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The Upshot
The Upshot
230 episodes
10 hours ago
The Upshot pulls back the curtain on your favourite sports and dives into all the stuff BBC and Sky wouldn’t touch with a bargepole: drunken antics, dressing room squabbles and the simmering sexual tension of the French football team.Check out our semi-legendary newsletter that goes to 100,000+ subscribers: http://www.upshot.email?utm_source=poddescriptionAnd our Twitter account, where we dig into the archives and spill classic tales from the past: http://www.twitter.com/upshottowers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Sports
Comedy
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All content for The Upshot is the property of The Upshot and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
The Upshot pulls back the curtain on your favourite sports and dives into all the stuff BBC and Sky wouldn’t touch with a bargepole: drunken antics, dressing room squabbles and the simmering sexual tension of the French football team.Check out our semi-legendary newsletter that goes to 100,000+ subscribers: http://www.upshot.email?utm_source=poddescriptionAnd our Twitter account, where we dig into the archives and spill classic tales from the past: http://www.twitter.com/upshottowers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Sports
Comedy
Episodes (20/230)
The Upshot
Zlatan Ibrahimovic: get the milk, asshole (with Joel Golby)

Malmo, Sweden. A 6ft 5 arsonist speeds away from a burning hot dog stand in a rented Lexus.


Little do the cops know, the mystery bomber is playing in the Champions League on Tuesday night.


It’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the cocksure striker with a criminal streak.


From robbing the manager to terrorising randy priests, this is his story…


Follow Joel on Insta: www.instagram.com/joelgolby


And buy his book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Four-Stars-Britains-best-loved-journalists


Links from the pod: 


Stopped by police: https://www.pppress.se/wp-content/uploads/2001/PPIBRAHIM1-20010103/PPIBRAHIM1-20010103.jpg


Goal against Netherlands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2WsVHbD7zg


Overhead kick against England: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM_5tJncHww


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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10 hours ago
54 minutes

The Upshot
Joe Marler’s big day out is RUINED | The funniest stories in sport this week

Plus: disgraced Spanish FA chief Luis Rubiales is egged by his uncle, the Serbian WAG who’s dad was a warlord, and our man Down Under gives us the inside scoop on Ashes Eve.


Sign up to The Upshot’s Patreon for EARLY ACCESS TICKETS TO OUR LIVE TOUR next April. Do not miss out!


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Use code UPSHOT at https://uk.manscaped.com/ to get 15% off plus free shipping.


Links from the pod:


ESPN Brazil commentary of Troy Parrott’s winner: https://x.com/ballsdotie/status/1990315434797875497 


Kevin Doyle in RTE studio: https://www.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/1oyuman/the_rte_studio_after_parrott_scored 


Barmy Army awful song: https://www.instagram.com/p/DQQ9RevDGnz/?hl=en 


Luis Rubiales gettin’ egged: https://x.com/MenInBlazers/status/1989139463587639324 


Luis Rubiales uncle pic: https://www.instagram.com/p/BzH6x_vFUi6/?hl=en 


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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5 days ago
43 minutes 52 seconds

The Upshot
Matt Le Tissier: how a Prem legend went tin foil hat (part two)

Matt Le Tissier’s empire of filth has been shut down by the cops. 


And he’ll never trust the establishment again.


But his battles with the state and its puppets are just getting started.


In part 2, Matt hooks up with Goldilocks at a pantomime, feuds with Glen Hoddle and Gary Lineker, and uncovers the sinister plot to control the weather…


Links from the pod: 


Valley Slags: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixXIosCrCLY


Calling out Ian Wright on GB News: https://x.com/beardedgenius/status/1634290810115039233


Withdraws consent to be governed: https://x.com/mattletiss7/status/1679913916313239569


Looking at Rishi Sunak in DISGUST: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GCm3ZX2WMAA_hFr.jpg


Livestream with numerologist: https://x.com/Nullen80/status/1780210491878465642


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 week ago
43 minutes 31 seconds

The Upshot
I was bullied by Brooklyn Beckham | The funniest stories in sport this week

Plus: Infantino makes a tit of himself again, and departing gaffer Rob Edwards is thrown out of Middlesbrough by security


EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐


Links from the pod:


Mascots minute silence: https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624


Join The Upshot’s Patreon for never-heard details of Balotelli’s firework house fire, plus the swinging 60s tale of champagne-swigging, spy-shagging Man City legend Malcolm Allison.


