Before we get into this, I want to name why this episode exists.
A while back, I interviewed
Molly Roden Winter about her book More. It became one of the most listened-to episodes of this show. Not because it was shocking—but because it challenged something people quietly assume they’re not allowed to question.
While I was reading the book, I kept thinking about one thing: I want to hear this from the other side.
This episode is that conversation.
This is me talking with Stewart Winter, Molly’s husband, about what it’s actually like to live inside a relationship that refuses to default to the script. Not theoretically. Not philosophically. Practically.
We talk about intensity. About choosing a partner who doesn’t make you comfortable—but makes you honest. About the difference between expanding a relationship and escaping one. And about how people use concepts like “open-mindedness” to avoid reckoning with their own limits.
This isn’t an episode about monogamy versus non-monogamy.
It’s about what happens when you stop outsourcing your choices to culture—and start owning the consequences of the life you build.
Listen carefully. Because the real question underneath all of this isn’t what kind of relationship do you want.
It’s whether you’re willing to tolerate the version of yourself that your relationship requires.
A couple of months ago, I interviewed New York Times bestselling author, Molly Roden Winter. Her book, “More: A Memoir of Open Marriage” documents her journey as a Brooklyn Mom who ventures into the world of polyamory, as she opens her marriage.
My interview with her sparked such a buzz from listeners — more than any other episode of WNTT. It’s linked below if you haven’t listened.
I just re-read her book while I was on a vacation and I have to tell you, about every 50 pages I found myself taken aback by how well her husband Stewart navigated their experience. He was repeatedly in situations where there were five wrong ways of responding to things, and in my opinion, he consistently landed on the right one.
Was he lucky? Or has he actually been taught relationship skills?
Those were the answers I wanted, so I invited him to join me.
Stewart Winter did not disappoint.
CREDITS
This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.
Link to Molly’s book: More: A Memoir of Open Marriage
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