Christmas comes wrapped in lights, music, and cheer, but for those walking through grief, the season can feel completely out of sync with the heart. In this episode, Jay speaks honestly about the tension between cultural “holly jolly” expectations and the real weight of loss, especially when facing Christmas without the one who helped make it meaningful.

Drawing from a personal Christmas Eve journal entry, Jay reflects on how traditions shift, memories surface, and grief deepens during the holidays. Yet he also shares the deeper truth that anchors his heart: Christmas isn’t built on mood, but on Emmanuel—God with us. Even in seasons of grief, God continues to give strength, presence, peace, and hope.

If this Christmas feels different or difficult, this conversation will meet you with honesty, comfort, and the reminder that you don’t have to manufacture joy.

You simply must make room for the One who enters broken places with love.

In this vulnerable and hope-filled episode, Jay shares what it means to steward singleness during the holiday season, a season that carries both beauty and deep complexity for those grieving.

Jay speaks honestly about his own journey as a widower, acknowledging that singleness isn’t something he prefers or celebrates, but a season God has asked him to steward with purpose. With warmth and clarity, he explores how the holidays amplify grief, memories, expectations, and loneliness, yet can still become sacred opportunities to trust God in new ways.

Jay outlines how he is learning to steward his time, emotions, and expectations wisely, while offering practical insight for anyone navigating “different” holidays. He also shares a heartfelt reflection on Christmas without his wife, and how even in broken traditions, the truth of Emmanuel — God with us — remains unshaken.

If you're entering this season with a tender heart, this episode will help you find grace, perspective, and the courage to make room for God in your journey.

Tune in to Episode 47: “Stewarding Singleness During the Holidays.”

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

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In this heartfelt Thanksgiving episode, Jay shares why gratitude becomes even more meaningful — and more challenging — in seasons of grief. Drawing from Psalm 9:1 and Psalm 28:7, he reflects on the last Thanksgiving his wife spent at home, the pieces of his heart still scattered by loss, and how choosing thankfulness has become a courageous act of trust.

Jay reminds us that gratitude doesn’t erase sorrow; it reframes it. It’s quieter, more tender, and often found in the small, honest moments: the warmth of a coffee cup, the quiet of morning, the unexpected strength to face another day.

Through personal reflection and Scripture, Jay explores how remembering God’s goodness helps us gather the pieces of our hearts again, and how God faithfully meets us in that gathering.

If this Thanksgiving feels heavy or complicated, this episode will help you find one simple, honest thing to thank Him for — and rediscover hope in the middle of brokenness.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode, Jay dives into a phrase almost every grieving heart knows too well:

“Here we go again.”

That moment when a fresh wave of grief hits, when old wounds reopen, or when the weight of loss resurfaces just when you thought you were finally steady.

Jay explores why grief often repeats itself, why the waves keep coming, and how exhausting it can feel to relive the same emotional ground. He shares candidly about his own struggle with these moments—and the subtle anxiety, self-doubt, and restlessness they bring.

But this episode doesn’t stay in the heaviness.

Jay offers a new perspective: not fighting the wave but learning to ride it back toward God’s presence. He shares a deeply personal prayer that came from a quiet moment with ABBA—an invitation into stillness, surrender, and restoration.

If you’re walking through a season of repetitive waves, this episode will remind you that God meets us in the quiet places we cannot create on our own… and that His goodness remains true even when grief circles back.

Tune in to Episode 45: “Here We Go Again.”

Here’s the prayer I mentioned:

Father,

I give myself over to your quiet.

My quiet isn’t still enough. It’s too loud, too noisy, too busy.

Too much about me.

In your quiet there is peace.

Rescue… rest… restoration.

So, I consecrate my thoughts, emotions, ideas, plans, all that

my mind, heart and soul are consumed with.

I surrender all my agendas, strategies, motivations, attitudes

and my will to you.

I give you all my concerns, worries, doubts, fears and disappointments.

I hold nothing back.

I will be still my King, and I enter your quiet with gratitude.

Thank you for the invitation!

Amen

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

What happens when the foundation you’ve built your life on suddenly shifts? In this heartfelt episode, Jay Cookingham opens up about life after loss—about feeling “out of sync,” rebuilding identity, and finding new rhythms when the old anchors are gone.

Jay shares his personal journey through grief, the struggle of comparison, and the healing power of creativity and faith. It’s an honest conversation about re-learning how to live, love, and trust in God’s goodness even in deep sorrow.

