How Much Do Words Matter?

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Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.

Nan: Yes, how kindness moves you to take action, you yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community, or you just love the feeling of doing good.

Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, the podcast brought to you by INC Media. We're your hosts, LP and Nan.

Nan : Right. Well LP, I'm really excited because we have another special episode today and the topic for today is we're talking about words. You know from childhood, many of us are taught to speak politely. You know, for example, we say, we're taught to say “Thank you” say “Please” or you know, ask someone “How are you.?” In general, we're taught to use kind words and avoid the bad ones, right? But it's something that becomes kind of second nature. So when we look back at our childhood and, and we think about the words that were spoken to us; maybe the words that we read or even heard, how, how much of an impact did that really make?

Lois Paula: Right. It's major. Words have an impact. Whether it's something that we say, whether it's something that we write, wherever we publish it, wherever we put it out–words have an impact. And you mentioned the words we read and I think we don't realize, a lot of us, that that's another avenue for us to receive words right?  Some of us are visual and so that reinforces what we're ah listening to right? We see it so that it reinforces what we're hearing, so to say, we read it. But you know when we think about it, ah, even from our earliest days of childhood until now–the words that were spoken to us, the words that we have read or the words that we ourselves have said, they all have shaped who we are and our experiences. They've all impacted one another.

Nan : Right. I totally agree and, you know, that entire spectrum of words, you know, good and bad and everything in between has had such an impact you know? And, and that's why I can't wait to jump in today's conversation. You know, not only do we have an interesting topic as I mentioned earlier, we also have some great guests joining us today. Ah, so first we meet an author who has published a children's book entitled Mr. Awesome Great Day and she currently has another one in the works. So please welcome Rachelle De Dios.

Rachelle: Hi 

Nan: Hi Rachelle.

Lois Paula: You like going by Rach right? 

Rachelle: Yeah, most of my friends call me that and you guys are my friends and everyone listening so.

Lois Paula: Hi Rach. Thanks so much for joining us today. And I think you are our first guest on Kindness Moves who has actually had a book published. Congratulations to you, that's extremely amazing. You know it's such a great accomplishment just in itself. Um, and I'd love, we'd love to know–how did this all start? So can you tell us a little bit just about your journey from um, you know, childhood up until now, you're a published author. How did this all start?

Rachelle: Awesome. Ah, thank you so much for having me and thank you for the kind words. Um, yeah to be honest with you guys I never thought I would create a book, write a book. That was never in the cards for me. But I think the whole, you know, story that I created, and I made, I didn't realize how much it meant to me and when I started to see my story kind of unfold in my life with, you know, some things that I felt about growing up and how I really wanted attributes to be known more than our titles or attribut...

Learning Kindness From Parent-Child Bonding



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Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.



Nan: Yes, how kindness moves you to take action, you yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness. You might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. Hi everyone!



Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We're your hosts LP and Nan. Now in a previous episode we discussed how to teach kindness to kids.



Lois Paula: And in that discussion we met Teresa and learned about her daughter Katelyn and the importance of, you know, fostering a child's urge to share kind acts. Now in today's episode we continue the discussion of sharing acts of kindness with your child but we dive a little bit deeper and shift the perspective now to a father–a father of three who actively encourages his children to join outreach efforts that help their community. Now, as a mother, that's something I inspired to do because it's, it's really these kinds of activities that promote, you know, parent-child bonding and teach kindness at the same time.



Nan: Yeah, you know, I'm really, really glad that we're continuing this discussion LP because it's such an important topic right? I mean parent child bonding and being able to do these acts of kindness together. But I'm even more excited because we get to hear from a father. You know sometimes the perception is that it's generally the mother that children learn kindness from, which I totally understand. You know, I learned a lot from my mom about kindness and being caring and she really influenced me greatly. But I would also like to highlight all the dads out there that make it a point to teach kindness, you know.



Lois Paula: Yes.



Nan: My dad definitely took the time to teach me those lessons so I just wanted to highlight all the dads out there and also tell my dad thank you. So thanks dad!



Lois Paula: Yes, yes, that's right. Now speaking of dads, shout out to all of the fathers, to all of the husbands out there. Just want to say thanks to my husband as well. You know, you're right. We really do try our best to take every opportunity to be, you know, the best parents. But there are a ton of dads out there, you know, who are doing the same thing–trying to set a great example. And it just so happens that we are meeting one today. Yes! So he joins us all the way from New Jersey, let's welcome Ted Pascual. Hi Ted.



Nan: Hi Ted.



