What the HELL Were You Thinking is officially on hiatus until mid March 2026 while Dave recharges his batteries (and completes some court ordered personal betterment.) We thank all of you who have been with us for over ten years, you made the journey a joy. Watch this space for further announcements, even if those announcements are requesting the whereabouts of of the host. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 430: Carl’s Worst Christmas Ever and Other Holiday Tales This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries some amazing eggnog some guy’s brother made with  lighter fluid and starts telling stories. (Again) For our annual “Jesus, is it Christmas already?” episode, we dig into the vaults of Dave’s Brain to bring you lurid tales of Christmas’ gone wrong in every way possible. Be they marital infidelity, public masturbation or a singularly misfortunate ornament mishap, someone is not having a happy holiday. (This is why Dave doesn’t get invited to story hours at the library.) So gather your family around the fire (I mean the adult family, leave kids watching their Youtube or whatever) pour yourselves something from a bottle being passed around and get ready for stories of people having a MUCH worse Christmas than you are! Our sponsor this week is the Holiday Ornament Safety Council who remind you that decorations go on the tree, not inside you.  We open with a heartwarming family gathering and close with Lord Weatherby who is freaking out. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music:https://youtu.be/T7OBPvc9ddA?si=dtGOwiq-8t-HRzSz We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Citations Needed: 18 Christmas Disasters That'll Make You Feel Bad For Laughing https://www.buzzfeed.com/beckybarnicoat/christmas-disasters People Tell Us Their Worst Christmas Horror Stories https://www.vice.com/en/article/jgmm5p/people-tell-us-their-worst-christmas-horror-stories 24 Christmas disasters to make you feel better about burning the turkey, from poisoned guests to 7,000 acres of fire damage https://www.countrylife.co.uk/food-drink/24-christmas-disasters-make-feel-better-burning-turkey-poisoned-guests-7000-acres-fire-damage-209545 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 343: Frosty the Snow Ho (Redux) This week, Host Dave Bledsoe is basically phoning it in so he can get on with the business of his Christmas Bender.  (You probably won’t be able to notice anything different)  On the show this week, we take a look at some of the bizarre and inexplicable Christmas specials that taught us that sharing special times with family is the true meaning of Christmas.  (And to buy whatever junk they were plugging in the special.) Along the way we learn that Dave is not only a bad son, he is a really shitty uncle too!  (Shocked?  Don’t be.) Then we dive right into the strange and questionable television offerings that have “entertained” kids for decades.  (Yes, we mention the Star Wars special, but it is hardly the only one out there.)  From Eternia to 75 million years before the Reason for the Season was ostensibly born in a stable, we pick at all the logical flaws and blatant commercialism we can find.  Finally, we wrap up with REAL Holiday specials, with heartwarming themes like gangbags and sodomy!  (Because spending time with the ones you love, or the ones you love for about an hour is what Christmas is really about!) Our Sponsor this week is the Elvish Liberation Front, from the North Pole to the Keebler Tree, we won’t stop until every elf is free.  We open with Han and Chewie and close with the Universal Robot Band getting funky for Christmas! Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/7NEnSkpbmCY We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Citations Needed: The Gay Subtext of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer https://www.vulture.com/2016/12/rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeers-gay-subtext.html The 16 Worst Christmas Specials of All Time https://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/12/the_16_worst_christmas_specials_of_all_time_1.php Fright Christmas: 15 Horrifying Kids Holiday Specials https://www.cbr.com/horrifying-kids-christmas-specials/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 515: Sodas In Spaaaaace! This week Host Dave Bledsoe got liquored up on orange flavored Metamucil and vodka and got kicked out of a retirement village bingo game. (Again) On the show this week we head back to 1985 when the Cola Wars took off for low orbit because Coke and Pepsi had money to burn. Along the way we learn that Dave never stood a chance at NASA. (They didn’t make space suits in 5XL) Then we dive right into what the first astronauts ate in space. (Goo, they ate goo.) Then we head back down to the Earth where a Coca Cola executive had an idea that was out of this world, and how it turned into yet another vicious skirmish in the long running and increasingly bitter “cola wars”. We learn how Coke spent a quarter of a million dollars and Pepsi opened their medicine cabinet.  