a meaningful life, solve interesting problems, and make beautiful things, you’re in the right place. Try: Ep. 5 Still Here (hopeful), Ep. 19 The Job I Hate the Least (funny), Ep. 17 The Technician (identity & reinvention).
Credits