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For the cost conscious in these difficult times, an entirely free half-hour of unbeatable entertainment as we wave goodbye to 2025's dodgy mic!
and Jazz Jamaica Allstars szhuszhi the whole thing up for you...
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Kelner's post-Christmas message is: 'stick it where the sun don't shine, King Prince Charles'.
plus late news just in, on the Sun King, Louis XlV, who died in 1715....and how many pie awards are there, and why aren't they televised?
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Trump misreads the room, Salt Path, Dick Van Dyke at 100, Sir Cliff, & Gary Lineker.
Plus the late great Sam Kydd.
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Why Liz Truss can kiss my arse - & tidings of comfort and joy, which you won't get from her.
Also: I was on a Manchester United podcast, I've been ill, and a foretaste of our special Christmas show...
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Mad as hell, & I'm not going to take it any more. Plus Artie Shaw, and the genius of Ethan Hawke as Lorenz Hart in the film Blue Moon...
...and Farage, the racism/anti-Semitism charge will stick. I'm confident Britain will not allow you to become Prime Minister.
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You heard it here first; Kemi triumph, new King Prince Charles conspiracy theory, the joy of Mark Watson, Larry David...
...and Sutton Coldfield v Wilmslow, who'd win a posh-off.
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Giddyup! This one's full of meaty goodness & free for everybody, with an invitation to subscribe to Martin's rewiring fund. Don't forget to do that before you set off on your Caribbean cruise.
Plus the 'joys' of Great Yarmouth, and what it has in common with Shanghai...
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1960s pirate radio; jingles & Dora Dale's take. Also Michael Aspel, 92, Dick Van Dyke, nearly 100, but Brutus the Hippo, dead at 47 after a lifetime eating and fucking...
plus eating cornflakes quietly in Norfolk, and killer impersonation of Terry Wogan.
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Take a look at life with Kelner - into a world of villainy...
...including Hitler (again), Mike Graham, a big Italian dog, and Naga Munchetty
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Abba Voyage, the verdict, polycules, Trump's pompadour, and the day I bought a flick knife...
Plus the French had wild man Johnny Hallyday, we had Cliff!
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Purple cauliflower, horses copulating, chopped liver, beauty contests, and they live like pigs - Pinky & Perky
Plus, where do I see myself in ten years' time - probably not lying next to Oscar Wilde & Jim Morrison
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The tragedy of Hollywood kids, Kelner 'sings,' Marlene's many lovers, and do left wing males treat their partners worse than right wingers?
Plus the genus of legendary award-nominated quiz How Old Cary Grant?
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Paula Vennells - we remember - plus a reminder of Naga Munchetty Marmite disaster, blue denim shirt in death shock horror, and the complete joy of Warwick Davies
Content, loads of it, that's what we're creating, and don't bother looking for the end of the flamingo story, we didn't quite get there
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Andy Windsor, General Franco, James Corden, and other tyrants...
...including my grandson. And tales of red wine and urine-soaked jeans. It's fun, fun, fun till my daddy takes my T-bird away.
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The Kennedys - America's royal family; ours meanwhile still in the mire! And blonde bombshells; Brigitte, Marilyn, & Nicole...
Plus massive recruitment drive for full-fat subscription holders risks losing audience through boredom - but we have to give it a go, we don't have a collection box!
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Wildlife special! Red squirrels, Zizi the elephant, & why do so many politicians look like they're there after winning a competition.
...and not particularly by popular demand, the return of Edouard LaPaglié.
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Paddington Bear, Captain Pugwash, Heinrich Himmler - this Substack covers a lot of ground.
plus naked butlers and Sumo Beatles.
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What to admire in Prince Andrew, Cosy Crime & Head Cheese...
Plus Death by Pickleball...
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Meet El Shmucko! Scamsters strike, toilet encounter with Dana, and Jane Austen, it's all bonnets and tits.
Plus a protracted whinge about the uselessness of Lloyds Bank, and Soylent Green - it's nicer than the retirement communities they advertise on GB News.
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Children's hospital, giant thermometer, & 'a gazeteer of al fresco fornication'
This is a taster really of today's podcast, in which several stories are started and not finished (no change there, then)
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