Finally we discover why sodas crashed and burned like a solid rocket booster in chilly weather.  (Too soon?). Our Sponsor this week is Tap Water, if you’re thirsty get some.  We open the show with Coke in space and close with astronaut Chris Hadfield singing out sitting in a tin can. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/AfEng898uRA?si=JGyjlv-GQ_D-4Q4Z Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Fallout from the Unauthorized Gemini III Space Sandwich https://www.nasa.gov/history/fallout-from-the-unauthorized-gemini-iii-space-sandwich/ How would fizzy drinks behave in space? https://www.sciencefocus.com/science/how-would-fizzy-drinks-behave-in-space The First Soda in Space: When NASA Got Caught Up in the Cola Wars https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/29/science/coke-pepsi-nasa-space-shuttle.html?unlocked_article_code=1.6E8.TPFd.7B7gLuAuHrDA&smid=url-share 'Space cola wars' at 35: When Coca-Cola, Pepsi tested soda in space https://www.collectspace.com/news/news-081120a-space-cola-wars-35-years.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 340: We’re Wall to Wall and Tree Top Tall This week Host Dave Bledsoe is coming down out of Hog Town in a Thirteen Letter Shit Spreader hauling Go-Go Girls on the Dance Floor bound for Bingo Town, only to discover that no one has a single fucking clue what he is saying when he talks like that.  (Not an uncommon event.) On the show this week, we climb into the cabs of our big rigs and take you back to the days when the Asphalt Cowboys captured America’s heart and everyone had a CB radio in their Pontiacs.  Along the way we learn that Dave thought he would be a Big Rig Driver because he liked the hats, until he learned he would need to park the damn things.  From there we dive right into the strange cultural moment in the 1970’s when everyone in America talked like a truck driver.  (What a bunch of Bucket Mouths) We find out how a combination of gas prices and not being able to drive 55 made the men (and they were almost all men) on the road big damn heroes because of some commercials for white bread  (Yeah, this story goes in some unexpected directions.) Our Sponsor this week is Pappy’s Pep Pills, we swear they ain’t speed (wink wink) We open the show with NPR and close with Phil and Shawn talking about BJ and the Bear. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/pX5XB_MOVfA We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 87: Thanksgiving In Hell Total Redux This week host Dave Bledsoe found himself in Federal Custody after getting shitfaced in an Irish bar and loudly demanding he wants to be deported to Ireland.  (Note, he is not actually FROM Ireland but he thought he would give it a try.) On the show this week we dug deep into the vaults to pull out an ancient but seasonally appropriate show, dusted off some of the references and hope you wouldn’t notice we did it years ago. Along the way we discover that no one in Dave’s family misses him at holiday dinners at all. (Or any other time of the year.) Then we dive right into how to get through Thanksgiving Dinner without killing a distant relative.  (Weed, the answer is weed.) Then we cover in painful details all the ways to WIN a fight with your relatives at your Thanksgiving Dinner. (Fight dirty.)  Our Sponsor this week is Distractors, punch the button, stop the fight before it starts. We open the show with a typical American holiday dinner and close with Flula who does not want you to call it a comeback. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/G-VM5wqzhWY?si=bLw7aKYGno689VRx Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 259: “We’re Not Gonna Take It” This week Host Dave Bledsoe puts a Twisted Sister pin on his uniform and drunkenly shouts at himself in the bathroom mirror just to feel like someone else is with him.  (The man is desperately lonely and drinking too much.  You know, just normal Dave stuff)  On the show this week we travel back to 1985 to examine the Parents Music Resource Council, an issue so unimportant and trivial to the modern context that it should distract you for a good half hour from all the crazy shit in the world.  (You’re welcome) Along the way we meet the White Wives of Washington who decided it was their job to censor artists.  (They were the Karen’s of the 1980s)  We introduce to you to each of the Filthy Fifteen the list of songs the PMRC deemed so vile and offensive that children must be protected from them at all cost.  (God forbid they learned about getting off from Cyndi Lauper!)  We hear from the artists who defended the list, even though some of the Metal songs are just BAD songs. (Not evil, just really  poorly written.)  Finally, we learn why Tipper Gore felt it was SO important we have warning labels on music.  (Hint, it was so parents didn’t need to talk to their kids.) Our Sponsor this week is Columbia House Records, who want you to know they are back and they are coming for what they are owed.  