Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In Part 3 of our anger series, we talk about the kind of anger that shows up after the relationship ends, when there’s more space, more clarity, and for a lot of people, a brutal realization of what you actually lived through. This is the anger that confuses you because you wanted peace. You thought leaving would automatically bring closure. But instead, your mind starts connecting dots: the patterns, the lies, the lost time, the double standard, the after...
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Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In Part 3 of our anger series, we talk about the kind of anger that shows up after the relationship ends, when there’s more space, more clarity, and for a lot of people, a brutal realization of what you actually lived through. This is the anger that confuses you because you wanted peace. You thought leaving would automatically bring closure. But instead, your mind starts connecting dots: the patterns, the lies, the lost time, the double standard, the after...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In Part 3 of our anger series, we talk about the kind of anger that shows up after the relationship ends, when there’s more space, more clarity, and for a lot of people, a brutal realization of what you actually lived through. This is the anger that confuses you because you wanted peace. You thought leaving would automatically bring closure. But instead, your mind starts connecting dots: the patterns, the lies, the lost time, the double standard, the after...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Today’s episode is a re-release of one of Paige’s favorite Paige’s Perspective episodes, Even If - brought back with a new intro by Matt. This conversation gets to the heart of something we talk about often at TWFO: the difference between living in “what if” and learning how to live in “even if.” “What if” thinking keeps us stuck in fear, scanning the future for danger and trying to predict outcomes we can’t control. “Even if” shifts the focus back t...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this Mindset Monday, Matt talks about a gap in the recovery world that almost nobody wants to name: families are expected to learn everything about addiction, but addicts are rarely required to learn the same depth about the damage addiction causes on the other side. This episode breaks down what “support” actually looks like when trust has been destroyed by lying, gaslighting, hidden use, infidelity, or financial chaos. Matt explains why empathy is not...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Many partners expect relief when sobriety begins. Instead, they may feel confused, guilty, and angry when everything is finally going well. In this episode, Matt and Paige explore why anger often surfaces months or even years into recovery, not during the chaos itself. They break down how survival mode suppresses emotion, why the brain protects relationships through betrayal blindness, and how safety is often what allows buried feelings to finally emerge. ...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Most partners think they’re “holding someone accountable,” but what they’re really doing is chasing accountability, forcing awareness, and slipping into shaming without realizing it. This episode cuts through all of that. Paige breaks down the difference between identity attacks and behavior statements, why shame can be a driver for change but shaming never works, and how to communicate in a way that aligns with your values even when the person you’re talk...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this Mindset Monday, Matt gets real about why the holidays are a pressure cooker for people in recovery and for the families who love them. He shares hard personal memories from his last Christmas in active addiction and his first Christmas sober, and breaks down the three stages of relapse, emotional, mental, and physical, so you can catch a slip long before a drink ever hits your hand. You will hear simple rules for getting through parties, travel, an...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this first episode of our three part anger series, we talk about what anger really is when you are still with someone in active addiction or someone sober, but unhealed. Anger is not a flaw to fix or a sign that you are the problem. It is a mobilizing, revolutionary emotion that is trying to tell you that you are not safe, that your values are being violated, and that you cannot keep living like this. We break down the difference between anger and aggre...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this Mindset Monday, Matt sits down with the questions men usually ask in private. These are the messages he gets from guys in crisis who are trying to get sober, repair their marriage, and figure out what it actually means to be a good man. We'll go rapid fire through questions like: • “Why do I have to be the one to change first?” • “If I am sober, why is she still angry?” • “How long is she supposed to stay mad after I apologized?” ...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this Paige’s Perspective, I talk about something I see online all the time. There is a lot of content that normalizes staying stuck. People laugh about being overwhelmed or blame survival mode for how they treat others, and it removes the accountability that actually creates change. I share my own experience with anxiety, panic disorder, depression, OCD, and the season this summer when I slipped back into survival mode. I explain how I decided to treat ...