In this episode, we discuss the three principles of quantum physics as laid out in Dr. Laura Berman's book Quantum Love. Did you know that your energy can change your relationship? And that your heart is a powerful influence on your family?
If you'd like to learn more, you can also visit this blog on my website.
Download The Princess and The Peeve Emotion Assessment here.
My guest today is Kari Cravalho, a coach for working moms and moms looking to return to the workforce. Through 1:1 and small group coaching, she offers moms a place to show up as is and explore what they truly want and need as they balance motherhood, career, and self.
I loved what she had to say about finding our essence and using those interests and goals as a guide while we navigate work at home and outside the home.
Summary:
Career Paths and Life Transitions
Beth and Kari had a detailed discussion about their career paths and experiences. Beth shared her expertise in coaching women undergoing transitions, particularly working mothers. Kari, on the other hand, talked about her background in human resources, her MBA from Kellogg, and her roles at healthcare tech companies and Adobe. Both agreed on the importance of discovering authentic life and work paths, as well as the role of challenges and transitions in shaping these paths. Kari also shared her experience transitioning from an HR leader to a stay-at-home mom and then starting her own coaching business to support working women. She emphasized the satisfaction and challenges of her roles and how having a coach helped her find her purpose again. Beth ended the conversation by asking about Kari's methods for helping clients balance their career choices and aspirations based on her own experience and the example of a client in the medical field.
You can find Kari here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.bratzler
IG: @kari_cravalho_coaching
website: www.cravalhocoaching.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kari-cravalho-mba-certified-coach-1177a7/
Link to Schedule a Complimentary Fitting Call: https://calendly.com/karicravalhocoaching/15-min-fitting-call
Are you working (from home or not), handling the kids school schedules, going to their events, doing all the household chores, and feeling invalidated, lonely, and exhausted?
Have you told your husband (or wife), "I need you to show me that you love me every day by little things and making me a priority,"?
I've been there too, and what I discovered was surprising. In this episode I discuss what to do if you feel like your spouse doesn't validate or prioritize you.
As always, go to theauthenticwifeandmom.com to learn more or visit happilyeveraftercoach.com if you're ready to save your marriage.
Many of my clients had critical mothers. They inherited many "shoulds" and dumped who they really were to win her "love" -- which was really just her approval.
Critical mothers pass on the pain of their own rejected selves to their daughters, if they don't do the inner work to heal first.
In this episode, after giving you permission to take your ability to receive even deeper as I am currently doing, I discuss exactly how you can begin to heal from this kind of upbringing.
As always, you can learn more at bethrowles.com or go straight to learning about my marriage coaching program at happilyeveraftercoach.com
Thanks for listening!
We all have days where we just don't like our spouse or even our kids, even if it's for a fleeting moment. Before you get on that downward spiral and plan the divorce, let me share with you that these thoughts are normal and to be expected in a family where you're with the same humans day after day.
Get yourself a big cup of grace and love on the part of you that is struggling. It's going to be ok!
(If you'd like to double-check that it's really going to be ok, visit my website at bethrowles.com and let's set up a time to chat!)
Do you WANT to grow old with your husband?
AI Summary
Lost Sight of Intentions: Beth's Marriage Advice
Beth had a heart-to-heart talk, where she shared her belief that many marriages end due to losing sight of the original intentions. Beth emphasized that couples often forget their initial dream of growing old together, sharing life experiences, and the promise to stay together till death. She noted that when conflicts arise, instead of focusing on the positive aspects of the partnership, people tend to subconsciously look for reasons to leave, which can lead to ruining the marriage. Beth encouraged her audience to be mindful of their initial intentions and to look for reasons to stay together rather than reasons to leave.
Focusing on Partner's Positives
Beth emphasized the importance of focusing on the positive aspects of our partner and not just highlighting their flaws. She encouraged to acknowledge the reasons why we chose them in the first place and to remember that they are different from us, which is often one of the reasons we are attracted to them. Beth also reminded that this applies to our children as well, who are a mix of both parents, and this diversity is what makes them whole and beautiful.
Dangers of Relationship Exit Focus
Beth warned against focusing on reasons to end a relationship, emphasizing that doing so can manifest conflict and unhappiness. She noted that even if one isn't explicitly expressing negative feelings, the other party will still pick up on them, potentially leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy of conflict and disconnection. Beth emphasized the importance of striving for peacefulness, safety, and happiness, and the potential dangers of seeking reasons to leave.
Relationship Ending Discussion
Beth had a discussion about ending a relationship and its implications. She warned about the dangers of looking for negative aspects of a person, which could lead to seeing those traits more clearly. Beth also mentioned the need for a person to be present with their children. She ended the discussion by noting that she was done and wanted the other parties to settle down.
