Crossing the boundaries into infidelity is like tiptoeing over a minefield, as it can detonate a relationship's foundation and unleash a cascade of harmful effects that not only impact both people’s health but adversely affects generations. Sadly, I observe the profound effects each day in the counselling room.
Here's the ultimate chapter in my ongoing series on the Top 10 Relationship Blunders I've been crafting over recent years.. I’ve tapped fingers to keyboard on this topic a few times before, particularly at this time of year as we’re about to head into the silly season and it deserves a big mention in this series.
People are worn down, stressed out and let their guard down. I always receive plenty of grim feedback that it’s all too relevant and timely. So, I’m here to remind us that in a world of the “quick fix”, and as thrilling as these clandestine transgressions seem at the time, infidelity is a mistake fraught with consequences, and the harmful effects on both you and your partner's health can be profound and long-lasting.
Why do people still tread amongst these minefields still today? Listen to the three main reasons I observe most often.
Reach out to a professional therapist if you're struggling in this area. You can read more on my previous articles on this topic HERE.
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more about her online courses at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Stuck for ideas? Purchase Jo's Intimacy Inspirations Card Deck on sale for Spring.
Help me decode the mystery of your inner desires and take my survey for free.
Read this entire Top 10 Worst Relationship Mistakes series here.
Dare to revisit some of your biggest blunders or crazy arguments in your relationship. Did any occur when one or both of you were under the influence of alcohol? Have you or your partner ever been busted watching porn and what was the reaction? Join me in this episode for some insights to the counselling room on the somewhat effects of drinking and alcohol in couple's therapy and what you can do about it.
Other helpful resources:
Your Brain on Porn: Gary Wilson
Helpful Podcasts on Porn and Sex Addiction
Quit Like A Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Society Obsessed with Alcohol Holly Whittaker
The Easy Way to Stop Drinking: Allen Carr
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more about her online courses at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
I’m certainly not one to encourage peering into life’s revision mirror for too long, however it is worth giving yourself some recognition for making it through the recent years we have endured. Now that you’ve patted yourself on the back, let’s take a look at yourself and check you’re not making the 7th top relationship mistake I notice in the couple’s therapy room.
Have you overlooked any lingering effect on your mental health and how you now show up in your relationship?
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more on her online courses at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Take out today’s to-do list and scan it for where the people you care most about are listed.
Not there?
I agree with you. Your wife, husband, partner, children, grandparents, grandchildren and bestie don’t need to go on the list as they’re always there.
But are they?
It’s fair enough that the following elements of life’s journey take priority at times:
…. The list goes on!newborns and growing hungry, noisy children that then need to be driven everywhere!
earning the big bucks to retire early, or just trying to stay afloat to keep the family alive
caring for elderly family members
refining your abs, or just trying to knock off a few kgs
Joanne Wilson is the facilitator of the Relationship Rejuvenator online mini-courses and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). Find out more at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
The 10-Day Relationship Recharge is back by popular demand and open now for registration!
Have the recent bizarre years extinguished your energy for passion and romance? You wouldn’t be the only one to have found yourself suffering from a bad case of “flat-mate syndrome”. Maybe you’re even struggling to make conversation with the person you fell head-over-heels with many moons ago or getting down and flirty together is a distant memory.
Valentine’s Day was the perfect cue to invigorate your relationship with these strategies for the whole year to get that head-over-heels feeling back in your relationship but I'm checking in to see you didn't leave it at one day.
Joanne Wilson is the facilitator of the Relationship Rejuvenator online mini-courses and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). Find out more at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
What is the one major common denominator I notice that inhibits a healthy approach to conflict?
Humans. Yes – you.
Confronting, right? Rarely do we have the headspace to point the finger at ourselves when it comes to arguments with our partners. Why? Let me explain what the theme of "self" is so important to check why your approach to the conflict may be going so wrong. You may actually quite like my idea!
TIME FOR A MUCH NEEDED POSITIVE INJECTION INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP? Enter DEC21 until 31 December If your relationship isn’t working for you, don’t give up on it yet! There are 3 mini-courses on offer so I can help you find that elusive spark, communicate better and rediscover the intimacy you crave. Take my free quiz to LEARN MORE on the best mini-course for you.