We open the show with Dee Snider getting real with the Senate and close with Sunkissed Music being adorably rebellious! Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-senseThe Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_PodcastThe Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4 www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/WhatthehellpodcastThe Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/3fCaxOBBPQo Citations Needed: Parental Advisory Forever: An Oral History of the PMRC’s War on Dirty Lyrics https://www.newsweek.com/2015/10/09/oral-history-tipper-gores-war-explicit-rock-lyrics-dee-snider-373103.html The Filthy Fifteen: Censorship, Gore And The “Parental Advisory” Sticker https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/filthy-fifteen-pmrc-censorship/ The Tipper Sticker at 30: The Most Entertaining (and Least Effective) Attempt at Censorship in Rock History https://www.kqed.org/pop/18111/the-tipper-sticker-at-30-the-most-entertaining-and-least-effective-attempt-at-censorship-in-rock-history Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 514: Brooks Brothers Riot, Daddy O Part 2 of the 2000 Election This week Host Dave Bledsoe tried crashing a corporate mixer for the open bar only to be quickly discovered because he was wearing a neck tie over an "Female Body Inspector” t-shirt. (Again) On the show this week we head back to the 2000 Election and the court case that elected a President. Along the way we discover Dave thought he might be a lawyer some day! (As opposed to constantly NEEDING a lawyer like today.) Then we dive into a short history of why we have a Supreme Court. (It turns out to make a President into a king 250 years later.) Then we rejoin our election lawsuits already in progress.  We watch the campaigns spend ungodly amounts of money on lawyers as they wind through the judicial system.  We meet the Brooks Brothers Mafia, a group of GOP Nerds who staged a little protest.  Then we head to the place this was always going to be determined, Washington DC for a partisan Supreme Court decision that damned America! Our Sponsor this week is My Little Lawyer children’s clothing, dress for the job you want them to have when they grow up! We open the show with a recap of the story so far and close with Somesing who wants you boys to break it up! Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/FPysALpIQlM?si=OkxNai_AVy9Slkmp Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Bush leads Gore by 327 votes in Florida recount, Associated Press reports https://www.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/stories/11/10/election.president.02/ Presidency Hinges on Tiny Bits of Paper https://cseweb.ucsd.edu/~goguen/courses/275f00/abc-chads.html So, who really won? What the Bush v. Gore studies showed https://edition.cnn.com/2015/10/31/politics/bush-gore-2000-election-results-studies Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 513: Ballot With Butterfly Wings Part 1 of the 2020 Election This week host Dave Bledsoe got kicked out of an Andrew Cuomo election rally for constantly drunkenly screaming “Andy, let’s go pick up some bitches!” (Again) On the show this week we turn the clock back twenty five years to the election that broke America. (We could have had a Lockbox!) Along the way we learn that Dave voted for Ralph Nader. (What an asshole) Then we dig into why we have an Electoral College. (Slavery.) From there we meet the men who were vying to lead the country into the 21st Century, one a boring politician and the other a dumbass fratboy with a drinking problem and a famous last name. From there we head to Florida for an explanation of why Florida is like it is. (Weird, filled with old people and alligators).  We discuss the election night faux pas that left the media with egg on its face and shit in their nickers. Then we take a listen to the recently discovered recording of Al Gore’s retracted concession speech to George W Bush. Our Sponsor this week is Ballot Express, when you need to rig an election fast, you need Ballot Express.  We open with a painfully young Jon Stewart FINALLY calling the 2020 Election and close with Joel Goguen who has anger issues. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/sNYJ5ELTxBM?si=_hmhHHaK-cCTvf4M Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: THE 2000 CAMPAIGN: THE POLLS; Poll Shows Either Candidate Within Reach of Victory https://www.nytimes.com/2000/11/06/us/the-2000-campaign-the-polls-poll-shows-either-candidate-within-reach-of-victory.html The Florida Recount Of 2000: A Nightmare That Goes On Haunting https://www.npr.org/2018/11/12/666812854/the-florida-recount-of-2000-a-nightmare-that-goes-on-haunting Contested presidential elections Bush v. Gore https://millercenter.org/contested-presidential-elections/bush-v-gore Election night has been a big media event since electric lights first announced the winner in 1892 https://theconversation.com/election-night-has-been-a-big-media-event-since-electric-lights-first-announced-the-winner-in-1892-148413 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 512: Granny Are You OK? Part 4 of Spooktacular 2025 This week Host Dave Bledsoe was arrested for setting up a moonshine still next to the Loch in Central Park, he claimed he was merely celebrating his people’s culture.  (Sure, Dave) On the show this week we wrap up Spooktacular 2025 99 Problems But A Witch Ain’t One with America’s own Granny Witches!  Along the way we discover Dave’s complicated relationship with his grandmother. (It’s complicated) Then we head over to Northern Ireland for only LOOKS like a digression, before heading back to the New World with the folks that used to live in Northern Ireland.  We follow the Scotch Irish as they head west into the mountains and create a culture that is both complex and fully hillbilly. Then jump ahead to modernity where some people pretend they know how to cure the gout with a hogs tooth and henbane. (Use rectally) Finally we wrap up the entire Spooktacular with Dave explaining in fact, a witch WAS one of his ninety-nine problems. Our Sponsor this week is Cleetus and Boggs Holler Real Estate, don’t dig a new hole where the old outhouse was, you call Cleetus and Boggs.  We open with Liz Pardue talking Holler Magick and close with Van Izak who knows it’s strictly taboo.  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/evxVrtftylU?si=X1EUVLDzYCdqxZ7J Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Appalachian Folk Magic: Generations of “Granny Witchcraft” and Spiritual Work https://folklife.si.edu/magazine/appalachian-folk-magic Byron Ballard keeps Appalachian folk magic practices alive https://mountainx.com/living/wellness/byron-ballard-keeps-appalachian-folk-magic-practices-alive/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 511: Something Wiccan This Way Comes Part 3 of Spooktacular 2025 This week Host Dave Bledsoe was arrested at the Lizard Lounge in Bohemia for getting hammered, stripping off all his clothes and proclaiming he was performing Witchy Woman by the Eagles “skyclad”. (Again) On the show this week we look at the state of modern witchcraft when we talk about the Wiccans. Along the way we learn that Dave DID try not be a godless heathen. (Just not very hard.) Then we dive right into that time the Romans did some Roman shit to people in what would become Wales. (Somehow, this IS relevant) before coming back to talk about an English Post Clerk who decided that pretending to believe in witchcraft might get him laid. (Unfair and untrue, Gerald was probably ACE) Then we follow the rise of Wicca as a religion as it spread around the world in the 70s until it exploded in the late 90s. (Alyson Hannigan was just so damn cute!) We explain how Wicca got popular then Hollywood made it suck and how Wicca is today.  Finally, Dave explains why he isn’t a Wiccan. (They kicked him out of the coven for being too eager to get Skyclad.) Our Sponsor this week is Coven FInder,because a coven of one isn’t a coven at all! We open with Nat Geo explaining Wicca and close with Liam St John is risking himself with the Three Fold Law. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/7yDf0nYJCf4?si=YOka_JgYWuWRl1Bz Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: The Consequences Roman Contact Had on British Religion https://druidry.org/resources/the-consequences-roman-contact-had-on-british-religion What is Wicca? A Beginner’s Guide to the Wiccan Religion https://wiccaliving.com/what-is-wicca/ Wiccan Views on Sex https://discover.hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Wicca-For-Beginners-Wiccan-Views-on-Sex Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 510: “Smack My Witch Up” Part Two of Spooktacular 2025 This week Host Dave Bledsoe got drunk and lost in a Haunted Corn Maze and terrified an entire Church Group when he stumbled out without any pants. (Again) On the show this week the Spooktacular takes us to witch panics and trials throughout history. (Modern included) Along the way we learn Dave considered himself a victim of witch hunt because he was accused of trying to sleep with college age women. (Which he was definitely doing.) Then we move right into the Protestant Reformation, which reformed Europe into a WHOLE bunch of brutality wars. (Not that they needed an excuse.) Then we dig into how random old women with skin conditions were accused of sexual liaisons with demons all over Europe and America.  (Warts are a demon turn on) We turn to the colonies to learn how and why Salem was a hot bed of witch activity and why it stopped. (Religion and Money.  Spoiler alert.) Finally we examine the status of witch hunts today. Our Sponsor this week is Turgidson and Smythe, Barristers of Witches, for not every hag is, in truth, a witch. We open the show with a visit from the Witchfinder and close with The Gitarinet Duo who are disciplinarians.  