Intentions: Shaping Our Experiences
Beth explained how powerful intentions can be in shaping our experiences. She used examples from hiking, vacations, and dining out to illustrate how setting an intention to enjoy or find the good in a situation can change our perspective and experience. Beth emphasized that when we set intentions, we can direct our experiences and find growth opportunities, rather than focusing on what's wrong.
Intentional Marriage: Staying Power
Beth emphasized the power of intention in marriages. She highlighted that without a conscious intention to stay together, a marriage will inevitably fail. Beth cited the example of a person named Jason Duncan who gained fame after saying in a podcast interview that he and his wife refuse to consider divorce as it is not in their vocabulary, due to their commitment to stay together forever. Beth challenged those present to consider whether they want to stay on the "struggle bus" or the "drama triangle" or choose to adopt the intention of staying married.
Positive Growth and Proactive Mindset
Beth emphasized the importance of focusing on the positive, personal growth, and being proactive in creating good outcomes. She encouraged others to adopt a teacher's mindset, grounded in what they want and how they can make it happen.
Do you have a busy mind, making it hard to be present with your family?
My guest today is coach Rich Lewis. Rich has published articles for numerous publications, including Contemplative Light, Abbey of the Arts, Contemplative Outreach, EerdWord, In Search of a New Eden, the Ordinary Mystic at Patheos, and the Contemplative Writer. Rich’s newest book is titled, Sitting with God: A Journey To Your True Self Through Centering Prayer. He teaches centering prayer in both his local and virtual community and offers one-on-one coaching through his website www.SilenceTeaches.com.
In this episode, Rich shows us how to use a meditative practice known as Centering Prayer to gain control over our thoughts and help us be more present with ourselves and others. I especially loved this schedule of practicing in the morning and then doing a "second sit" mid-afternoon as a way to recharge for the second half of the day!
I asked him how it helped him to be a better dad and he shared, "So I think it helped me be better in that I was more patient with each one of them and would slow myself down and let go and try to give each kid what they each need, because they're each unique. So what works for one doesn't work for the other. Just to give each of them kind of the one on one space they deserve, which is going to be very different."
Has your husband or child been diagnosed with ADHD? While I go into much more detail on my website, I wanted to give you a brief overview today of dopamine's role in ADHD and addiction so you can understand why your loved one may have addictive behaviors. I talk about how our bodies can keep us stuck in patterns even when we want to change, and why pleasure is fleeting unless it's coming from within.
To apply for coaching, visit bethrowles.com/coaching-application or to learn more about my program visit happilyeveraftercoach.com
My guest today is betrayal expert Dr. Debi Silber. She's the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute and is a holistic psychologist, host of her podcast From Betrayal to Breakthrough, and the author of Trust Again, The Unshakable Woman, and From Hardened to Healed. Her recent PhD study about how we experience betrayal made three groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal, which is amazing. She's also an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals.
In this episode, Debi shares the 5 Stages of Post Betrayal Syndrome, the symptoms we might experience before we heal from a betrayal, how to rebuild trust, and what it means if your partner or husband cheats again. Note that this work may pertain to you even if you haven't experienced betrayal with your husband -- you may feel like your parents' divorce was a betrayal or have a similar traumatic event in your past.
She said that either 1) the betrayal repeats or 2) the wall goes up in individuals who haven't used the betrayal to heal and transform. Dr. Debi also points out how someone can get stuck during the healing process, especially if they're commiserating on the betrayal with others rather than healing holistically.
Visit https://thepbtinstitute.com/ to learn how to work with Debi or to take her quizzes: Post Betrayal Syndrome or Healed or Hardened. You can also find her on Instagram at @debisilber
I recently had an aha moment at the vet's office when she told me that what my family does or doesn't do with our new puppy changes her perception of each person in the house. I realized that this has happened in our home with the kids as well and that one of my biggest frustrations wasn't necessarily that my husband wasn't DOING the thing; it was that my kids were viewing me as the sole leader in our family. I wanted the pressure off. Can you relate?
I also share a few observations from working with kids this week as a substitute.
To start your Happily Ever After journey, visit happilyeveraftercoach.com If your application is approved, you can choose to pay with PayPal and take advantage of their financing offers!
My guest today grew up in Scientology's Sea Org, a division of their cult that had her shoeless and separated from her family, doing hard labor for no pay by ten years old. Katherine Spallino's strong will and frustration with being punished for being human finally led her to escape Scientology's grip, despite having no one to help her and having to leave what she knew of her family behind.