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more on her online courses at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
We've all heard that "Jealousy is a curse"! You may have also read that "Envy is the art of counting another's blessings instead of your own." How about this one? "A flower never thinks of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms".
Jealousy wilts your relationships.
The most well known form of jealousy is the sense of rivalry and suspicion. The unpleasant apprehension of infidelity. Tune into learn what I commonly notice amongst couples I work with that really unravels them:
TIME FOR A MUCH NEEDED POSITIVE INJECTION INTO YOU RELATIONSHIP? The much loved, 10-Day Relationship Recharge is back. If your relationship isn’t working for you, don’t give up on it yet! I can help you find that elusive spark, communicate better and rediscover the intimacy you crave in just 10 days. And the best part? You can do this without your partner! (You can of course do it together if you’d like). LEARN MORE.
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more on her online courses at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Jane and Mark are great communicators. Their lifestyle is organised, structured and fun for their four children all under 14 years old. All children enjoy at least two after school activities each per week despite Mark working full time and Jane part-time. One child has special needs so attends additional therapies. Despite this, their lifestyle ticks along extremely well. Jane and Mark have rarely argued throughout their 16-year marriage so why were they in my counselling room? Tune in to find out how they had fallen prey to a common mistake in relationships.
Head to my next FREE event, contributing as guest speaker to Focus on the Family for Marriage Week on Saturday 18 September: Intimacy is not just Physical.
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Have you ever struggled to comprehend or accept your partner’s previous life before you? Maybe they can’t handle your horrible histories?
Welcome to Part 2 of my Top 10 Worst Relationship Mistakes Series. Here are some particularly challenging topics I’ve noticed when you can’t get past your spouse’s past:
They’ve:
Don’t forget to check out Jo's Facebook Lives with "Relationship Rehab with Jo" to inject some relational inspirations into your week!
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more about her latest relationships mini-course intake at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Early-bird pricing concludes 21 August 2021.
Welcome to the “Top 10 Worst Relationship Mistakes” series as noticed in the counselling room. You are welcome to enjoy this also from personal experience as a married relationship therapist who is living and breathing the wondrous relationship reality!
Check out this series on my Instagram TV channel and on Facebook Live.
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Our interview with the incredible Dr Hugh Mackay and his fascinating acronym of the QPL! What an honour to share his insight and I know you'll note his findings make perfect sense!
Hugh Mackay is a social researcher and bestselling author of 19 books, including
The Good Life, The Art of Belonging and his latest: Australia Reimagined.
He has had a 60-year career in social research, and was also a weekly newspaper
columnist for over 25 years. Among many honorary appointments, he has been
deputy chairman of the Australia Council for the Arts, chairman of trustees of Sydney
Grammar School, the inaugural chairman of the ACT government’s Community
Inclusion Board and an honorary professor at Macquarie, Wollongong and Charles
Sturt universities. He is currently a patron of the Asylum Seekers Centre
Hugh is a Fellow of the Australian Psychological Society and of the Royal Society of
NSW. In recognition of his pioneering work in social research, he has been awarded
honorary doctorates by Charles Sturt, Macquarie, NSW, Western Sydney and
Wollongong universities. He was appointed an Officer of the Order of Australia in
2015.
As it turns out - quite a lot!
Find out why in this article as part of my "Inhibitors to Intimacy" series.
- Check out my weekly column in the @sunshinecoastdaily Weekend Mag or on my Blog https://www.theconfidantecounselling.com/blog.
- Tune in to radio Salt 106.5 https://salt1065.com/ each Friday morning for my co-host with Kristian on the morning Wakeup
- Enjoy FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
It's a wrap for my Inhibitors to Intimacy series with this beautiful term, Naked to the Soul". It blends beautifully with explaining one of those main blocks to the love your crave and deserve.
With special thanks to Peter Janetzki for his expertise on this.
Read this article as part of my "Inhibitors to Intimacy" series HERE.
- Check out my weekly column in the @sunshinecoastdaily Weekend Mag or this areas on my Blog https://www.theconfidantecounselling.com/blog.
