Look at your hand.
Look at the bracelet you’re wearing.
Look at the shirt you’re wearing.
Anything that inspires you to feel grounded, or the floor, or centered — or any of those words we always use — or an object you can touch, that you can feel engaged with. The table right here, the desk, your knee.
Hold your hand.
See if you can feel engaged with that.
And then see the man, see your boss, see whatever you see — see your work ahead of you — and don’t get lost in the picture for a minute.
I’m here.
See if that feels more deep.
So instead of “grounded” or “centered,” let’s call it being deep inside you — connected with you, engaged with you.
Now tell me:
Do you feel the need to ask a question of this person?
Or do you kind of feel quiet inside?
If you suddenly feel quiet inside, then there’s no need to ask a question.
So what is going on with your vibe now that you’re down there?
Are you feeling angry at him because he’s not engaging with you, and it creates this need inside you?
Are you feeling frustrated that you’re in this moment of discomfort?
Or do you feel, oh, I just needed to drop down — I just needed to feel me?
I need to feel inside me.
I need to feel self.
Self.
We talk about self-respect, self-regard, self-love… but how about you just feel self?
Me.
Say me.
Say self.
You feel that full vibration, that full aliveness of me.
And yes, it can make you feel anxious that they will go away if you’re not reaching out.
Of course. So pull it back in. Pull that anxiety, that worry about them, back inside.
Drop it down inside you.
It often feels like a reach-out — like a tentacle going out — and then it becomes words, a question.
So what we want to do is notice when that’s happening.
Notice when you feel the need to reach out… and pull it back inside.
Feel the loneliness.
Feel what’s at the bottom of the feeling that makes you think you need to engage the other human. Turn to a dog, a cat. Feel presence. Feel pleasure.
All of a sudden it feels like an invitation.
So what we’re really saying is: whenever you feel the need to reach out and ask — even to someone at work, someone on your team — pause and ask yourself:
What is the root of that feeling of need?
Because it may not be a need at all.
You can join us at Siren Island and step into this living, breathing feminine space anytime.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
We’re talking about dating as opposed to deep relationships.
So I think in this segment I’m going to go into if you’re deeper into a relationship and there’s so much more baggage and history when you attempt to connect rather than separate through your words, and by getting down into what it is you want when you are already so untaken care of and you have so much anger and all kinds of stuff going on.
What I’d like to start with is first a recap of this whole process that I’m talking about.
We're starting from a scratch— and if you're not in a loving relationship that feels extraordinary and you’re super happy and amazing...
If you’re still not there yet, the way I certainly was until I was 40, then you, like me, have been spending all of your energy literally saying that you want love, but literally pushing it away.
That all of your energy has been going into pushing love away, not pulling it in.
That your whole—you come to me here with the energetic machine of pushing men away automatically.
You’re good at it, and you do it.
Even though it sounds and feels like something else to you. It feels like you’re not lucky, or the bad men.
It's you pushing men away and love away on purpose, because that is your inner self trying to protect you.
So let’s switch that!
On Siren Island, you can work with my Rori Raye Coaches every day, in the community, and live over Zoom in five different classes through the month.
You can have everything you want from your feminine energy.
Siren Island is only $33 each month, and you’ll have me and everyone with you here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
So, connection. What does connection feel like?
I’m really talking to faith-based women and non–faith-based women who can come with me into a spiritual place.
And when I say a spiritual place, it’s ephemeral.
It’s not concrete.
The people around you don’t know what you’re talking about.
They may think you are silly.
They may think you’re a “silly feeler” with spiritual leanings.
I want you to realize how much you are trying to block that stuff.
I don’t know a single woman who is not actually a spiritual person.
You have the ability to build cells in your body.
What could that possibly be?
You know, cells go bad in your body—and you can heal.
That’s something completely different.
That’s connection: to your body, to life, to self, to everything.
Just speaking about it—do you feel like we’re in another world that I could call spiritual?
We’re speaking about what I can’t do with a needle or scissors.
We’re speaking about what heals.
When you break your leg, isn’t it amazing that it heals by itself?
Yes, it’s a function of the way your body works, but it’s kind of magical because you don’t know exactly how it works.
Siren Island is where you can practice the magical feminine state of being with me and my Feminine Siren Coaches.
The live classes, the practices, the community, the tools—
all created to help you feel safe in your feminine power so you can use it everywhere in your life.
Join us here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Your feeling state is your truth.
It’s not what you want him to do or how you wish things looked.
It’s the pulse that lives deep inside you — the craving, the warmth, the tension, the peace.
As soon as you drop down into that, everything shifts.Stop wanting him to act differently.
Stop trying to fix.
Instead, notice what you feel.
Maybe it’s uncomfortable, maybe it’s even ugly — and that’s perfect.
Feeling is safety.