We talk about her experience, what could drive a mother to abandon her child into the greedy arms of a cult, and how Danny Masterson's rape victims were written up--one example of a massive coverup of abuse and suppression of justice. My guest is the author of The Bad Cadet: Growing Up in the Church of Scientology's Sea Organization:
"At age six, Katherine Spallino is separated from her parents and sent to train for her future in the Church of Scientology’s clergy—the Sea Organization. Naively happy at first, she thinks it’s a fun adventure to live in a Scientology-owned dorm room in Los Angeles with thirteen other girls, rarely seeing her parents and never going to a normal school. She’s committed to her Scientology studies and her life’s purpose of clearing the planet.
Later, Katherine is sent to live at a secluded ranch with other young prospective Sea Org members, called cadets, where she studies Scientology and does manual labor—weeding fields, digging trenches, and working in the galley. The indoctrination escalates, and her family slips even farther into the background. But as she enters her teenage years, a host of new, more immediate concerns emerge—namely boys, popularity, fits of rebellion, and fantasies of what else life has to offer.
As the Sea Org beckons, the fundamental question intensifies—should she commit herself to the church, or reject everything she’s ever known for a chance at a different life?"
I so admire Katherine's bravery and willingness to speak up against the continued abuse happening right in front of us.
Current scientologists looking to escape scientology can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, Text START to 88788 or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ They will help you get out and connect you to needed resources.
It's here! My book on boundaries, Brick House Boundaries, is finally published! You can get your copy today on Amazon or from your favorite place to get books and you can join us Monday, September 11th, when we kick off the Brick House Boundary Book Club! Go to brickhouseboundaries.com to gain access.
In this episode, I talk about the difference between someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and someone who is emotionally immature. The term narcissist gets thrown around a lot, but the truth is that we all exist on the narcissist-empath spectrum and can be more of one or the other at any moment before we come into a middle, balanced place. The people being called a narcissist today are often just emotionally immature.
I also give you a few of the ways someone can violate the boundaries of others without even knowing it. There are several examples in the book and I can't wait for you to read it!
As always, you can learn more about working with me at theauthenticwifeandmom.com and don't forget to go to brickhouseboundaries.com to sign up for the Brick House Boundaries Book Club!
This episode is about building success as an introvert, whether that's through a career change or by starting a business. We talk about how to put yourself out there, making the leap, and even how to support introverted children.
Jenny Toh is founder and ICF credentialed, certified professional coach of River Life Coaching Pte. Ltd. Her mission as a coach is to empower her clients, particularly introverts as I am an introvert myself, to embrace their introversion as a strength and to define success on their own terms.
She is also a trained and certified mentor coach. Her mission as a mentor coach is to support her fellow coaches to continually hone their coaching skills and competencies to a mastery level, leveraging on their unique strengths and styles.
You can find Jenny at https://www.riverlifecoaching.com/
In this episode, I walk you through exactly how to explore your triggers, or uncomfortable feelings that don't match up to what you're experiencing.
If you've ever been upset or uncomfortable when everyone else was fine or even happy, this show is for you. Get your journal ready to take notes as we dive in and actually go through all three of the first steps of my Happily Ever After process.
As always, you can go to my website bethrowles.com to learn more!
You NEED to listen to this conversation with Dr. Karin Calde if your husband is constantly pressuring you for sex, or you feel like he complains all the time about not getting enough sex from you, or if you're a man who feels like you have a dead bedroom and aren't sure how to fix it. My guest takes the mystery out of this barrier to peace in the home, sharing her expertise on creating true intimacy and desire.
In this episode, we explore:
Dr. Karin Calde is a former therapist and current Internal Family Systems-informed relationship coach with an unquenchable thirst for all things love and self-growth. She helps couples in committed relationships create more intimacy and deepen their connection with one another.
You can find her at https://drcalde.com/ or listen to her podcast, Love Is Us: Exploring Relationships and How We Connect.
Resources Mentioned in the Show:
Men's Groups: EVRYMAN
Men's Coach: Man Talks and Men's Work by Connor Beaton
5 Gears of Touch: Sexual Awareness by Barry McCarthy
Pleasure: She Comes First by Ian Kerner, Ph.D.
And as always, you can find me at bethrowles.com
Or join our Facebook Group, Soul Sages!
In month five of my Happily Ever After Conscious Marriage Coaching Program, clients learn how to give their husbands empathy so they can truly transform the relationship. It removes the emotional stalemate that prevents relationship harmony.
In this episode, I'm covering five ways that we can be blocked from giving others empathy, even if we know exactly how to do it. Let's dive in deeper and consider what might be the cause behind your unwillingness to "hold space" for your husband when he's upset.
To get started on your personal growth journey, join our weekly meditation sessions! These live VIP Emotional Hygiene Sessions are meant for anyone, whether you're brand new to having a conscious marriage or have been on this journey a while. Sessions include opportunities for Q&A, teaching, and guided or vipassana meditation.
As always, visit theauthenticwifeandmom.com to learn more or get in touch with me.
Do your kids know what to do when they're angry? Do you as a parent, wife, or teacher know how to respond when someone is upset?
