The dance between I and Me lives right at the heart of selfhood—it’s the movement between the actor and the mask, the subject and the object, and the experiencer and the experienced. 

William James started the split: I as the knower, the pure subject of consciousness; Me as the known, the self that can be observed—my body, my history, my reputation, my roles. George Herbert Mead later turned this into a dance floor: I is spontaneous, unpredictable, creative response; Me is the social mirror, the internalised chorus of others telling us who we are supposed to be. 

So what’s the space between them? It’s not a gap you could drop a coin through. It’s more like the tension in a bowstring. On one side, I pulls toward raw immediacy: breath, impulse, spark. On the other, Me holds the shape, keeps the pattern recognisable. Together they generate the music of identity. Too much Me and you ossify into a statue of expectations. Too much I and you’re pure chaos, a fire with no hearth. 

The space itself is liminal, a threshold, rehearsal hall, dream corridor. It’s where improvisation happens. Imagine jazz: the Me is the chord progression, the agreed key; the I is the solo riffing over the structure. The in-between is the groove where they entwine. 

In coaching or soulcrafting terms, that space is fertile. It’s where someone can step back, see the “Me” they’ve been living as a script, and then let the “I” improvise a new line. Presence lives there. Choice lives there. The mythic imagination wakes up there because you are no longer fully trapped in the character nor dissolved into pure subject, but able to author between them. 

Exploring that space is like learning to lucid dream while awake, when you realise you are both the dreamer and the dreamed, the actor and the playwright, always in motion.

I read this morning from a philosopher that we are "misliving." Basically he was suggesting that in our current lifestyle, we often misread, misinterpret, or misconstrue various aspects of our lives, which keeps us from living a truly meaningful life.

You know, there's this quote by Gabriel Marcel that goes like this, "Life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be experienced." And honestly, I think it's such a cool way to look at life.

Is the choice of Hercules a trick question?

Which would you choose?

In this episode, we explore the realities and emotions of being over fifty, acknowledging the poignant truth that we may have more days behind us than ahead. Join us as we dive into the complexities of life's finite nature and the impact it has on our perspectives. My guest today is Nicola Jones.

See the full notes here.

The art of noticing has me noticing.

For today's Coach's Notes, I want to share a conversation I had with Sarah back in May 2022. I was originally going to use this interview along with others to revive the Wisdom Experience podcast, which focuses on spirituality and inner wisdom. For whatever reason, I decided not to pursue the relaunch. But I did have some great conversations with a few people, and given the direction and mission of the Coach's Notes to explore the 6 pillars of self-improvement, with spirituality development being one of the pillars, I feel that these conversations fit nicely in the groove. Today's conversation features my friend Sarah Beth Hunt who is a writer, a yoga teacher, and a meditation teacher. We share our backstory and relationship with spirituality and spiritual development.

The journey to uncover our authentic selves is an ongoing process, marked by moments of self-discovery, growth, and transformation. By pulling back the layers of persona and examining the depths of our being, we can forge a deeper connection with ourselves and live more authentic, fulfilling lives. The authentic self is not a fixed destination, but rather a constant exploration of the ever-evolving, multifaceted nature of our inner continue worlds.

Ultimately, embracing our authentic core selves requires courage, self-compassion, and a willingness to confront our fears and insecurities. As we learn to integrate our various personas with our true selves, we can cultivate a more harmonious, balanced sense of identity. This integration not only benefits our personal well-being but also enriches our relationships and interactions with others, fostering greater understanding, empathy, and connection.

In the pursuit of authenticity, we must remember that the journey is as important as the destination. Each step we take towards understanding and accepting our true selves contributes to our growth and self-awareness. By embracing the complexity and fluidity of our identities, we can navigate the challenges and uncertainties of life with resilience, self-assurance, and a deeper connection to our innermost selves.

The notes for this episode are just under 2500 words. 

I would post them, but I want you to listen to the episode instead. I know you're a busy person, so I'll be kind and share a stripped down list of what I talk about in this episode.

It's a long episode, so you might want to listen to it on your commute or while you're out walking or doing your chores!

Here's what I talk about today:

Some factors that are commonly associated with happiness include:

1. Positive relationships with family, friends, and significant others.
2. A sense of purpose or meaning in life.
3. The ability to manage stress and cope with challenges effectively.
4. Regular physical exercise and a healthy lifestyle.
5. A sense of gratitude and appreciation for what one has.
6. Pursuing activities that bring joy and fulfilment.
7. A sense of accomplishment and achievement.
8. A positive outlook and attitude towards life.
9. Helping others and contributing to society.
10. Financial stability and security.

For the details, you have to listen to the episode, so go ahead and click that play button now!