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 week ago
43 minutes 24 seconds

The Upshot
Matt Le Tissier: a playboy gone potty (part one)

In the 1990s, Matt Le Tissier was the ultimate cult hero.


A Malibu-swigging everyman with magic feet, he ran a strip club, got headbutted on dancefloors and guzzled KFC buckets every night.


But then things got a bit weird.


In his second act, Le Tiss warn against communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and withdrew his consent to be governed.


This is his story…


Links from the pod:


Amazing goal vs Blackburn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cx59N1wHcs 


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 weeks ago
46 minutes 20 seconds

The Upshot
Jake Humphrey’s curse claims another victim | The funniest stories in sport this week

Plus: Wesley Fofana gets 47 points on his licence and the Spurs star held at gunpoint by his agent.


Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner


Links from the pod:


Wesley Fofana speeding: https://x.com/search?q=fofana%20driving&src=typed_query


Zenit midfielder attempted kidnapping: https://x.com/Buckarobanza/status/1982730247402586248 


Divas del futbol: https://www.instagram.com/divasdelfutboloficial/ 


Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the blundering mayhem of Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot… 


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 weeks ago
47 minutes 33 seconds

The Upshot
Silvio Berlusconi: Bunga Bunga Presidente (part two)

Silvio Berlusconi is the all powerful King of Italy, and behind the scenes, he’s up to some very, very seedy antics.


He dresses escorts as Barack Obama, lures George Clooney into his lair, and is rocked by an ungodly number of sex scandals.


Links from the episode:


Christmas party speech: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668281158889603072 


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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3 weeks ago
41 minutes 12 seconds

The Upshot
Martin O’Neill’s Yorkshire Ripper run in | Extra shot

On the pod: The midfielder who stole the second most famous painting in the world, and an Aussie Surfer’s despicable deed outrages India.


EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐


Links from the pod:


Louvre heist detective: https://share.google/images/twil1XYbeD1bwkILY 


Vitor Pereira arguing with Wolves fans: https://x.com/footbalIfights/status/1982763178967933114 


And dancing with them in Wetherspoons last season: https://x.com/wwfcscott/status/1911520510636380545? 


Jose Sa confrontation in the car park: https://x.com/_AlwaysWolves/status/1982577368486293639 


Jorginho fishy pants prank: https://www.instagram.com/p/DQLGe0sjCfF/?hl=en 


Surfer (not) pooing in sacred lake: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPsMXGjk20o/?hl=en 


Trump and Erdogan: https://x.com/Acyn/status/1971239367172817119 


Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the clucking mad story of Colonel Sanders. He’s finger lickin’ baaad…..


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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3 weeks ago
41 minutes 22 seconds

The Upshot
Silvio Berlusconi: the seediest man in football (part one)

Milan, 1986. Italian billionaire Silvio Berlusconi lands on the San Siro pitch in a helicopter blasting Ride of the Valkyries.


He leads AC Milan to two decades of glory, but behind the suntan and scudettos lurks an empire of sleaze.


Silvio scrapped with Liverpool fans, lured the EU president to a sex party and branded the German chancellor an “unfuckable lardarse”.


And he was still elected Prime Minister three times.


From mafia henchmen to bunga bunga sex parties, welcome to the seedy world of Silvio Berlusconi…


Listen to part two RIGHT NOW, and get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers


Links from the episode:


Ogling Danish PM at an EU summit: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668280950852145152 


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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4 weeks ago
35 minutes 29 seconds

The Upshot
Jack Grealish on the sesh in Dubai | Extra shot

Plus: Pierluigi Collina strips his fellow refs naked, the man with a Man United crest tattooed on his forehead, and is Tom Daly a bastard?


Links from the pod:


Fergie and Kenny Dalglish sharing a bag of chocolate buttons: https://x.com/SkySportsPL/status/1979949849542828491 


Man Utd fan tattoo: https://share.google/images/yLW19WTsvKd1mGNZA 


Pep with autograph hunters: https://x.com/City_Chief/status/1878532555911115241 


Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the clucking mad story of Colonel Sanders. He’s finger lickin’ baaad…..


