I Think I Like You

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I Think I Like You

Clara Artschwager

158 episodes

16 hours ago

Tis the season, or so it seems, to reflect on all I wish I'd done differently. While these breakups and ruptures I speak of are from a few years back, the things I wish I'd done around them to better integrate the pain and learn from my own mistakes, still (very much) ring true in life. First and foremost, I wish I hadn't mainlined so much self help content, such that I drowned out my own lived experience from the loss. Second, I wish I'd had more intimate and difficult conversations with tho...

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Self-Improvement

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Tis the season, or so it seems, to reflect on all I wish I'd done differently. While these breakups and ruptures I speak of are from a few years back, the things I wish I'd done around them to better integrate the pain and learn from my own mistakes, still (very much) ring true in life. First and foremost, I wish I hadn't mainlined so much self help content, such that I drowned out my own lived experience from the loss. Second, I wish I'd had more intimate and difficult conversations with tho...

Show more...

Self-Improvement

Episodes (20/158)

I Think I Like You

Two things I wish I'd done when past relationships, situation-ships, and flings came to an end | Ep 151

Tis the season, or so it seems, to reflect on all I wish I'd done differently. While these breakups and ruptures I speak of are from a few years back, the things I wish I'd done around them to better integrate the pain and learn from my own mistakes, still (very much) ring true in life. First and foremost, I wish I hadn't mainlined so much self help content, such that I drowned out my own lived experience from the loss. Second, I wish I'd had more intimate and difficult conversations with tho...

2 weeks ago

23 minutes

I Think I Like You

A former client of mine has a baby on her own, by choice, but still plans to "find love on her timeline." Here's her story. | Ep 150

Many of the women I work with fall into their late 30s and early 40s, that spot when if one desires children, things can feel a bit precarious. Will I meet someone in time? Will the eggs I've frozen actually function? While I've had a few clients loosely entertain pursuing motherhood on their own, Megan was the first to actually do it. But it came much more from a place of pure desire, rather than something she felt forced into doing because time was running out. Her decision to do so brings ...

3 weeks ago

55 minutes

I Think I Like You

Let your (dating) life hurt. Like really, really hurt.| Ep 149

It always astounds me how often clients will say to me: "I know, I know. I just need to get OVER this." To which I reply, "It sounds like that really hurts. I don't think you do." Our ability to override and deny the truth of our inner worlds and emotional landscapes in this heavily systemized dating world is doing more harm than good. Frankly, it's not doing any good at all! If you're someone who hops from date to date (or relationship problem), loves to busy yourself with work, social engag...

1 month ago

17 minutes

I Think I Like You

How to mine your past or current (I do this in my marriage!) relationships for limiting patterns | Ep 148

Tis the season to REFLECT. That's the heart of today's episode. I love this time of year for getting cozy, sipping something delicious, and reflecting on the year. In today's episode I'm walking you through the exact exercise I use with clients to mine their current and past relationships, crushes, flings, etc, for patterns. Once we know our patterns, we can work to shift them to achieve, essentially, more of the life experience we actually want. Work with me Privately Connect on Instagram We...

1 month ago

25 minutes

I Think I Like You

The thing(s) we miss when we're stuck in feelings of "I'm behind..." | Ep 147

The fear of running out of time or feeling behind (of peers, friends, societal perceptions) is valid, to be sure. But our focus on that feeling blinds us from what's actually there, i.e. what we actually need to address, feel, process, confront, work on, in order to change the direction and future of our romantic lives. Work with me Privately Connect on Instagram Website Podcast Production by James Jorge

1 month ago

15 minutes

I Think I Like You

How taking everything on at work, ignoring the dissatisfaction in your job, and just going through the motions of life influences the quality of your relationships | Ep 146

Are you the planner, the doer, the one who takes on everything? Maybe it's really hard for you to delegate, or you fear if you aren't the one doing it everything will fall apart or go to shit? The tricky thing about that behavior — while it makes us feel like we're in control — is that it dramatically limits the love and care we can receive from others, and the general pleasure we experience in our life. That includes the satisfaction we get from our work or the types of relationships (...

1 month ago

41 minutes

I Think I Like You

On men being intimidated by your $$ career $$ and clients who make more money than their partners | Ep 145

Often women will come to me and say: Men are intimidated by my career/how much money I makeI don't know how to meet someone who doesn't feel this waySpoiler alert, it's not about "just meeting someone" who doesn't feel this way. Feeling this way has way more to do (per usual) with our past versus our present. I'm sharing my own experience, along with that of my clients who earn more money from their partners, and what we can do on our side of the fence to understand shift this dynamic, as wel...

2 months ago

29 minutes

I Think I Like You

Letting people go, pausing dating apps, saying 'no' — all ways of actually bringing *more* momentum to your pursuit of partnership | Ep 144

In the past few weeks clients of mine have: Let go of people they really liked but ultimately weren't the right fitSlowed down their dating practice to get more out of it (i.e. more ease, more fulfillment)Practiced taking space in the early days of a new relationship to better discern how they were feelingAnd in so doing, they're confronting pain, fear, grief, uncertainty....the meat of life :). Admittedly, I've been in a season of my life that has brought up a lot of those feelings, too...

2 months ago

45 minutes

I Think I Like You

3 ways overachievers can remain chronically single or struggling in relationships | Ep 143

In this episode I'm discussing how our propensity to work hard and get things done, and specifically the way we: Place high value on something that's hard to achieve versus finding ease in our lifeAvoid rejection and failure at all costsLabel ourselves as the planner and like to be in charge...are all wreaking havoc (i.e. not leading to the lived experience we want) in our relationships — romantic, platonic, professional, etc. Mentioned in this episode: David Deida: Intimate Communion Sofia A...