Safe to be, safe to feel, safe to exist in your own body without performing for love.
Your mind wants to keep you safe by controlling, planning, protecting.
But your body — your heart, your feminine core — already loves you.
The moment you let yourself feel, peace begins.
Power begins.
Pleasure begins.
You don’t get there by doing more.
You get there by softening — by letting your energy move down, into your belly, your heart, your body.
That’s where your life starts breathing again.
That’s the feminine way: stop doing and start being.
Siren Island is where you can practice this feminine state of being with me and my Feminine Siren Coaches.
The live classes, the practices, the community, the tools—
all created to help you feel safe in your feminine power so you can use it everywhere in your life.
Join us here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
There’s something that feels almost taboo to talk about in dating, and that’s this desire for men to be more initiating.
Many women wonder, Can I even want that? Can I ask for that?
What I’ve noticed—especially watching something like Love Is Blind—is that people often come together because their patterns recognize each other.
On the surface, it looks like compatibility. But over time, what was hidden starts to show.
Niceness can cover a lot.
Sometimes what looks gentle at first turns out to be demanding, or even controlling.
It takes time to get to someone’s real nature.
So let’s talk about wants versus expectations.
Expectations are patterns.
Wants are deeper.
Just because you want something doesn’t mean it will happen—but wanting is where everything starts.
The problem is, many of us don’t actually know what we want anymore.
Our desires have been shaped by what we were told we should want.
When you say, “I want him to lead,” what you usually mean isn’t a list of behaviors.
You don’t want him to perform masculinity correctly.
What you want is to feel something—to relax, to soften, to drop out of your head and into yourself.
And when you connect there, something shifts.
Connection comes before behavior, not the other way around.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Do you really want a man who is really hemming you in?
Because I have to tell you, there are men out there who would look at you and say, “Wow, you are amazing.”Why would you want a man who says, “I resent you… I feel competitive with you”?
I love watching celebrity couples because they show us so much about what happens when two highly successful, competitive people try to build a relationship.
How does it work out?How did J-Lo — Jennifer Lopez — and Ben love each other so much that they wanted to come together three times, only for it to end in disappointment every time?
She’s just like us: “I’ll try again. I’ll fill it with roses and wonder.”
But over time, the period she’s willing to put up with disappointment grows shorter and shorter.
If you’re curious about how your Love Siren and Business Siren patterns connect — or want help identifying your Business Siren Type — we’d love to explore it with you inside Siren Island, the home for this whole journey.
You’ll find live classes, special bonus trainings, events, and so much more waiting for you.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
**The Question:**
My boyfriend of four months is sometimes quite lazy in bed. Ha ha. Meaning he lets me do most of the work. He may be tired, but I feel there’s something deeper. He’s normally quite masculine. What can I do?
From Rori:
So when you say you’re “doing the work” — are you doing it on him, or on yourself?
Sex is… you know, it’s many things.
It can be slow and tantric.
It can be touch-oriented, breathing together, looking into each other’s eyes — just *feeling*.
It’s so much touching.
And it doesn’t even have to mean intercourse.
It’s energy.
It’s an exchange.
The joy is the *experience* — that incredible, orgasmic freedom that lets your spirit flutter right out of your body and fly around the room.
That wild, sacred release that feels like freedom.
You can do that on your own, yes — but it’s even more powerful in his presence.
Just lay there on your back and say, “I just wanna lay here like a couch — could you please f my brains out?”
Try that next time!
Take off all your clothes and say, > “I want you to just… make me crazy,” and watch what happens.
Siren Island is where we practice voicing what you want like this — together.
Where you’ll learn to feel safe in your feminine power and to express your desire in every area of life — with love, with laughter, with softness, with fire.
There're live classes, embodiment practices, a sisterhood that holds you while you explore, and tools that help you live this way *everywhere*.
Siren Island is here: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Teal is one of my Rori Raye coach Superstars, and she has already taught two full masterclasses inside the Siren Island Community.Today, she’s back to share how she became a true “Feminifestor” — in love, in partnership, and in the way men respond to her.I don’t talk about Law of Attraction very often, and yet many of my trained coaches and so many of my clients become master Feminifestors in their own lives.This is a special sneak peek of MAN-ifest — an introduction to the energetics of calling in a committed, emotionally available partner, and a preview of what Teal will be teaching in depth during the upcoming 5-day MAN-ifest experience.I hope you love this introduction to Teal’s event — I’ll be there!✨ Join Teal’s 5-Day Virtual Party Here:https://www.tealelisabeth.com/a/2148190876/FUg42oqzLove, Rori
If you’re in a marriage or a relationship with a guy who’s like a 20–30% — as a rule, anything under 50% as a rule — maybe pops up every now and then into an 80% and then he pops back down, and you just feel always like a pull towards him, like he’s pulling on you.
