Like I guess I'll never truly know whether people like me, appreciate me, hate me, are annoyed by me, or don't care.  It's just a big hodgepodge of bs that I can’t really see through. Like I’m serious, the amount of people who have later come up to me saying they remember me or still talk about things I did or noticed/recognized me back then is in a way really awkward.  Like as I said in the podcast, it confuses me and I don’t quite know how to take it.  Like it would be a complement if not for the literally MEMORY I have of the time. But it's whatever. No point focusing on it. Not like answers to these questions will change the present or the past.

Yeah, so the first half of the podcast was when I was driving home from work or something, and then the second half was when I was driving to work.  Basically, I figured out the answer to my own questions after some long thought about it.  I think it makes sense, and I bet some medical expert would agree with my reasoning.  It just makes so much perfect sense.

Yes, within these power structures themselves, there’s a build-up of schizophrenia.  TBH, it's probably what keeps people within the walls of these structures in the first place. Like, take, for example, exorcisms... like they rarely release videos of these apparently KURAAAAZY events, but those few videos that do pop up… it literally just seems like a person going through some type of mental illness.  It's not some "demon speaking through" it's just...a mentally disturbed person who needs help. Like, sure, maybe the exorcism crap works somehow and out skitzos the skitzo.  Like, maybe by playing into the game and belief of the demon being cast out, the mentally disturbed mind fixes itself, but it's not actually some freaking demon bs. and even then, you never see the mystical af stuff like "omg he was literally floating around above the table and his head turned around 360 degrees.... nah, I’ma need to see some visual proof of that mess.  Just seems the priests are so far deep into the lore and skitzo of it all that even they begin to believe and see things.  I swear all this crap is so freaking fake.



Same thing with the government bs.  

Now, I did forget to say that my issue with closeted isn’t that they are closeted.  Like I don’t have any issue with them keeping their hidden endeavors to themselves (unless you already made obligations like having a wife and kids).  Like if anything, I think relationship stuff should be kept to yourself anyhow unless asked.  Like I don’t give af about your spicy relationship crap, I don’t want to hear about it.



The thing that ticks me off about some closeted people is when they have the nerve to be closeted but then judge or bully or harass or act hateful towards people who are of other sexual orientations.  Like that’s wild to me.  Like I can understand being uncomfortable talking about it if put on the spot since you’re trying to hide your true intentions.  But to go and say or treat people in such a terrible fashion and then ironically be secretly doing that mess too….that’s so crazy stuff.  I have no respect for that. Like people need to learn to just mind their own business.  Like I make a podcast about other people’s behaviors, sure, so you could turn that on me, but I don’t make it my whole personality to constantly bring up the same exact topics and be doubly judgmental and hateful towards the topics. So yeah, screw you.

Yes, I smell you.  I don’t react or say anything, but in the back of my head I am going "wtf it’s that same smell again, I wonder why they don’t wear body spray or deodorant."



And yeah of course I don't smell it on men, because I’m rarely that close up to a man to smell them like that.  A woman though, that’s why I mention I smell it on them, because there have been times where I’m that close up to a girl where I smell the natural scent of... skin... I guess? And the natural skin smell is not preferable to the smell of fresh soap/perfume which morning shower people are more likely to have still emanating off of them.

I would never want to live in a future where my death would be cause for celebration. And not a good celebration way like a celebration of their life type way. I mean a "good riddance took long enough the world is better in his absence" type way. I think it's. going to become a growing trend where more and more people are goign to celebrated in such a way. Thanks to the widespread use of the internet and the many avenues and which someone can spread their thoughts, there will be more and more people who piss people off in a widespread way where not only will there be more assassination attempts, but more celebrated deaths. It's a strange world we live in. But hey, these people are making money and get cocky from spreading hate so I guess it comes with the territory. Just gotta know how to time it right. Its simialr to gang culture where theres only two routes you are lead to, jail or murdered, but I guess for these super "outspoken" insane af political extremist, there only two routes are canceled or assassinated.