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode Matt breaks down why people struggling with addiction and people in relationships with addicts keep their standards low and stay stuck in the same cycles. He explains why so many men fear success more than failure, why sobriety feels terrifying even when you know you can do it, and how comfort becomes the enemy of long-term recovery. Matt shares his own story of keeping the bar on the floor for years and how Paige’s unrelenting standards fo...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We live in a world that is obsessed with asking, “Why am I like this?” and “Why are they like this?” Trauma, childhood wounds, addiction, nervous systems, attachment. All important pieces of the puzzle. But at some point, just understanding the why stops moving your life forward. It can quietly turn into a hall pass for staying stuck. In this episode, Matt and Paige talk about the missing piece in so many trauma and addiction conversations. The how. How do...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! If you’ve been stuck in your head replaying old memories, planning out future disasters, or living on autopilot, this one’s for you. This week I sat down at my drum set and, for the first time in a while, felt my brain quiet down and my body wake up. It reminded me how powerful presence really is. In this short episode, we talk about getting out of your head, dropping into the moment, and why doing something that makes you feel alive can shift your entire ...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Replay. Originally aired in July 2024. We’re bringing this back because the tools here (resilience, boundaries, timelines, and real talk about equal partnership) stay relevant. This is an episode designed more like a charcuterie board than a main course. We discuss Independently Strong because we don't think we've really ever done a great job at communicating what it's about and the value to someone in a relationship with a person struggling with addiction...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Addictive traits aren't bugs, they're features. When I first got sober, I was terrified I’d become boring. No more adrenaline. No more chaos. Just… normal life.I thought I’d be the “square dad” mowing the lawn in tucked-in polos while everyone else was still out living. What I learned was the opposite. Addiction didn’t kill my personality, it just hijacked it. The same intensity, obsession, and risk-taking that once burned my life down are now the same tra...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Paige opens up about one of the most powerful questions she’s ever asked herself: “Why not me?” In this raw and empowering episode, she shares how that simple question pulled her out of self-doubt and helped her become the woman she never thought she could be. A leader. A podcaster. A motivator. Someone who keeps showing up even when it’s uncomfortable. This isn’t about perfection or pretending to have it all together. It’s about remembering that change do...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode, Matt and Paige take a deep dive into the difference between coping and healing. From self-care routines to emotional boundaries, they explore how coping can be both a bridge and a trap—necessary for survival but not meant to last forever. They share personal stories about burnout, triggers, and stress, discuss concepts like allostatic load and polyvagal theory, and offer real-world examples of when it’s time to stop managing chaos and star...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Rehab is a reset, not a miracle. In this straight talk Q&A, Matt answers the questions we hear most from spouses, partners, and people heading to treatment. What actually happens day to day, how detox works, why some centers involve family and others do not, what to expect while they are inside, what to plan for after discharge, and the red flags that predict a quick return to old patterns. You will hear Matt’s 30 day inpatient experience, the lessons ...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode, Paige gets real about something she’s noticed in the healing and recovery space: the temptation to use growth language as a weapon. When we finally find words for our pain, it can feel powerful; but if we start using those words to shame, prove, or control others, we’ve missed the point. Paige unpacks what weaponizing content looks like, how it happens on both sides of addiction, and what healthy communication sounds like instead. Fi...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This week we’re taking a short break from recording and revisiting a powerful episodes from mid 2024, Separate the Behaviors from the Addiction. How much should you focus on the substance? To what degree is the substance responsible for someone's behavior? Is it easier to forgive someone's bad behavior because they're addicted? Should compassion for a struggling addict or alcoholic overshadow your needs for an equal partner, or for honesty in a relat...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This one’s for both sides of the table - the person who’s sober but still hiding, and the partner who’s done begging for honesty. If you’re trying to rebuild, this is how we did it. If you’ve already walked away, this may remind you why you made that choice. I break down what it actually took to open up, how we both hold space for each other, and rebuilt trust from ashes - not illusion. In this episode I break down how I ventured into the great unkno...
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In Part 3 of our anger series, we talk about the kind of anger that shows up after the relationship ends, when there’s more space, more clarity, and for a lot of people, a brutal realization of what you actually lived through. This is the anger that confuses you because you wanted peace. You thought leaving would automatically bring closure. But instead, your mind starts connecting dots: the patterns, the lies, the lost time, the double standard, the after...
