Explore how compulsive perfectionism creates alienation, and the science-backed benefits of as sense of connection to something larger than yourself. And discover practical ways to restore a sense of connection with Nature and the Universe for greater peace and well-being.
To make a dent in the pile of material you might feel you have to read to be up on the most recent developments in mental health, here's a practical review of the relatively new approach to therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, with brief examples of how to apply it. Because one of the main goals of ACT is flexibility, it can be very helpful to anyone struggling with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), or to those just challenged by some obsessive-compulsive traits, perfectionism, workaholism, or Type A personality.
Anxiety dreams may seem simply like a nuisance at first glance. But slow down and pay attention and you might find they have something to tell you about how you are living and how you see your world. Issues of avoidance, authenticity, and being tested can all show up in anxiety dreams. Seen as a source of wisdom, these dreams can lead you in new directions should you choose to engage with them.
Creativity may be one of the most fulfilling activities we have. Unless it’s blocked. Then the desire to be creative can feel like torture. But there are ways to get unblocked. In this episode we will talk about the possible benefit of compulsive urges, and the destructiveness of obsessive thinking. We’ll look at how the avoidance of feelings of anxiety and insecurity becomes a block. And we’ll look at the positive benefits of being in the present moment, and personifying The Blocker can be helpful.
Seriousness is an occupational hazard for obsessive-compulsives, Type A's and perfectionists. Being serious can hurt relationships, mental health and physical health. Yet many of us feel duty-bound to be serious, and we lose out on the benefits of humor and laughter--which can melt the rigidity which comes with being so serious.
What happens when a rigid devotion to rules, order, and perfection replaces our ability to feel, connect, and live? In this episode, we explore two moving character studies from Fredrik Backman’s novels A Man Called Ove and Britt-Marie Was Here. Through Ove and Britt-Marie—both fictional but deeply familiar—we see the beauty, heartbreak, and potential of the obsessive-compulsive personality. These stories show what can go wrong when emotional life is outsourced or buried—and what can go right when we begin to reclaim it. From tragic emotional isolation to unexpected transformation, this conversation offers insight, humor, and hope for anyone trying to loosen the grip of perfectionism.
How do we know if we are micromanaging? If you constantly look over someone’s shoulder, give them detailed instructions, distrust them, and make mountains out of molehills, it will discourage creativity, diminish morale, and disrupt relationships. It may even lead to them ignoring you. It brings about the opposite of your desired effect. Productivity, responsibility and ingenuity all decrease. It's like trying to break a horse to train it. Instead we need to macromanage, to consider the larger picture of our values and priorities.
Is RO DBT a new answer for overcontrol and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)? This post introduces Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a treatment developed for overcontrolled personalities, and explores how well it fits the traits and needs of those with OCPD. Clinical insights, pros and cons, and personal reflections included.
How do perfectionist and compulsive traits shape fatherhood? This post explores the challenges and opportunities for the obsessive father—how those traits can either alienate or elevate, harm or heal. Learn how self-awareness, values, and mindset can help fathers navigate the line between heroic and harmful.
Compulsive behavior is often dismissed as neurotic, but what if it's a deep call for connection and purpose? This post explores the redemptive potential of obsessive-compulsive personality traits—how they can become a source of meaning, growth, and compassion when understood properly.
Is burying the past holding you back? Most of us live as if we are still in the past without being aware of it. Discover how understanding your personal history can help you reclaim buried strengths, rewrite limiting stories, and live more freely in the present.
Ever wonder if you're being passive-aggressive? Learn how to spot the signs, understand your hidden motives, and shift toward more conscious, assertive communication.
Explore the true motivations behind punishment, its impact on relationships and society, and learn how to cultivate awareness to prevent destructive tendencies. Discover healthier ways to handle conflict and promote genuine justice. This episode explores the evolutionary and archetypal sources of punishment, how it is subtly used to more selfish ends, and how we can use it more effectively.
In this episode we explore the profound though often unseen energy that leads to either wholeness or compulsive behavior. If this energy is blocked from its true goal, it make make us unbalanced. Discover Carl Jung’s insights on compulsive behavior and how blocked growth can lead to obsession. Learn how to unlock your potential through individuation.
Insecurity underlies many of the mental health challenges we all experience, as if we are always taking a test and always fearing failure. But what causes this insecurity and how do we become more secure? In this episode we explore the three most common aspects of insecurity (feeling unlovable, morally deficient, or lacking incompetence), the parental, environmental and cultural causes, the strategies we enlist to deal with the insecurity, and three steps to move toward healthy security.
For those of you who are skeptical about whether therapy is effective, I get it. Who’s to know whether what goes on behind closed doors does any good? And isn’t it in the interest of the therapist to excavate all sorts of problems to keep those checks coming? Therapists actually share those sorts of suspicions. We want to know about the truth and about motivation. In this episode I explore some of the reservations people have about therapy, and how we can actually work with those concerns for your benefit.
There’s an increasing amount of research which suggests that spending at least two hours each week engaging with nature improves our well-being. And because of the epidemic of Nature Deficit Disorder (yes, it’s a real thing), an increasing number of healthcare professionals are even prescribing time in nature. This research implies that it’s beneficial for everyone, but there's good reason to believe that it can be particularly beneficial for people who are driven, Type A, and obsessive-compulsive, because they’re faced with certain mental and physical challenges that being in nature can help with. Spending time in nature can help to balance a personality that is weighted far too heavily on the side of control, planning, perfecting, achieving and fixing.
Life is not easy, and we actually make it harder if we imagine we can sashay through it effortlessly. But we can also make life more difficult than it needs to be by imagining that the path forward is steeper than it really is. In this post I explore the effect of "Mountain Mirage," its causes and its cures.
To have a good relationship we need to learn to speak the love languages that our partner can understand and feel. This can be particularly uncomfortable for people who are obsessive-compulsive, because they are most familiar with one particular language. But learning a new language is always good, and the energy and determination that come with being obsessive-compulsive can help you to learn it.
Whatever the motivation for withholding forgiveness, it often hurts the holder more than it hurts the offender. And as I’ll show in this episode, not forgiving may be part of a larger mindset which blocks not just connection with that one person, but also a more fulfilling life.