That’s your clue.
The way you deal with that marriage and make it better: you step back.
You disconnect the part of you that is doing the work.
You disconnect the “I’m doing the work.”
You disconnect the weight on the 20%, the 30%, the 80%.
You disconnect the anger because you know he’s below 50% as a rule.
You do not trust him.
You do not feel good about him.
You are unhappy on many levels.
And so you are angry.
You’ve got to get in touch with that.
You’ve got to deal with that.
You’ve got to feel that.
You’ve got to step back and stop saving the marriage.
Stop it!
He’s never felt you step back and get bored with him.
And if you’re not on Siren Island, all of this may sound incredibly new to you — when you’re feeling in your Feminine Energy…
everything feels better (even when things aren’t going the way you want…).
The Siren Island Course & Community is here to help you find your Feminine Energy, feel it fully, and live from it!
Everything changes once you experience your emotions instead of shoving them away… your power starts to bubble up and give you faith in yourself.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
We’ve been taught that leadership means being in control, being the smartest one in the room, keeping everything tight and contained.
But that isn’t actually where your power is.
Your power is in your emotional presence.
When you let yourself feel at work—joy, disappointment, pride, frustration—you become magnetic. People trust you more. They open to you. They follow you because they can feel you leading, not just instructing.
Feminine leadership is not weak. It is impactful.
It changes the room.
It changes the team.
It changes the way you relate to yourself.
And yes, it takes practice to feel safe being seen like that.
It takes support.
It takes sisterhood.
It takes a space where we practice softness, boundaries, expression, and being deeply held.
Siren Island is where you can practice with me and my Feminine Siren Coaches.
The live classes, the practices, the community, the tools—
all created to help you feel safe in your feminine power so you can use it everywhere in your life.
https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/
Love, Rori
Most men — real, grounded, emotionally available men — want to treat you like a queen.
They want to adore you, provide for you, and see you light up when you feel safe and cherished.
The challenge isn’t finding those men — it’s recognizing them, and allowing yourself to receive what they offer.
So many women attach to men who aren’t ready, who don’t want to grow — and in doing that, they stop their own growth, too.
But when you begin to trust yourself, to hold your boundaries, to stay free while open… everything shifts.
You start to see the calm, steady men — the ones who already see you as “enough.”
Don’t you think that free-spirited women are the most attractive women in the world? So wouldn’t we want to be that?
Every month on The Siren Island Official Course & Community, I’ll be there to answer your questions and help you get clear on the big-ticket things you want—and then express those wants to men.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island
Love, Rori
Being messy is one of the first steps to being free.
How could you possibly go from being constricted and choosing men who don’t give you real love to being free enough to have amazing relationships and an amazing life?
On the way to your feminine energy, everything comes apart.
You have to untangle the beads before you can make a new necklace.
It’s going to be messy — but that’s how you begin to breathe again.
When you hide your emotions, your nervous system breaks down.
Stress overloads you, and the patterns that once kept you safe start to crumble.
That’s when the feminine arrives — in the chaos, in the feeling, in the honesty of who you really are.
Because when you finally let yourself be messy — when you stop trying to hold it all together — that’s the moment your feminine energy wakes up.
This is the heart of feminine energy — and Siren Island will help you live it every day.
The Siren Island Official Course & Community will get you where you want to go in every part of your life because you'll finally learn how to live from your Feminine Energy.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Sometimes the man you’re drawn to brings out fear, anger, or pain. And when he finally shows up, what you feel isn’t joy… it’s relief.
Have you noticed that when you feel afraid most of the time, everything starts to feel heavy — even your relationships?That little rush of chemistry or passion can feel like love, but real love feels different. It feels safe. Steady. Connected.If he isn’t truly showing up — if you’re carrying the whole relationship — that’s not love. That’s fear running the show.You deserve something real. That’s why I created The Rori Raye Feminine Energy Siren Island — a space to heal your emotions, learn how to recognize real love, and grow your ability to have it all just by being your authentic girl-self.Siren Island is here:https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/Love, Rori
We’re not broken — it’s trauma! Many of us choose partners who aren’t good for us, sometimes even narcissists or psychopaths, and blame ourselves.
It’s your background, not your worth.We’ve been taught to stay small, and yet the healing begins when we expand.Try this:Stretch your arms wide. Feel the edges of the room, the mountain, the ocean.
As you grow bigger, the man you’re pining for suddenly feels smaller.You don’t have to choose between love and anger — your bigness lets you feel them all at once.
You just need to feel the feelings.In The Rori Raye Feminine Energy Siren Island, you’ll learn my Feminine Energy tools to feel stronger — inside yourself and in front of a man, now and forever, no matter where you’re starting from.Here’s Siren Island:https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/Love, Rori
He Wants You Mad!
Some men provoke anger on purpose.