Ted Pascual: Hello Nan, hello LP. Thank you for having me here today.



Nan: We’re so so excited to have you. 



Lois Paula: Yeah.



Nan: You know we're really happy that you could join us today all the way from New Jersey and I mentioned earlier that I was really excited to have you on the podcast. 



Nan: As a father, you've encouraged volunteering and acts of kindness, which I'd like to highlight even more because we have all the awesome moms, but I also want to show all the awesome dads. And before we jump into your fatherhood though, I would like to start from the beginning–if you could tell us a little bit about your childhood. Who or what were your biggest influences when it c...

Cancer Survivor Shows How Kindness Heals
Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: It's always better to look forward to better things than to dwell on what you can't control. Right? You just have to keep trying to get to the next level and push through it, pray about it. What we're going through right now, it's not easy. Before the pandemic, whatever we were going through, it's not easy. It's not easy. One rule of thumb that one of my nurses told me is you can stay in bed one day, if you don't feel like getting out of bed one day, but that's it. After that, you have to keep getting out of bed.
LP Riturban: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.
Nan Zapanta: Moves you to take action yourself or just makes you feel something so good, it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you connect now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good.
LP Riturban: Welcome back everyone to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We're your hosts LP and Nan.
Nan Zapanta: So today we want to bring into our conversation how to keep positive and in turn exude positivity in our daily life. You know, when circumstances around you are maybe really tough and it's pushing you in that other direction to be negative or, or just not see things in a positive light, how we can really turn towards positivity.
LP Riturban:  So yes Nan, what we're going to do to start off our conversation actually today is just ask our listeners, wherever you are to pause, ok. And think about the last time you were faced with a tough situation. It could be, you know, with your family, individually, maybe even in a really dire situation where you could barely see what tomorrow looked like. Now imagine that moment, the way you felt. Now replay your reaction to the things around you, the things people said, the things that happened the next day or that week, you know, did you still act with love? Do you still show compassion to those around you? Or did your reactions dictate otherwise? Did your reactions to what was happening still shine a light of positivity? That's what we're going to discuss today.
Nan Zapanta: Right, and those are really great points to reflect on right? The moments of adversity, and that's what we’ll reflect on today. How we can really keep a perspective of positivity no matter what life throws at us.
LP Riturban: Yes, and to talk with us about it today, we introduce our guest from New Jersey. She is a professional in the legal services industry. She's also a host and correspondent and a producer of INC Radio programming. Most of all, she's also had her own share of life-changing experiences that she's turned into motivation to do good every chance she gets and you know, just be that light. So let's welcome Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman also known as Cat. Hello. 
Nan Zapanta: Hi Cat.
Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Hi, everyone. Hi, Nan and LP. So excited to be here with you guys. 
Nan Zapanta: So are we. 
Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: What an introduction like, is that, is that my entire resume?
Nan Zapanta: What is that my LinkedIn? Is that my LinkedIn?
Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Right? Wait, I really need to add some stuff. 
LP Riturban: It’s like our drum roll. So here we have today.
Nan Zapanta:  Well, we're so excited to have you here with us. It's been a conversation that we've been looking forward to, especially with that introduction, right? And we've, we'd really love to give our listeners a chance to hear you and give you a chance to introduce yourself.
Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Hi. As LP said, I am Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman.

Growing Up and Living with Compassion



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Natalie Fitzpatrick: I think kindness is probably the one thing that kept me grounded. You can be that beacon for yourself, if you just remind yourself that, you know, you have these values to return to at the end of the day so even if things get messy, like things go wrong in your life, knowing that you did something good for someone else, knowing that you did something good in general, even for yourself– putting good out there is not going to bring bad back to you. Like there's no harm in radiating that light.



LP Riturban: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.



Nan Zapanta: Moves you to take action, yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it's contagious, you know, you might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community, or you just love the feeling of doing good.



LP: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We are your hosts, LP and Nan. Now Nan, in a previous conversation we discussed the importance of teaching kindness to kids. So, well what about after the kid phase. What about the tweens and the teens, the young adulthood and beyond?



Nan: Yeah you know that that previous conversation that we had with Teresa, it was a great one. You know I learned a lot in our talk with Teresa and I really really enjoyed that conversation. But yeah you're right LP, you know, what about the “kid phase”? What about beyond that kid phase? Where do we go from there?



LP : When I look back at my teenage years, I remember so many of my peers, you know, finding it challenging to decipher what's important, what's cool, you know, not just now, but what's valuable even in the future? Gosh, when we were teens, we couldn't even think about the future; all our minds were, were focused on is, “what is today?”,  “what's happening today?”. So, is that even a possibility for us to think about how what we do today affects tomorrow in five, ten years from now, you know? So today we will hear from a young professional who actually has been with the INC Giving Project, as an INC Giving Volunteer, when the project first started back in 2011. She was only 15 back then. But even now, she continues to actively volunteer and share acts of kindness. So let's welcome Natalie Fitzpatrick from Vancouver, British Columbia. Hello, Natalie.



Nan: Hi Natalie.



Natalie: Hi. 



LP: Good to have you here.



Natalie: Good to hear from you guys again. 



LP: Yay.



Nan: Yeah, totally. We've been excited to, to have this conversation with you. You know LP and I have been looking forward to it. So thank you so much for joining us.



Natalie: Thank you for having me.



Nan: We've spoken in the past and it's clear that you, you are a very kind person. So, as you know, today we're talking about how it's cool to be kind, no matter what age. Kindness, it really is timeless, so maybe we can start from the beginning: how can you recall from your childhood, what is it that instilled in your childhood such a strong passion to help others and to be kind?



Natalie: Thinking back,

Build Good Habits For a Growth Mindset



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Frendhel: Having self discipline allows you to grow as a person and, not only that, it changes your perspective, it changes your attitude for the better. And what I’ve learned is that because of this, everything around me has changed for the better. If you drive on discipline, you know it has to be done, because it's good for you, and you think about why you're doing it – you're gonna get up and do it. No excuses.



[show intro]



Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you, to highlight how kindness moves.



Nan: Moves you to take action, yourself, or just makes you feel something so good, it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good.



Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan. Now studies show that in order for a habit to form it takes repetition and a constant conscious effort. Right?



Nan: Yeah and so in today's discussion we’ll focus not just on any habits but creating good habits for a growth mindset – how an attitude of gratitude, most especially, can impact our daily mindset and help us focus on the good, so we can do good for ourselves and those around us.



Lois Paula: Right. And so for today’s discussion, we will get tips from someone who consistently uses her online presence or digital footprint ,so to say, to spread positivity. So let's welcome, from Washington State — she is a dental professional by day, and by night she’s not just a mom of two or a fitness enthusiast, a coach; she is also a producer, a correspondent, a content creator with Eagle Broadcasting Corporation and its many motivational segments, let’s welcome Frendhel Fejeran, otherwise known as Den Den. 



Nan: Hi Frendhel.



Lois Paula: Hey Frendhel.



Frendhel: Hey what's good  LP and Nan? How are you guys?



Lois Paula: It’s good to have you.



Nan: Great, doing great, doing great. You know, LP I think in your intro you said, “by day and by night”, but I think by super early morning she's like the workout queen right?, I think that's what, what she is.



Lois Paula: You’re awake at dark o'clock. 



Frendhel: Dark o’clock, that is correct. That is correct. And I'm just really excited to be here on this podcast with you guys. And I don't think, I mean I love fitness – I wouldn't quite say that I'm the fitness queen. Although I love fitness and I can be a queen, so I guess you're right. 



Nan: Perfect. Perfect. That’s perfect. We're so excited to have you here with us, this past year has changed a lot of our perspectives and it's really given us an opportunity to reflect, to reevaluate our goals right? And of course we all know we’re, we're to varying degrees of isolation so we've really been put in positions to self motivate. So, if you can, Frendhel, help us understand firstly, what is a growth mindset?



Frendhel: So a growth mindset – what I've learned how to define it for myself, is being aware that everything that you encounter in life and everything that you experienc...

The Healing Power of Kindness



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Dr. Sydney Fontanares: Kindness is an act, or it's a practice. It's something you cultivate. So being able to be intentional about when we practice kindness and asking ourselves those questions and reflect on it. The question that I like to use is you know “How can I bring kindness into my day – whether to me or another person in any small way?”, and just starting off my day with that and ending my day with that.



[show intro]



Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself. This podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.



Nan: Yes, how it moves you to action – you yourself. Or how it just makes you feel something so good, it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good.



Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan. 



Nan: Hi.



Lois Paula: So today on Kindness Moves, we talk more in depth on how kindness heals. It's a topic that actually resonates with many of you, especially as we’ve all gained this new perspective this past year. And some of us are even more focused on our emotional and mental health.



Nan: That’s so true, LP. We've all had to adjust. I'm sure we've all had to learn to reshift our focus and I'm sure everyone has had to pick up some broken pieces to try to make the best of our different situations.



Lois Paula: So in terms of kindness. How can it help really? You know, are good deeds truly capable of being healthy for the heart, the mind for the soul? You know, for example Nan, if you think back to, for instance, you know, a rough time in your life, what's one thing that might have helped you?



Nan: You know, it's no secret, 2020 was such a rough year for almost everyone right, to varying degrees, and my family and I, we were no strangers to that. Unfortunately, I lost my mom in 2020. And that was definitely the darkest moment in my life. What was interesting though was even though it was the darkest moment, you know, kindness, really was one of those beacons of light and kindness from family members from brothers and sisters in the faith, from friends – that that kindness really helped us to maintain that that positive outlook and mood, you know, so kindness really does move and help others.



Lois Paula: Absolutely and firstly I just want to thank you for sharing that Nan. Our hearts are truly with you and everyone who have grieved especially this last year alone the loss of someone or even something you know I'm sure all of us have lost something – plans or a future, you know, that we were hoping to have. But you're right, having a community, it strengthens us, it reminds us that there's still so much more to gain in life from all the blessings that we have and for me personally, it's, it's my kids, actually, you know, they remind me to take more moments to laugh and be present and to be more joyful so their kindness their natural being of you know them being kids it, it truly does help me. Yeah, so we talked about today, how can we use kindness to help, ourselves first, so that ultimately we can be of better help to other people. Actually, before we even get to that, what is this feeling anyways? That feeling of being affected, just by one simple act of kindness. Why is it so powerful?

How To Teach Kindness To Kids



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Teresa: One little thing can make a difference in somebody's life and seeing her realize that and seeing her do these actions on her own without us telling her what to do, has been so amazing. For us, our biggest success is raising a daughter who is kind because that's just her heart, and for us that's the most important thing.



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Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you, to highlight how kindness moves.



Nan: Moves you to take action, yourself. It just makes you feel something so good, it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. 



Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast, brought to you by the INC Giving Project, we’re your hosts LP and Nan! 



Lois Paula: So today we are actually talking about a topic that hits close to home — raising kids, now specifically raising kind kids! Being a mother of two, this topic, is something that my husband and I, we always try to instill in our kids in different ways. But we know, there isn't a one size fits all approach; but definitely, we value seeing and hearing what other parents have done to raise their kind kids.



Nan: Well you know LP, I, I gotta say, I don't think you give yourself or Glenn, the credit that you guys deserve. You know you and your husband are definitely on the right track — trying is already the first step, and seeking knowledge is the second step in the right direction, so you're on that right path. And I have had the privilege to meet your kids and to get to know your kids, and I gotta say they are truly kind kids. 



Lois Paula: Thanks to you Uncle Nan.



Nan: But I don't have any little ones of my own... 



Lois Paula: Yet.



Nan: ...yet, but I do have nieces and nephews, you know, and I also helped with the youth group in our local congregation, and I've come to learn that kids have such a wide range of personalities and influences so I can see why there isn't a one size fits all approach.



Lois Paula: Yes, and I'm glad you brought that up Nan, you are a teacher in the Children's Worship Service and so we're grateful for you and your help and you've seen my kids and you've helped raise them and our co-officers, you know in the office and whatnot. So we're grateful. It does take a village to raise a child so thank you in advance for all that you do for the youth in the Church Of Christ being a teacher in the Children's Worship Service. 



But yes for all our listeners who are new parents, maybe you're a grandparent or even that awesome aunt or uncle, like Nan, who is helping raise you know the kids in your household, this will be a fun and hopefully helpful listen to us all. So our guest today is actually a mom herself, who is also an educator, so let's welcome everyone Teresa Castro.



Nan: Hi Teresa.



Teresa: Hey everybody, thank you so much for having me. Hi.



Lois Paula: Hello. Now Teresa before we get started, can you introduce yourself to our listeners? How long have you and your husband been parents?



Teresa: We have been parents for 10 years, going on 11.

Building Confidence in Yourself and Others



[show open]



[lead in]



Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself. This podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.



Nan: Yeah, how kindness moves you to action, you yourself. Maybe it's just something you feel, something so good, it's contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness. Maybe you want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good.



Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We're your hosts, LP, and Nan. That's right. Our very own host also of the INC Media program Blueprint– Nan Zapanta.



Nan: Hi everyone. Hi LP.



LP: So Nan, today we are tackling you know a topic that might not seem like an obvious trait or characteristic that we need in order to help others, but it makes sense when you really think about it. Okay, today we discuss confidence. And for those who might not say you know it's not really needed you know to be kind to do good. Our guest today just might change your mind.



Nan: Yeah you know LP, it's really interesting what you mentioned about confidence, not being an obvious trait or characteristic, you know most people probably think, oh, you have to be nice. You have to be patient. You have to have a kind heart. You know those are the main traits that they associate with a person that wants to help others and I totally agree. Those are great traits and are definitely needed, but confidence, confidence is too and it makes total sense.



LP: Yes, and for any of our listeners who are on the fence, you know about going out and volunteering or reaching out to those who may need help– maybe you don't know where to start. You know I myself, you know, sometimes I doubt myself. I get a little bit timid, you know, maybe you feel like you're not qualified or you're not good enough to help as in you know you feel like what you have to offer isn't that valuable. But hopefully, today's discussion will dispel any doubt, and it will give you a push towards the right direction. So for today's show, let's welcome from Las Vegas, Nevada, Ludan Taquiqui. Hey Ludan.



Ludan: Hello.



Nan: Hey Ludan.



Ludan: Hey Nan.



Nan: Oh, it's so awesome to have you. I heard your story and I've met you in person, we've had cool discussions in person and it’s so cool to hear from you again.



Ludan: Oh most definitely. Same here.



Nan: So Ludan let's just jump right into it. You know we’re talking about confidence. You are an entrepreneur, you're a boxing trainer. When I was over there I was privileged to visit your gym and I got to see you and your students in action. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about your boxing training, the gym that I was able to visit, and your goal in helping your students?



Ludan: Okay so my boxing training, it's really to help people to better defend themselves. And also, basically living out my passion of sharing the talent that God gave me. And if you could share that with others, basically what happens is you get lost in time, when you get lost in time you just start to help people with unconditional love and energy. And it just, it just makes everything simple. 



Nan: I witnessed it first hand you know when, like I mentioned, I was able to visit you at the gym I don’t know if you remember, I was definitely not at the same level as you and your students but I got to see it happen and,

Doing Good One Step at a Time



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[lead in]



Lois Paula: Whether you're hoping to heal the world or heal yourself. This podcast is here for you to highlight how Kindness Moves.



Nan: Yes. And you might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your own community. Or maybe you just love the feeling of doing good.



Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness moves a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We'll tackle topics on volunteerism, on creating good habits for a positive mindset, on raising kids, or maintaining an attitude of gratitude, generosity even in entrepreneurism and so much more.



Nan: And we're your hosts, Nan, and LP.



Lois Paula: So Nan, we're bringing up something today that everyone gets. You know, we're human, and as much as we want to make our lives better you know by helping those around us, we all have limits. You know, we can admit it, we all get tired, we all get fatigued.



Nan: Right. You know, we feel it; all of us feel it today, especially with so much going on. And in today's world we all wear, you know, multiple hats. We're having to juggle sometimes more than we can handle, you know, all of us have so many different responsibilities and sometimes it just seems like we can't even catch our breath. So where can we possibly find the energy to continue helping other people if we can't even help ourselves or if we don't have the energy to help ourselves?



Lois Paula: Right. So well, to our listeners finding yourselves in the same boat, let's get re-energized together today. We have joining us in our episode, a Kindness Ambassador who will share what kindness moves she's made for lasting and continuous impact, despite fighting fatigue — a runner’s fatigue to be exact. So everyone let's welcome, Renezen Benedicto. Hi Renezen!



Nan: Hi.



Renezen: Hi, how are you guys?



Nan: Renezen, I just want to jump right into it because Renezen is such a unique name, but I have heard you being called by another name. Is there another name you go by?



Renezen: Yes, I have a few, but most people probably know me as Dimple.



Nan: Dimple, can you please explain — why do people call you Dimple?



Renezen: I have these monster holes on my face.



Lois Paula: Monster holes.



Nan: That sounds scary.



Renezen: It is, but they've been there since I was born, so like ever since I was a baby I've been known as Dimple.



Nan: Dimple. Okay, so it's pretty obvious why your name is Dimple, so thank you for clarifying. So Dimple, you are a runner and you recently finished a race that you participated in and you're also part of a running group in the Bay Area. So what is it about running that you love?



Renezen: You know I, to be honest, I never really liked running. I grew up playing sports and running was just that thing you had to do, but I think as, you know, as I got older and like, you know, everybody's busy, running just became this way for me to still go out there and do something active and not be dependent on people's schedule and stuff like that. And then after a while, it just became this way for me, you know, on busy days and days where it's really stressful, like work or with everything going on in life,