If you’re navigating a season of loss or transition, this episode will remind you that hope, grace, and new beginnings are still possible.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

This episode explores what it really means to rediscover joy while still honoring loss. Jay shares about a recent men’s conference that reminded him of how universal grief is and how powerful it can be to talk about it honestly.

As he reflects on nearly six years since Christine’s passing, Jay wrestles with tension, the sacred space where sorrow and joy coexist. Through scripture, stories, and honest confession, he invites listeners to see that grief and joy aren’t opposites, they’re companions.

This episode is about learning to live again, to trust that joy can coexist with sorrow, and to find the courage to keep choosing life, gratitude, and God’s presence, one step at a time.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

After 41 episodes of walking through the valleys of grief and glimpses of grace, Jay takes a pause to look back.

In this reflective episode, he unpacks the five recurring themes that have shaped his journey so far: love, God’s relentless goodness, lament, the companionship of joy and sorrow, and trust.

Grief doesn’t stand still, it changes us. It refines, reshapes, and reminds us that even in loss, God continues to give. Through tears and truth, Jay shares what it means to keep moving forward, not away from grief, but deeper into grace.

If you’ve ever wondered whether things can truly change after loss, this episode offers a quiet but powerful yes.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In Episode 41 of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham explores the question every grieving heart eventually faces: What’s next? Nearly six years after the loss of his bride, Jay reflects on how grief reshapes our story, challenges our faith, and invites us to keep moving forward with courage and trust.

“What’s next” isn’t about getting over loss—it’s about integrating it into our lives, rediscovering purpose, and embracing the sacred act of releasing. With honesty, scripture, and practical insight, Jay shares how trust becomes the destination of grief and how God faithfully leads us into the next chapter of life.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In Episode 40 of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookinghamreflects on a surprising truth—grief doesn’t just take, it can also give back. While loss strips us down and reshapes our lives in ways we never asked for,grief can also become a strange kind of teacher, offering gifts of perspective, compassion, and a deeper awareness of God’s presence.

Through the layers of pain, Jay shares how grief has confirmed God’s promises, reminded him of His goodness, and even restored a sense of self. This episode is about learning to see grief not only as a thief but also as a giver—pointing us toward hope, transformation, and trust in God’s faithfulness.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay wraps up the Four R’s of grief with the last rhythm: Rigorous – The Holy Work of Not Giving Up.

Grief is relentless and often harsh but being rigorous doesn’t mean being harsh with yourself—it means being honest, consistent, and faithful in the hardest seasons.

Jay shares how “holy persistence” has carried him through loss, what rigorous faith looks like in practice, and why worship is hope in action. This is the hard and holy work of staying connected to God, to life, and to love—even when nothing feels stable.

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay shares openly about navigating a difficult day of grief while leaning into the spiritual practice of repetition. He unpacks the power of “Truth Bombs”—statements of faith and identity that help reshape his perspective during loss. Jay shares his top three truths:

• I am God’s son

• I am not being punished

• I can learn to love life again

These affirmations are more than words; they are lifelines that anchor him in God’s goodness and remind him that grief does not define him. With transparency and honesty, Jay invites listeners to discover their own “truth bombs” and experience the resilience that comes from speaking truth in love to themselves.

Grief can feel like an endless, exhausting dance you never signed up for. In this episode, Jay shares how “repeatable rhythms” have been his lifeline—small, intentional choices that keep hope alive, faith anchored, and joy within reach. From raw prayer and honest journaling to speaking truth, worship, and finding beauty, these rhythms don’t just fill the day—they shape the soul. Discover how one faithful step at a time can keep you moving forward, even when the weight of loss tries to pull you under.

In this second part of our Four R’s series, Jay Cookingham explores the often-misunderstood nature of resilience. This episode dives deep into what it really means to be resilient—not as a badge of toughness, but as a testimony to God’s sustaining presence in the middle of grief, loss, and transformation.

Resilience isn’t about bouncing back or pretending everything is okay. It’s about showing up when it’s hard, standing when you’d rather disappear, and letting God meet you in the cracks. Jay shares personal stories, spiritual insights, and biblical truths that have helped him walk forward after loss. You’ll hear how restoration leads to transformation and why breaking isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of becoming someone new.

If you’ve ever asked, “Can anything beautiful come from this pain?”—this episode is for you.

Grief doesn’t take days off—and neither can we when it comes to healing. In this raw and honest episode, Jay Cookingham begins a four-part series on the “Four R’s” that have helped him walk through grief with courage and faith: Relentless, Resilient, Repeatable, and Rigorous.