When he’s defensive or distant, it’s often guilt—he already feels he’s not doing enough.
If you explode, he gets the alibi he needs to pull away: “See? You’re always angry.”
Step out of that trap.
Take two slow steps back, say nothing, and let his words land.
Don’t feed the guilt loop.
The shift in energy alone can change the whole dynamic.
Many of us feel drawn to the men who give the least, while dismissing the good ones.
That isn’t weakness—it’s subconscious self-protection.
The first step toward change is to notice the pattern and stop giving away your life-force to men who won’t meet you halfway.
Lean back.
Breathe.
Protect your energy.
When you stop reacting, you break the cycle and reclaim your power to choose love that feels safe, healthy, and mutual.
Bring the tools off the podcast and into your life.
Join Siren Island for live classes, a replay library, and a warm, supportive community.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
What saved me was circular dating.
the simple decision to keep meeting people, stay social, and treat all men as equal until one puts a ring on your finger.
For years I believed that once I kissed someone, I had to be exclusive.
That mindset kept me stuck.
Circular dating freed me to connect, to heal through being social—even coffee dates, language meetups, or just standing and letting people talk to me.
Most of us choose men who don’t truly choose us because our subconscious wants us to stay single—it’s trying to protect us from old pain handed down by family, childhood, and even generations.
The key is learning to feel instead of suppress.
Feelings are the healing!
When we make all men equal and express ourselves honestly—especially when triggered—we begin to love from a place of power instead of fear.
Want to learn my Circular Dating tools in real life with coaching and support?
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Why have you chosen a complicated, difficult relationship?
Why are we choosing complex, difficult relationships?
Because we want to.
Yes—you’re afraid of intimacy.
You’re afraid of commitment.
Do you choose men who make you pine for them?
It is all us.
It’s all you.
Why do I want this complexity?
We are all choosing to match what happened with our parents.
The discomfort of love and relationship—the pain of bad relationships—actually becomes our norm in our brains.
And we keep trying to repeat it.
We are trusting our chemical attraction and following that… more than we are following our actual want.
The conflict is this:
I want security.
I want ease.
I want to feel relaxed.
But just waiting for him to do stuff, and spending your life waiting—
that is a choice we make because we really don’t want a relationship.
You’ve been trained to choose what’s difficult.
But it can feel natural—even easy—to want connection, commitment, and love - and start baby-step by baby step to let love in!
On Siren Island you’ll have access to tools, guides, and live personal coaching.
Try Siren Island for a month for only $33.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
If you find yourself taking the responsibility for the relationship and the apologeticness of the conflicts that happen all the time… if you’re always trying to solve stuff, excusing him for bad behavior, and it’s always in 60/40, 70/30 mode where you’re doing most of it—something’s wrong.
The Modern Siren tools work—sometimes so well that a man who isn’t truly ready can still look like he is.
That’s why the real power isn’t just in using the tools—it’s in going deeper, listening to your intuition, and choosing only the love that’s real.
It fools you because he’s able to step up when he wants to.
And by the way, this is a narcissist’s whole ability for roping in women—they’re really good at convincing you they’ve got the goods.
They can convince you for months, even years, and then their real self shows up.
You don’t get to have a long-distance relationship because you can’t handle it, because we choose difficult relationships for a reason.
This is something I want you to ask yourself: Why am I choosing a difficult relationship?
Difficult would be a long distance.
I don’t get to touch him.
He doesn’t get to smell me.
He doesn’t get to feel me.
So how can he actually feel anything? He can’t.
Learn more about Siren Island here: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
You already have a script inside you — from your parents, your school, your society, your religion.
But are you actually living your life on your playbook or somebody else’s?
Many women wake up in midlife realizing they’ve been following someone else’s rules the whole time.
The truth is: the man in front of you may be a partner in your life, but he is not the center of your life.
You are the center of your life.
When you begin to shift into your own center, fear comes up — because it means facing the parts of yourself that have stayed small or quiet out of habit. But those baby steps into your own gravity are where empowerment starts.
When you take baby steps, you’re not just changing habits — you’re meeting yourself.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
If you ever find yourself feeling invisible in a room with your man and his friends, pause and ask: Why am I here?
If this is an everyday pattern, that’s a red flag.
But if he’s otherwise a great guy, don’t force yourself into his moments with his buddies.
Instead, notice your feelings and share them with warmth: “I love that you have such great friends, and I also feel a little left out. I want more time with you—what do you think?”
The key is knowing what you truly want, not reshaping a man to fit you.
If his lifestyle leaves you aching, that’s valuable information. And while you figure it out, don’t collapse into desperation.
Circular Dating — being social, having options, letting yourself be seen — protects your heart and builds sanity.
When you stop pushing and start living fully, your vibe shifts. You feel safe, empowered, and magnetic again.
https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/
Love, Rori