In this episode, Generational Integrity Coaches Jenny Murtagh and Felicia Severhill reflect on their experiences as parents and teachers, discussing the importance of self-care and finding a balance between personal needs and caregiving responsibilities. They delve into the challenges they faced and the realizations they had along the way. The conversation focuses on the significance of prioritizing self-care as a parent and the impact it has on overall well-being and relationships, as well as modeling basic human skills like emotional intelligence and empathy.
The discussion begins with my guests sharing why they started The Parent Empowerment Movement, which stemmed from recognizing their own struggles in meeting their parental needs. They wanted to share their insights and strategies with other parents, especially during the pandemic when families were confined to their homes. Drawing from their teaching experience, they discuss practical techniques that can make parenting more enjoyable and beneficial for both parents and children.
As the conversation progresses, they highlight the tendency for parents, particularly mothers, to prioritize their children's needs above their own. They stress the importance of self-care, emphasizing that parents cannot fully be there for their children if they neglect their own well-being. The hosts share personal anecdotes and reflect on their own journeys of learning to prioritize self-care.
The hosts then explore the similarities and differences between being a teacher and a parent when it comes to self-care. They acknowledge that while teachers may put up a facade of being fine, neglecting self-care eventually takes a toll on their overall well-being. They discuss the impact it has on relationships and interactions with students, colleagues, and family members.
They conclude by emphasizing the transformative power of self-care in personal growth and improved relationships. Taking care of oneself extends to positively influencing the care provided to others. They express how self-care allows them to show up better as parents, partners, and educators.
Tune in to this enlightening episode as Jenny and Felicia candidly share their experiences, provide valuable insights, and offer practical tips for incorporating self-care into the parenting journey.
You can find Jenny and Felicia at https://www.theparentempowermentmovement.com/ or on social media @theparentempowermentmovement
As always, you can find me at www.theauthenticwifeandmom.com.
In this episode, recorded as I'm coming to the end of writing my book on boundaries (which I can't wait to share with you!) we explore just a few of the reasons why you may not protect your boundaries. We focus on how being the good girl and taking care of everyone gets in the way of knowing our worth and protecting ourselves.
I also rant a bit about how we end up coddling our boys and what happens as a result.
As always, to learn more, please visit theauthenticwifeandmom.com or join our Facebook Group, Soul Sages. See you there!
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
800-799-7233
or Text START to 88788
In this episode of The Authentic Wife Show, guest Sandy Johnston shares what she experienced in multiple abusive relationships, the early warning signs she ignored, and what makes it hard to leave. We talk about:
Sandy Johnston is a survivor of domestic abuse that became life-threatening for herself and for her children.
As someone who had no choice but to flee, change her name and live in hiding with her three children all in the name of trying to stay safe from one drug affected abusive person who had lost the plot, Sandy is no stranger to letting go of her old life and having to reinvent herself starting from absolute scratch.
Since that fateful day in 2013 when she came home with her children to a house that was set with a cocktail of gas and flame to spark an explosion to do away with her and the children, Sandy was on that day confronted with the stark reality that she was no longer safe to go on living anywhere where he ex-partner knew of. Up until that point she had tried to keep him at a safe distance to no avail. Her attempts to manage an unmanageable situation were clearly not enough.
At that point Sandy knew that she had no choice but to put the safety of herself and her children as the top priority and do whatever she could to escape.
Almost nine years on Sandy's resolve to do everything in her power to break away has paid off.
She is the founder of The Key to Be Free Transformation Services and she is the host of the Tiaras Tears and Triumphs podcast.
She supports women struggling with the pain, damage, and complexities caused by abusive relationships with various services that enable them to recover, renew and rebuild on the other side so that they can feel whole, secure, and confident with or without a partner. She helps them heal their heart, head, and hip pocket to give them the confidence to find the key to close the door on fearfulness and open the door to new opportunities that align with their values, dreams, and desires.
Sandy speaks up about domestic abuse and she is on a mission to help women put their safety first by taking the steps to break free from abusive relationships by getting the right support.
You can visit Sandy at her website: https://www.sandyj.com.au/
If it sometimes feels like your husband is your extra child, I can relate! In this episode, I talked about 15 conflicts we used to have in our marriage before I did my inner work to turn our relationship around without my husband having to read a book or go to a counselor.
You'll quickly understand what our dynamic was like and how painful it was for me to be this angry, resentful shell of who I really am. The worst part was that I was co-creating everything I was experiencing, something I couldn't admit back then! I really thought he was to blame and if he would just be better, then everything would improve and we'd be fine.
As always, if you'd like to learn more, visit bethrowles.com and be sure to subscribe to and share this podcast if it's been helpful! Your reviews really make a difference so thank you for helping this movement grow.