Today, he starts with the one that’s anchored him from day one: Relentless.

With vulnerable reflections, Scripture, and practical steps, Jay shares what it means to keep showing up when the pain won’t let up—and how relentless faith invites us to meet a relentlessly faithful God.

This episode is for anyone who’s tired, worn out, or still carrying a grief that feels invisible to the world. You’re not alone… and you don’t have to walk this road alone.

“Maybe the most relentless thing we can do is keep choosing life—one quiet, sacred breath at a time.” – Jay Cookingham

In this deeply personal episode of the NEXT Podcast, Jay reflects on the complex emotions that surround his five-and-a-half-year mark of grief. With raw honesty and spiritual depth, he explores what it means to live in the tension between sorrow and joy, faith and frustration, longing and resilience.

Jay shares how he's learning to move forward—not by erasing the pain, but by integrating it into his journey. Through what he calls the “Four Rs of Grief Work”—Relentless, Resilient, Repeatable, and Rigorous—Jay offers a framework that gives grief meaning and space to shape us without defining us.

This is an episode for anyone walking through grief, wondering if it’s okay to say, “I still hurt, but I still believe.”

In Episode 33 of the NEXT Podcast, Jay reflects on the 5.5-year mark since the passing of his beloved wife, Christine. What does grief feel like when the calendar keeps moving, but the ache remains? What happens when the expected emotions don’t arrive on cue—or when numbness sets in instead?

Through raw honesty, scriptural reflection, and deeply personal insight, Jay shares how grief continues to reshape his life—and how God is still doing something good in the middle of the sorrow. Because as Jay says:

“The heart doesn’t get better by avoiding pain… it gets better when we let God lead us through it.”

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep believing when you are still hurting, this episode is for you.

Calendar Grief: When the Numbers Don’t Add Up

In Episode 32 of the NEXT Podcast, host Jay Cookingham opens up about “calendar grief”—those dates on the calendar that carry deep emotional weight. Whether it’s an anniversary, a birthday, or a day of loss, these numbers don’t just track time… they hold stories, and sometimes, sorrow.

As Jay reflects on what would have been his 43rd wedding anniversary, he explores how grief messes with our math—and how God meets us in the moments that no longer add up. Through a powerful personal story, practical ways to navigate hard dates, and a reminder of our identity in Christ, this episode invites listeners to embrace their grief with honesty, purpose, and hope.

Because even when the dates hurt... God never misses a moment to draw near.

In this honest and deeply reflective episode, Jay explores how grief doesn’t just take—it reshapes. After the loss of his wife Christine, Jay found himself facing a deep question: “Who am I now?”

Grief may feel like it’s stealing everything familiar—purpose, peace, even identity—but it can also become a teacher. Jay unpacks how sorrow can actually refine us, drawing us back to the truth of who we are in Christ.

This episode digs into the pain and purpose of lament, the redemptive power of God’s compassion, and the unshakable foundation of sonship in the middle of identity-shifting loss. Whether you're grieving or walking with someone who is, you’ll find encouragement, truth, and grace here.

In this honest and deeply personal episode, Jay shares about one of the least-discussed aspects of grief: sexual bereavement and Widower’s Fire—the overwhelming longing for intimacy after the death of a spouse.

This episode opens the door to a conversation many avoid—especially in the church—and offers encouragement, grace, and practical steps for Christian men navigating this form of loss. Jay speaks vulnerably about the loneliness that comes with losing not just a partner, but the physical, emotional, and spiritual connection that intimacy brought to marriage.

Whether you’re a widower, a friend, a pastor, or someone trying to better support those in grief, this episode offers something vital: permission to name what hurts, space to be seen, and hope that God meets us even in the most uncomfortable places.

Giving Space to Grieve Honestly

In this heartfelt episode, Jay shares a vulnerable and honest conversation around the well-meaning but often painful things people say to those who are grieving. Drawing from personal experience, he offers real-life examples, simple responses, and a call to compassion.

More than a list of what not to say, this episode is an invitation—to walk gently with the grieving, to give them space to feel, and to resist the urge to “fix” what can’t be fixed. Jay also speaks candidly about what it means to move forward in grief while still deeply feeling the weight of loss—and how sadness and faith can live side by side.

Whether you’re grieving or supporting someone who is, this episode offers grace, understanding, and practical insight for the journey.