I’m serious too.  I have yet to see any person who was successful who made me go "WOAH! OK now THAT is the smartest person possible.  It's truly unachievable for me to ever surmount to the level of intellect they have." It just has never happened.  Why?  Because they are literally just average people who have a certain amount of training in something.  It's no different than someone who builds houses, or a plumber, or a teacher, or a custodian, or an UPS package handler, or a cashier.  You do something long enough, you get good at it.  That’s it.  And it's even worse for the people who are "businessmen" or "managers" or whatever tf high-level title. They are literally doing a whole bunch of nothing and are celebrated for it.  Like all these jobs and ideas and skillsets are no different.  With enough time, anyone can do anything.  That’s the ultimate red pill.  It’s just some people spend their time in different ways.

Not sure if I made a podcast on this before, but yeah, people have a natural affinity to royal bloodlines or perfect lineages.  Like rather than be in tv shows, or movies, or books written... they can never just be a peasant who grew up a peasant and then from hard work became someone great, it always has to be some type of "oh actually his father was secretly the Hokage", "oh actually his parents were rich af and the most popular kids in school before they died", "oh actually he was the reincarnation of this great hero", etc.



People secretly want rulers.  They want kings and queens that are so unachievable from the common man that they are practically gods.  The only time they are okay with someone being a peasant or loser who becomes great is if they secretly were part of this royal bloodline.



Absolutely pathetic.

I don’t know about you, but bugs just seem off… everything about them.  Like they are just so different from every other creature on Earth.  Perhaps they are ancient robots from elder sentient creatures now extinct on ancient Earth.  Perhaps they are aliens from a distant land. Perhaps they are the gods’ instruments.  The angels are actually forms of bugs.  Bugs are the gods’ eyes and ears since they are literally everywhere.  No wonder they want to always be near you.  That’s your guardian angel trying to get a closer look.

I'm sorry everyone, but the govnemrnt is a god. The jews arent a god. Stop trying to manifest this weird globally connect "assassins vs templars"-esque fairytale where only you and other people "in the know" know the truth. Face the hard evidence and truth that the world is boring and full of idiots and half the people in power have no clue what they are doing and their flaws create mistakes that ripple through time due to their incompetence. And thats it...

Yeah, I truly think everyone is a bit skitzo, but most people can just handle it silently.  Like, there are too many weird opinions or decisions made based on literally nothing.  People are too quick to believe things and to put all their marbles on things with little evidence.  It's why gambling is such an easy thing to get caught up in. Rather, that’s casinos or the stock market or whatever.  It just is what it is.  



And the conspiracy theories people come up with are another cherry on top.  Like, sure, some of them are true or believable, but a lot of them go to weird lengths where it's just like...come on.... Yeah, I’m sure Beyoncé is actually the archdemon of hell, and if you don’t thank her at the Grammys, your soul will be cast into Hades for eternal hell fire....mhmm...sounds legit...

I am the newest update of human evolution.  It's similar to when a tech company pulls all stops on an expensive af research/high af priced product. It's expensive af and has so much tech squeezed in it that most people like, "WTF Why??? Who gonna spend all that money on that mess??"  But they don’t realize that it was made more as a proof of concept that what they plan to do can be done, and then it will be further optimized and reiterated for cheaper consumer-level products.  Think that cringe af apple PC or the Apple monitor.  You can even add the ChatGPT 4.5 or the Apple Vision Pro.  Thats me.  I am the first.  It confuses the average person.  They don’t realize the future is coming and I was the tip of the spear.

I think the moral of this story is that people should stop trying to impress people they never wanted to like in the first place.  Like it might sound harsh how I was talking about trans, but I wasn’t saying it in a transphobic manner.  I simply believe that it’s foolish to put so much of your inner toil trying to convince someone you already know is lost to accept you.  You don't need them to accept you.  Focus your energy on the people around you who do like you for who you are.  And if there are no people around you who do, it might be time to consider making a big shift, and moving somewhere that you think you'll be more comfortable being yourself in.  It might be hard, but wouldn’t that be a better risk to take and a better last-ditch effort to do before considering killing yourself or doing something demonic like a mass murder?  I for one think it is.

IDK, help disprove this if you can. And don't do some "Jesus is Lord hakunamutata muhana means family all god is one so alien god is our god."No, no, that bs wont work because that’s the most lazy af "proof" that literally has no logical interference with anything. But let’s humor it for a second. If that were true, then all our gods on Earth are all one god. If that’s true, then why do so many gods from different cultures have strikingly completely different personalities and belief sets and rules. Wouldnt make sense for the "one god" to be skitzo af. So try a bit harder with the disproving of my disproving.

Yeah, Hampton Road sucks. No wonder every celeb from here got out of there quick af. Every single one. And every single one blew up in a DIFFERENT city. They never blow up in Hampton Roads. They move to another city and then start getting more attention and such.Its a trash af wasteland of nothing. Like at least in small towns, there’s like a humble, comfy vibe to it. Maybe some pretty sights to see, maybe the empty quietness...here…nope, just a bunch of suburbs and highways....and that’s about it. Maybe one cool spot in Norfolk’s marina area and the beach. Wowza! Multi-million-populated city area, btw. Literally, the entire economy and movement of new residents here is fully dictated by the naval shipyard, and that’s it. That’s quite literally the ONLY reason people come here. And our only tourism is people from up north (Virginia) coming down to the beach every so often during the summer. Wow!! Such a great area!!!

Yeah, things are just starting to make sense lately. Like not in a "wow he is so wise and smart" but in a... wow he is nihilistic and depressive af. Like nothing seems to matter or have reason. Like I know I’m in a current slump and of course I will have these types of thoughts, but it’s hard to not see it as just that. Like friends and family are revealing that people are only close when they are happy or when they are gaining something from you. Not all the time it’s a bad thing but people aren’t usually just nice for nice sake. Some are, but most aren’t.I can even argue even D'Ante', the reason we are still cool is because we are both in a similar situation. If that fine balance was different during this period, I probably would've dropped him too.Say a loving marriage, a lot of the time I'd argue that if the husband/wife was in a slump, lost job, or aged poorly, was less "fun" than before even though same personality, etc., then a divorce would be soon to come if the other person wasn't sticking around only because they couldn’t find anyone else.The government revealed it never gave af about its people and this whole constitution blah blah experiement bs was all just a sham to get people to ignore the numerous and obvious bads and be hypnotized into blind faith in the system. The world caters to the rich and the lowly lower middle to low class are only there to be machines. That’s why when AI started showing its head of usefulness with LLMs, the CEOs and business people were so quick to screw over entry workers. Like this world is a mess. If there is a god, the god sucks at what it does ngl. Literally threw garbage at the wall, it sorta stuck but is drooping down leaving stinky grease stains, and it went "eh I’m tired that’s good enough".I could do a better job ngl.

So this day they put me on the trucks....little did I know 1 truck is quite literally playing on easy mode.... It was just the tutorial.... Just a little test to make sure the controller was working correctly...The next day was a difficulty spike akin to Dark Souls...

I basically already made this podcast a while back, but nothing wrong with repeating topics if there’s been a long gap between. And also this time it’s with another person listening, so idk gives a different vibe.

It’s crazy how in 4 years so many stories and nostalgia can occur. Like when you think about it, high school really isn’t that long, but it makes a harder impact for people than college. Like yeah, you can argue there are people who have crazy college stories, but there’s something about high school that makes people continue to look at it in a more nostalgic way than any other schooling portion in life. More than elementary, middle, or university. Like it’s not a universal feeling of course, but on average, it’s pretty common.In some ways, it’s akin to how I feel about Hong Kong. Technically, I've only been there about 1.9 years, I guess (?), but so many stories and so much of that city I explored in such a short time. I could have stories for at least a 30-hour-long podcast, and it was such a short period of time... just interesting how time works.

Another friendship ended. Preventable, but what can you do? Some people just don't deserve to be in my life, I guess. It’s crazy to me; all it takes is one thing, and a long-standing friendship can end in a blip. It's probably for the better, though... toxic friendships can rot your life slowly. Ironically, if I never met this person, I’d probably still be in Hong Kong right now with a progressing career. It’s wild how certain people can lead you astray subtly without you even realizing. Like the blame is on me for that part, but it’s still wild how it most likely never would have happened if not for these certain people coming and going out of your life. But then again, that can be said for many things. Even, say, the reason I had an interest in China could be argued due to people coming and going in life. So there’s a duality in that, I guess.