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/s7oxOEa4ZbY?si=lKswHO7E6b4uRq6k Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Witchcraft and the Reformation https://tudorblogger.com/2013/05/02/witchcraft-and-the-reformation-2/ Wikipedia: Witch Hunt https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_hunt The ‘Malleus Maleficarum’: Ancient book offers ways to identify a witch https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/malleus-maleficarum-ancient-books-offers-ways-identify-witch/B5PRVNGF3BF2JAPEEC4YRM6HGE/ A brief and true narrative of some remarkable passages relating to sundry persons afflicted by witchcraft at Salem village, which happened from the nineteenth of March to the fifth of April, 1692 collected by Deodat Lawson. https://quod.lib.umich.edu/e/eebo/A49794.0001.001/?view=toc SALEM WITCHCRAFT TRIALS: THE PERCEPTION OF WOMEN IN HISTORY, LITERATURE AND CULTURE http://facta.junis.ni.ac.rs/lal/lal201001/lal201001-01.pdf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 509: Shaman Me? Shaman You! This week Host Dave Bledsoe visited the Old Wise Woman at the edge of the village for herbs that would help him experience enlightenment.  (Meaning he bought some weed at an unlicensed dispensary.) Along the way we learn that Dave was scared by an old lesbian when he was a kid.  (Lesbians are nothing to be afraid of!) Then we dive right in by dispelling some myths about the matriarchy.  From there we explore the role of the shaman in pre-history and how they were much more than just some dudes with horned masks and good weed. (A lot of them had shrooms as well!) We discuss how the tribal shaman became the village healer once humanity settled down to an agrarian lifestyle and how important they were in society for over a thousand years.  We wrap up with why they went from a vital part of rural life to demonic sin peddlers.  (Yep, it was capitalism!) Our Sponsor this week is the Herb Hut, don’t cast your spells without us! We open with Christine O’Donnell who wants us to know she isn’t a witch and close with Armen Chakmakjian who wonders if maybe she is.  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1 Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: The Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/first/e/eller-myth.html The Evidence of Shamanism Rituals in Early Prehistoric Periods of Europe and Anatolia https://dergipark.org.tr/tr/download/article-file/1715302 History of magic in Western worldviews https://www.britannica.com/topic/magic-supernatural-phenomenon/History-of-magic-in-Western-worldviews What is Cunning Craft and who are Cunning Folk? https://medium.com/@crystalcavendish/what-is-cunning-craft-and-who-are-cunning-folk-993102962a01 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 284-285 Redux Mega-Mix “The Rendlesham Forest UFO Incident” We are off this week prepping for Spooktacular 2025 so enjoy this double episode megamix from 2020 about that time in the 80s some Air Force cops lied about seeing a UFO to cover their asses after getting caught fucking around on post. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1 Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed:  Rendlesham Forest Incident https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rendlesham_Forest_incident New Light on Rendlesham https://drdavidclarke.co.uk/secret-files/secret-files-4/ The Rendlesham Forest UFO Case http://www.ianridpath.com/ufo/rendlesham.htm The Rendlesham Forest UFO Case by Ian Ridpath http://www.ianridpath.com/ufo/rendlesham.htm New Light on Rendlesham https://drdavidclarke.co.uk/secret-files/secret-files-4/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 508: “John’s Detachable Penis” This week Host Dave Bledsoe woke up screaming after a bender to find a red mess and half a weiner on his lap, only to discover he passed out while eating a hot dog. (What kind of monster puts ketchup on a hot dog?) On the show this week we discuss a similar situation that ended much worse, we talk about John Bobbitt’s detached penis and why Americans thought it was funny! Along the way we discover all the ways Dave has been a disappointment to the women in his life. (Starting with his Mom) Then we dive right in clarifying the difference between regular old castration and emasculation. (Never say we don’t tackle the hard topics!) Then we met John and Lorena, a couple of kids, who met, fell in love and discovered that was a really BAD idea.  After delicately weaving around some fairly gruesome subjects we arrive at why Americans thought a dude’s dong landing in a 7-11 parking lot was so funny. (We are terrible people) Then we wrap up with something that might be considered a metaphor for modern times. Our Sponsor this week is Total Package Protection, never have a penis without it. We open with Eddie Murphy (again) talking about why dick threats aren’t funny and close with Dr Bootyu Quiver who is looking for something. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1 Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Lorena Bobbitt and John Bobbitt: The True Story Behind The Case That Played Out Like a Soap Opera https://www.insideedition.com/lorena-bobbitt-and-john-bobbitt-true-story-behind-case-played-out-soap-opera-50706 You Know the Lorena Bobbitt Story. But Not All of It. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/30/arts/television/lorena-bobbitt-documentary-jordan-peele.html John Bobbitt speaks out 25 years after wife infamously cut off his penis: 'I want people to understand… the whole story' https://abcnews.go.com/US/john-bobbitt-speaks-25-years-wife-infamously-cut/story?id=60023049 Letterman Top 10 1994 https://www.oocities.org/jaylipp/Letterman/topten94.html Severance Pay https://www.maryellenmark.com/bibliography/magazines/article/people/severence-pay-637521259802825072/P He's not wounded by the humor https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1993/12/21/he-s-not-wounded-by-the-humor/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spooktacular 2025 kicks off in October! All month long we talk about Witches! The good ones, the bad ones, the ones who dress all sexy and drive Dave wild! So join us for a month of MORE WITCHES than you could imagine for Spooktacular 2025! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 507; Tito Get Me Some Tissue This week Host Dave Bledsoe passed out at a petting zoo and woke up making out with a llama.  (It was the closest he came to getting laid in years.) On the show this week take a look at the oddities and eccentricities of the King of Pop .  (Yes, we DO talk about THAT, but we do not make any jokes.) Along the way we discover that Dave was not the most bullied kid in school. (Only because of that one kid that ate other people’s boogers.) Then we dive into a short history of musicians behaving badly from Mozart's poop poems to Jerry Lee Lewis trying to kill Elvis.  Then we pick up with Michael as his career cools off and people start to notice how weird he is. (Like who wears one glove?) We follow along as Mike collects animal\ friends, builds an amusement park, turns white and gets a new nose every two years. (We guess he was leasing?) Then we discuss his dating, his marriage, and finally that other thing he allegedly did. (But probably definitely did) Before we wrap up with his sad but predictably bizarre ending. Our Sponsor this week is Ron’s Rhinoplasty, don’t like the nose on your face, get a new one to take its place.  We open with MJ being mad at Ed and close with Eve St Jones who wants to hear what you have to say. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/s4VORb6BSt0?si=Bw-u0uyIxQh6KgSx Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Five of the Craziest Classical Composers https://www.tumblr.com/thestarvingpianist/137229986238/five-of-the-craziest-classical-composers The Mayo Clinic: Vitiligo https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vitiligo/symptoms-causes/syc-20355912 Why Freddie Mercury never finished three duets with Michael Jackson — and it involves a llama: ‘The last straw’ https://nypost.com/2025/04/28/entertainment/why-freddie-mercury-never-finished-3-duets-with-michael-jackson-it-involves-a-llama/ Inside Michael Jackson's zoo of horrors - giraffes on fire and bear in bumper car https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/inside-michael-jacksons-zoo-horrors-26809558 Center for Great Apes: Bubbles https://centerforgreatapes.org/chimpanzee/bubbles/ Surgeon: Michael Jackson A 'Nasal Cripple' https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Cosmetic/story?id=131910&page=1 Lisa Marie Presley was engaged 5 times and married 4 times. Here is what to know about her relationships with Michael Jackson, Nicolas Cage and other husbands. https://www.businessinsider.com/lisa-marie-presley-marriages-michael-jackson-nicolas-cage-danny-keough-2023-1 Wikipedia: Philanthropy of Michael Jackson https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philanthropy_of_Michael_Jackson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 506: Shamone Now This week Host Dave Bledsoe won third prize in a “Moonwalking” competition when he lost his balance trying to get up to take a piss and stumbled backward across the stage. (It was a $10 Gift Certificate to Hardees) On the show this week it is part one of a two part show about the biggest pop star of the 80s, Michael Bolton. (We kid, we are talking about Michael Jackson!) Along the way we find out that Dave once thought he was gay because he accidentally liked Michael Jackson’s music. (He had a very sheltered childhood) Then we dive into a brief history of Motown for script reasons before, and speaking of sheltered childhoods, we meet the Jacksons.  (All dozen of them) We follow the rise of young Michael from his childhood parental abuse to the pinnacle of cultural dominance before the age of 30 years old. (Can’t imagine why Mike turned out the way he did). We talk about this music, the videos, the cultural impact and the world fell in love with him.  We do NOT talk about the weird stuff.  (We’re saving that for NEXT week!) Our Sponsor this week is Sequin Hut, all we sell is sequins, which was a pretty bad business choice.  We open the show with the news about Thriller and close with Gipsy Danger inquiring about Annie. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/NU4LsUPWZxI?si=iDcOK-3X5buMjkhP Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Wikipedia: The Motown Sound https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motown#Motown_sound Joe Jackson was one of the most monstrous fathers in pop https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/jun/27/joe-jackson-one-of-the-most-monstrous-fathers-in-pop Michael Jackson’s 1987 Cover Story: ‘The Pressure to Beat It’ https://www.spin.com/2014/06/michael-jackson-bad-1987-cover-story/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 505: Thanks For Your Support This week Host Dave Bledsoe tried to impress an age appropriate woman by telling her he was in a wine cooler commercial, only to have his feelings hurt when she asked if played Bartles or Jaymes. (Ouch!) On the show this week we look back at that time when America was crazy about low rent Sangria in a bottle, only they called it a wine cooler. Along the way we discover that Dave lost his virginity much later in life. (Probably in his late 40s) Then we take a look at why Americans started worrying about their fitness (Boomers turned 30) and how advertisers used it to make money. (By selling them alcoholic fruit juice.) Then we meet the man who “invented” the wine cooler and ask the hard questions. (What does Lodi California have to do with “fun beach drinks”?) We met the two men who personified the wine cooler industry in the 80s and their direct connection to the election of Ronald Reagan. (He is EVERYWHERE) Finally, we learn why no one drinks wine coolers anymore. (That is on the first George Bush.) Our Sponsor this week is Super Happy Fun Booze, it only LOOKS like we are marketing it to kids! We open the show with a Canadian worrying about underage drinking. (We thought Canadians drank beer at birth!) and close with Weird Paul and his drink order. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/0-dKNMYc1dg?si=ffvU_9dF9ziI-Wsb Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed: Michael Crete: Local boy becomes cooler king https://www.lodinews.com/opinion/columnists/rich_hanner/article_99f6ddd1-9598-5bf2-8cae-bdc762fce2bd.html The Weird and Wavy History of Wine Coolers https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-weird-and-wavy-history-of-wine-coolers/ Wikipedia: Bartles and Jaymes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartles_%26_Jaymes WHO ARE BARTLES AND JAYMES? ONLY ERNEST, JULIO KNOW FOR SURE https://www.orlandosentinel.com/1986/09/27/who-are-bartles-and-jaymes-only-ernest-julio-know-for-sure/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 504: We Will Always Have Paris This week Host Dave Bledsoe gate crashed a celebrity event by carrying a camera and claiming he was “with the media” just to get access to the open bar. (The only photo taken was his mugshot. Again.) On the show this week we pick up with Chuck and Diane after their fairy tale wedding and following it to its tragic conclusion of Chuck wishing he were a tampon. Along the way we discover why Dave never had any children. (He doesn’t like them and women don’t like him.) Then we dive right into why Chuck chose the crown over love because of his great uncle Eddie. From there we learn how neither of our two love birds really tried all THAT hard to make it work. (A lot easier to have affairs.) We see their marriage through to the bitter end and then we discuss Diana’s bitter end in a Paris tunnel.  Do we talk about how the Queen and MI6 are responsible? Of COURSE we do! Our Sponsor this week is The Firm, you can check out any time you like but only WE say when you can leave.  We open the show with new coverage of the fateful night that broke the world's heart and close with Alexander Mills with some traffic safety tips. (And it is still better than our first choice) Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/pvX4khWrFt8?si=lA8t-OHrvow5WXPn Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed:  Prince Charles Found This Aspect of His Marriage to Princess Diana “Very Difficult to Cope With” https://www.instyle.com/prince-charles-found-marriage-princess-diana-difficult-cope-with-11700298 A Timeline of Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s Tumultuous, Tragic Relationship https://www.vogue.com/article/a-timeline-of-prince-charles-and-princess-dianas-tumultuous-tragic-relationship In pictures: how the world mourned and marked Princess Diana’s death https://theweek.com/news/society/957790/how-the-world-mourned-princess-diana-death Elton John's Diana tribute among most hated hits https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1313402/Elton-Johns-Diana-tribute-among-most-hated-hits.html?ICID=continue_without_subscribing_reg_first 'The Express' and Diana: Cover-ups, spies and conspiracies https://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/the-express-and-diana-coverups-spies-and-conspiracies-429277.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices