In this bonus episode of Therapy Works, I’m joined by Professor Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing With Feeling. We talk about why so many of us grew up without an emotional ally, how fear stops us asking the people we love how they really feel, and why emotions aren’t something to suppress or fix. They are information we need to listen to.Marc shares a clear, practical framework for emotional regulation, giving ourselves permission to feel, naming emotions, and calming the nervous system, alongside thoughtful ways to navigate family dynamics and become the support we may not have had growing up. It’s a hopeful, grounding conversation about learning emotional skills at any age, and passing them on. You can buy Marc’s latest book Dealing With Feeling here: https://amzn.eu/d/80YxubS This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a deeply moving question from a widowed father facing his first Christmas after the death of his wife. Six months into grief, he is trying to support three adult children while barely holding himself together, worried he’s failing them and watching one daughter take on too much responsibility as the family adjusts to an unfillable absence. With compassion and clarity, Sophie and Emily explore why trying to replace the person who has died can leave everyone exhausted, how grief reshapes family roles, and why acknowledging the presence of absence can be more healing than trying to make things “normal.” They offer gentle, practical guidance on talking openly about grief, supporting adult children who are grieving in different ways, approaching Christmas with flexibility, creating or changing rituals, and drawing in support rather than doing it all alone 0 reminding us that grief isn’t something to solve, but something to be carried together. Resources: Grief Works App: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode of Therapy Works, Julia, Emily and Sophie respond to a deeply moving letter from a listener questioning whether her long, emotionally disconnected marriage can be saved. They explore the complex layers of love, duty, financial dependence, neurodivergence, resentment, and midlife awakening - offering thoughtful reflections on grief, desire, the cost of staying, and the cost of leaving. With compassion and clarity, they discuss how therapy, imagining possible futures, practical planning, and understanding neurodivergent dynamics can help illuminate a way forward. They also share book and podcast recommendations, discuss the emotional impact on both partners, and remind listeners that meaningful change - whatever form it takes - doesn’t have to be rushed. Links & Resources Mentioned • Email your questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com • DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe • The Honesty Box by Lucy Brazier • Therapy Works episode with Lucy Brazier • The Four Minds by Miranda July (book referenced in the discussion) is called All Fours: https://mirandajuly.com/all-fours/ • Esther Perel x Miranda July conversation (podcast interview) • Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women by Oona Metz (guest mentioned as upcoming interview) If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Emily Samuel engages in a conversation with Dr. Anna Colton about her book, 'How to Talk to Children About Food'. They address common parental fears and misconceptions regarding children's eating habits and emphasise creating a positive, low-stress relationship with food. Dr. Colton highlights the importance of neutral and intuitive eating, discusses the role of family dynamics, and gives practical advice for parents, especially those dealing with their own dietary issues or past eating disorders. They also cover strategies for handling food-related stress during holidays and how to provide a balanced, non-punitive approach to child nutrition. Overall, the episode revolves around fostering healthy attitudes towards food without anxiety, aiming for prevention over correction. Find Anna: Website: https://www.dranna.co.uk/about Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drannacolton Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Children-About-Food/dp/1785120557 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode, Emily, Sophie and Julia respond to a powerful letter from a listener in her fifties who is still grieving the sudden loss of her mother during COVID, while also supporting a teenage daughter who adored her grandmother and coping with a painful fallout with her sister. Together, they explore how trauma can fracture families, why unresolved love has nowhere to go, and how small, gentle rituals can help create meaning when goodbyes were denied. They offer compassionate guidance on rebuilding connection, supporting a grieving teen, and finding personal stability amidst multiple layers of loss - reminding us that healing often begins with tiny steps, openness, and shared humanity. More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s Agony Aunties episode, Julia, Sophie and Emily answer a painfully relatable listener question about being unable to stop checking an ex’s Instagram — even from a secret second account. They explore why scrolling an ex feels so addictive (spoiler: it’s part heartbreak, part habit, part magical thinking), how it keeps us stuck in the past, and the practical behavioural tools that genuinely help break the cycle. From deleting apps temporarily, to “just for today” thinking, to catching the urge and offering yourself compassion before acting, they unpack why this pattern is so common — and how to gently free yourself from it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Therapy Works, Julia Samuel speaks with journalist Archie Bland - not in his role at The Guardian, but as Max’s dad. Archie describes the night his eight-week-old son stopped breathing, the frantic CPR, the ambulance to Great Ormond Street, and the brain injury that followed. He talks with