2 months ago

50 minutes

I Think I Like You

Preparing for a relationship is not about knowing what you want and need. Here's what is. | Ep 142

A client will often say to me, "I've finally figured out what I want and need in a relationship," with the sentiment that the figuring out of that has been the piece that's missing and will now help them in finding a partner. And it's not that it won't. It is a piece of it. But the awareness of something, versus the ability to act on and integrate said thing, are completely different. And we're very often repeating behaviors in how we date, who we keep around, etc etc, that are the antithesis...

2 months ago

38 minutes

I Think I Like You

On going down ex boyfriend rabbit holes. And should I reach out? | Ep 141

In late August, whilst driving my 10 month old around, furiously throwing "organic" teething crackers in the back seat in hopes he would both stop crying and go to sleep (neither really happened), I mainlined a series of podcast episodes with an ex. He'd just come out with a new book and, thankfully (?), had a bevy of press for me indulge every stalking bone in my body. It was only after the fact that I though, "Oh, I must do a podcast episode about this." Who doesn't stalk an ex!! No one, no...

2 months ago

37 minutes

I Think I Like You

Ep 140 | How I would meet someone if I were single, right now, at nearly 40, that I know would absolutely work.

In about 6 weeks, I turn 40. I often meet clients on the precipice of 40. There, or a little ways after, and there are always (naturally), lots of feelings that come up around hitting that threshold. Will I ever meet someone?Now it REALLY feels too lateAll the men have run outWho wants to date someone 40+?While I'm feeling really, really excited and emboldened about entering this new decade, I, too, would feel different if I didn't yet have a husband or baby. So I wanted to dedicate an episod...

3 months ago

38 minutes

I Think I Like You

2 on the surface helpful ways we can bypass the truth of our (romantic) lives | Ep 139

The obsession with healing ourselves is real, and these days, more often than not, I find myself guiding clients to pull back on all the materials and content they're ingesting in order to stop perpetuating this idea that they're "broken" or that there's always "more" to do. From the endless cycle of self-help books and courses that promise to "fix" us, to using gratitude as emotional white-out, these well-intentioned strategies can become sophisticated forms of self-avoidance. Because really...

3 months ago

33 minutes

I Think I Like You

On being chronically single | Ep 138

This is one of those episodes that came in like a force — it started with a simple question from a follower, then ballooned into like 45 more, with other followers sending random messages, recurring themes in my client work, and admittedly, even the more recent lamenting on my own single life now in a marriage with a baby. This episode will resonate if: You find motivating yourself to date really, really challengingYou haven't dated in a very long time (be it 12 months or 12 years) — and if/w...

4 months ago

55 minutes

I Think I Like You

Ep 137 | This is what healthy dating actually looks like (Pssst we're back!)

What if everything you think dating should look like is actually keeping you single? Or constantly thinking you're doing something wrong or that it's not enough? It seems most of us are in the quintessential "messy middle," in every sense of the word. So as my comeback episode it felt even more appropriate to dig into why these spaces are so potent. It's exactly where the real work happens. And while the primary focus will be on relationships, I'll share how these seasons occur — and benefit ...

4 months ago

35 minutes

I Think I Like You

How to know when it's time to take a break...from dating, hanging with a certain friend, or running a podcast | Ep 136

Today's decision is something I've been noodling on for the past month. I've decided to take a break from running this podcast. But I didn't want to do so without taking you behind the scenes of my decision, because while in this instance the decision to take a break centers around a creative project — my method and means of reflection could be applied to so much else. It's got me thinking about all sorts of priorities and projects in my life.... do I still want to engage with them? Are they ...

7 months ago

39 minutes

I Think I Like You

The practitioner that healed my gut, but really, changed the trajectory of my life | Ep 135

Eight years ago, I landed myself in the office of a nurse practitioner/functional medicine specialist who specialized in gut health. I had been inexplicably bloated and exhausted for months and didn't know why. Little did I know that woman would go on to not only remedy my body, but change the overall trajectory of my life and career. Flash forward to today, while she's still an expert when it comes to our bodies, our nervous systems, and how the two speak to one another, her work is primaril...

7 months ago

1 hour 15 minutes

I Think I Like You

The exact advice you need when you're tired, frustrated and feel like nothing is advancing in your life | Ep 134

March was a rough month for me. I found myself fighting the tail end of sleep training with Jude, my son. I was in a constant state of frustration around all I "wasn't" getting done. My husband and I were bickering like mad. I felt like everyday I was on a treadmill headed nowhere— and not advancing anywhere— but I was still sprinting. Constantly. I couldn't shut down. I was lucky to have my dear friend and wise sage Catherine Zack by my side. Her heartfelt guidance was so good, I decid...

8 months ago

1 hour 12 minutes

I Think I Like You

An argument for swiping left more. Yes, more. | Ep 133

In a recent Instagram post, I spoke about how many of my clients hold a fear that a relationship will swallow them whole. This isn't a misconception, as many of them have completely lost themselves in prior relationships. Also identifying as people pleasers, they've historically had a hard time operating authentically in their relationships, be they romantic, platonic, professional or (most of all) familial. Because of this, it's crucial, when it comes to dating, that we double down on t...

9 months ago

33 minutes

I Think I Like You

The season in life where I thought "Maybe I just don't want a relationship" | Ep 132

There was a moment about five years ago, around age 34, where I thought to myself: Maybe I just don't want a relationship. Clients will say a similar thing to me, often using language like: I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship. In today's episode I'm exploring what rests beneath those words (what they meant for me, what they mean for others) and what it means to intellectualize our pain. I specifically discuss: How a debilitating breakup made me never want to try to have...

10 months ago

31 minutes