What if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy. If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you. We dive deep into: ✨ Why ...

What if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like. We get into: Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/...

Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion). Together they unpack: 💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise 💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior 💥 Practical ...

Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse. You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous syst...

Online trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm. Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, h...

When pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith. You’ll learn: Why abuse and coercive control must be named in sermons on marriage and sex addictionHo...

Intensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference! In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, and how to respond with grace, grounding, and discernmen...

Most therapists believe couples therapy helps struggling marriages—but here’s the shocking truth: up to half of couples seeking counseling are experiencing domestic abuse or coercive control. If therapists miss it, they can actually arm the abuser with new tools to manipulate and harm their partner. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains: Why traditional couples counseling is unsafe in abusive relationshipsHow coercive control hides in plain sightRe...

Christian perspectives on physical intimacy often lack clarity, leaving many couples confused about what honors God in the bedroom - especially if one or both partners are survivors of harm. True intimacy begins with friendship and mutual respect, creating space for honest communication about desires, boundaries, and healing. In this episode we explore: What's permissibleHow technology has changed how we approach intimacySexual abuse survivors needsThe full spectrum of intimacy not just inter...

Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times. The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present momentCreating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience restVisualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stre...

Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs parents and teens should never ignore, and how faith communities can res...

Ever tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment. Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're act...

Trauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery. • Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification • Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, ma...

Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to recla...

Is male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie? In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences. Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual ...

What if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen. We dive deep into: Why the gospel is more than behavior modificationHow the church has mishandled women’s storiesThe truth about Gomer, identity, and self-destructionHow legalism sneaks into our hearts, even when we know betterW...

What does it really mean to be a "doer of the Word" like it says in the book of James? In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Neil Schori, pastor, father, and Director of Church Partnerships at Called to Peace Ministries, to tackle how being doers of the Word should make churches look. Together, they unpack James 1:22-27 and challenge what it really means to “be doers of the word.” Spoiler: it’s not about ignoring abuse. You’ll he...

What if the marriage advice you were taught in church is actually what's ruining your marriage? In this powerful and data-backed conversation, author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Tabitha to unpack the myths evangelical culture has fed us about sex, submission, and "roles" in marriage and how those messages have led to entitlement, emotional immaturity, and deep harm for both men and women. In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits d...

What if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships. This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift. You’ll learn: What manipulative kindness looks like in real lifeWhy it feels so good—and w...

What if the church's problem isn't ignoring sex, but being obsessed with it in all the wrong ways? Does the Church really function like a sex addict? This provocative question frames our exploration into how evangelical Christianity's approach to sexuality has created environments where abuse thrives and healthy intimacy struggles to exist. The fingerprints of this unhealthy fixation appear everywhere—from crude pulpit talk to the hyper-focus on female modesty while neglecting male accountab...