- Tune in to radio Salt 106.5 https://salt1065.com/ each Friday morning for my co-host with Kristian on the morning Wakeup
- Enjoy FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
In these unprecedented times of a pandemic with terrifying updates bombarded so easily accessible to our hand-held devices at lightning speed. More than ever do we need to count on others for a sense of safety - especially for those in a relationship who want the safety their connection can bring.
There's been no better time to evaluate the health of your relationship as we practise social distancing is encouraged social isolation for some.
Great relationships feature a healthy sense of self, independence and interdependence. This means you have flexibility, reciprocity without controlling behaviours. It can be a delicate balance that may have you relying on or conforming to your partner too much, leaving you without purpose or direction. Alternatively, too much independence can leave you living like flatmates, with little support and no chance of attaining joint goals. Listen in to find out the signs you're losing yourself in your relationships.
- Check out my weekly column in the @sunshinecoastdaily Weekend Mag or this areas on my Blog https://www.theconfidantecounselling.com/blog.
- Tune in to radio Salt 106.5 https://salt1065.com/ each Friday morning for my co-host with Kristian on the morning Wakeup
- Enjoy FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Tune in to the first of my new series, "Stockpiling Relationship Solutions".
How do you cope with the unknown? What behaviours do those of you in a relationship find your partner exhibit when fearful? Do you have a child who surprises you with bizarre and unsettling responses to change or feeling scared?
In these unprecedented times of a pandemic with terrifying updates bombarded so easily accessible to our hand-held devices at lightning speed, we can be shocked by other’s response to fear.
Your sensible and simple guide to support you and anyone in your household throughout recommended physical distancing. It is completely FREE and my gift to you featuring:
- a personalised go-to guide to contemplate the best approach for you - just fill in the blanks!
- the importance of a sensible approach for the best advantage for a healthy immune system
- 13 key concepts to consider when physically distanced from others
- ways to inspire yourself to connect and thrive
- an array of activities to ensure you continue to feel hopeful and well.
The majority of everything has been cancelled. Many people are so unwell, there's anxiousness from worry and we've been instructed to isolate ourselves - the only way to stop the spread. You've therefore been relieved of the hectic child taxi service. You can't go to the gym, footy club or whatever your “thing”, is closed until further notice - there’s nothing on and finances might be tight. The sound of crickets are chirping except for the tap of your keyboard or phone, working from home.
You turn around to see someone who seems rather nice working nearby on their PC at your kitchen bench who says their you’re spouse! How about that? It’s involuntary reconnection time. Enjoy this episode with simple tips and strategies to keep you sane!
Sadly, we were already in the grip of a mental health crisis caused by trends in Australian society featuring shrinking households, greater tendency to be more mobile severing old-fashioned neighbourly friendships, the rate of separation and divorce, decreasing birth rate where we compensate with more pets instead (which isn’t all bad!) and the information technology boom that has us feeling more connected than ever before but more apart from each other! Enter a pandemic then forced isolation and we ‘stack’ a sense of global fear to already high anxiety levels for many Australians. Enjoy my idea on alleviating loneliness during physical distancing (not social isolation).
Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Tune into radio Salt106.5 each Friday morning for her co-host of the Morning Wakeup discussing her weekly newspaper column in the Sunshine Coast Daily. Download your FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
It seems social distancing and increased downtime for many equates to more screen time. Not a week goes by when cyber-related challenges aren't raised in the counselling room and I have some excellent prompts and topics for you to discuss with your spouse and family.
Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Tune into radio Salt106.5 each Friday morning for her co-host of the Morning Wakeup discussing her weekly newspaper column in the Sunshine Coast Daily. Download your FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Does social distancing translate to a greater use of pornography? I don’t know but many people do ask me if pornography is a contributing cause to the demise of relationships? This is an extremely controversial topic and always will be. As a relationship therapist, I journey with clients without judgment and respect their opinions and values. This episode refers to the most recent statistics from the world's largest pornographic website and the good or bad impact on relationships.
Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Tune into radio Salt106.5 each Friday morning for her co-host of the Morning Wakeup discussing her weekly newspaper column in the Sunshine Coast Daily. Download your FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com