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
1 hour 4 minutes 58 seconds

The Upshot
Mickey Thomas: Welcome to Wrectum

These days, Wrexham Football Club is a saccharine Disney+ fairytale starring white toothed Hollywood megastars.

 

But there was a time when the club’s biggest hero was a champagne swigging convict with a thirst for beauty queens and fake bank notes.


His name was Mickey Thomas.


From seshes with George Michael to screwdrivers up the aris, this is the story of the Welsh George Best…


Get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the episode:

Screamer free kick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPyoWu0CHAg 



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
43 minutes 57 seconds

The Upshot
FIFA unveil a new grift and why Mbappe is jealous of Joe Willock | Extra shot

Plus: the Argentine fan who turned up to his own funeral


EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐


Links from the pod:


Infantino at peace summit: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPww9n1jdRj/ 


Irish Cape Verde star: https://x.com/BBCMOTD/status/1978036280392098003 


Joe Willock runs out of petrol: https://x.com/Allansoldfriend/status/1975197101702488256


Makmudov sledgehammer training: https://x.com/IFLTV/status/1656021871316410403


Listen to our live special recorded from Watson’s General Telegraph pub…


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
41 minutes 14 seconds

The Upshot
Muhammad Ali: below the belt (part two) | with Frazer Clarke

Buckle in for part two, as Ali hangs out with Sadam Hussein, begins a four way marriage, and knocks down a coked up Marvin Gaye.


Links from the pod:


Press conference before Joe Frazier fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1pZPCLz-k4 


Speech before Rumble in the Jungle: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDxRvuZSpM3/?hl=en-gb 


Pic of Bob Arun: https://share.google/images/8WiLs9DXniRQNmCU4 


Get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
54 minutes 51 seconds

The Upshot
Alan Sugar fires Jamie Redknapp and more of the funniest stories this week | Extra shot

Plus: your chance to eat dinner with the mum of the second best player in the world


Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner


Links from the pod:


Jamie Redknapp’s apology: https://x.com/Lord_Sugar/status/1974227330068590899 


Claude Littner’s most savage moment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g14HC6NagRs 


Eat dinner with lamine yamal’s mum: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/christmas-sports-dinner-gala-party-with-lamine-yamals-mother-sheila-ebana-tickets-1732517248729


Bin Laden’s son: https://www.reddit.com/r/UtterlyInteresting/comments/17y6lz8/osama_bin_ladens_son_has_grown_into_a_gothmetal/


Russell Martin smuggled out of the stadium: https://x.com/SkyFootball/status/1974891306590613921 


Malcom Allison’s seedy bath: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNRsAqulN7zOHLEcGuhnQwnXXQ5WtSKETRL4UmrbnaO8zXxulxoGEuevyYor-V8hbhJgutxd3hjvvVdUl4JDGHdUW4maR5n_1eTep15DfeuriUlX6Vsg2mrGJQyosSNr9AWwU-w/s1600/Malcolm+and+Fiona.jpg


Shaq djing: https://x.com/ALLANJULIE73742/status/1972650162217738397/video/1


Caroline Conolly kick ups: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPcQBR5DX7U/


Meet Gorgeous George, the womanizing wrestler who inspired Ali and Bob Dylan, when you sign up to our Patreon:


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
55 minutes 54 seconds

The Upshot
Muhammad Ali: the icon with a naughty streak (part one)

Listen to part 2 right now when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

(It’s cheaper when you use your browser to sign up instead of the patreon app)


New York City, 1970.


FBI agents listen in as a naked Muhammad Ali is chased round a seedy motel room by his knife-wielding wife.


She’s just caught him in bed with another woman.


In just three hours, 300m people will watch him take on Joe Frazier in The Fight of the Century.


Welcome to the crazy world of Muhammad Ali.


He was held at gunpoint by Idi Amin, got sentenced to five years in jail, and still won the heavyweight title three times.


