What should you wear as you climb into bed with your husband for a lovemaking night? Sarah invites you to consider: Wearing something that makes you feel good. 1. It might feel good in terms of comfort. It might feel cozy and comforting on your skin and keep you warm. 2. It might make you feel good because it looks good on you. It's your color. The cut and fit suit you and flatter you. That's another wonderful reason to wear something to bed! 3. It might make you feel good b...

What is a sex sabbatical? How do you know if you need one? What do you do during it, and how do you change up your dynamic afterwards? In this episode, Sarah shares how a sex sabbatical can be a helpful way to reset your love life in marriage. If you're in a cycle of obligation sex, forcing yourself to have painful sex, or just feeling burnt out, used, or resentful about sex in your marriage, a sex sabbatical can be just what a wife needs. It can give her the time to reflect on how she got to...

What does the Blessed Virgin Mary have to do with your love life as a Catholic wife? Is it even appropriate to turn to her for help in this area, seeing as she is a virgin--the Virgin of virgins, in fact? Yes! She is the passionate spouse of the Holy Spirit, and you do not need to be shy of asking her help with this intimate sanctuary of your marriage. -Mary is the perfect model of active receptivity. This concept can help you grow in your love life. Some women need to develop the "acti...

So many moms feel touched out by the end of the day and don't want their husband to touch them, especially not in lovemaking. How do you handle this? In this episode, Sarah shares 4 tips for handling that touched-out feeling that affects moms with young kids as well as other hands-on caregivers. 1. Set boundaries with your kids to save yourself from some of the unwanted touches throughout the day--for example, teach them not to tug at your clothes, if that drives you nuts. 2. Take...

Mary Bruno wrote Missing Pieces: Female Perspectives on Sex for Catholic Women in response to a lack of women's voices among the popular speakers and authors who are most well-known for bringing messages about theology of the body and Catholic teachings on sex and marriage. The theology and teachings are beautiful and true, but they implicitly assume that sex will be pleasurable. What if it's painful, as up to 75% of women will experience at some point in their lives? What if they...

How do you find time for sex when you'e a busy mom with young kids? First, Sarah shares three mindset shifts, plus a bonus note on attitudes about motherhood: 1. You NEED to make time for your marriage. You don't find it, you make it. You need to make time for emotional connection with your husband, and also for sex. Ideally, you want both of them together, but if you only have time for one, consider prioritizing emotional connection first. Consider scheduling it, and have an attitude that ac...

In this episode, Sarah welcomes special guest Nathan Bartel... her husband! Sarah asks Nathan about what led him to create his Holy Desires course for husbands. Along the way, they chat about: Philosophy (Nathan's Master's degree from CUA and his love of Aristotle)VirtueStruggles Husbands Face (mismatched libidos in marriage, not knowing how their wives' sexuality works, and finding the time amidst work and kids)Sex in Three Acts (Act I: Beforeplay + Foreplay, Act II: Intercourse, Act I...

If you're using NFP to avoid pregnancy (TTA), how can you thrive in your marriage with the abstinence period in your fertile window? How do you stay close? What sort of physical affection and touch is appropriate? (No genital stimulation for intentional arousal.) How can you harness the extra boost from the ovulation hormones to set yourself up for better lovemaking once you get the green light again? MORE RESOURCES 50% off The Wedding Night and Beyond course! https://canafeast.com/weddin...

Maybe you're a Catholic wife with sex struggles in your marriage, but you think, "Oh well, that's just how it is." In this episode, Sarah lays out five reasons why it's worth your bother to figure out how to make things better for you. 1. You're worth it. 2. Sex is the body language of the wedding vows, so learning how to communicate the messages of love in those vows well is important. 3. The practice of improving your experience of your love life can strengthen your marriage.&nb...

What about having sex during your period (as a married Catholic woman)? What are some things to think about? There are no moral prohibitions to this in the Catholic faith. Different NFP methods may have guidance around avoiding period sex if you're trying to avoid pregnancy. Some women may just avoid it because they assume it's yucky, but in this episode, Sarah challenges this thought. It is beautiful to be a woman, and having a period is part of the goodness of God's plan in creating women.&...

Are quick lovemaking sessions (less than 20-30 min or so) a good idea in your Catholic marriage, or not? In this episode, Sarah offers some cautionary and probing questions meant to identify if quickies are helping build your unity and connection or if they're reinforcing bad habits in your love life. She draws on quotes from Church documents to identify some principles to help you discern whether they're serving the highest goals of marriage. While the Catholic Church does not offer specific...

What gets you in the mood? That's an accelerator. What are you libido-killers? Those are your breaks. In this episode, Sarah describes common brakes and accelerators for women. She shares some ideas for how to learn what your own personal brakes and accelerators are, and suggests how you can use this knowledge in order to optimize your love life in your marriage. Resources mentioned in this episode. Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski (a book by a secular researcher on female sexuality0 "L...

How grave do your reasons need to be to use NFP to avoid pregancy? The precise language the Church uses in Humanae Vitae discussing the kinds of reasons legitimating using NFP actually refers to "just reasons," "serious reasons," or "well-grounded reasons." The phrase "grave reason" is a mistranslation which gives the misleading impression that you have to be practically on death's doorstep or so broke you're eating dirt in order to use NFP to avoid. In this episode, Sarah looks a...

Can you use NFP with a contraceptive mentality? Is this something to beware of? No. Sarah debunks the false worry that NFP users need to watch out for using NFP with a contraceptive mentality. She looks at the origin of the phrase in magisterial Catholic documents in its context to discover what the "contraceptive mentality" actually refers to, and points to additional references. References for This Episode: Magisterial Catholic Church Documents: Humanae vitae Familiaris consortio (198...

What is this idea of marital debt? Where is it in the Catechism, or in other official magisterial Church documents? (Hint: It's not actually there!) What does a belief in marital debt do to a married Catholic or Christian woman? In this episode, Sarah tackles marital debt head-on, debunking the idea that obligation sex for wives is the teaching of the Church. She shares quotes from official church teachings and looks to a common quote from the Supplement to the Summa (not actually written by ...

How do you lovingly decline your husband's initiation of sex in a way that is still connecting and that doesn't feel like such a harsh personal rejection to him? In this episode, you'll learn how to put your "no" inside a Positivity Sandwich that affirms him and your desire to be connected in your relationship. *I address women declining husbands' initiations in this episode, but this technique is also very good for husbands to use when declining their wife's initiation, also! ...

The Abundant Catholic marriage course is on sale for 50% off (coupon code: JOY) until Thurs, June 10th in honor of the upcoming feast of Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin!🌹 Learn more at canafeast.com/abundant Yes, life is busy... but that doesn't mean you can let your marriage stagnate on the back burner. Here are three reasons why you NEED to keep growing in your marriage and relationship skills, as well as some ideas for how to work on your marriage. 1. Continuing education is import...

In this episode, I’m joined by my husband Nathan as we share three keys to building emotional intimacy in marriage, inspired by Saints Louis and Zélie Martin. You will hear about how this saintly couple put faith at the center of their relationship, and how they stayed connected and united to each other while honoring each other’s differences. We also share practical examples from our own marriage and offer a lot of encouragement along the way! If you want to join my husband and I...

Are you not enjoying sex in your Catholic marriage? I bet I know why. It's likely at least one of these top 3 reasons that come up with women all the time in my coaching. 1. Obligation sex. 2. Not enough foreplay 3. Not enough emotional connection Women, your enjoyment of sex matters just as much as your husband's pleasure! You are created equal. Know your worth as a woman. Resources mentioned in this show: Ellen Holloway's Charting Towards Intimacy podcast! 😍 Obligation Sex artic...

What can parents do to help prevent sexual abuse of their kids AND raise them to have a balanced, shame-free attitude towards their bodies? What should you do if your child keeps touching themselves? Dr. Julia Sadusky, a licensed clinical psychologist, and author, shares how Catholic parents can talk to their children and teens about sex in a healthy, helpful way. Dr. Sadusky shares practical advice for addressing: early childhood curiositysetting boundaries and fostering open communicat...