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Hey Tabi!
Tabitha
51 episodes
1 week ago
What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma. Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred r...
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Mental Health
Education,
Religion & Spirituality,
Christianity,
Self-Improvement,
Health & Fitness
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All content for Hey Tabi! is the property of Tabitha and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma. Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred r...
Show more...
Mental Health
Education,
Religion & Spirituality,
Christianity,
Self-Improvement,
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/51)
Hey Tabi!
Restoried Healing For Trauma Survivors with Melissa Affolter
What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma. Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred r...
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1 week ago
53 minutes

Hey Tabi!
When Churches Make Abuse Worse (And How They Can Change) with Matt Chandler
What happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked. Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trau...
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2 weeks ago
50 minutes

Hey Tabi!
The Ultimate Truth About Emotional Abuse in Christian Marriage (Every Survivor Needs to Hear This)
Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage, and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm. If you’ve ever wondered: Is my marriage emotionally abusive?Does God want me to stay in an abusive marriage?Am I being abused or just “too sensitive”?This conver...
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3 weeks ago
53 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Resisting Without Becoming The Oppressor
When we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becoming the very systems of oppression they’re fighting against. Whether you’re a survivor learning t...
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4 weeks ago
51 minutes

Hey Tabi!
From Betrayal to True Intimacy: How Real Healing Happens for Both After Sexual Addiction & Trauma
If you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly heal after sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or years of secrecy, this episode is for you. In this deeply honest conversation, Tabitha sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, authors of Building True Intimacy, and survivors of their own story of betrayal, addiction, and the long road of rebuilding trust. Together, they unpack: ✔ The process of everything shattering and the slow work of rebuilding ...
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1 month ago
1 hour 8 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Is Biblical Counseling That Doesn’t Suck Even Possible? What Trauma Survivors Need to Know
What is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing? In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, sa...
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1 month ago
1 hour 3 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Why Hope Isn't An Outcome, It's an Anchor
What if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy. If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you. We dive deep into: ✨ Why ...
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1 month ago
1 hour 6 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Story > Systems: Adam Westlake on Sanctification, Shame, and Hope
What if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like. We get into: Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/...
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1 month ago
45 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Parenting Spicy Kids - How to Stay Calm When You're Told To "F Off"
Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion). Together they unpack: 💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise 💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior 💥 Practical ...
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2 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma Healing
Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse. You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous syst...
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2 months ago
15 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Getting Trauma Informed Help Online - How to Spot Red and Green Flags
Online trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm. Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, h...
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2 months ago
27 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Pastors, Stop Enabling Harm Through Your Silence
When pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith. You’ll learn: Why abuse and coercive control must be named in sermons on marriage and sex addictionHo...
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3 months ago
33 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Reframing Intensity: Passion, Not Peril
Intensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference! In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, and how to respond with grace, grounding, and discernmen...
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3 months ago
24 minutes

Hey Tabi!
When Couples Therapy is Dangerous
Most therapists believe couples therapy helps struggling marriages—but here’s the shocking truth: up to half of couples seeking counseling are experiencing domestic abuse or coercive control. If therapists miss it, they can actually arm the abuser with new tools to manipulate and harm their partner. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains: Why traditional couples counseling is unsafe in abusive relationshipsHow coercive control hides in plain sightRe...
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3 months ago
20 minutes

Hey Tabi!
What Can Christians Really Do In The Bedroom?
Christian perspectives on physical intimacy often lack clarity, leaving many couples confused about what honors God in the bedroom - especially if one or both partners are survivors of harm. True intimacy begins with friendship and mutual respect, creating space for honest communication about desires, boundaries, and healing. In this episode we explore: What's permissibleHow technology has changed how we approach intimacySexual abuse survivors needsThe full spectrum of intimacy not just inter...
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3 months ago
32 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Breathing Through Chaos: Finding Peace in Hard Times
Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times. The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present momentCreating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience restVisualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stre...
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3 months ago
34 minutes

Hey Tabi!
What Teens Need to Know About Dating Abuse!
Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs parents and teens should never ignore, and how faith communities can res...
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4 months ago
29 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Why Being Kind To Yourself Feels So Hard - Explaining Backdraft
Ever tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment. Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're act...
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4 months ago
20 minutes

Hey Tabi!
Self-compassion - A Vital Step in Trauma Healing
Trauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery. • Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification • Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, ma...
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4 months ago
29 minutes

Hey Tabi!
What If They Aren’t a Narcissist After All?
Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to recla...
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5 months ago
24 minutes

Hey Tabi!
What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again? In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma. Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred r...