This is his story…


Links from the pod: 


Float like a butterfly speech: ​​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXzQqqn-rVc


Sonny Liston shoots at him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtKKG1xas8I&t=22s


Beatles photo: https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-243520-ali-beatles.jpg


Crowned heavyweight champion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=JC-L76VZ3A4smd4r&t=1749&v=Bj8nFl-u_MY&feature=youtu.be


The phantom punch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFA3DFFavwk&ab_channel=berkangirgin


Speech about refusing the draft: https://youtu.be/vd9aIamXjQI?si=PZS9l_a40mO69NRM&t=50


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
43 minutes 54 seconds

The Upshot
Michael van Gerwen’s kebab shop scrap | Extra shot

On the pod today: Neymar hooked on shisha and an Arsenal star falls victim to a cruel 48 hour prank.


EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐


Links from the pod:


Michael van Gerwen’s scrap: https://x.com/rallyjef3/status/1972215606708699329 


Kazakh traditional version of the Champions League song: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPKN0CTDGmn/ 


Monty Panesar on mastermind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNeEQZn7eIk 


And Monty quizzing the public: https://youtu.be/OFrt3zw21T0?si=j3dt37GGi88AoOwR&t=277 


Dive into the mad world of Victorian endurance sports, and find out the location for our live recording of Extra Shot when you sign up to our Patreon:


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
38 minutes 17 seconds

The Upshot
Serial killers and sordid sagas on the green: wrong’uns of the Ryder Cup (part two)

Buckle in for part 2 of our Ryder Cup of wrong’uns, with sordid sagas starring the likes of Seve Ballesteros, Sir Nick Faldo and John Daly, the king of hooters. 


Plus a golfer who killed five men, and inside the secret parties where escorts are stationed on each green….


Get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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1 month ago
43 minutes 59 seconds

The Upshot
Jermaine Jenas hits Hooters | Extra shot

On the pod today: Gabby Logan subjects her son to sex chat and Jamie Vardy’s foul-mouthed Italian lessons


Links from the pod:


United Strand attacked by psycho: https://www.instagram.com/p/DO3LeutDOm9 


Ange Postocoglou’s translator sent off: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/m7a6zl/the_interpreter_for_yokohama_f_marinos_manager/ 


Get the batshit crazy story of Ozzy Osbourne right now when you sign up to our Patreon:


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 months ago
35 minutes 29 seconds

The Upshot
Cocaine and wife swapping: wrong’uns of the Ryder Cup (part one)

With their neatly pruned greens and spotless trousers, it’s easy to assume golfers are a tame and placid bunch.


But look beyond the Rolex adverts, and you’ll find a game swimming with drug use, wife swapping and MURDER.


From serial killers to shagging on the green, welcome to the Ryder Cup of Wrong’uns…


Listen to part two RIGHT NOW, and get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the pod:

Donald Trump on Arnold Palmer’s massive schlong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IuyTsSBOjM 

Greg Norman’s howitzer: https://share.google/images/nikEqzzFnFOesNKAh 

Rory McIlroy asleep: https://share.google/images/BiBC4VD5PSDu01SZN 

Jake Owen argument with Phil Mickelson: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LlTu_LNbXw0 



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 months ago
45 minutes 57 seconds

The Upshot
Carlos Alcaraz’s love triangle with Jannik Sinner | Extra shot

On the pod today: Edgar Davids has his priceless art collection stolen and JP’s brush with Rolf Harris.


Links from the pod:


Climax to 2023 Excel World Championship final: https://youtu.be/QwNoFOUiSiE?si=8_aILjA4u5Ui8DY-&t=585 


Excel theme song: https://www.youtube.com/live/GKbIPnu9CRI?si=j-rh9Kz7zamNtQ5j&t=14964 


Get the batshit crazy story of Ozzy Osbourne right now when you sign up to our Patreon:


https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 


(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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2 months ago
45 minutes 44 seconds

The Upshot
The Upshot pulls back the curtain on your favourite sports and dives into all the stuff BBC and Sky wouldn’t touch with a bargepole: drunken antics, dressing room squabbles and the simmering sexual tension of the French football team.Check out our semi-legendary newsletter that goes to 100,000+ subscribers: http://www.upshot.email?utm_source=poddescriptionAnd our Twitter account, where we dig into the archives and spill classic tales from the past: http://www.twitter.com/upshottowers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.