raw honesty about naming it as a “catastrophe,” living with PTSD, the day-to-day realities of parenting a disabled child, and why he refuses the neat, “inspirational” narratives people often project onto families like his. He also shares the fierce love he feels for Max as he is now, the joy and grief of welcoming Max’s little brother Laurie, and the life-changing possibilities of communication technology like eye-gaze devices.After the conversation, Julia, Sophie and Emily reflect on rage in grief, the loneliness of “catastrophe-land,” and what it really means to hold both love and fury at the same time. This episode may be especially resonant for parents, carers and anyone touched by disability, trauma or sudden life change. If you are a parent or carer of a disabled child in the UK and need support, you can find practical help and advice at Contact – the charity for families with disabled children: https://contact.org.uk More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Agony Aunties series, the aunties respond to a heartfelt question from a listener about how to rebuild a sense of connection and community in midlife after losing several close friends. They explore the importance of actively nurturing relationships, reaching out to old friends, and embracing vulnerability as a way to form deeper bonds. The aunties share practical ideas - from joining local groups or volunteering to simply saying yes to new invitations - and remind listeners that strong social connections are vital for both emotional and physical wellbeing. Their message is clear: be brave, take small steps, and keep showing up for friendship, even when it feels hard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Therapy Works, Julia is joined by cook, writer and wellbeing advocate Melissa Hemsley for a heartfelt conversation about anxiety, self-compassion and finding steadiness in everyday life. Together, they explore how childhood experiences and family patterns can shape our emotional world, and how learning to live alongside anxiety - rather than fight it - can bring greater peace. Melissa speaks openly about motherhood, IVF and the challenge of slowing down, while Julia offers therapeutic insight into acceptance and emotional regulation.The conversation moves gently between food, feelings and the small rituals that help us feel safe and grounded. From cooking nourishing meals to walking outside or simply pausing for breath, Melissa reflects on how ordinary moments can be acts of care. This honest episode is a reminder that good enough really is enough, and that small kindnesses - to ourselves and others - can make all the difference.Find Melissa: 
Website: https://www.melissahemsley.com/Instagram: @Melissa.hemsleyBooks: https://www.melissahemsley.com/books More from Therapy Works:Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener who shares a heartfelt question about feeling invisible and struggling with self-acceptance while growing older.Together, they explore how societal pressures around youth and beauty can erode our confidence and sense of self, and they offer compassionate, practical ways to rebuild a healthier relationship with ageing. They discuss how to reconnect with inner vibrancy and joy, reflect on cultural differences in how older generations are valued, and share thoughtful resources - including the book Wise Women: Myths and Stories for Midlife by Sharon Blackie and the Instagram account @thebirdspapaya which focuses on body positivity and self-acceptance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on Therapy Works, I speak with Tracey, a 55-year-old mother of three, whose story is one of heartbreak, courage, and ultimately, liberation. Tracey describes the moment her marriage of 21 years ended in the most shocking and devastating way - a sudden revelation of her husband’s long-term infidelity. What followed was a period of deep grief, shame, and secrecy as she tried to protect her children while coming to terms with a truth that had completely upended her world. What struck me most in our conversation was Tracy’s honesty about the years that followed once the crisis had passed. She shared how, despite managing the practicalities of divorce with great competence, she carried the emotional weight of what had happened for far longer than she expected. Through therapy, friendship, and self-reflection, she began to release the shame that wasn’t hers to hold and, in doing so, discovered new aspects of herself, including her sexuality. Tracey’s story reminds us that even from the most painful experiences, something new and life-giving can emerge. When we stop pretending to be “fine,” when we tell the truth about what’s really happened, we make space for healing and, as Tracy beautifully puts it, for becoming “more you.” More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode, they respond to a listener’s question about managing social anxiety within a relationship. They explore how to communicate openly using “I” statements and metaphors, the importance of self-compassion, and taking small, manageable steps to expand comfort zones. The conversation touches on how exposure therapy can help reduce anxiety over time, and the delicate balance between seeking understanding from a partner and accepting that they may not fully experience your feelings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s episode, I’m joined by the wonderful Lulu - a woman whose energy fills any room she walks into.From global fame at 15 to finding peace at 77, Lulu shares her remarkable journey of learning to let go of performance and finally come home to herself. She talks honestly about the parts of her she left behind in Glasgow, the years she spent saying yes when she wanted to say no, and the deep work of reconnecting with who she really is.We explore the power of therapy, sobriety, and meditation, and what it truly means to accept yourself - not the version the world sees, but the one you’ve spent a lifetime running from. This conversation is about forgiveness, authenticity, and the quiet strength that comes when you stop pretending and start becoming.Find Lulu:Instagram: @lulukcMore from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: https://juliasamuel.substack.com/ Follow Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: The Samuel Therapy Practice This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties address a listener's question about the challenging nature of therapy. They discuss the misconception of therapy as a 'quick fix' and explain why the therapeutic process can sometimes feel more difficult as buried emotions resurface. The Agony Aunties emphasise the importance of pacing in therapy and the benefits of communicating feelings of overwhelm to one's therapist. They also acknowledge that while therapy can't change certain realities, it can help individuals process their experiences and foster healthier relationships with themselves and others. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Eve shares her deeply personal story of coming out of a 23-year relationship, including 10 years of marriage, which ended in divorce due to not having children. She reflects on the red flags she missed in her youth, the challenges of poor communication, and the emotionally abusive dynamics that developed over time. Despite her loving family and strong support system, Eve grapples with feelings of grief and complexity regarding her ex-husband. She discusses the immense pressure she felt around having a child and how her identity and self-esteem were affected in the process. Ultimately, Eve seeks understanding and a way to move forward, emphasising the importance of being heard, valued, and having open communication in relationships. More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties return to address a listener's concern about potential infidelity, offering advice on distinguishing between anxiety and genuine red flags. The hosts suggest approaches for starting calm and honest conversations with partners, discussing the importance of addressing relationship anxiety, maintaining personal well-being, and considering couples therapy. The episode underscores the value of open communication and exploring underlying relationship issues before jumping to conclusions. More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this powerful and tender conversation, I speak with Olia Hercules - author, chef, and activist - about her journey from Ukraine to the UK and the personal and collective challenges she has faced in recent years. Olia reflects on living with Fragile X syndrome, both in her own life and with her son, and shares the deep psychological impact of the ongoing war in Ukraine. She speaks movingly about the importance of family, culture, and heritage, and how traditions of food, art, and gardening can offer strength and continuity even in times of great upheaval. Her new book, Strong Roots, is both a celebration of family history and a testament to the power of creativity and nourishment as acts of therapy and resistance. Through our conversation, Olia shows how self-care, cultural memory, and connection to the land can sustain us through pain and uncertainty. This is an episode about resilience, belonging, and the healing role of tradition in the most difficult times. Find Olia:Instagram: @oliaherculesBook: https://amzn.eu/d/htX5MKtWebsite: https://oliahercules.com/ More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Agony Aunties tackle a listener's question about managing the stress of a full-time job, parenting two young children, and caring for an ageing parent. They discuss the importance of self-compassion, prioritisation, and setting boundaries without feeling selfish. They suggest considering personal limits and adopting the concept of 'essential maintenance' instead of 'self-care'. Additionally, they emphasise the importance of repairing moments of irritability with children and collaborating with partners to manage household tasks. The episode also references resources such as the 'Motherkind Podcast' and the 'Fair Play' book by Eve Rodsky for better task distribution. More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this fascinating and candid conversation, I speak with Deepa Paul — a Filipino Indian author, mother, wife, and girlfriend about the complexities of love, identity, and open relationships. Deepa shares her experience of a 17-year marriage alongside a 5-year relationship with her boyfriend, reflecting on the different needs these partnerships meet and the honesty required to sustain them. Her book, Ask Me How It Works: Love in an Open Marriage, answers the questions so many are curious about, while challenging misconceptions around polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. We talk about the importance of self-reflection, the “emotional housekeeping” needed to maintain multiple relationships, and the courage it takes to live authentically in the face of cultural expectations and societal judgment. Deepa’s story is one of resilience, curiosity, and a deep commitment to love in its many forms. This is a conversation about freedom, boundaries, and what it really means to build relationships with integrity and care. Find Deepa: Instagram: @storiesbydeepa Book: https://amzn.eu/d/2xGUhRI Website: https://www.storiesbydeepa.com/ More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode, we address a listener's question on how to talk to children about parental separation. Their answer covers the importance of having the initial conversation together as a family, being honest and age-appropriate, avoiding blame, and reassuring children about the changes and constants in their lives. Key points include practicing the conversation in advance, maintaining a unified narrative, and providing ongoing support. Resources like Cafcass, Gingerbread, and Family Lives are suggested for further support. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices