Some of us don’t engage with the rest of the world anymore not because the rest of the world sucks any more than it always has - but because you have built an intolerance for the world where you are not the dictator. 

As Siece Campbell put it, “your algorithm worships you. You are the only one who lives inside this tiny box, let’s say you’re spending 7+ hours on your phone every day, well those are hours that we used to spend in a reality in a world that didn’t revolve around you.”

We should all be worried about the rise of selfishness as a society because of an increase in addiction to convenience, isolation, comfort, and personal pleasure. She basically posits that we’re becoming so insulated from society that we’re becoming intolerant of the things that can actually bring us long term pleasure. 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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The brain’s main goal is to protect us, so when we ask it to do anything new (particularly if you are neurodivergent) it signals to the brain that there may be danger lurking - so it refuses to do it, because it believes that is what keeps us safe. Many brains looks at all new tasks like a hot stove. So how do we manage this? According to kdimerc we can:

1. Remove all unnecessary stoves. Look at the task objectively and ask yourself, “is this task really necessary or important?” If it’s not - take it off the burner completely, for now. 
2. Turn off the stove, if you are able to! This will be different for everyone, but it’s typically the things I suggest on this podcast to help you get motivated. Things like body doubling, brain hacks, pairing actions with other triggers, like this podcast, or songs, therapy and medication may help to turn off, or at least, turn down the heat on these stoves. 
3. Get really good at touching hot stoves. Like we have been discussing recently on the podcast, building your tolerance for distress is seemingly less and less optional at this point. But unfortunately there will be times where you can’t ignore a task, and you can’t make it less daunting, so you just have to power through the dread and do it anyway. 

While you may not be able to control your motivation to do a daunting task, you can control your mindset around it. You can come to accept the dread as part of the process. 

Watch Kdimerc’s video on the "Hot Stove Conundrum"

Read Beautiful Chaos’ blog post on "ADHD + The Hot Stovetop" 

Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our brain’s main goal is to protect us, so when we ask it to do anything new (particularly if you are neurodivergent) it signals to the brain that there may be danger lurking - so it refuses to do it, because it believes that is what keeps us safe. Many brains looks at all new tasks like a hot stove. So how do we manage this? According to kdimerc we can:

1. Remove all unnecessary stoves. Look at the task objectively and ask yourself, “is this task really necessary or important?” If it’s not - take it off the burner completely, for now. 
2. Turn off the stove, if you are able to! This will be different for everyone, but it’s typically the things I suggest on this podcast to help you get motivated. Things like body doubling, brain hacks, pairing actions with other triggers, like this podcast, or songs, therapy and medication may help to turn off, or at least, turn down the heat on these stoves. 
3. Get really good at touching hot stoves. Like we have been discussing recently on the podcast, building your tolerance for distress is seemingly less and less optional at this point. But unfortunately there will be times where you can’t ignore a task, and you can’t make it less daunting, so you just have to power through the dread and do it anyway. 

While you may not be able to control your motivation to do a daunting task, you can control your mindset around it. You can come to accept the dread as part of the process. 

Watch Kdimerc’s video on the "Hot Stove Conundrum"

Read Beautiful Chaos’ blog post on "ADHD + The Hot Stovetop" 

Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. 

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)

DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief Fund

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do we hold space for two contradictory ideas? How do we hold space for the reality that things won't always make sense?

We can't control everything, but we can build up our "tolerance for distress", which can lead us to wanting to control the stuff we can't, less.

The source: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/cost-benefit-analysis/

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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"Living systems theory has been so helpful to me. I think there is a drive within living systems to complexify, to wake up—there is an evolutionary movement. I speak out of the love and excitement generated by my little work, which many people are doing with me. It does require being able to experience pain. It does require tears and outrage. It does require positive disintegration. Our whole culture needs positive disintegration. It has to die to itself. So my Christian upbringing is relevant there: Good Friday and Easter, the necessity for death and rebirth. We are going to die as a culture, and it’s better for us to do it consciously, so we don’t inflict it on everyone else." - Joanna Macy 

The main source: https://www.activehope.info/

Read the interview with Joanna Macy.

Read the first few chapters of the book ACTIVE HOPE.

Read Faron Sage's Article.

Read more from Joanna Macy.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Today we talk about what Joanna Macy and Chris Johnstone's book Active Hope. Specifically the three stages of dealing with the current crisis.

1. “Business as Usual” - Those who refuse to change. The people that believe that the current system is the best or only way.

1. “The Great Unravelling” - Those who are inundated with despair about the fact that people are still in "business as usual" mode. The people that believe that the world is in serious decline + feel hopeless + helpless.

1. “The Great Turning” - Those who are working “to transition from a doomed economy of industrial growth to a life-sustaining society committed to the recovery of our world.”

Where are you? I waffle between 1, 2, and 3 seemingly all the time, but I spend most of my time in 2.

Read the first few chapters of the book ACTIVE HOPE.

Read Faron Sage's Article.

Read more from Joanna Macy.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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America has a habit of blaming poor people + immigrants for the problems that policy makers create. Stop letting the oppressors scapegoat the oppressed, and start focusing your outrage on the people who perpetuate (and profit from) this harmful false narrative.

The Big Short Script: https://www.sellingyourscreenplay.com/wp-content/uploads/screenplay/scripts/The-Big-Short.pdf

The "Careful, that foreigner wants your cookie" Meme: https://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/lwssxm/america_summed_up/

The "average taxpayer pays $36 in SNAP vs $300 corporate bailouts" meme: https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/1kjoekc/request_is_this_accurate/

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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"Perhaps the greatest failure of liberal democracies is their historical failure to successfully protect the vital economic and security interests of their less advantaged citizens through their institutions."

"It is a cruel irony that this great promise of democracy is rarely realized in practice."

"The job of trade unions, parties, and even radical social movements is precisely to institutionalize unruly protest and anger. Their function is, one might say, to try to translate anger, frustration, and pain into a coherent political program that can be the basis of policy making and legislation."

"As Martin Luther King, Jr., noted, “a riot is the language of the unheard.” Large-scale disruption, riot, and spontaneous defiance have always been the most potent political recourse of the poor. Such activity is not without structure. It is structured by informal, self-organized, and transient networks of neighborhood, work, and family that lie outside the formal institutions of politics. This is structure alright, just not the kind amenable to institutionalized politics."

JAMES C. SCOTT - TWO CHEERS FOR ANARCHISM

More from James C. Scott: https://politicalscience.yale.edu/people/james-scott

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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How do we really know anything? Well, it starts by connecting with what you feel.

Faron Sage's article: "How Do We Make Heads or Tails of What's Going On?"

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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It's that time again, where we take a step back and check in with the cop in our heads.

“One day you will be called upon to break a big law in the name of justice and rationality. Everything will depend on it. You have to be ready. How are you going to prepare for that day when it really matters? You have to stay "in shape" so that when the big day comes you will be ready. What you need is "anarchist calisthenics." Every day or so break some trivial law that makes no sense, even if it’s only jaywalking. Use your own head to judge whether a law is just or reasonable. That way, you'll keep trim; and when the big day comes, you'll be ready.” - James C. Scott Two Cheers for Anarchism

MochaEinstein: https://www.tiktok.com/@mochaeinstein27

Mocha Einstein's video: https://www.tiktok.com/@mochaeinstein27/video/7557378325279214861

TheOfficialJaiButle's video: rhttps://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DxV84u/ 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your brain does what is reliable, not what is best. It does what is safe, not what is productive. Our culture has shaped each and every one of us through rules + repetition.

How has society tampered down the way you connect to your body and to others? How has society's expectations stifled you? How have our societal norms impacted the way you feel? and react?

Can you buck some of those norms for a bit of nervous system regulation? If you can find a moment alone, scream. If you can find a moment to dance? Dance. Cry if you need to cry.

Address the ways you've been holding yourself back from feeling your feelings, to appease some made up rules.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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optimize your cues + your environment to create + reinforce better habits + discourage your "not so good" ones.

Time cues < (paired with another) action cues. "I will do this at 7 am every single day" is waaaaay harder to commit to than committing to something with something else, "I will do this after I do that."

Intrinsic motivation > external rewards

Tweak your environment to reduce the friction between you and your desired habit.

Set yourself up for success + visualize it! Don't visualize the work.

https://www.joincarbon.com/blog/the-neuroscience-of-habit-formation

Use findhelp.org is an amazing website where you can type in your zip code and it will show you free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more. 

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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You can, in fact, teach an old dog new tricks - if you use a couple of old ones.

Habits are formed and reinforced through repetition, salience (how much it stands out), time, intensity, specificity. Today we talk about what that means.

1. https://www.carolinafnc.com/post/10-principles-of-neuroplasticity
2. https://www.joincarbon.com/blog/the-neuroscience-of-habit-formation

Use findhelp.org is an amazing website where you can type in your zip code and it will show you free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more. 

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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Repetition is how we learn, so be careful what (and who) you're listening to.

The source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-main-ingredient/202509/harnessing-the-power-of-repetition-for-good-and-evil

More reading: https://www.neurolab360.com/blog/principles-of-neuroplasticity-repetition-matters

Use findhelp.org is an amazing website where you can type in your zip code and it will show you free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more. 

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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Today we talk about how to build your tolerance for discomfort.

THE SOURCE: https://shoesandshots.substack.com/p/discomfort-is-the-price-you-pay-for

Further reading: https://www.outsideonline.com/health/training-performance/dealing-pain-discomfort/

and: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/living-well-when-your-body-doesnt-cooperate/202405/stretching-distress-tolerance

Use findhelp.org is an amazing website where you can type in your zip code and it will show you free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more. 

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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It's not about giving in, and it's not about fighting it. Sometimes, you can just observe, ride the wave, and allow it to pass.

Resisting Impulse Spending: https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/holiday-shopping-personal-finance-spending.html

Urge Surfing: https://www.dartmouth-hitchcock.org/sites/default/files/2021-03/urge-surfing.pdf

Stop impulse Spending Hacks: https://bodybrainalliance.com/stop-impulse-spending-with-these-4-behavior-change-hacks

Use findhelp.org is an amazing website where you can type in your zip code and it will show you free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more. 

PLEASE Watch Kendra Austin's video on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DyB7xE/

The incomparable Dollar Tree Dinners: https://www.youtube.com/@DollarTreeDinners

How to make Sandwich Bread: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DyEXum/

Cheap vegan friendly grocery inspiration: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DyqykN/

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You are not a failure if you’re struggling right now, though it may feel like it. But your value and worth is not reflected in your ability to pay your bills that don’t stop growing, and your ability to get up and do anything beyond work that never stops coming. 

Poverty is a systemic failing, not a personal failing.

Remember you can’t really think straight when you’re really “broke” (I don’t use the word “broke” lightly, I genuinely think it’s the government’s attempt to break us as individuals) so don't be hard on yourself if you're not thinking straight.

Use findhelp.org is an amazing website where you can type in your zip code and it will show you free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more. 

PLEASE Watch Kendra Austin's video on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DyB7xE/

The incomparable Dollar Tree Dinners: https://www.youtube.com/@DollarTreeDinners

How to make Sandwich Bread: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DyEXum/

Cheap vegan friendly grocery inspiration: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DyqykN/

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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Did you know you can "hack your brain" for things beyond your productivity? You can become more resilient, more conscious, more in control, through a few simple practices.

It's not about avoiding anything that makes us feel sad, but it's about becoming conscious of the process of engaging with it.

It's not about the content, but the process. Empowering vs. Disempowering yourself.

INSPIRED BY: https://adriennemareebrown.net/

and https://everythingispolitical.com/readings/your-nervous-system-under-fascism-a-decolonial-polyvagal-exploration

Very Well Mind on Brain plasticity: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-brain-plasticity-2794886#:~:text=Strengthening%20existing%20pathways:%20Neurons%20that,adapt%20to%20the%20changing%20environment.

Resources for Resisting a Coup: https://makeyourdamnbed.medium.com/practical-guides-to-resisting-a-coup-b44571b9ad66

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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Feeling disconnected or unsure? Dr. Pat suggests:

Body Check-In: When you consume news about social or political issues, what sensations do you notice in your body? Do you feel tense, numb, energized?

Triggers and Ancestry: Think about a recent moment you felt fear or shut down in response to authority or conflict. How might this reaction connect to your community’s historical or ancestral experiences?

Finding Ventral Vagal: What people, places, or practices help you feel safe and connected? How can you incorporate more of these in daily life, especially when fear in society is high?

From Reaction to Response: Recall a time you reacted in anger or froze up around an authoritarian figure/stressor. With compassion for yourself, consider how, if you had felt more grounded or supported, you might have responded differently? What support or boundaries would help in future similar situations?

Collective Care: How can you contribute to a sense of safety and solidarity in your community? Could you start a trauma-informed discussion group, a community care circle, or simply check on neighbors more often?

SOURCE: https://everythingispolitical.com/readings/your-nervous-system-under-fascism-a-decolonial-polyvagal-exploration

Dr. Pat's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pat.radical.therapist/?hl=en

Dr. Pat's substack: https://patradicaltherapist.substack.com/

Dr. Pat's original post: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1281714603957641&set=pcb.1281714660624302

Resources for Resisting a Coup: https://makeyourdamnbed.medium.com/practical-guides-to-resisting-a-coup-b44571b9ad66

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund: www.pcrf.net

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica 

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know you can "hack your brain" for things beyond your productivity? You can become more resilient, more conscious, more in control, through a few simple practices.

It's not about avoiding anything that makes us feel sad, but it's about becoming conscious of the process of engaging with it.

It's not about the content, but the process. Empowering vs. Disempowering yourself.

INSPIRED BY: https://adriennemareebrown.net/

and https://everythingispolitical.com/readings/your-nervous-system-under-fascism-a-decolonial-polyvagal-exploration

Very Well Mind on Brain plasticity: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-brain-plasticity-2794886#:~:text=Strengthening%20existing%20pathways:%20Neurons%20that,adapt%20to%20the%20changing%20environment.

Resources for Resisting a Coup: https://makeyourdamnbed.medium.com/practical-guides-to-resisting-a-coup-b44571b9ad66

SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!): https://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed

DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund: www.pcrf.net

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica 

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.