Excellence and Wisdom,
Clay

Going Small

When setting out to achieve a big goal, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that bigger is better. However, sometimes it's better to think small. In fact, thinking small can actually be the key to achieving a big goal. Here are some reasons why:

1. 
   Small steps are easier to take: When you break down a big goal into smaller steps, it becomes much easier to take action. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the task at hand, you can focus on taking one small step at a time. This can help you to build momentum and stay motivated.
2. Small steps lead to big progress: When you focus on taking small steps, you'll start to see progress more quickly. Each small step you take brings you closer to your goal, and this progress can be very motivating. Small steps may seem insignificant on their own, but when you add them up over time, they can lead to big changes.
3. Small steps help you learn: When you take small steps, you have the opportunity to learn along the way. You can experiment with different approaches and see what works best for you. This can help you to refine your strategy and make progress more efficiently.
4. Small steps are more sustainable: When you try to achieve a big goal all at once, you risk burning out quickly. However, when you focus on taking small steps, you can make progress without getting overwhelmed. This can help you to stay motivated and avoid giving up on your goal.
5. Small steps help you celebrate success: When you achieve a big goal, it can be hard to celebrate because it feels like such a huge accomplishment. However, when you break your goal down into smaller steps, you can celebrate each small success along the way. This can help you to stay motivated and feel a sense of accomplishment throughout the journey.

Bottom line is if you have a big goal in mind, don't be afraid to think small and take one step at a time.

Hello! Both holistic living and systems thinking are ways of looking at the world that acknowledge the interconnectedness of all things. While holistic living is a lifestyle that involves taking care of your whole self, systems thinking is an approach to problem-solving that considers the relationships and interactions between different elements in a system. Let's explore the similarities and differences between the two.

Both holistic living and systems thinking recognize that everything is interconnected. In holistic living, this means taking care of your mind, body, and spirit, as well as your relationships and environment, in order to achieve balance and harmony. In systems thinking, this means looking at how different elements in a system interact with one another and how changes in one area can affect the entire system.

Both holistic living and systems thinking require a shift in perspective. Holistic living involves seeing yourself as a whole person and recognizing the impact that different aspects of your life have on one another. Systems thinking involves looking at problems or situations from a broader perspective and understanding the complex relationships between different elements in a system.

However, there are also some differences between holistic living and systems thinking. Holistic living is a lifestyle that involves making intentional choices about how you care for yourself and your environment. Systems thinking, on the other hand, is a problem-solving approach that can be applied to a wide range of issues, from environmental sustainability to healthcare to business management.

In addition, while holistic living focuses on the individual, systems thinking can be applied to any level of analysis, from the micro-level of individual interactions to the macro-level of global systems. Systems thinking can also involve a more analytical and data-driven approach, while holistic living is often more focused on intuition, self-awareness, and personal growth.

Overall, both holistic living and systems thinking share a recognition of the interconnectedness of all things and a commitment to creating balance and harmony. While holistic living focuses on the individual and involves making intentional choices about how to care for yourself and your environment, systems thinking is a problem-solving approach that can be applied to a wide range of issues and levels of analysis. Both are valuable perspectives for navigating a complex and interconnected world!

Excellence and Wisdom,
Clay

In our fast-paced world, it can be difficult to find moments of stillness and calm. However, I believe that it is essential to carve out time in our lives for moments of reflection and introspection. One of the best ways to do this is by establishing a solid morning routine.

A morning routine is a set of habits or practices that we do each morning before we begin our day. It can be as simple or as elaborate as we want it to be. What is important is that it is consistent and intentional. A morning routine can help us to start our day with purpose, energy, and clarity.

For me, my morning routine is an essential part of my daily life. I wake up roughly 5AM everyday and spend an hour reading, contemplating, and/or writing. Then I spend about an hour in the gym. After the gym, I try to squeeze in a 10 - 20 minute meditation session.

What I love about my morning routine is that it sets the tone for my entire day. By starting my day with practices that nourish my mind, body, and spirit, I am more centered and focused throughout the day. I find that I am better able to handle the stresses and challenges that come my way.

Of course, everyone's morning routine will look different. What works for me may not work for you. However, I encourage you to experiment with different practices and find what feels right for you. Some people may prefer to start their day with a cup of tea or coffee and some quiet time, while others may enjoy a vigorous workout or a hearty breakfast.

The key is to find practices that bring you joy and help you to connect with your inner self. It can be helpful to start small and gradually build up to a more elaborate routine. Even just a few minutes of meditation or stretching each morning can make a big difference in how you feel throughout the day.

If you start your day with intention and purpose, you're better able to meet the challenges and stresses of the day. Plus it's good for your overall wellbeing.

Excellence and Wisdom,
Clay

Excellence is not just a goal to be pursued; it is a way of life that we can cultivate in everything we do. It is a commitment to the highest standards, to the pursuit of our full potential, and to the continual refinement of our skills, abilities, and character.

In this episode, I share some thoughts on personal power. I talk about how we limit ourselves by sinking our personal power into habits that are either bad or less than optimal.

Fear, doubt, and disbelief can be powerful emotions that can hold you back from reaching your full potential. However, with the right tools and strategies, it is possible to overcome these emotions and lead a fulfilling life. By facing your fears, practicing self-affirmation, focusing on the present moment, seeking support, embracing failure and developing a growth mindset, you can become more confident, resilient, and motivated to achieve your goals. Overcoming fear, doubt, and disbelief is a process that takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. By taking control of your thoughts and emotions, you can live a life filled with confidence, growth, and purpose.

In this episode, I explain why it's important to keep your belief maps fresh and up-to-date. Our belief maps are how we navigate reality. Reality is subjective, of course, so how do we make sure our current view of reality is the most up-to-date?